Thailand4life Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Hi, my friend broke up with his girlfriend again and she basically just told him that she is about to kill herself. That pretty much sounds like a joke now, but she had two failed suicide attempts in the past year. First time, she ate a bunch of sleeping pills and my friend got her to throw up. The next time she cut up her arms and ended up in the ER. Im pretty confident that she is not just spitting out some words here and its kinda a serious situation, but what is my mate supposed to do now? They live together and he is about to move out, but she said something along the lines like "What ever happends, please send money to my mom every month". It surely is a cry for a help an a (lame) attempt to keep my friend in the house, but he is not the type of person that just leaves now and moves on with his life. Anyone been in a situation like this before? Is there an Emergency Service to call to get her taken care of? Please advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JurgenG Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 An advise ? walk away, there are people you just can't help. If you really want to make a difference in this world, join the Peace Corps or Doctor Without Borders, but don't waste your time with people you can't help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gotlost Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 No emergency service for this. Agree withe above post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 An advise ? walk away, there are people you just can't help. If you really want to make a difference in this world, join the Peace Corps or Doctor Without Borders, but don't waste your time with people you can't help. +1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JusMe Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't walk away RUN !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ukrules Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Maybe you could try and have her committed to some kind of mental health facility, I don't have any information about these places although I know they do exist in Thailand, maybe check the Health forum. I would say he should make it very clear that if she does kill herself he will not be sending any money to her mother, that might make her change her mind as she still has some sense of obligation to her family, however misguided that might be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onnut Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Stay away! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 but she had two failed suicide attempts in the past year. She does this for attention seeking and blackmail. Not uncommon behaviour for women. It is not serious. Probably borderliner. Men should avoid such women at all costs. Your friend should run and not look behind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mallyrd Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 but she had two failed suicide attempts in the past year. She does this for attention seeking and blackmail. Not uncommon behaviour for women. It is not serious. Probably borderliner. Men should avoid such women at all costs. Your friend should run and not look behind. Agreed 100%. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chachachacha Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 I have heard that the temples are the place where the Thais take people that are suffering from any Mental health issues . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
needforspeed Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Some basic advice, next time if your friend breaks up again with his GF who has at that time three failed suicide attempts. Move out before telling her to break up for the fours time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 (edited) OP - Why are you posting this in behalf of "your friend" Edit. Should it be on behalf of? Edited March 6, 2011 by Semper Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mallyrd Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 OP - Why are you posting this in behalf of "your friend" Because his friend is call ed 'OP'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimbeam1 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Maybe you could try and have her committed to some kind of mental health facility, I don't have any information about these places although I know they do exist in Thailand, maybe check the Health forum. I would say he should make it very clear that if she does kill herself he will not be sending any money to her mother, that might make her change her mind as she still has some sense of obligation to her family, however misguided that might be. As above.... Then Run. By the way self harming is very common in Thailand. jb1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gburns57au Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 So he runs away on the advice given here and she succeeds in doing herself in.....I bet that would make him feel real good, How about you guys? How would you feel. There are places they can go to......As suggested and in rural areas, the temple is a good start. In the city areas there are help centres but a local hospital could be a starting point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 (edited) This is no such thing as an attempted suicide. If someone is serious about killing themselves they will do it. The woman's actions seem more of a ruse in order to get her own way or perhaps just a cry for help. The please keep sending the money part sounds about right. Is there a price tag on whether she will top herself or not? I've heard this all before. The ex girlfriend appears like a real fruitcake anyway and your friend would be best advised to just walk away and let her family deal with it. If the friut does decide to end it all that`s her choice, no fault of anyone else. The only options is that your friend either stays with her or leaves, full stop. Only he has the ability to sort out his domestic problems, not his friends. Best not to become involved with other peoples problems and let them get on with it. Edited March 6, 2011 by Beetlejuice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shotime Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 If you really believe she will kill hereslf, and feel you will carry this guilt with you, here's an idea. Tell her you won't break up with her, and then do everything you can to make her hate you. Stop talking to her. Act as if she's not there. No sex or intimacy. Make her understand you're very unhappy with the situation. Stay out at night, and lie to her about everything. They don't have to be good lies. Just make her understand you don't care if she believes you or not. Of course, this can have the reverse effect, and she'll fall deeper in love with you. In that case, you can smother her with affection. Don't let het out of your sight. Be a constant pain in her ass. Don't let her go out with her friends. Act as if you think she has a BF, and is sneaking around on her. Embarass her in front of friends and family. Accuse her of everything that will make her lose face. Of course, then you may wind up getting killed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Its a last ditch attempt to emotionally black mail you , Walk away with a clear conscience, Many Thai Lady's and girls kill themselves over failed relationships wether they are involved with a foreigner or Thai , If it was not you that was being blackmailer it would be some one Else, The same old story , You always realize what you had when its gone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 There are some good replies here, and including the ones where you just have to leave. There is no helping someone if you are close to them. They need PROFESSIONAL help. It is a common occurance all around the world. Unfortunately, there isn't the professional help here in Thailand for those that can not pay. good luck to the OP's friend. People with psychological problems are very common in Thailand and there isn't much help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
remiss Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Move out & change phone number. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Contact one or more of her female friends and possibly a member of her family to come and stay with her. The boy friend needs to leave and make a clean break. She's already had a couple of attempts and whether it's just blackmail or not, she may just end up really hurting herself. Suicide is difficult for the survivors and should she succeed, your friend will carry a great burden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Ignore all these dipshits with serious karma deficiencies and their advice for your mate to walk or run away. Get your buddy to hook up with these people and hope that something can be done for the poor girl. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Please read these two intelligent and compassionate comments again, and again, and again if you do not immediately understand. So he runs away on the advice given here and she succeeds in doing herself in.....I bet that would make him feel real good, How about you guys? How would you feel. There are places they can go to......As suggested and in rural areas, the temple is a good start. In the city areas there are help centres but a local hospital could be a starting point. Contact one or more of her female friends and possibly a member of her family to come and stay with her. The boy friend needs to leave and make a clean break. She's already had a couple of attempts and whether it's just blackmail or not, she may just end up really hurting herself. Suicide is difficult for the survivors and should she succeed, your friend will carry a great burden. If your friend has not cut all the ties yet, he demonstrates a character that puts him at risk of survivor's guit. He must therefore do all he can to ensure he does not become infected. Follow the advice in the two posts. Aside from perhaps saving a life, he will also preserve his own peace of mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MSingh Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Advice = Get away from her as soon as possible, she sounds incredibly unhinged.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Please read these two intelligent and compassionate comments again, and again, and again if you do not immediately understand. So he runs away on the advice given here and she succeeds in doing herself in.....I bet that would make him feel real good, How about you guys? How would you feel. There are places they can go to......As suggested and in rural areas, the temple is a good start. In the city areas there are help centres but a local hospital could be a starting point. Contact one or more of her female friends and possibly a member of her family to come and stay with her. The boy friend needs to leave and make a clean break. She's already had a couple of attempts and whether it's just blackmail or not, she may just end up really hurting herself. Suicide is difficult for the survivors and should she succeed, your friend will carry a great burden. If your friend has not cut all the ties yet, he demonstrates a character that puts him at risk of survivor's guit. He must therefore do all he can to ensure he does not become infected. Follow the advice in the two posts. Aside from perhaps saving a life, he will also preserve his own peace of mind. Absolutely agree, I'd feel terrible if a girl I'd left hurt, or killed herself. Yes, it's a cry for help. Yes, he probably should dis-entangle himself from this girl but not just walk out the door and leave her to her own devices! Well, I couldn't anyway. If the OP can speak some Thai, if the girls friends can not get involved, go to a Wat and ask a monk to come and make sure she's ok, get him to contact her family. Don't just walk out, you'd never forgive yourself if the worst happened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't just walk out, you'd never forgive yourself if the worst happened. She will not do it. These borderliners want to make others feel guilty. "It's not my fault, it is yours". Typical attitude to "punish" someone while being totally irresponsible in every means. Yes, it is a good idea to inform her best girlfriend, brother or whoever that you are going to walk out and that they should have a look at her. That's all you can do. Then walk, walk fast and don't look back. You are NOT responsible whatever happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Google the Samaritans for their Bangkok number They run a suicide hotline. Staff are Thai and while not professional psychologist , they have been given training for basic cases and will be able to provide referrals to those that are deemed more serious Beetlejuice - many have died because people around them failed to take notice of their suicidal attempts. Some cases it's happened when after several attempts friends and families stop taking their attempts seriously. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't just walk out, you'd never forgive yourself if the worst happened. She will not do it. These borderliners want to make others feel guilty. "It's not my fault, it is yours". Typical attitude to "punish" someone while being totally irresponsible in every means. Yes, it is a good idea to inform her best girlfriend, brother or whoever that you are going to walk out and that they should have a look at her. That's all you can do. Then walk, walk fast and don't look back. You are NOT responsible whatever happens. Yeah I know, it's unlikely to happen and that's what they want you to do, it's a desperate attempt at hanging on to the relationship. It's all very well to tell yourself it wasn't your fault but, harder to actually live with. My advice still remains, get her some help, make sure she's ok ie. in the care of another, then leave and cut all ties. She might be a nutter, but you don't want to think of a nutter doing herself in over you do you? Not nice! tam dee dai dee Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chooch7 Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 just let her be and if she kills herself send momma monthly money-the least you could do under trying circumstances . that or run forrest run! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gburns57au Posted March 6, 2011 Share Posted March 6, 2011 Don't just walk out, you'd never forgive yourself if the worst happened. She will not do it. These borderliners want to make others feel guilty. "It's not my fault, it is yours". Typical attitude to "punish" someone while being totally irresponsible in every means. Yes, it is a good idea to inform her best girlfriend, brother or whoever that you are going to walk out and that they should have a look at her. That's all you can do. Then walk, walk fast and don't look back. You are NOT responsible whatever happens. I wonder how many call for help attempts become real suicides because something went wrong. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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