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Posted

Losing Weight the Fun Way

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It has been known for many years that sex is good exercise, but until recently nobody had made a scientific study of the calorific value of different sexual activities. Now after original and proprietary research they are proud to present the results.

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent....................... 12 Calories

Without her consent.................... 187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands........................ 8 Calories

With one hand.......................... 12 Calories

With your teeth........................ 85 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection....................... 6 Calories

Without an erection.................... 315 Calories

FOREPLAY:

Trying to find the clitoris............ 8 Calories

Trying to find the G-Spot.............. 92 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary............................. 12 Calories

69 lying down.......................... 78 Calories

69 standing up......................... 112 Calories

Wheelbarrow............................ 216 Calories

Doggy Style............................ 326 Calories

Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories

ORGASMING:

Real................................... 112 Calories

False.................................. 315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging................... 18 Calories

Getting up immediately................. 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately......816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION: If you are:

20-29 years old........................ 36 Calories

30-39 years............................ 80 Calories

40-49 years............................ 124 Calories

50-59 years............................ 972 Calories

60-69 years............................ 2916 Calories

70 and over......................... Results are still pending

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:

Calmly................................. 32 Calories

In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories :o:D:D

Posted

DRESSING UP AFTERWARDS:

Calmly................................. 32 Calories

In a hurry............................. 98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door... 1218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door.... 3521 Calories w00t.gif w00t.gif w00t.gif

what about with her husband / boyfreind at the door?????? :o

Posted

Oh dear. Is that what an Italian Chandelier is? :o

btw, I've got a friend who'd like to know how to remove a 240w bulb from out his ass? He says it's not the screw-in type. :D

Posted
Italian chandelier..................... 912 Calories

I'm just a poor wee inocent lad, what the h@ll is this position :D

i have no idea about that position, but after google ....ahem ...seemmmmm :D:D:D good for exercise ..and must be working in the circus then we can do it (look like kinky spider by the way) :o

Italian Chandelier

Nothing as sexy as looking at the back of your ladies head while her hair gets in your mouth and tickels your nose111 :D

Posted

Okay, I'm fully aware now of the Italian Chandelier position and can't wait to give it a try.

So, can someone tell me where I can obtain one of those dummies? :o

Posted
Okay, I'm fully aware now of the Italian Chandelier position and can't wait to give it a try.

So, can someone tell me where I can obtain one of those dummies? :o

You should be able to get them at art supplies shop.... I remember seeing them at Central Chidlom a long time ago, dunno if they still have them.

These are basically anatomy dumies used by art students and "creative people" for posing "realistic" human poses..... :D

Posted
And how much are you going to spend on a DUMMY? :D  :D  :D

Actually, a Dummy might not be such a bad idea.

Doesn't moan, doesn't get headaches, doesn't need paying or feeding etc.

Only requires pumping out when it starts spitting at you. :o

:D

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