Oh, Its come back for another go.

Do you post crap like this on forums coz all you friends are in prison? Having trouble making new ones?

Go make in up with the LB'S, or you aint gonna have no-one else to talk to..

i went to the trouble to tell a funny story with some morals... yeh maybe i made some mistakes like choosing the wrong apartment ,... but i never really overreacted to them or anything i rekon i was controlled... what can u do ey?

Hilarious, imagining 20 katoeys chasing you down the road in high heels yelling "DIEEE FALUNGGG DIEEEEE".

All I hear is "falung law maak".

Almost like Monty Python, but death by Katoey instead of death by half naked, beautiful women.

TIT indeed. Nonetheless I was mildly tickled picturing the events unfold as I read the opening post, certainly a little more entertaining than some of the whining we see on TV.

What really intrigues me now is what the conversation would be like between the wise, handsome and experienced 'Mark45y' and the speedy, handsome inexperienced 'themadpoorfreelover'....

I liked the story. I think the young man is doing an admirable job of adjusting to Thailand.

He could use a bit of editing. I would have liked to have some more information about kick boxing. Maybe if he established his character a bit more.

He has a knack for dialog.

Recently I found some stuff on the INTERNET that I had written 40 years ago. It was from an old glossy magazine I used to write for when I was in Thailand for the first time.

Nothing like the OP's post.

I do have some advice for the OP. Find a writing outlet and keep writing. Get someone to help you a bit. But keep writing.

as soon as i was alone in my room the internal phone rang, i thought it was either the maid (or maybe a hooker) or something so i answered- "hellllooo" said the voice in a quiet little vioce, i was kind of curious so i answered and said yes? what do you want... come my room.. ok why not.. room 202...

The phone rang and some one said come to my room and you did, my god there realy are some stupid people in this country!!!!!

Glitterman II ??

Glitterman II ??

I have to ask whats that all about then?

Sigh. If you are gonna tell some crap, made up story at least make it slightly believeable.

Sigh. If you are gonna tell some crap, made up story at least make it slightly believeable.

Ak okay cheers for that, well who in there right mind would answer the phone then take up an invite to go to a strangers room, believable absolutely not unless you are deranged in some way and going by this joke of a storey he surley is!!!!!

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

Bloody hel_l I have only lived in Phuket, going by what you have just said maybe it is believable after all, think I will give Pattaya a wide berth..

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

Bloody hel_l I have only lived in Phuket, going by what you have just said maybe it is believable after all, think I will give Pattaya a wide berth..

Hear, Hear!

I'm glad I've led a sheltered life - long may it remain thus...

SC

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

Bloody hel_l I have only lived in Phuket, going by what you have just said maybe it is believable after all, think I will give Pattaya a wide berth..

Hear, Hear!

I'm glad I've led a sheltered life - long may it remain thus...

SC

(It is Pattaya, part of its charm,) somebody actually likes this place because of axe wielding Ladyboys,Gun fights etc, maybe the people that like that and live there are just crazy to!!! so glad I live in Phuket.

Did not know kickboxers could be such drama queens !

With all the options there why not just move, or unplug the phone ?

Anyhow sounds like he is having fun, at his own expense so no problem keep living the dream I guess

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

Bloody hel_l I have only lived in Phuket, going by what you have just said maybe it is believable after all, think I will give Pattaya a wide berth..

Hear, Hear!

I'm glad I've led a sheltered life - long may it remain thus...

SC

(It is Pattaya, part of its charm,) somebody actually likes this place because of axe wielding Ladyboys,Gun fights etc, maybe the people that like that and live there are just crazy to!!! so glad I live in Phuket.

To be honest, its the farang psycho kick-boxers I'm more worried about...

At least if you know how to behave in a respectable fashion and treat people with respect you'll get on fine with the lady-boys, and should not attract too much attention in the gunfights - a little perspicacity goes a long way...

SC

My goodness it is difficult to post here at times. I don't agree with the OP's profanity and think he could use some help in English. But the story line is believable and I would bet actually happened. Stranger things than that happen every minute in Pattaya.

I was chased down a public street by a deranged naked Thai woman with a six foot two by four one night. A Brit riding a motorcycle on his first vacation to Pattaya rescued me and we sped away from the cursing she devil. Imagine what he told his chums when he got back to merry old England.

I was in a bar when a rampaging elephant trashed all tables next to the street. The same bar two weeks later was overrun with a machete gang fight between motorcycle taxi drivers. A month after that only a few blocks away lady boy bar workers had a shootout reminiscent of the old west.

It is Pattaya, part of its charm. What is really unbelievable is that someone who knows anything about Thailand would find the story unbelievable.

Bloody hel_l I have only lived in Phuket, going by what you have just said maybe it is believable after all, think I will give Pattaya a wide berth..

Hear, Hear!

I'm glad I've led a sheltered life - long may it remain thus...

SC

(It is Pattaya, part of its charm,) somebody actually likes this place because of axe wielding Ladyboys,Gun fights etc, maybe the people that like that and live there are just crazy to!!! so glad I live in Phuket.

I didn't think the she had any reason to be upset with me since she was in a bed with three other guys.

I didn't think she would be upset that the woman I was with was pretty. Chinese/Thai white skinned pretty.

Who knows what tripped her trigger.

I sent the sweet young Chinese/Thai looking woman in a different direction and I took off for the front door.

I figured if I made it outside I'd be OK. It would take her a couple of minutes to find her clothes and put them on before she gave chase. Everybody knows Thai women are modest.

I flew through the door and started running down the street. I heard the first swoosh. She didn't put on her clothes. She was hot on my heels with a long board grabbed from a construction site nearby. Yelling and screaming at me. She wasn't buying my argument what was good for the gander was good for the goose.

The lady was a dancer. Not a little woman. She looked like a beach volleyball player. Muscled legs strong arms. She danced at the old Jade club. She was in her late 30's normally past the use by date for dancers but she was good.

That was three years ago. She retired to Chalong on Phuket.

She owns a beer bar there that caters to commercial seaman. Few Falang she tells me. She calls once or twice a year asking me to move to Phuket. She says she has changed. Phuket has mellowed her out. She even offered to support me. I still have her clothes in a big bag in my closet, her Buddha shrine and some fake gold jewelry.

I was with her for three years. Sometimes it feels like I was with her a lifetime. In Pattaya I picked her up from the police station so many times the officers called me by my first name.

Pattaya is not for everyone. It is like a time compression machine. You can live a couple of years in Pattaya in a couple of weeks.

Walking down the street with two friends, an Aussie and a Scot we saw the motorcycle guys and the machetes. Run away? We looked for a bar where we could get the best view of the fight.

I'm 65 now. When I get old I may go to Phuket and retire.

I am very surprised this thread is still open. How did the OP pass the board's morality filters?

Welcome to the "Farang Pub," where your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free, can experience a bit of a respite.

hey your story was very funny. If it is not true, then you have a very creative mind...if it was real..then wow

Great thread that I enjoyed reading. It beats all the boring stuff like where can I get a good pizza or hamburger. Mark45 is right, Pattaya is a strange place where you can life a lifetime in a couple of weeks. But unfortunately, it's changing. It's all ruskys now who are mostly cheap charlies. The bars are no longer full of happy people and some gals are getting desperate. I can believe the OP's story. Those sort of things really DO occur in Pattaya. But, the wiser people move out of places like that. Why the OP stayed I have no idea. It's not like there is a lack of accommodation in Pattaya. The Katoi of Pattaya AREN'T very nice people. They ARE desperate and use many methods to con customers. They pimp out young farm girls and follow the customer back to the guy's room. When the customer is taking a shower the young farm girl opens the door for the Katoi to steal his stuff. Thank god I don't get drunk and I'm always aware of what is around me. I learned my lessons the hard way in the Philippines. Pattaya is just a more sophisticated version of Angeles City in the Philippines.