The Balcony, The Pestle And The Security Guard

[Moonrakers]

Had a sleepless night last night.

At about stupid o'clock A.M. I noticed this banging sound. This being Thailand such noises at unsociable hours are not a rarity so I just tried to ignore it at first. After about 30 minutes or so however, it was becoming a bit too much so I went out onto my balcony to have a look. From my balcony I couldn't see at first where the noise was coming from, but I did notice other people were also out on their balconies to see what the commotion was all about. Then I noticed her........

On a balcony in the apartment block opposite me I noticed a middle aged woman, who appeared to be dressed in only a towel, banging on the balcony door with a pestle making a right racket. It was easy to see what had happened: She had had a shower, gone to the balcony to get something in just her towel and the door closed behind her. Whether as an accident, some prank or maybe something more malicious, the door had become locked from the inside.

I sympathised with her at first, I would not be happy myself in that scenario. Enough was enough however and her noise had to stop. Besides, her current course of action was clearly getting her nowhere so a change of tact was needed. Knowing that with Thai's being Thai's they are unlikely to say anything, I took it upon myself to tell her to stop.

I shouted over and she stopped, looking mortified about the fact that no she wasn't in a bubble and she had woken much of the neighbourhood. I then shouted downstairs to her building's security guard who answered quickly. I half expected him to be asleep but I reckon the woman's racket had woken him also but instead of doing something about it, he just sat there doing absolutely nowt. I didn't have to make any explanation as to why I was calling him, the entire neighbourhood was aware of what was going on by now. My idea was quite a simple one, he'd have access to a key and be able to let her in. He rushed out into the car park and looked up toward her apartment balcony when she did the oddest thing.........

She hid.

She literally hid so that the yam couldn't see her, crouching down out of sight on her balcony. I could still just about see her from my angle, but the yam had no chance from where he was. I can only think that she did what she did out of embarrassment and rather than speak to the yam who could help her out, she chose to hide instead.

Now this yam was clearly not the sharpest tool in the shed and just sat back down again. It was clear that he would need to be given step by step instructions and it wouldn't be long before balcony lady would start up trying to break down the door with a som-tam maker again. I then shouted down to the yam of my building whom to be fair, is a bit more savvy. Without instruction he went over to his counterpart and explained what should be done. You could actually physically see the point where the penny dropped for the other guy and he rushed off, in a panicked fashion, to find a key.

I wonder how long she would have been there for with her pestle before anybody tried to take any constructive action had I not intervened.

And yes, it is a slow day for me today.

[remiss]

I don't know what to say... I'm speechless

[Willeyeam]

I can visualize it , wonderful!

There is no responsibility, no idea of consequence for actions or lack of.

I point it out to my son as often as possible, every time you see someone splattered on the road here, brains all over the floor, I ask him, do you think it might have helped if they had worn a helmet? Luckily he gets the idea, sadly most of locals do NOT!

[lovelomsak]

I had something similar happen once. I was kept awake for more than an hour with a woman banging on my door. I finally got up and opened the door and let her out.

[SamBolsty]

Op, do you live in Pattaya?

[Moonrakers]

Op, do you live in Pattaya?

Bangkok

[onnut]

a classic case of "its not my job"

happens alot around these parts.

[TheLaughingMan]

God I love stories like this.

[NancyL]

I love this story! First of all the title -- it reminds me of the Aesop's Fables so common in the Thai children's stories that I'm reading in an effort to learn Thai. You know, stories with odd titles like "The Jackdaw, the Turtle and the River".

Also, I love the story because I've "been there, done that" on a couple of levels. We used to live in a high rise and it was amazing to see the activity on the balconies of other high-rise buildings in the area. People act like they're in the privacy of their own home, rather than out in full view of an entire metropolis! The best thing about my ghastly Thai-style balcony kitchen was the view.

Also, frankly, I've been a woman in this situation. It always plays out the same way. I return from a hard day of visits with my dressmaker, Thai lessons, lunch with friends at a fancy restaurant, exercise at the health club and discover that I left the door key in the evening bag I used the night before -- not my daytime handbag. I see from the shoes on our porch that Hubby is home and presumably napping upstairs since he doesn't respond to the doorbell and I don't hear the TV/sound system at full blast. So, I look around the soi for small rocks and begin to throw them up so that hopefully they'll hit the area next to the upstairs window and not the window itself. I learned early on there was no point in shouting. My objective is to wake up our really verbal cat and hope Hubby wonders why the cat is carrying on. (This is where having a dog would come in handy, because the cat is not entirely reliable.). Of course this performance always attracts the attention of people in the neighborhood. Eventually Hubby wakes up and I'm granted entrance, much to the delight of the watching neighbors.

Hubby, ever practical, suggested I make a copy of our house key and keep it in the locker at the health club since I always seem to realize my problem when I'm packing up to return home after exercising. Also, he's concerned that eventually I'm going to miss the target with my rocks and actually hit our window, rather than my target of the wall next to the window.

Edited March 22, 2011 by NancyL

[Tonto21]

“She hide” Classic, sometime I think naturel selection; (evolution of man, woman in this case) just did a body swerve around Thailand somewhere between standing erect and self-awareness, I love it……But only when it doesn’t involve me!

[Beetlejuice]

I think you were a little premature with your complaining, moonrakers.

If you would have waited a while longer, grabbed your cellphone put in video mode, the desperate lady may have eventually dropped her towel and then you could have found fame and gained huge viewing figures by uploading the video onto UTube.

[gravion]

what a wild party :o :o

[Mugg]

Wonderful writing skills by the way I enjoyed it and hope to incorporate many of the quips and quotes in to something I will call my own. Thanks ...

[bunnaag]

Did she have a shower with a pestle in the hand?

[tigerfish]

Did she have a shower with a pestle in the hand?

those pestles don' t half get a bit fishy sometimes !

[dave111223]

I took it upon myself to tell her to stop

Poor woman's been stuck on the balcony for who knows how long, trying to get some attention and praying someone will save her and you're only concern is that she stop making a racket and suffer in silence?

If he had "stopped" as you told her to, would you still have got the security guard to help her?

[Thaddeus]

Makes a change from wind chimes I suppose.

[whybother]

I took it upon myself to tell her to stop

Poor woman's been stuck on the balcony for who knows how long, trying to get some attention and praying someone will save her and you're only concern is that she stop making a racket and suffer in silence?

If he had "stopped" as you told her to, would you still have got the security guard to help her?

I shouted over and she stopped, looking mortified about the fact that no she wasn't in a bubble and she had woken much of the neighbourhood. I then shouted downstairs to her building's security guard who answered quickly.

[Richb2004v2]

What's a Yam?

[dave111223]

I took it upon myself to tell her to stop

Poor woman's been stuck on the balcony for who knows how long, trying to get some attention and praying someone will save her and you're only concern is that she stop making a racket and suffer in silence?

If he had "stopped" as you told her to, would you still have got the security guard to help her?

I shouted over and she stopped, looking mortified about the fact that no she wasn't in a bubble and she had woken much of the neighbourhood. I then shouted downstairs to her building's security guard who answered quickly.

So he shouted at her to stop and she stopped;

It seems to me the reason for shouting to the security guard was motivated by ensuring she remained quiet as opposed being concerned with her well-being.

Edited March 23, 2011 by dave111223

[whybother]

So he shouted at her to stop and she stopped; what's your point?

It seems to me the reason for shouting to the security guard was motivated by ensuring she remained quiet as opposed being concerned with her well-being.

"If (s)he had "stopped" as you told her to, would you still have got the security guard to help her?"

She DID stop, and he DID call the security guard to help her, in fact he called both her security guard and his security guard.

My idea was quite a simple one, he'd have access to a key and be able to let her in.

My point is (emphasised by your second post) that you should read the OP ... ALL of it.

[MrsMills]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Personally I would have gone downstairs and explained what I had seen to the Security guard instead of shouting down at a guy that has no idea <deleted> you are on about. A crazed Farang on the Condo balcony in the wee hours shouting at the moon would hardly be a first for Thailand.

I feel sorry for all the people he woke up with his shouting, if it was a complaint about a Thai man shouting from his Condo balcony waking everybody up instead of going down to actually speak to the security guard and explain the problem, there would have been a ThaiVisa tirade of abuse against the Thai man for being so selfish, so stupid, so inconsiderate and typically unaware of anybody or anything around him etc etc etc.

Now it was a Farang doing the shouting instead of actually going to explain what he had seen, whats the ThaiVisa verdict now ?

Edited March 23, 2011 by MrsMills

[whybother]

<snip>

Personally I would have gone downstairs and explained what I had seen to the Security guard instead of shouting down at a guy that has no idea &lt;deleted&gt; you are on about. A crazed Farang on the Condo balcony in the wee hours shouting at the moon would hardly be a first for Thailand.

I feel sorry for all the people he woke up with his shouting, if it was a complaint about a Thai man shouting from his Condo balcony waking everybody up instead of going down to actually speak to the security guard and explain the problem, there would have been a ThaiVisa tirade of abuse against the Thai man for being so selfish, so stupid, so inconsiderate and typically unaware of anybody or anything around him etc etc etc.

Now it was a Farang doing the shouting instead of actually going to explain what he had seen, whats the ThaiVisa verdict now ?

From my balcony I couldn't see at first where the noise was coming from, but I did notice other people were also out on their balconies to see what the commotion was all about.

[robblok]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Personally I would have gone downstairs and explained what I had seen to the Security guard instead of shouting down at a guy that has no idea &lt;deleted&gt; you are on about. A crazed Farang on the Condo balcony in the wee hours shouting at the moon would hardly be a first for Thailand.

I feel sorry for all the people he woke up with his shouting, if it was a complaint about a Thai man shouting from his Condo balcony waking everybody up instead of going down to actually speak to the security guard and explain the problem, there would have been a ThaiVisa tirade of abuse against the Thai man for being so selfish, so stupid, so inconsiderate and typically unaware of anybody or anything around him etc etc etc.

Now it was a Farang doing the shouting instead of actually going to explain what he had seen, whats the ThaiVisa verdict now ?

Are you an reincarnation of maigo6 ?

[DP25]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Yam is Thai for security guard

[MrsMills]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Personally I would have gone downstairs and explained what I had seen to the Security guard instead of shouting down at a guy that has no idea &lt;deleted&gt; you are on about. A crazed Farang on the Condo balcony in the wee hours shouting at the moon would hardly be a first for Thailand.

I feel sorry for all the people he woke up with his shouting, if it was a complaint about a Thai man shouting from his Condo balcony waking everybody up instead of going down to actually speak to the security guard and explain the problem, there would have been a ThaiVisa tirade of abuse against the Thai man for being so selfish, so stupid, so inconsiderate and typically unaware of anybody or anything around him etc etc etc.

Now it was a Farang doing the shouting instead of actually going to explain what he had seen, whats the ThaiVisa verdict now ?

Are you an reincarnation of maigo6 ?

?

[robblok]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Personally I would have gone downstairs and explained what I had seen to the Security guard instead of shouting down at a guy that has no idea &lt;deleted&gt; you are on about. A crazed Farang on the Condo balcony in the wee hours shouting at the moon would hardly be a first for Thailand.

I feel sorry for all the people he woke up with his shouting, if it was a complaint about a Thai man shouting from his Condo balcony waking everybody up instead of going down to actually speak to the security guard and explain the problem, there would have been a ThaiVisa tirade of abuse against the Thai man for being so selfish, so stupid, so inconsiderate and typically unaware of anybody or anything around him etc etc etc.

Now it was a Farang doing the shouting instead of actually going to explain what he had seen, whats the ThaiVisa verdict now ?

Are you an reincarnation of maigo6 ?

?

Just look up the user and you will get my drift. Anyway it was not ment as an offense. I kinda liked the guy.

[Mugg]

Yam.

In the context he's using, I would guess its something derogatory aimed at the Thai man.

Yam is Thai for security guard

Yes I believe it was first used in the context of "Young Asian Man"

[Familyonthemove]

To the OP .... Excellent ..... this should be part of an ex-pat blog .... thanks for posting

[Payboy]

This story has an upset farang on a balcony in Thailand.

But he didn't jump!

What are the odds of that happening?

Edited March 23, 2011 by Payboy