Help For Aids Patient

[Senia]

About 7 years ago my hubby's cousin was diagnosed with HIV, he did nothing about it. He was a heroin addict. Only late last year when his condition seriously worsened that he sought medical help.

Only last week did he inform us that he has AIDS, we have been paying his hospital bills and driving him for treatment on a weekly/bi-weekly basis, for the past 3 months since coming back to Bangkok. This is the third hospital change in as many months, yesterday, my hubby and I (after yet another trip to the hospital) decided to google his meds, only to discover that the medicine he is taking is only for his ailments..... like his constipation and stomach- aches, not for AIDS itself. Why is that ? Is it possible that he is lying to us?

Is it too late? Cost is also a real issue here, I am having a baby in March,.how long will this go on? we dun want him to die like this.

We desperately need a cheap and hopefully long term solution for this. He is convinced that he is dying after all this. ( His brother died 10 years ago, also from AIDS from drug use ). Is there some clinic/hospital that will treat the disease this late? Is there medication that he can take to at least control the situation? His mother takes care of him at home but we pay his hospital bills and drive him there. He eats normally, no special diet or anything like that, but it's obvious that he is in pain every time he walks.

[tim armstrong]

Hi Senia,

It seems there are several possibilities. With his agreement I would go to a reputable private hospital and have all the details checked out, including HIV and/or other tests, unless there are already medical records. But I'm unclear why he would be lying, unless its to get other people to pay for his treatments, or he is abusing the drugs in some way.You or someone else needs to go with him to see the doctor and ASK THE DOCTOR whats going on. If you are paying the bills then you need to know the truth. In 2011 some HIV patients can live long lives with newer treatments that are now available. Actual HIV treatment will depend on what stage he is at, and which body systems are being affected. But for sure you don't need extra stress at present.

[Senia]

Hi Tim

my hubby took him to the red cross yesterday, in a way he did lie to us, he has meds for HIV, but I guess out of habit or denial he has not been taking those meds, most likely is because of the side effects. They prescribed the very same medicine that he already has.

My hubby did exactly what you suggested, get his medical records and went through them with the doctor, it was the common-sense thing to do anyways. I guess my hubby didn't want to pry too much before.

It is AIDS now, no longer HIV, that we now know for sure but we are not giving up on him, we will be seeing him every other day even when he is not going to the hospital, and try to talk some sense into him . To not give up on himself.

I was so surprised to learn that AIDS really is the number 1 cause of death in Thailand !!!!! He like many others I am sure just assumed that he got a death sentence when he found out, and just "gave up" . We have printed information on the disease for him to further understand his condition.

He had an operation some time last year to remove part of his bladder, that we don't really know why, but his lower torso is still causing him pain daily , that's why he takes meds for the pain.

As for us, yes, looks like we will be permanantly footing his medical bills, him and his mother have already sold their home but thankfully the new homeowner is letting them live there indefinately, they get some small allowance from his two living siblings and then we cover the rest.

Now, I just hope that the pain he is in stops and things will stabilise, more regular hospital visits and less of us having to physically be there for them.

[Sheryl]

3 points:

1. If he is a Thai national he can receive treatment and medication free of charge at government hospital, there is no need for you to be footing the bill.

2. If he does not agree to take the anti-retrovirals (and do so), other treatments are frankly a waste of money. Even if effective in resolving one opportunistic infection, he'll quickly get another...and another. These infections do need to be aggressively treated, don't misunderstand me on that, but only if he is prepared to adhere to the ARV therapy...and that is a lifetime commitment.

3. You need to look into whether he has active TB as a very high percentage of people with full-blown AIDs -- especially those from SE Asia -- will. If he does and if it has not been treated (and if he refuses to comply with ART one has to doubt his compliance with TB tx) he may be infectious and this could be a risk to you and your family. His HIV is no threat to you, but TB could be. So do look into that.

While there are many, many Thais living successfully with HIV on ART treatment, it does unfortunately still happen that some people -- especially those with lower levels of education -- still hold the out-dated belief that it is inevitably fatal and fail to avail themselves of the drugs which would make it possible for them to not only survive but regain health and productivity.

See this thread, which was a similiar situation which unfortunately ended badly. And please take note of the HIV self-help group contact info in it as the best chance for this person is through contact with other HIV positive people who can tell him from their own experience that the drugs work.

there is frankly no point in the other treatment as he will die regardless.

[Senia]

3 points:

1. If he is a Thai national he can receive treatment and medication free of charge at government hospital, there is no need for you to be footing the bill.

2. If he does not agree to take the anti-retrovirals (and do so), other treatments are frankly a waste of money. Even if effective in resolving one opportunistic infection, he'll quickly get another...and another. These infections do need to be aggressively treated, don't misunderstand me on that, but only if he is prepared to adhere to the ARV therapy...and that is a lifetime commitment.

3. You need to look into whether he has active TB as a very high percentage of people with full-blown AIDs -- especially those from SE Asia -- will. If he does and if it has not been treated (and if he refuses to comply with ART one has to doubt his compliance with TB tx) he may be infectious and this could be a risk to you and your family. His HIV is no threat to you, but TB could be. So do look into that.

While there are many, many Thais living successfully with HIV on ART treatment, it does unfortunately still happen that some people -- especially those with lower levels of education -- still hold the out-dated belief that it is inevitably fatal and fail to avail themselves of the drugs which would make it possible for them to not only survive but regain health and productivity.

See this thread, which was a similiar situation which unfortunately ended badly. And please take note of the HIV self-help group contact info in it as the best chance for this person is through contact with other HIV positive people who can tell him from their own experience that the drugs work.

http://www.thaivisa...._1#entry4094009

there is frankly no point in the other treatment as he will die regardless.

Thank You so so much Sheryl,

1. We had to pay when he went to private hospital, we are now going to government hospital, it's free.

2. His mother is now keeping an eye on him, making sure that he's taking his meds. ( which she should have done a whole lot sooner but she "assumed" that he was going to die like his brother )

2.1. We call him daily now, in the thread there were links for him to talk to other patients, which helped a whole lot, besides his mother and us, nobody really wants to go near him ( even the few friends that we have refuse to go out with us if he was coming )

3. No TB thankfully, they apparently did a test for TB when the pain started .

Moving him to the Red Cross Clinic was a great move, he likes they was they "handled" his case. Also I am getting my wish, his hospital visits are no longer erratic ( when he "feels pain" ), stronger pain killers and monthly visits.

SO far so good. I am keeping my fingers crossed.

Also contemplating on putting him on that weight gain suggestion from Seeker :

"Sodium chlorite with a little citric acid. He started gaining weight back and after only 5 months is back to work. doctors are amazed and said "its like he never had it" What he took was 28% sodium chlorite mixed with 10% citric acid."

will run it by the doctors first .

[Ijustwannateach]

Just wanted to add here that the addiction itself is a sign of self-destructive tendencies which may also be tending to interfere unconsciously with his motivation to fight the disease. You can't do it all for him- this is one of the reasons that addicts in a family are so heart-breaking- and he will have to make the decision himself, ultimately, to strive to live or not. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn't support his more positive & self-caring efforts, but be careful not to let him foist off his own responsibility for caring for himself on to you guys (along with all the expense). That just means that when you finally do decide it's time for you to set more boundaries, he'll simply head back down. It's tough love, but necessary for him and for you folks.

[Sheryl]

The "28% sodium chlorite mixed with 10% citric acid" is a quack remedy claimed (falsely) to cure HIV and just about everything else. Useless as I am sure the doctor will tell you.Th

The antiretriviral drugs will, with time, restore his health and he'll gain back weight.

In the meantime, there is a medication called Megace which is used to stimulate appetite in people with AIDs, cancer etc. It is frequently effective. Comes in both tablet and suspension form. It is prescrioption only so need to ask doctor.

[Senia]

ok

latest update: I haven't seen him for the last two weeks and neither has my hubby though my hubby calls him alot ( I can't speak Thai ) .

He is on a downward spiral again, not motivated at all, sees himself as a burden to his mother , but he is all she's got, her other kids have their own families.

keeps talking about death and dying, and my idiot hubby is actually agreeing with him argh !!! Hubby has given up too , I dun know for sure he won't tell me. He knows where I stand in all of this. Must be his idiot friends who keep advising him on staying away , think of the baby and business etc.

ijustwannateach - tough love ? NO , I would rather treat him like regular people. No way special or different . Things would be great for him if everybody did just that !!!!! and not like some leper