Simple Solution To Expat Complaints

[Familyonthemove]

Common problems and some suggested solutions:

Food ordered for a group of diners in a Thai Restaurants never arrives together

– eating is a communal shared activity, so order a range of dishes to be shared and start to eat them as they arrive

People walk so dam_n slow and block the pavements

– There’s a maximum speed you can walk without sweating. Exceed the sweat barrier and your clothes will be wet, which becomes unpleasant as soon as you enter an AC environment. Also – Thai pavements are single file because of all the signs, street stalls and Skytrain stations etc …. So slow down … or walk in the road like any Thai’s in a hurry.

Thai policemen ask for on the spot fines

– and you’d rather have a letter in the post, £60 fine and endorsements on your driving licence?

Thai driving is dangerous

– try India, Indonesia or Pakistan and you’ll never complain again about driving in Thailand.

Thai girls treat me like a two legged ATM

– in the UK or US any moderately attractive woman has developed the ability to filter men over the age of 35 from her field of view. You are effectively invisible. Be thankful that young Thai people at least acknowledge you exist.

Wine is so expensive

– drink beer

The Skytrain is packed at peak times

- Always choose the middle carriages (stand mid way between the platform clocks), the entry stairs are at each end so the first and last carriages are the fullest

Cheese costs more than gold

- Forget the wine, and bring cheese back from your trips home – also look for Aussie imported cheese as it’s slightly less than French or English

The heat in the summer makes my b*lls sweat

- Yep – you got me there

[maxman71]

Excellent post...you nailed it.

[craigt3365]

Well put...but I still miss my wine!!!!

[IanForbes]

Well put...but I still miss my wine!!!!

Replace it with Whine. Everyone else on thaivisa does.

Except the OP, of course. Great post OP.

Yah just have to accept what you can't change and enjoy the differences. Fortunately, I can enjoy the best of both worlds. I enjoy 7 months in Canada until the rainand winter sets in, and then I come to Thailand in the ideal cool season for 5 months. Maybe that's why I always have this big grin on my face like I've discovered Nirvana.

[bina]

The heat in the summer makes my b*lls sweat

- Yep – you got me there

remove them. think of it as planned removal as opposed to duck removal by unplanned actions... and how much cooler u will feel........

bina )

[StreetCowboy]

The heat in the summer makes my b*lls sweat

- Yep – you got me there

remove them. think of it as planned removal as opposed to duck removal by unplanned actions... and how much cooler u will feel........

bina )

And think of the money you'd save....

You'd need to buy some fleas, though, or the lack of scratching would drive you mad.

- I;m guessing....

SC

[Boater]

Thai girls treat me like a two legged ATM

only if you wear the T Shirt

[kurnell]

Wine is expensive - sneak it into the country like i do!!

[Thaddeus]

Walk backwards everywhere, you'll never stub your big toe again.

[kpmsprtd]

Well put...but I still miss my wine!!!!

Replace it with Whine. Everyone else on thaivisa does.

Except the OP, of course. Great post OP.

Yah just have to accept what you can't change and enjoy the differences. Fortunately, I can enjoy the best of both worlds. I enjoy 7 months in Canada until the rain and winter sets in, and then I come to Thailand in the ideal cool season for 5 months. Maybe that's why I always have this big grin on my face like I've discovered Nirvana.

You The Man, Ian. I'm going to stay in the rat race as long as I can, hoping that I can execute a similar plan. It seems to me that you do indeed have the best of both worlds. Well done on setting things up to work that way. Wish me luck--I'm going to need it.

[sbk]

Ok, I admit to most of them exceptI walk fairly fast but just have learned to weave my way through people and the last one has never been an issue.

[bina]

Ok, I admit to most of them exceptI walk fairly fast but just have learned to weave my way through people and the last one has never been an issue.

balls of brass do not sweat, nor do they itch.

bina

[Danlo]

There are lots of Culture shocks here in Thailand, I wonder what percentage make the grade to stay or cant handle things and go.

[sbk]

Ok, I admit to most of them exceptI walk fairly fast but just have learned to weave my way through people and the last one has never been an issue.

balls of brass do not sweat, nor do they itch.

bina

How well you know me darling

[Antathome]

My wife and I also really enjoy wine, so we had a little bit of a shock when we were asked to pay 2500 Baht for a bottle that we could puchase at home from the bottle shop for 400 Baht. Ouch! Fortunately there is beer and even my wife enjoyed Singha and Chang. And there are gin and tonics and Mai Tais, etc. One can always improvise

[Antathome]

My wife and I also really enjoy wine, so we had a little bit of a shock when we were asked to pay 2500 Baht for a bottle that we could puchase at home from the bottle shop for 400 Baht. Ouch! Fortunately there is beer and even my wife enjoyed Singha and Chang. And there are gin and tonics and Mai Tais, etc. One can always improvise

Oops - my conversion is off today - the bottle at home costs the equivilent of 200 Baht.

[Monkeypants]

Sure it's not lice making you scratch your balls ?

If it is lice, rub some icing sugar on your balls.

It won't kill them but it rots their teeth, you'll get a good nights sleep.

[cobra]

Thread should be pinned,

Op is dead on,

Would add never enter into public argument based on logic,

actually just concede, take deep breath and smile.

Edited November 14, 2010 by cobra

[Junglejingle]

Sure it's not lice making you scratch your balls ?

If it is lice, rub some icing sugar on your balls.

It won't kill them but it rots their teeth, you'll get a good nights sleep.

hahahahaha.....thats a pretty unique..and *sweeeeeeeeet* suggestion...for a pretty *sweaty* situation....LMAO!

[IanForbes]

The heat in the summer makes my b*lls sweat

- Yep – you got me there

remove them. think of it as planned removal as opposed to duck removal by unplanned actions... and how much cooler u will feel........

bina )

:lol:

Such as getting married to a Thai woman and then deciding you still want to be single?

Lots of funny replies to this topic. I like this one...

Sure it's not lice making you scratch your balls ?

If it is lice, rub some icing sugar on your balls.

It won't kill them but it rots their teeth, you'll get a good nights sleep

I didn't know the little buggers had teeth. But, it hasn't affected the little red ants that eat the sugar off my candy peanuts.

[mca]

The sinsod dilemma. If you're having your doubts as to whether your intended is worth the million baht her parasites, sorry, parents are asking for in the form of a dowry ( mainly based upon the fact that her entire vocabulary seems to consist of " I'm bored ", " I'm hungry ", " You not good man " and " We go shopping " plus she can't remember the name of the city where you come from ) give her this simple multiple choice test with the understanding that you'll knock 100000 baht off the sinsod for every incorrect answer.

1) Who is the non-executive chairman of Microsoft?

1) Bill Gates

2) Billy Ray Cyrus

3) Bill Bixby

2) Where is Belgium?

1) Europe

2) South America

3) 2nd Floor Central Chidlom

3) Where are McDonalds hamburgers from?

1) America

2) Old McDonalds Farm

3) Laos

4) Who is the current American President?

1) Barak Obama

2) Robert Pattinson

3) Abhisit Vejjajiva

5) How far is Bangkok from Khon Kaen?

1) Approx 450 kilometres

2) 100000 kilometres

3) 50 metres

6) Elvis Presley was.....?

1) Probably the most well known western rock and roll superstar of all time.

2) The instigator of the Protestant Reformation in 1517.

3) The inventor of the hydrogen bomb.

7) How many centimetres in one metre?

1) 100

2) 256.751

3) -1

8) Complete the following. John, Paul, George and....?

1) Ringo

2) Muhammed

3) Field Marshal Thanom Kittikachorn

9) The Prime Minister of Thailand studied at....?

1) Oxford

2) Hogwarts

3) Amphur Song Dao, Sakon Nakhon

10) Who sang these immortal words

" Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

One banana, two banana, three banana, four.

Four bananas make a bunch and so do many more.

Over hill and highway the banana buggies go

Comin' on to bring you The Banana Splits Show.

Makin up a mess of fun

Makin up a mess of fun

Lot's of fun for everyone.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Four banana, three banana, two banana, one.

All bananas playing in the bright warm sun.

Flippin like a pancake, poppin like a cork

Fleagle, Bingo, Drooper and Snork.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la.

Tra la la, la la la la."

1) The Banana Splits

2) Suthep Thaugsuban

3) The Supreme Patriarch of Thailand

Edited November 18, 2010 by mca

[grimleybob]

Well put...but I still miss my wine!!!!

Buy consentrated grape juice, have someone send you some yeast ,a book on winemaking and make your own

Edited November 26, 2010 by grimleybob

[onnut]

Sure it's not lice making you scratch your balls ?

If it is lice, rub some icing sugar on your balls.

It won't kill them but it rots their teeth, you'll get a good nights sleep.

[basinboy]

My wife and I also really enjoy wine, so we had a little bit of a shock when we were asked to pay 2500 Baht for a bottle that we could puchase at home from the bottle shop for 400 Baht. Ouch! Fortunately there is beer and even my wife enjoyed Singha and Chang. And there are gin and tonics and Mai Tais, etc. One can always improvise

Oops - my conversion is off today - the bottle at home costs the equivilent of 200 Baht.

A bottle of Aussie wine at around AUD 6.66 (200bht) Costs AUD 83.33 (2500bht)

I think your conversion rate is still off I know we pay a lot more in LOS but not 12.5 times more!!