The Cleverest Lyrics

[Thomas_Merton]

We've had all sorts of threads about the best pop/rock record or the music you are playing now or the most memorable or the one you play when you are depressed etc. etc.

I think it might be interesting to see what lyrics we think are the cleverest.

Lyrics can be anything and the most are of the type "I love you, you love me, wouldn't it be nice if we were three" type of banality. But sometimes they are on a standard with some of the greatest poetry.

What words to a song are so powerful they could stand alone as poetry without the melody or orchestration, the over-hype of the pop or rock star?

I'll start with something quite old, but in my opinion written by a genius.

"You're the Top"

You're the top!

You're the Coliseum.

You're the top!

You're the Louvre Museum.

You're a melody

From a symphony

By Strauss

You're a Bendel bonnet,

A Shakespeare sonnet,

You're Mickey Mouse!

You're the Nile,

You're the Tower of Pisa,

You're the smile

On the Mona Lisa

I'm a worthless check,

A total wreck,

A flop!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom

You're the top!

You're the top!

You're Mahatma Gandhi.

You're the top!

You're Napoleon Brandy.

You're the purple light

Of a summer night

In Spain,

You're the National Gallery

You're Garbo's salary,

You're cellophane!

You're sublime,

You're a turkey dinner,

You're the time

Of a Derby winner,

I'm a toy balloon

That's fated soon

To pop

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,

You're the top!

You're the top!

You're an arrow collar

You're the top!

You're a Coolidge dollar,

You're the nimble tread

Of the feet of Fred

Astaire,

You're an O'Neill drama,

You're Whistler's mama,

You're camembert!

You're a rose,

You're Inferno's Dante,

You're the nose

On the great Durante.

I'm just in a way,

As the French would say,

"de trop".

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,

You're the top!

You're the top!

You're a dance in Bali.

You're the top!

You're a hot tamale.

You're an angel, you,

Simply too, too, too

Divine,

You're a Boticcelli,

You're Keats, you're Shelley,

You're Ovaltine!

You're a boom,

You're the dam at Boulder,

You're the moon,

Over Mae West's shoulder,

I'm the nominee

Of the G.O.P.

Or GOP!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,

You're the top!

You're the top!

You're a Waldorf salad.

You're the top!

You're a Berlin ballad.

You're the boats that glide

On the sleepy Zuid-

-er Zee,

You're an old Dutch master,

You're Lady Astor,

You're broccoli!

You're romance,

You're the steppes of Russia,

You're the pants,

On a Roxy usher,

I'm a broken doll,

A fol-de-rol,

A blop,

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,

You're the top!

-- Cole Porter

[Totster]

I think these lyrics are cleaver...

Maria and the Children - Do-Re-Me (The Sound Of Music)

Let's start at the very beginning

A very good place to start

When you read you begin with A-B-C

When you sing you begin with do-re-mi

Do-re-mi, do-re-mi

The first three notes just happen to be

Do-re-mi, do-re-mi

[Maria:]

Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti

[spoken]

Let's see if I can make it easy

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Me, a name I call myself

Far, a long, long way to run

Sew, a needle pulling thread

La, a note to follow Sew

Tea, a drink with jam and bread

That will bring us back to Do (oh-oh-oh)

[Maria and Children:]

[Repeat above verse twice]

[Maria:]

Do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do

So-do!

[Maria: (spoken)]

Now children, do-re-mi-fa-so and so on

are only the tools we use to build a song.

Once you have these notes in your heads,

you can sing a million different tunes by mixing them up.

Like this.

So Do La Fa Mi Do Re

[spoken]

Can you do that?

[Children:]

So Do La Fa Mi Do Re

[Maria:]

So Do La Ti Do Re Do

[Children:]

So Do La Ti Do Re Do

[Maria:]

[spoken]

Now, put it all together.

[Maria and Children:]

So Do La Fa Mi Do Re, So Do La Ti Do Re Do

[Maria:]

[spoken]

Good!

[brigitta:]

[spoken]

But it doesn't mean anything.

[Maria:]

[spoken]

So we put in words. One word for every note. Like this.

When you know the notes to sing

You can sing most anything

[spoken]

Together!

[Maria and Children:]

When you know the notes to sing

You can sing most anything

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Me, a name I call myself

Far, a long, long way to run

Sew, a needle pulling thread

La, a note to follow Sew

Tea, a drink with jam and bread

That will bring us back to Do

Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do

Do Ti La So Fa Mi Re

[Children:]

Do Mi Mi

Mi So So

Re Fa Fa

La Ti Ti

[Repeat above verse 4x as Maria sings]

[Maria:]

When you know the notes to sing

You can sing most anything

[Maria and Children:]

Doe, a deer, a female deer

Ray, a drop of golden sun

Me, a name I call myself

Far, a long, long way to run

Sew, a needle pulling thread

La, a note to follow Sew

Tea, a drink with jam and bread

That will bring us back to

[Maria:]

[Children:]

Do . . . So Do

Re . . . La Fa

Mi . . . Mi Do

Fa . . . Re

So . . . So Do

La . . . La Fa

Ti . . . La So Fa Mi Re

Ti Do - oh - oh Ti Do -- So Do

[bartender100]

Supposedly written by a guy dying,who does not want his wife to watch him go,so he pens this while she is asleep by his bedside. Elvis and Mat Monroe

Softly, I will leave you softly

For my heart would break if you should wake and see me go

So I leave you softly, long before you miss me

Long before your arms can beg me stay

For one more hour or one more day

After all the years, I can’t bear the tears to fall

So, softly as I leave you there

(softly, long before you kiss me)

(long before your arms can beg me stay)

(for one more hour) or one more day

After all the years, I can’t bear the tears to fall

So, softly as I leave you there

As I leave I you there

As I leave I you there

[taxexile]

from frank zappa's "she's a fine girl"

"she gets up in the morning

she goes down in the evening"

short and to the point.

r.i.p. mr. zappa

[kayo]

Previously posted by myself on this thread

Well Frank settled down in the Valley

and hung his wild years

on a nail that he drove through

his wife's forehead.

he sold used office furniture

out there on San Fernando Road

and assumed a $30,000 loan

at 15 1/4 % and put down payment

on a little two bedroom place

his wife was a spent piece of used jet trash

made good bloody marys

kept her mouth shut most of the time

had a little Chihuahua named Carlos

that had some kind of skin disease

and was totally blind.

They had a

thoroughly modern kitchen

self-cleaning oven (the whole bit)

Frank drove a little sedan

they were so happy

One night Frank was on his way home

from work, stopped at the liquor store,

picked up a couple Mickey's Big Mouths

drank 'em in the car on his way

to the Shell station, he got a gallon of

gas in a can, drove home, doused

everything in the house, torched it,

parked across the street, laughing,

watching it burn, all Halloween

orange and chimney red then

Frank put on a top forty station

got on the Hollywood Freeway

headed north

Never could stand that dog

[HarryHacker]

What words to a song are so powerful they could stand alone as poetry without the melody or orchestration, the over-hype of the pop or rock star?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...L Cohen's Chelsea Hotel.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel,

you were talking so brave and so sweet,

giving me head on the unmade bed,

while the limousines wait in the street.

Those were the reasons and that was New York,

we were running for the money and the flesh.

And that was called love for the workers in song

probably still is for those of them left.

Ah but you got away, didn't you babe,

you just turned your back on the crowd,

you got away, I never once heard you say,

I need you, I don't need you,

I need you, I don't need you

and all of that jiving around.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel

you were famous, your heart was a legend.

You told me again you preferred handsome men

but for me you would make an exception.

And clenching your fist for the ones like us

who are oppressed by the figures of beauty,

you fixed yourself, you said, "Well never mind,

we are ugly but we have the music."

And then you got away, didn't you babe...

I don't mean to suggest that I loved you the best,

I can't keep track of each fallen robin.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel,

that's all, I don't even think of you that often.

Edited August 6, 2005 by HarryHacker

[Wolfie]

Paranoid - Black Sabbath

Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind

People think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time

All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy,

Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me occupy my brain?

Oh yeah

I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find,

I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry

Happiness I can not feel and love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state

I tell you to enjoy life, I wish I could but (it's/I'm) too late

[bendix]

Two words:

The Smiths

[Neeranam]

two words - here here.

[the scouser]

What words to a song are so powerful they could stand alone as poetry without the melody or orchestration, the over-hype of the pop or rock star?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

...L Cohen's Chelsea Hotel.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel,

you were talking so brave and so sweet,

giving me head on the unmade bed,

while the limousines wait in the street.

Those were the reasons and that was New York,

we were running for the money and the flesh.

And that was called love for the workers in song

probably still is for those of them left.

Ah but you got away, didn't you babe,

you just turned your back on the crowd,

you got away, I never once heard you say,

I need you, I don't need you,

I need you, I don't need you

and all of that jiving around.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel

you were famous, your heart was a legend.

You told me again you preferred handsome men

but for me you would make an exception.

And clenching your fist for the ones like us

who are oppressed by the figures of beauty,

you fixed yourself, you said, "Well never mind,

we are ugly but we have the music."

And then you got away, didn't you babe...

I don't mean to suggest that I loved you the best,

I can't keep track of each fallen robin.

I remember you well in the Chelsea Hotel,

that's all, I don't even think of you that often.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Only Lenny the Laugh could write poetry about being fellated by Janis Joplin.

Scouse.

[TizMe]

from frank zappa's "she's a fine girl"

"she gets up in the morning

she goes down in the evening"

short and to the point.

r.i.p. mr. zappa

from Mr Zappa's - Bobby Brown

Hey there, people, I’m bobby brown

They say I’m the cutest boy in town

My car is fast, my teeth is shiney

I tell all the girls they can kiss my heinie

Here I am at a famous school

I’m dressin’ sharp ’n’ i’m

Actin’ cool

I got a cheerleader here wants to help with my paper

Let her do all the work ’n’ maybe later I’ll rape her

Oh God I am the american dream

I do not think I’m too extreme

An’ I’m a handsome sonofabitch

I’m gonna get a good job ’n’ be real rich

(get a good

Get a good

Get a good

Get a good job)

Women’s liberation

Came creepin’ across the nation

I tell you people I was not ready

When I ######ed this dyke by the name of freddie

She made a little speech then,

Aw, she tried to make me say when

She had my balls in a vice, but she left the dick

I guess it’s still hooked on, but now it shoots too quick

Oh God I am the american dream

But now I smell like vaseline

An’ I’m a miserable sonofabitch

Am I a boy or a lady...i don’t know which

(I wonder wonder

Wonder wonder)

So I went out ’n’ bought me a leisure suit

I jingle my change, but I’m still kinda cute

Got a job doin’ radio promo

An’ none of the jocks can even tell I’m a homo

Eventually me ’n’ a friend

Sorta drifted along into s&m

I can take about an hour on the tower of power

’long as I gets a little golden shower

Oh God I am the american dream

With a spindle up my butt till it makes me scream

An’ I’ll do anything to get ahead

I lay awake nights sayin’, thank you, fred!

Oh god, oh god, I’m so fantastic!

Thanks to freddie, I’m a sexual spastic

And my name is bobby brown

Watch me now, I’m goin down,

And my name is bobby brown

Watch me now, I’m goin down, etc.

[Spee]

from Mr Zappa's - Bobby Brown

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Beat me to the punch. Zappa's lyrics are outrageous. Almost anything off Sheik Yerbouti is pretty wild. Like the previous, RIP Frankie!

[Boon Mee]

How about George Thorogood's rendition of "When I Drink Alone..."?

[cdnvic]

Pretty much anything from Red Rider's first few albums Neruda, As far As Siam, and Don't Fight It. That was back when Tom Cochrane was still a poet, and before he tried to be a pop star.

Here's a few from Neruda:

White Hot

Waiting by the shoreline

In somalia for your reply

I need you to come see me

That's no lie

The guns are getting closer

The sweat pours like dew

That fell from the trees in tripoli

In the spring

I'm white hot

I can't take it anymore

I'm white hot

By the somalian shore

Yes i'm burning to the core

I need rain

Cast out from the jungle

With no rations or canteen

For selling faulty riffles

To the thieves in tanzania

Adventures and misfortune

Nothing wagered, nothing gained

I have wandered through the desert

Found the ocean not the rain

I can remember the nights by the strand in tripoli

We were so much cooler then

I had you and my poetry to protect me

We were so much younger then

I need rain

I'm white hot

I can't take it anymore

I'm white hot

By the somalian shore

I'm white hot

Yes i'm burning to the core

I need rain, I need rain, I need rain

I can remember the nights by the sea in tripoli

Were were so much colder then

I had you and my poetry to protect me

We were both soldiers then

Bolder then, colder then

I need rain, I need rain, I need rain

White hot

White hot...

Water

Human Race

I can see it on the road ahead

Running hard i'm here

But I could be there instead

Many houses with the lights on

Silhouettes behind the shades

Beside fires

I'm sure that I saw you in one

I loved you but,

That was way back then

Now i'm alone outside

I face the wind

The rain washes me thin

Knocked me down and I got back up

I got myself back in the race again

Knock me down, and I'll get back up

And I'll get myself

Back in the race again

Race through the shadows

Race against stone

The sunken city

I thought was my own

Might be in a brave new world

But it's not my home

Roll over fall in

"My god", I screamed

They might catch them,

They won't catch me

I'm out here clean

I'm free...i'm free

Knocked me down and I got back up

And i got myself

Back in the race again

Knock me down, and i'll get back up

And i'll get myself

Back in the race again

cv

[chuchok]

from Mr Zappa's - Bobby Brown

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Beat me to the punch. Zappa's lyrics are outrageous. Almost anything off Sheik Yerbouti is pretty wild. Like the previous, RIP Frankie!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

bloody right! great album.

Edited August 7, 2005 by chuchok

[TizMe]

from Mr Zappa's - Bobby Brown

Beat me to the punch. Zappa's lyrics are outrageous. Almost anything off Sheik Yerbouti is pretty wild. Like the previous, RIP Frankie!

bloody right! great album.

Even the album title is very clever & witty.

[Nickerelastic]

EELS LYRICS

"Susan's House"

Going over to susan's house

Walking south down baxter street

Nothing hiding behind this picket fence

There's a crazy old woman smashing bottles

On the sidewalk where her house burnt down two years ago

People say that back then she really wasn't that crazy

Going over to susan's house

Going over to susan's house

She's gonna make it right

Down by the donut prince

A fifteen year old boy lies on the sidewalk

With a bullet in his forehead

In a final act of indignity

The paramedics take off all his clothes

For the whole world to see

While they put him in the bag

Meanwhile an old couple argues inside the queen bee

The sick fluorescent light shimmering on their skin

Going over to susan's house

Going over to susan's house

I can't be alone tonight

Take a left down echo park

A kid asks do i want some crack

Tv sets are spewing baywatch

Through the windows into black

Here comes a girl with long brown hair

Who can't be more than seventeen

She sucks on a red popsicle while she pushes a baby girl

In a pink carriage

And i'm thinking that must be her sister

That must be her sister, right?

They go into the 7-11

And i keep walking

I'm not saying these lyrics are clever.

This I found very moving.......

"A fifteen year old boy lies on the sidewalk

With a bullet in his forehead

In a final act of indignity

The paramedics take off all his clothes

For the whole world to see

While they put him in the bag

Meanwhile an old couple argues inside the queen bee

The sick fluorescent light shimmering on their skin"

[chuchok]

Another frank zappa .......

Baby Snakes

Late at night is when they come out

Baby Snakes

Sure you know what I'm talkin' about

Pink 'n' wet

They make the best kinda pet

Baby

Baby

Snakes

Looked around

An' there's a couple right near me

Baby Snakes

Maybe I think they can probably hear me

Pink 'n' wet

I'll take all I can get

Baby

Baby

Sna-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-kes, Yeah

They live in a ho-ho-hole

(Tiny hole)

That is usually empty

(usually empty, tiny too)

They live by a code

(Dit dit dit dit)

That is usually SMPTE

Which stands for

Society of Motion Picture Television Engineers

Maybe I think

That is what keeps them in sync

They're wet 'n' they're pink

I think I'll give 'em a, give 'em a,

Give 'em a drink

Baby Sna-a-a-a-a-akesss

[tasasc]

Susan's House is an emotive song - it's playing as I write.

How about these snippets- just for the imagery.....?

Like a priest with a pornographic watch,

Looking and longing on the sly.

Boho Dance- Joni Mitchell

Poor kid, he overdid it,

Embraced a spreading haze.

And while he sighed his body died,

In fifteen ways.

Charlie Freak -Steely Dan

And for the Zappa afficionados...

I am gross and perverted

I'm obsessed 'n deranged

I have existed for years

But very little has changed

I'm the tool of the Government

And industry too

For I am destined to rule

And regulate you

I may be vile and pernicious

But you can't look away

I make you think I'm delicious

With the stuff that I say

I'm the best you can get

Have you guessed me yet?

I'm the slime oozin' out

From your TV set.

I'm the Slime -Zappa

[sadman]

Just about anything penned by Paul Simon, perhaps the most consistently brilliant lyricist of his time.

We in Britain were not to be outdone, with the Wombles and later with the Teletubbies. Good, solid family entertainment, I call it.

[Nickerelastic]

sad

sad

sad

We in Britain were not to be outdone, with the Wombles and later with the Teletubbies. Good, solid family entertainment, I call it.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[sadman]

'There's a tiny house

By a tiny stream,

Where a lovely lass

Had a lovely dream.

And the dream came true,

So unexpectedly,

In Gilligilliossonfeffercatsanellabrogan by the sea.'

Brings tears to my eyes.

[Nickerelastic]

'There's a tiny house

By a tiny stream,

Where a lovely lass

Had a lovely dream.

And the dream came true,

So unexpectedly,

In Gilligilliossonfeffercatsanellabrogan by the sea.'

Brings tears to my eyes.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It may bring tears to your eyes.

Made me laugh like.......had a fit of the giggles ...........or ......someone who found something really funny

[sadman]

'There's a tiny house

By a tiny stream,

Where a lovely lass

Had a lovely dream.

And the dream came true,

So unexpectedly,

In Gilligilliossonfeffercatsanellabrogan by the sea.'

Brings tears to my eyes.

It may bring tears to your eyes.

Made me laugh like.......had a fit of the giggles ...........or ......someone who found something really funny

Although a good kick in the nads brings tears to my eyes as well........