Chiang Mai Forum

[caf]

Neither the op ,nor the silent majority on here, nor those who have put their thoughts to words - none have spoken of expecting the forum to be composed of paragons of politeness. What was expressed was an expectation or hope that rudeness and flaming in all its forms could be avoided.

Your point that some posters are not human is noted. Why you posted the point does not seem too positive.

You are making a supposition that the missing dog thread initiated the op's post. I think he was generalising, probably over a long period of time during his forum membership. That does not make his view indignant. The metaphors on Hamlet and Mother Theresa show your wide reading but are not really apt. And I think you might have meant ingenuous not ungenerous.

Your post was a bit "attacking" and I think gives the op his point.

I don't see the post of Asmeron as being "not too positive" or "attacking", but you obviously do. That's the point of a forum, people see things differently, have different opinions and different ways of expression. For example, to me, your post comes across as being a bit sanctimonious, but others may not agree. Such is life.

As you say we are all entitled to our opinions and views.

I was referring to Asperon's comment on the missing dog thread - a point not raised by the op and a mere supposition on posters' part. And the op didnt talk of paragons of politeness. He assumed, as I would, that people are normal and reasonable ( no-one expects paragons ). And I think calling the op indignant is not borne out by the op's initial remarks which were meant to be his observations on this forum.

To remind you, I have highlighted his odd points. But I suggest you re-read the op.

"Exactly. Excellent comparison. Why on earth should anyone expect this forum to be composed of paragons of politeness eager to dispense goodness and mercy to all and sundry? It mostly, with a few notable exceptions, consists of human beings and will unsurprisingly reflect the various vices and virtues of the species.

If it really was "the missing dog thread" that caused the OP's indignant outburst then she/he would have to explain why , having received nine most helpful replies only one of which was "negative" her/his sensitivities were aroused sufficiently to generate such an indignant post.

I won't repeat Hamlet's advice to Ophelia here, that would be ungenerous but I don't think Mother Theresa would have felt at all comfortable consorting with the likes of us even though in my opinion, there really isn't enough bad behaviour to get too upset about.

And I agree with all those who advise ignoring such attacks ; sometimes difficult if directed at oneself but a mature reaction. On the othe hand, I do welcome the OP's post as there's no harm in our being chastised occcaisionaly. How's that for a bit of sanctimonious twaddle? I know what you'e thinking so I got in before you."

I was merely expressing my view and not being sanctimonious; though you can see for yourself some pretty sanctimonious phrases in the above passage.

The majority of tv members are fine and they make some good contributions to the forum. But the lurkers atre being scared away by the minority. On this thread there were 859 views but only 27 replies. What does that tell you?

[sarahsbloke]

The majority of tv members are fine and they make some good contributions to the forum. But the lurkers atre being scared away by the minority. On this thread there were 859 views but only 27 replies. What does that tell you?

It tells me one in twenty readers of this thread have something to say.

A normal response rate for any discussion forum.

On my KhomLoy photo thread I had 300 views and 5 replies, all comments were positive, nobody was scared away.

Edited November 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[caf]

I take your point that a barman or mod can control, but why should we have these people on here i the first place.

And here we see the second problem with forums, those who aren't mods but want to control who uses the forum.

<deleted> have the same right to an opinion as everyone else ..... you want to control them, learn to use the 'ignore' feature.

I would rather read the comments of a fool, than read the comments of a control freak!

Those who have supported the op are not control freaks wanting to control who uses the forum. Yes, <deleted> - as you aptly put it - have a right to their opinion and no-one has had a problem with that. The op and his supporters ( and I suspect the 859 who have viewed thethread and not posted ) were talking of disparaging and flaming attacking remarks. No-one said people aren't entitled to their views. Read what actually said.

[caf]

The majority of tv members are fine and they make some good contributions to the forum. But the lurkers atre being scared away by the minority. On this thread there were 859 views but only 27 replies. What does that tell you?

It tells me one in twenty readers of this thread have something to say.

A normal response rate for any discussion forum.

On my KhomLoy photo thread I had 300 views and 5 replies, all comments were positive, nobody was scared away.

I won't comment on your maths. And I havent read your photo thread, but if it was not contentious then one would not expect many replies , people would view to see the photos. Not a good analogy.

But you may be right, though I tend to agree with the op's observations.

" (like many of my friends who have said they stay away from here because of the bad attitude),

"The assumptions and sanctimonious attitudes beggar belief.

"So many members veiws that i enjoyed reading seemed to have faded away, chased out by the petty hypocritical comments of so many of the resident grouches.

" but sadly it chases away so many members that would likely have positive contributions to make.

[sarahsbloke]

I take your point that a barman or mod can control, but why should we have these people on here i the first place.

And here we see the second problem with forums, those who aren't mods but want to control who uses the forum.

<deleted> have the same right to an opinion as everyone else ..... you want to control them, learn to use the 'ignore' feature.

I would rather read the comments of a fool, than read the comments of a control freak!

Those who have supported the op are not control freaks wanting to control who uses the forum. Yes, <deleted> - as you aptly put it - have a right to their opinion and no-one has had a problem with that. The op and his supporters ( and I suspect the 859 who have viewed thethread and not posted ) were talking of disparaging and flaming attacking remarks. No-one said people aren't entitled to their views. Read what actually said.

"why should we have these people on here"

We .... being you and people you agree with or approve of, I had naturally assumed. I'm sorry if I read it wrong, but can't actually see how it can be read another way.

I already explained why the number of people didn't respond.

Pick another thread and see what percentage of readers respond, easy to do!

You will discover every thread has a response rate of between 1 in 20 and 1 in 30 writers/viewers.

Edited November 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[thinkinofstayin]

Those who have supported the op are not control freaks wanting to control who uses the forum. Yes, <deleted> - as you aptly put it - have a right to their opinion and no-one has had a problem with that. The op and his supporters ( and I suspect the 859 who have viewed thethread and not posted ) were talking of disparaging and flaming attacking remarks. No-one said people aren't entitled to their views. Read what actually said.

If the OP and his supporters don't like the disparaging and flaming remarks on this forum then they shouldn't post here. As I've said before, this forum is a lot tamer than it was six months ago. Lots of people have left for that reason and some have come on board.

To go back to the excellent public bar analogy, this is a public forum and it's doors are open to everyone. So long as you behave to the standards of the bar owner you're okay.If you're getting a little bit out of order he'll come over and ask you to tone it down. Go too far and you're banned. If the mods on this forum don't remove what you consider to be disparaging and flaming comments then they obviously think they are allowed. There are lots of bars in the world, with different types of customers and managers with varying degrees of tolerance. There are rough bars along the dock road and family bars in the countryside. You decide which sort of bar you want to go in, and of all the bars in all the world, you chose this one.

.

Edited November 22, 2010 by thinkinofstayin

[Mapguy]

OP politely did not mention the thread on testosterone which raised considerable interest among TV Chiang Mai members. I must say I don't understand why that thread existed so long on this forum. Is there something in the Chiang Mai water ?!

[caf]

Those who have supported the op are not control freaks wanting to control who uses the forum. Yes, <deleted> - as you aptly put it - have a right to their opinion and no-one has had a problem with that. The op and his supporters ( and I suspect the 859 who have viewed thethread and not posted ) were talking of disparaging and flaming attacking remarks. No-one said people aren't entitled to their views. Read what actually said.

If the OP and his supporters don't like the disparaging and flaming remarks on this forum then they shouldn't post here. As I've said before, this forum is a lot tamer than it was six months ago. Lots of people have left for that reason and some have come on board.

To go back to the excellent public bar analogy, this is a public forum and it's doors are open to everyone. So long as you behave to the standards of the bar owner you're okay.If you're getting a little bit out of order he'll come over and ask you to tone it down. Go too far and you're banned. If the mods on this forum don't remove what you consider to be disparaging and flaming comments then they obviously think they are allowed. There are lots of bars in the world, with different types of customers and managers with varying degrees of tolerance. There are rough bars along the dock road and family bars in the countryside. You decide which sort of bar you want to go in, and of all the bars in all the world, you chose this one.

.

I don't fully agree but I understand your point.

You seem to be looking at it from the (rough pub) "dock road" perspective where flaming and disparaging is rife. There is nothing wrong with those sort of pubs and they are fine for a night out with the boys. A country pub may be appropriate if you're taking the wife out. No reason why you can't frequent both. I know a "rough" pub in London - men only because of the language - but is quite enjoyable and nothing gets out of hand.

The fallacy of your argument is that you are talking about making a choice of pub - either go "rough" or "countryside" but you can of course do both.

But there is only one Thaivisa so the rules which both you and I signed up to need to cater for ALL posters. I would not want to see Thaivisa dumming down to a lower level just to allow flaming. And this is the opening poster's point and he gave examples. We all know that flaming and attacking does occur here

Many have agreed with the op though I wouldn't go so far as saying they are his supporters - that sounds a bit conspiratorial. People are only giving their views.

[sarahsbloke]

The fallacy of your argument is that you are talking about making a choice of pub - either go "rough" or "countryside" but you can of course do both.

But as we are in Thailand, it's more likely to be the "Hello handsome Man" sort of bar, so what can you expect?

Either blatant or undercover .... especially in CM

Edited November 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[cmsally]

It seems to repeatedly be the ladies who claim to be "scared away by the grouchy old men".

I must admit I really don't get it, or maybe I just have really thick skin.

I would say the forum has become way too politically correct recently which is one the reasons I don't post so often. I mean honestly no one comes on a forum with a set of social obligations. If I ask where can I find the best double cheese veggie burger with khao soy topping and someone tells me to go and stick my head in a cow pat; does it really matter?

Just laugh about it, its not that serious.

Too many problems caused (in all sorts of situations) by people wanting reality to conform to their expectations - unfortunately it takes some people a long time to learn it doesn't work that way.

[jdinasia]

It seems to repeatedly be the ladies who claim to be "scared away by the grouchy old men".

I must admit I really don't get it, or maybe I just have really thick skin.

I would say the forum has become way too politically correct recently which is one the reasons I don't post so often. I mean honestly no one comes on a forum with a set of social obligations. If I ask where can I find the best double cheese veggie burger with khao soy topping and someone tells me to go and stick my head in a cow pat; does it really matter?

Just laugh about it, its not that serious.

Too many problems caused (in all sorts of situations) by people wanting reality to conform to their expectations - unfortunately it takes some people a long time to learn it doesn't work that way.

WooooHooooo! It happened! (Sally and I agreed on something!

[orang37]

... I think it's a shame that I have quite a few friends, most of them ladies, who have registered, but mainly lurk, and then others who just won't register because of the old curmudgeony male spirit here.

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun RealThaiDeal,

The "social scientist" in us views this as a statement of correlation: the correlation could be explained by the type of female friends you have/recruit, and the social factors that go into your socializing with those mutually-selecting (hypothetical) females. It also raises the interesting question of what is the difference between the (hypothetical) females you know who register but lurk, and those who do not register. Which also implies that some who register and lurk ... do post ?

The few strong-minded kick-ass human females from TV CM we know certainly don't hold anything back ! We don't know SBK personally, but can only hope one day to taste the delicious sting of her lash.

When we hear someone "diss" TV CM, we usually ... in our tender way ... ask them a few questions: like how many times have they logged in, what were some of the messages they dis-liked, and who wrote them. In almost every case we found that the person "dissing" TV CM had made only the most superficial examination of it, and often with some bias based on some negative comment by some other person. And their memories, of what posts they didn't like, or who wrote them, were approximately "zero."

"Curmudgeony (sic) male spirit:" we'd regard this ... possibly very valid ... statement/conclusion as a judgement, a set of perceptions, an outcome of a hypothesis, but what is that based on ? What does that really mean in terms of actual behavior by males in this forum (we're asking out of genuine curiousity, not to be 'provocative') ? CMSally states a similar category: "grouchy old men." Are we talking about a hypothetical "pervasive" atmosphere in which human females are denigrated openly, or in "sub-text," or, are we talking about some of the truly outrageous male-sexist filth posted here promptly removed by the mods ?

If the few loud, rotten apples keep all the good ones away, then it becomes the rotten apples forum

Since it's so easy to block out messages from anyone loud, let alone rotten, or even from apples out of season, we wonder how this can be possible. It is it possible this is a reflection of those who compulsively read every message, or even those who, perhaps, like to read "loud rotten messages" because they they can "get off" on their own self-righteousness, enjoy an excuse to be angry, or reify their favorite prejudice ... or whatever ? A variation of the old theme that troll-feeders are master-baiters, while trolls are just nasty and hungry ?

In that hypothetical case, isn't the problem the readers' behavior in not exercising their editorial discretion ?

I always find this a great place to learn what to do, where to go, how to get something done in CM. And likewise, when I have a question I get great info in the responses. And then there are the just silly threads and posters, and then the ones I wish weren't there at all. But I look at the sunny side of things and use TV for what I want, and don't pay much heed to those that don't deserve my attention.

Here we are in "brotherly conceptual embrace" Think that's great advice for all TV users !

If you like the idea, but not the current populace, stay on n fight on for the good ! We need all the sane ppl we can get !

Here, too, we're in synch, but we would make two disclaimers: in general it is a waste to respond to trolls by fighting (although, truth to tell, we do keep in mind Bonnie Raitt's immortal words: "Won't you kindly be aware the boy can't help it.").

The second disclaimer would involve your use of the word "sane:" is it possible that "sane expat" is an oxymoron ? Right up there with Reagan's "peacekeeper missile" ?

best, your older, but never wiser, two-in-one-meat-package-brother, ~o:37;

Edited November 22, 2010 by orang37

[Mapguy]

Dear OP,

Taking up Orang's challenge:

Some four years ago when I joined this group, I began with much the same sort of post as you. I, too, had held off getting involved because I was wary of the incivility of several posters. It took what I thought to be a vital Chiang Mai issue (pollution) to get me going.

I've had my ups and downs with folks regarding the pollution issue. Really ticked off some people, but I have muddled through with a Chiang Mai-specific issue. At the same time, I have tried to contribute in other ways, some, I hope, even helpful.

Re CM TV, it is a nicer place nowadays in my view. At the same time, It has never been as nasty as many, many other fora.

Someone above likened CM TV today to romper room. Which romper room? The cheap bar humor romper room or the one for real kiddies? If the former, you don't have to invite them home for dinner.

It is obvious, after fairly long observation, that there are a number of posters who suffer from GOMS. That's Grumpy Old Man Syndrome. And some of them aren't even grumpy old men !!! That is sad, for them. But why should they scare you off? Just tune them out. Or, to misquote Nancy Reagan's classic remark re drug abuse, "Just say BOO!" At least add some different flavor to the posts. You don't have to be a post-menopausal male to post here! Perhaps no one will open doors for you, or stand up when you leave the table, but carry on with a smile! Or smack 'em one. Not with a silly flame. Try Portia's approach in Merchant of Venice! Outwit and outwitisize them! (Never mind Portia's lecture at the end of the play! Things have changed in 400 years!)

Go for it! It'll liven up the place a bit! I am truly getting weary of discussions on testosterone when I thought Chiang Mai water was safe! Or, maybe, we could start a thread on "PMS, Fact or Myth?!

[folium]

While I have no time, respect or interest in sad pajeros with nothing better to do than winge and whine, censorship never works and in many ways an open house forum works far better at showing up said pajeros.

In the UK some people want to ban the BNP (an unpleasant bunch of ignorant Nazis pretending to be politicians), far better to give them as much airtime as possible as they are superb at proving what complete morons they really are.

The internet is brutally transparent in many situations. If you want to post unpleasant, unhelpful, sad posts go ahead and show everyone just what sort of person you are.

[IanForbes]

There might be an explanation for Lara's complaint. A lot of people have been stung by trolls who tell stories of woe they got themselves into. Some stories are true and some are fictitious. It's sometimes hard to determine which is which. The old timers (call them a clique if you want) get a little testy when they've been led along the garden path a few times and after a while they start responding in kind. And, of course, many people are so thin skinned that they can't take any sort of criticism or anyone who disagrees with their point of view.

[caf]

There might be an explanation for Lara's complaint. A lot of people have been stung by trolls who tell stories of woe they got themselves into. Some stories are true and some are fictitious. It's sometimes hard to determine which is which. The old timers (call them a clique if you want) get a little testy when they've been led along the garden path a few times and after a while they start responding in kind. And, of course, many people are so thin skinned that they can't take any sort of criticism or anyone who disagrees with their point of view.

Your comments are usually well thought out but this post surprises me.

You seem to condone old timers getting testy but criticise those who get flamed or receive disparaging remarks as "so thin skinned". It is not a question of having a different opinion from others. It is making flames when someone has the audacity to challenge a clique's view that is the complaint.

[scorecard]

If you walked into a strange bar and instead of finding a couple of like-minded people to chat to you stood on a chair and addressed the whole crowd you wouldn't be surprised if some hecklers, drunks, and <deleted> made disparaging remarks, would you? Well, that's what you're doing on a forum. You're not just chatting with your friends you're talking to everyone in the room. Some will agree with you, some will ignore you and some will give you stick. Just like a bar, if the hecklers get out of control, the bar owner will warn them or ban them - on a forum that is the moderators job. Does it make more sense now?

Exactly. Excellent comparison. Why on earth should anyone expect this forum to be composed of paragons of politeness eager to dispense goodness and mercy to all and sundry? It mostly, with a few notable exceptions, consists of human beings and will unsurprisingly reflect the various vices and virtues of the species.

If it really was "the missing dog thread" that caused the OP's indignant outburst then she/he would have to explain why , having received nine most helpful replies only one of which was "negative" her/his sensitivities were aroused sufficiently to generate such an indignant post.

I won't repeat Hamlet's advice to Ophelia here, that would be ungenerous but I don't think Mother Theresa would have felt at all comfortable consorting with the likes of us even though in my opinion, there really isn't enough bad behaviour to get too upset about.

And I agree with all those who advise ignoring such attacks ; sometimes difficult if directed at oneself but a mature reaction. On the othe hand, I do welcome the OP's post as there's no harm in our being chastised occcaisionaly. How's that for a bit of sanctimonious twaddle? I know what you'e thinking so I got in before you.

1. Nothing wrong with freedom of speech.

2. This is a webboard, the anonymity factor brings out a part of human nature which seems to be dormant when people sit face to face and discuss or comment.

3. Have a look at a few other webboards, you'll quickly find that Thaivisa forum is pretty polite compared too many.

[scorecard]

Hello you northerners!

I usually only post on Phuket Forum as that's where I am, but I've posted on here today due to a travel route request. Noticed your post about negativity etc, etc.

Hey, just want to reassure you that it's just as bad down our neck of the woods. Many doom and gloom merchants, but experts in every field all the same. Thing is, the rest of what i consider to be 'normal' members all know who the cantankerous <deleted> are. It's the same ones who come back with inane and useless comments about nearly every post.

Some people know everything about everything, and some people know everything about nothing.

Will be up Pai & MHS just before Christmas for a holiday, so ensure it's nice and cool for me! Have a 100 baht bet with my wife that I'll never wear a jumper in Thailand. She reckons the 100 baht is as good as in the bag, but I really don't think I'll need it.

Have fun.

I think your wife's on a good bet. There are plenty of days on the tops of some of the mountain peaks where you will be looking for a jacket.

But also depends on how stubborn you are?

[Soulwy]

I am here for information, either to receive or to give. And when certain things really annoy me, I also post it (as I did recently: gentlemen, when you have the 'itch' to post about Thai women, use the right subforum please..!)

Disagreeing adds heat to the topic, but I skip rude, harsh posts of stupid cows.

[F4UCorsair]

I don't spend a lot of time on here, but I agree with the OP about negativity, flaming, etc. I also agree with the poster who noted that if you went into a bar and made your point standing on a chair there would be those who slung some abuse/negativity.

Apart from a few smart ar$es, I don't think most responses are intended to flame or abuse. I think, rather, that it is a lack of skill in English expression.

Perhaps it would be a good idea before we post that we give the topic some thought and also give the best way to respond equal thought.

I do have an ability to skip, ignore and then completely forget, anything that I see as approaching unsavoury for any reason so am not often offended, but I understand completely the OP's sentiments and sensitivity. I think responding to a moronic post is playing ito the moron's hands, giving the post legs, so to speak. He'll just come back with more moronic diatribe.

I frequent a couple of forums, one on music and another on model aircraft. I don't see more than a very, very infrequent negative/flaming post and more often than not it isn't responded to. The consequence of that is that the poster has no prompt to go on with it.

That a minority spoil things for the majority is not a new concept; it's why we have the policing of laws, to reign in the idiots. If everybody was a decent, law abiding citizen, policing of the laws/rules wouldn't be necessary.

Edited November 23, 2010 by F4UCorsair

[WinnieTheKhwai]

The mods do try but it cant be an easy job

Using ignore button means you may lose the jist of the developing thread

And, that doesn't work with posters like me; I sometimes post frivolous claptrap, and sometimes post solid gold when nobody else has the answer..

It depends on the topic, if it's been answered correctly yet by someone else, and how high an OP scores on the <deleted>-o-meter.

[Okertes]

Dear LaraC your post is great and Interesting indeed though a little bit bitter and downer as the negative posts it suppose

to condemn . You are welcome to post some nice and cheerful stories or views I will be happy to read those but I have to say that some amount of negativity is like adding some spice to the stew .

[IanForbes]

There might be an explanation for Lara's complaint. A lot of people have been stung by trolls who tell stories of woe they got themselves into. Some stories are true and some are fictitious. It's sometimes hard to determine which is which. The old timers (call them a clique if you want) get a little testy when they've been led along the garden path a few times and after a while they start responding in kind. And, of course, many people are so thin skinned that they can't take any sort of criticism or anyone who disagrees with their point of view.

Your comments are usually well thought out but this post surprises me.

You seem to condone old timers getting testy but criticise those who get flamed or receive disparaging remarks as "so thin skinned". It is not a question of having a different opinion from others. It is making flames when someone has the audacity to challenge a clique's view that is the complaint.

I'm not condoning people being testy, but I am saying it's understandable on some topics that have been repeated over and over. There is no excuse for flaming of any kind. Only people who don't know how to respond in a classy manner flame others. A flamer actually makes his own argument appear worthless and funny. There 's no need to respond because they've ALREADY made a fool of themselves. And, it's actually quite funny reading silly arguments from silly people. It adds a bit of spice to a forum.

I only get sarcastic when a legitimate question has been asked and a bunch of people start calling the OP a troll. Maybe they are, and maybe they aren't. People tend forget that not everyone came to Thialand 10 years ago. And, not everyone has the same degree of world wide education.

[orang37]

There might be an explanation for Lara's complaint. A lot of people have been stung by trolls who tell stories of woe they got themselves into. Some stories are true and some are fictitious. It's sometimes hard to determine which is which. The old timers (call them a clique if you want) get a little testy when they've been led along the garden path a few times and after a while they start responding in kind. And, of course, many people are so thin skinned that they can't take any sort of criticism or anyone who disagrees with their point of view.

Sawasdee Khrup, Khun Ian,

This interesting remark of yours results in our breaking our vow to "shut up" on this thread (Don't worry, hoi polloi, we already hear your applause exiting the ear opposite the ear it went into

ioho you've pointed out something very important: use of on-line forums is historically "recent:" there's no equivalent books that, like in the 1950's in middle-class America (Emily Post's book on Etiquette), define guidelines for normative behavior in almost every possible social situation: of course, the so-called idea of "netiquette" : Google on 'Netiquette

Is mutating as these bytes travel through the net, assisted by the vast cadres of net talking techno-heads who have nothing better to do than speculate about the next rumor of the next tablet computer from manufacturer "X," and, of course, the ever-self-congratulating "netarati" of such collections of crystal-scryers as the staff of Wired magazine, for whom "computer life" long ago eclipsed "human life," or the visionaries of TED.

We think you've distinguished an important feature of newcomers and newbies on on-line forums, or those who are "socially tentative," possibly shy. A natural feeling of "vulnerability" in new situtations ? A need for "validation" or "stroking:" as what is perceived as a "social risk" is taken ?

And, in contrast, we think, you've pointed to what you might call the "hard carapace" (psychic defenses) which is the polar opposite of the the "thin skin" hypothesis, pointing to a perhaps natural development of cynicism resulting from hanging around, and being put "through the wringer" a few times by clever trolls (are we two, too ?). A natural development of skepticism, and perhaps readiness to "pin the tail on the donkey" without first verifying that biologically it really is a "donkey" ?

The perception of the existence of "cliques" within groups by relative newcomers, is, by the way, very well studied, long before the internet. It seems as natural to us as the distribution of testosterone levels and physical dominance-display characteristics in primate male groups based on status and relationship to "alpha males" (did you think we forgot you, MapGuy ?).

And, you are so right, some people are very "thin-skinned," some people do walk in a room full of people: and while 80% of people in the room may be giving out non-verbal signals of welcome and friendliness, they focus on the 20% who are not, or the one or two who are actually "scowling." Ahhh ... temperament. Now you could explain away the tendency to notice "bad vibes" immediately, with little conscious thought involved, as being part of our exquisite older nervous system's "threat recognition" system, but the extent to which one then acts upon the almost subliminal impressions and, on higher cognitive levels, then "creates" a perceived gestalt of social reality ... well, that's to do with the individual ?

Wouldn't it be interesting (don't think it will ever happen, though), to see a message from someone who posted, and feels "dissed" or "slighted" of the form:

You know, my feelings are really hurt right now; I said something, proposed something, gave an opinion on something, I felt was important to me, and I feel like it was ignored, and even made fun of

.

Perhaps it's our too thick hide that imagines the refreshing vulnerability of such a directly truthful statement as being like a dinner-bell for trolls and sadists to crawl out from under their bridges, or come out of their closets ?

Here's an idea: ThaiVisa automatically inserts, in huge red (Lady Gaga's shade of the month ?) letters, at the start of all messages from those witih fewer than ten posts: "It's my first time, please be gentle."

Or, for people with more than xxx ? posts, in huge black letters (High-German Black Letter Gothic type ?): "Warning this post may be satirical, grumpy, cruel, sarcastic, or just random spew."

While we read that vinegar is good for box-jelly stings, we feel it most probable that immunity/relief to/from troll stings does come from learning to ignore them.

So, thanks for your good observations, and the interesting trails they led our minds down.

By the way, we hate whiners.

best, ~o:37;

Edited November 23, 2010 by orang37

[personchester]

OP...You have to bear in mind that all the various forums "here" are similar to debating chambers thus any postings (like in talks) do have both positive and negative responses,and one wonders why that should surprise you, since it would be unnatural and rather odd to except all forum members to agree with the contents of all the various postings that appear here, fortunately that is not the case since, if that was be the case, it would indeed be rather boring.

Besides, why worry, your comment that ... >Life in Chiang Mai is so beautiful ... all I can do is smile< ... is reflective of your lifestyle mentality, which is indicative of the fact that whatever happens in your daily life appears to be positive, and therefore will be met with a smile.

[Ulysses G.]

Personally, I strongly suspect that this thread was started by one of the very posters that it is complaining about. It would not be the first time.

Edited November 26, 2010 by Ulysses G.

[caf]

Personally, I strongly suspect that this thread was started by one of the very posters that it is complaining about. It would not be the first time.

I don't think you're right, Ulysses. Why are you so suspicious of the op. I don't know him and neither do you.

It's the flaming and bitchiness that posters don't like. No one objects to debate, listening to other points of view or information posts.

[Ulysses G.]

I have a rather large British friend who refuses to walk on the street and just walks straight into them until they move, They are not hostile about it, but I rather just go around them, personally.

Very admirable that you step off the sidewalk and into the street to get round them.

But does not that stop traffic in both directions.

You mean insulting posts like this one?

[caf]

I have a rather large British friend who refuses to walk on the street and just walks straight into them until they move, They are not hostile about it, but I rather just go around them, personally.

Very admirable that you step off the sidewalk and into the street to get round them.

But does not that stop traffic in both directions.

You mean insulting posts like this one?

I make exceptions for posters with reputations like yours. No sense of humour, a feeling you are oh so always right, and a show off style.

[jmdf103]

what do people mean when they talk about members being on tv, i dont understand thanks.

I'm with you.

The number of my posts and the time I have been a member gives a clue. Sadly with so many members on TV the dross seem to scare away those who would really want to contribute.

That said, plenty of good info if you want to sift away, and a lot of good people.You really don't need to contribute if that's how you feel.But hopefully if you have something that may be of interest or of benefit to others do post it.

There is always the "ignore' button for those that deserve it.