Hal65 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 (edited) - From your experiences & observations, do marriages between Thais & foreigners tend to work out well for the long term, or end in divorce? - If there's not a strong trend ether way, so you notice any commonalities from the marriages that stay in tact? Edited January 28, 2011 by Delta223 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mishathebear Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bkkjames Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mario2008 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Intercultural marriages have a higher rate of ending in failure, because of the cultural differences which causes misunderstandings. It is important to have eye for each other different cultures and respect that. Also language can sometimes be a problem and a cause of confusion and misunderstanding. How you handle that together is an important factor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mishathebear Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gravion Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 yeah i see marriage as risky stuff... but in my opinion if u and wife is also working, u get 2 incomes right? also the double bonuses.... 20K for 3 months and 30K for 3 months bonus, that would be like 150K per year... i see a lot of these with thai couples. but i know some that are not happy as well.... maybe tired with their ugly faces and attitudes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Wow, this is one guy who gets it. Agree 100%. There are always exceptions (which I'm sure TV members are keen to bring up), but if I had to give one piece of advice to a newbie regarding which Thai women to avoid, it'd be those that can speak English. Which of course means that you need to be able to speak Thai. Flame away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hal65 Posted January 28, 2011 Author Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not in the market & hope this thread won't degenerate into opinions of marriage. Just curious what people have actually seen or experienced first hand Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark45y Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. It is not rocket science to say that inter cultural marriages are more difficult. Add that to the normal failure rate for marriage and you probably have a 1 in 10 chance of success. The come out roll of a new shooter at the craps table is in the area of 50% if I remember correctly. If you went in a room with ten women and were told by a doctor that 9 had AIDS would you sleep with any of the women without a condom? Even if the doctor said only 5 out of 10 women had AIDS? Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single. It is not always going to be that way. The Feminists will eventually win and force you to get married for sex but in the meantime why oh why would any rational man get married? Build a house and give it to a woman you don't like. Save yourself some time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mishathebear Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. It is not rocket science to say that inter cultural marriages are more difficult. Add that to the normal failure rate for marriage and you probably have a 1 in 10 chance of success. The come out roll of a new shooter at the craps table is in the area of 50% if I remember correctly. If you went in a room with ten women and were told by a doctor that 9 had AIDS would you sleep with any of the women without a condom? Even if the doctor said only 5 out of 10 women had AIDS? Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single. It is not always going to be that way. The Feminists will eventually win and force you to get married for sex but in the meantime why oh why would any rational man get married? Build a house and give it to a woman you don't like. Save yourself some time. What do you mean by "Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single"? Secondly lots of married men in the West are unhappily married and their wives deprive them of sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wamberal Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 The question is so general as to be almost meaningless. However, I will make a couple of observations. Firstly, as another poster has said, cross-cultural relationships are probably going to be more difficult to maintain than relationships between people from similar cultural backgrounds. Secondly, the opportunity for misunderstandings does increase if one party (or both) does not make a sincere attempt to respect the other's cultural values and beliefs (without necessarily agreeing with them). Thirdly, it helps if you have friends in common before making a marriage commitment - if you do not have some common relationships, it is much more difficult to find the right person (or at least one who is "right" enough for you, and you for them). It also helps to understand Thai culture, and of course a good knowledge of each other's language must help enormously. In my case, my wife speaks reasonably good English, and I worked for some years in Thailand, and Hong Kong, which has helped me to understand where she is coming from (and going to). We were introduced by mutual friends, have been happily married for more than ten years, not without occasional squalls and tempests (about once a week!) but on the whole we have a wonderful relationship and I certainly cannot imagine marrying anybody else. The fact that she is Thai is incidental, by the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samran Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 The Feminists will eventually win and force you to get married for sex I think personal grooming, bathing occasionally and losing that beer belly will help to make sure that can be avoided. Personality helps too, though not a pre-requisite. Seriously though, I married a Kiwi. Cultural clashes abound. Wallabies vs All Blacks Esky vs Chilly Bin (sorry Chully Bun) Shack vs Batch Six vs Sex Crap cricket team vs crap cricket team Resentment for foistering Russel Crowe upon us. Oh, the misunderstandings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samran Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Fortunately, from what I've seen, the men they marry are social morons. They deserve each other really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balhamred Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will also think you are on a plane above the rest of the farang immigrants too! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mishathebear Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will also think you are on a plane above the rest of the farang immigrants too! No it does not, but it does give you alot of advantages when dealing with Thai women. Especially you will understand what the women are taling behing you. Ever wonder why Thai tourists are not well liked in Pattaya? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark45y Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. It is not rocket science to say that inter cultural marriages are more difficult. Add that to the normal failure rate for marriage and you probably have a 1 in 10 chance of success. The come out roll of a new shooter at the craps table is in the area of 50% if I remember correctly. If you went in a room with ten women and were told by a doctor that 9 had AIDS would you sleep with any of the women without a condom? Even if the doctor said only 5 out of 10 women had AIDS? Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single. It is not always going to be that way. The Feminists will eventually win and force you to get married for sex but in the meantime why oh why would any rational man get married? Build a house and give it to a woman you don't like. Save yourself some time. What do you mean by "Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single"? Secondly lots of married men in the West are unhappily married and their wives deprive them of sex. I think you misunderstood me. I said single men don't have to put up with sexual frustration in Thailand as in the West. I think the ladies in the West think sex is a reward for getting married. In Thailand sex is a reward for staying single. (All the usual disclaimers except for the married posters on TV and so on........). My Thai GF is coming back tomorrow and in her absence I have been enjoying a relaxing time. Now I am going to get attacked daily because I am not married yet. I am sure this behavior would change the moment a monk tied the string. I realize lots of married men are deprived of sex within the marriage in the West. In Thailand too. Although it is rather a meaningless gesture in Thailand and more cause for celebration than depression. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark45y Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not in the market & hope this thread won't degenerate into opinions of marriage. Just curious what people have actually seen or experienced first hand That's easy to answer. All the posters on Thai Visa have married wealthy educated Thai women who are gainfully employed in a reputable business and contribute financially to the marriage. The off shore workers that are married to Thai women think their wife is 100% faithful and are supremely happy. The old retired tourists marry bar girls and get taken for all of their money and return home in disgrace. That takes care of 99%. One guy bought his wife a beauty shop in Bangkok and appears to be happy. A couple of farmers are still farming as wifey has not lowered the boom yet and the rest are single. I hope you don't think the simple act of remaining single is a criticism of marriage. Staying single is simply a rational act based on the odds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Wow, this is one guy who gets it. Agree 100%. There are always exceptions (which I'm sure TV members are keen to bring up), but if I had to give one piece of advice to a newbie regarding which Thai women to avoid, it'd be those that can speak English. Which of course means that you need to be able to speak Thai. Flame away. Agree 100% about speaking Thai purely for the reason that you will have so many more women too choose from. What I don't agree with is when people come out with these sweeping statements to avoid all women who speak English. I can see why someone would say this but you have to be more specific and say avoid women who speak English in certain areas or professions. In Bangkok anyway ( not all of Thailand I know ) there are loads of women , professional people with good jobs who can speak English very well, never been anywhere near a bar and who would consider dating a foreigner. IMO for a relationship to work both parties should speak each others language fairly well and one of then should speak the others's language very well just so that when serious stuff came up there would be no misundersatndings and everyone knows where they stand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Unique to Thai women? Seriously though OP, if it's 51% say marriages work out and 49% say marriages end in failure, that will sway your decision? Don't get married would be my advise. It is not rocket science to say that inter cultural marriages are more difficult. Add that to the normal failure rate for marriage and you probably have a 1 in 10 chance of success. The come out roll of a new shooter at the craps table is in the area of 50% if I remember correctly. If you went in a room with ten women and were told by a doctor that 9 had AIDS would you sleep with any of the women without a condom? Even if the doctor said only 5 out of 10 women had AIDS? Thailand is one of the few countries left in the world where men don't have to put up with sexual frustration being single. It is not always going to be that way. The Feminists will eventually win and force you to get married for sex but in the meantime why oh why would any rational man get married? Build a house and give it to a woman you don't like. Save yourself some time. Who said anything about giving a house away, you can always get a usurfruct. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 My advice is to be very cautious. Thai women that marry farangs are in many cases goldiggers. Fortunately, from what I've seen, the men they marry are social morons. They deserve each other really. You haven't seen very much then have you, You should try getting out more. More sweeping statements. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not in the market & hope this thread won't degenerate into opinions of marriage. Just curious what people have actually seen or experienced first hand That's easy to answer. All the posters on Thai Visa have married wealthy educated Thai women who are gainfully employed in a reputable business and contribute financially to the marriage. The off shore workers that are married to Thai women think their wife is 100% faithful and are supremely happy. The old retired tourists marry bar girls and get taken for all of their money and return home in disgrace. That takes care of 99%. One guy bought his wife a beauty shop in Bangkok and appears to be happy. A couple of farmers are still farming as wifey has not lowered the boom yet and the rest are single. I hope you don't think the simple act of remaining single is a criticism of marriage. Staying single is simply a rational act based on the odds. So why did you get married three times then ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
balhamred Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Being able to speak thai helps you understand more about your partner and the culture. however, to anyone inferring that thai would be the main form of communication it is fairly bizarre. unless you have been learning hard for 20-30 years and have a natural ability with learning languages, the level of conversation would always be fairly basic. there is more to speaking a language than having knowledge of most of the words within it. what about all the nuances, implied meanings, expressions and phrases? without common knowledge of such things you will never be able to communicate 100% of your thoughts, emotions and humour with your 'life partner' and it is a sad day when someone settles for such a situation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mstribling Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Being able to speak thai helps you understand more about your partner and the culture. however, to anyone inferring that thai would be the main form of communication it is fairly bizarre. unless you have been learning hard for 20-30 years and have a natural ability with learning languages, the level of conversation would always be fairly basic. there is more to speaking a language than having knowledge of most of the words within it. what about all the nuances, implied meanings, expressions and phrases? without common knowledge of such things you will never be able to communicate 100% of your thoughts, emotions and humour with your 'life partner' and it is a sad day when someone settles for such a situation. Speaking Thai is fairly easy. Understanding Thai is another story. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark45y Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not in the market & hope this thread won't degenerate into opinions of marriage. Just curious what people have actually seen or experienced first hand That's easy to answer. All the posters on Thai Visa have married wealthy educated Thai women who are gainfully employed in a reputable business and contribute financially to the marriage. The off shore workers that are married to Thai women think their wife is 100% faithful and are supremely happy. The old retired tourists marry bar girls and get taken for all of their money and return home in disgrace. That takes care of 99%. One guy bought his wife a beauty shop in Bangkok and appears to be happy. A couple of farmers are still farming as wifey has not lowered the boom yet and the rest are single. I hope you don't think the simple act of remaining single is a criticism of marriage. Staying single is simply a rational act based on the odds. So why did you get married three times then ? Shotguns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mstribling Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm sure this will make for an interesting thread. On the first page still and the insults abound. OP: Like was mentioned before, I think, IMO, that if you don't get involved with a deceitful bitch, and your not a self-rightous prick, you stand a 49/51% chance. The word on the street is marriage is tough. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Being able to speak thai helps you understand more about your partner and the culture. however, to anyone inferring that thai would be the main form of communication it is fairly bizarre. unless you have been learning hard for 20-30 years and have a natural ability with learning languages, the level of conversation would always be fairly basic. there is more to speaking a language than having knowledge of most of the words within it. what about all the nuances, implied meanings, expressions and phrases? without common knowledge of such things you will never be able to communicate 100% of your thoughts, emotions and humour with your 'life partner' and it is a sad day when someone settles for such a situation. Does that work both ways then ? Does a Thai need to study English for 20-30 years and have a natural ability with languages ? I agree that knowledge of a language comes from experience of living in that language but to say that it takes 20-30 years is ridiculous. On what basis or experience do you say this ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm not in the market & hope this thread won't degenerate into opinions of marriage. Just curious what people have actually seen or experienced first hand That's easy to answer. All the posters on Thai Visa have married wealthy educated Thai women who are gainfully employed in a reputable business and contribute financially to the marriage. The off shore workers that are married to Thai women think their wife is 100% faithful and are supremely happy. The old retired tourists marry bar girls and get taken for all of their money and return home in disgrace. That takes care of 99%. One guy bought his wife a beauty shop in Bangkok and appears to be happy. A couple of farmers are still farming as wifey has not lowered the boom yet and the rest are single. I hope you don't think the simple act of remaining single is a criticism of marriage. Staying single is simply a rational act based on the odds. So why did you get married three times then ? Shotguns. Wear a party hat and there won't be a fourth ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 Chances are that if you speak Thai that you will find a better woman that is not a gold digger. Wow, this is one guy who gets it. Agree 100%. There are always exceptions (which I'm sure TV members are keen to bring up), but if I had to give one piece of advice to a newbie regarding which Thai women to avoid, it'd be those that can speak English. Which of course means that you need to be able to speak Thai. Flame away. Agree 100% about speaking Thai purely for the reason that you will have so many more women too choose from. What I don't agree with is when people come out with these sweeping statements to avoid all women who speak English. I can see why someone would say this but you have to be more specific and say avoid women who speak English in certain areas or professions. In Bangkok anyway ( not all of Thailand I know ) there are loads of women , professional people with good jobs who can speak English very well, never been anywhere near a bar and who would consider dating a foreigner. IMO for a relationship to work both parties should speak each others language fairly well and one of then should speak the others's language very well just so that when serious stuff came up there would be no misundersatndings and everyone knows where they stand. It's the percentages, my friend. You are right, of course, regarding making sweeping statements. I'm sure you'll agree that there are many bargirls who are wonderful human beings and may not have a dishonest bone in their bodies. But would you recommend BGs for a wife? Of course not. There are simply too many who are on the take. Same with English speaking Thai women. Surely there are plenty who are not gold-diggers. But there are also plenty who are serial farang-hunters. Much more so than the average Thai girl who can't speak a lick of English. You're absolutely correct when you say that those who can speak Thai "will have so many more women to choose from." I'll further add that if you speak Thai, you will have so many more good/normal Thai women to choose from. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bermondburi Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 I'm sure this will make for an interesting thread. On the first page still and the insults abound. OP: Like was mentioned before, I think, IMO, that if you don't get involved with a deceitful bitch, and your not a self-rightous prick, you stand a 49/51% chance. The word on the street is marriage is tough. Agree with you there. Choose the right bird to start with, try not to be a cun_t and has been said before it might work out or it might not. Get rich quick or die trying ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Travel2003 Posted January 28, 2011 Share Posted January 28, 2011 From my own experiences & observations, they all end well. At least so far so good for me and the other few I know of. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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