Age Difference

[jdinasia]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

This post has gone a long ways and has offered a lot of opinions, but , as I answered earlier it seems to me that age doesn't matter as much as attitude between the partners. I am 20 years older than my wife, we have been quite happily married almost 5 years, known each other for seven. My brother is 15 years younger than his wife and they have been happily married for over 35 years. My mother was 4 years older than my father, and they were married almost 50 years.

So I guess, SBK, it does go both ways if it works for both. I really think age is not the game-breaker, it's attitude.

Just my opinion.

mario299

20 years is perfectly acceptable, but 70-80 year old man with 17-18 year old girl ? well im sorry but NO !!

Many people have many opinions and thankfully those opinions aren't very important in most things. Some people have opinions about what 2 consenting adults should do, including acceptable age differences. Some people have opinions about senior citizens fathering children etc etc etc ...

Personally, I come down on the side of "it isn't any of your dam_n business, who I sleep with or if I marry (or not) as long as my partner is a consenting adult.", I see more problems inherent with having children later in life due to the increased risk of abandonment (via death) early in the kid's life, but again my opinions just shouldn't matter to others on that

[dmax]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

so you think its acceptable for an old fart of 70-80 years of age to date a young thai teenager of say 17-18 bearing in mind these girls look much younger than that.

just a question for you wallaby, if the girl was 15-16 years of age would you go there ? im just curious btw maybe adults to you but teenagers to me, obviously you dont have any daughters.

Edited April 20, 2011 by dmax

[jdinasia]

I'm a cougar...!!!

I'm all for the Cougar's, go get em and enjoy what you want ladies.

Funny how the term 'Cougar' here in the west brings a knowing smile to one's face and perhaps a giggle but mention an old man with a young woman and the smile is replaced with a snarl and followed by all sorts of diatribe.

Let's hear it for the girls! Why should anyone have any issues with the actions of 2 consenting adults?

[StreetCowboy]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

so you think its acceptable for an old fart of 70-80 years of age to date a young thai teenager of say 17-18 bearing in mind these girls look much younger than that.

just a question for you wallaby, if the girl was 15-16 years of age would you go there ? im just curious btw maybe adults to you but teenagers to me, obviously you dont have any daughters.

Perhaps you could give us the criteria by which we could assess our possible relationships. I am slightly more than three years older than my wife, and have been ever since she was born. Is that acceptable?

Mr Forbes can boast an age difference approximately ten times that; is that acceptable? At what age will his girlfriends become, in your eyes, fair game for him?

I am sure many of us would appreciate constructive guidelines, as we really do not wish to engender ill-feeling or upset in anyone.

Thanks in advance

SC

[bonobo]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

If it is good one way between the genders, then it is good the other way was well.

The phrase "cougar" has joined the lexicon, and I think it has a more positive connotation than the reverse. There is a TV show now which uses the phrase in its name which rather looks on older women dating younger men in quite a positive light.

[bonobo]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

This post has gone a long ways and has offered a lot of opinions, but , as I answered earlier it seems to me that age doesn't matter as much as attitude between the partners. I am 20 years older than my wife, we have been quite happily married almost 5 years, known each other for seven. My brother is 15 years younger than his wife and they have been happily married for over 35 years. My mother was 4 years older than my father, and they were married almost 50 years.

So I guess, SBK, it does go both ways if it works for both. I really think age is not the game-breaker, it's attitude.

Just my opinion.

mario299

20 years is perfectly acceptable, but 70-80 year old man with 17-18 year old girl ? well im sorry but NO !!

Just out of curiosity, where do you draw the line on what is "perfectly acceptable" and what is not? (Other than the age of consent, of course.)

[bonobo]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

so you think its acceptable for an old fart of 70-80 years of age to date a young thai teenager of say 17-18 bearing in mind these girls look much younger than that.

just a question for you wallaby, if the girl was 15-16 years of age would you go there ? im just curious btw maybe adults to you but teenagers to me, obviously you dont have any daughters.

Legally, the age of consent makes it wrong to have intimate relations with someone 15-16 years old.

But 18? What does an 18-year-old's appearances have to do with anything? If she looks 15, but is of legal age, can she still buy alcohol, drive a car, vote, etc? Can she join the military? So why should that have anything to do with whom she decides to spend time.

Or is is just your opinion on what looks wrong to you?

[SteeleJoe]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

so you think its acceptable for an old fart of 70-80 years of age to date a young thai teenager of say 17-18 bearing in mind these girls look much younger than that.

just a question for you wallaby, if the girl was 15-16 years of age would you go there ? im just curious btw maybe adults to you but teenagers to me, obviously you dont have any daughters.

Legally, the age of consent makes it wrong to have intimate relations with someone 15-16 years old.

But 18? What does an 18-year-old's appearances have to do with anything? If she looks 15, but is of legal age, can she still buy alcohol, drive a car, vote, etc? Can she join the military? So why should that have anything to do with whom she decides to spend time.

Or is is just your opinion on what looks wrong to you?

I won't try and speak for the guy but I'm guessing his position that anyone who would be with a girl who looks younger than 18 is perverse because the implication is that the guy wants someone younger than 18 and that's why he is with her. Fine, that's a reasonable supposition perhaps and presumably some would feel that speak ill of the man in that situation.

My wife was 18 when I met her almost 20 years ago and she looked like she could be younger (I was worried about it and didn't even believe her ID card for a long time). I was (and of course still am) still in my20s but got some looks (and by the way, I had NOTHING when I met her). For quite a few years after that I looked increasingly older -- as one does -- and my wife still looked barely legal, if that. It was at times awkward.

What would Dmax say to that? I shouldn't have begun the relationship with the person who I've been very happily with for nearly 2 decades? The woman who has stuck by me through thick and exceedingly thin? Who emotionally and financially supported me at various points in my life ? Who has cooked and cleaned and cared form me for all this time never asking for much in return other than love and respect? The woman who has given me 2 amazing children that so many people I know envy me for? That I'm a pervert for ever being attracted to her? (truth is she was and is very beautiful but that wasn't what attracted me).

Well, if I was/am a creepy perv, I was a da_n smart one and really chose my "teenager" well.

EDIT to add: Wow. I never planned to post all THAT. Perhaps a nerve was struck, eh?

Edited April 20, 2011 by SteeleJoe

[StreetCowboy]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

If it is good one way between the genders, then it is good the other way was well.

The phrase "cougar" has joined the lexicon, and I think it has a more positive connotation than the reverse. There is a TV show now which uses the phrase in its name which rather looks on older women dating younger men in quite a positive light.

I can't really see IanF going out with a sugar-mamma four decades his senior. Not unless they had a lot of interests in common or she was really wealthy

SC

[Max2010]

I will leave the Ian Forbes posts alone only because he needs to up his med dosage to stop the delusional thoughts and to quit try to convince himself it OK....

My thoughts on the subject of Age difference.. It does make a difference HOWEVER where it makes a difference is how young is the girl in the relationship. If you are say 35ish and up and dating a late teen or 20 yr old, you have some serious issues to overcome(within yourself) primarily as this "Child" has zero life experience and is doing nothing more then looking at you like a father figure. I mean what would you talk about? Her Make up, Hello Kitty collection, help her with her homework? Sit around with Mom and Dad at dinner? Let's be realistic.

If you are say ~50 and she is ~35 and up, that is not uncommon both here and in the US. This women, "for all intents and purposes" has lived a bit, understands what she likely wants in life. Has life experience behind here, Probably a few bad relationships under her belt, Most likely works, has a circle of friends and so on. Of course this is all generalized, cannot be any other way. To many age variables to discuss

In the end, if you are paying for the "Sex" and believe you are getting affection and have a 'Wonderful, loving care situation, You feel like a MAN because a 20 year old thinks your are sexy and so on I agree with others, stop paying and see how fast they stay around and compliment your bed time prowess. To comment about it as a "Relationship" is silly. it is nothing more then paying for sex.

I think the OP was asking this question for the people who have a long standing, "Not business arrangement" Those do not count.

As for me, I am 50, my GF is 38( 39 next month). Up to this point our relationship is very good

Excellent Post

Max2010

[sbk]

Actually, I wasn't interested in their sex lives, but rather how high their hypocrisy level lay is all.

Is sauce for the gander also then sauce for the goose?

[dumball]

Prey tell me what suddenly turns a man into ' An old fart ' when he turns 70 ? Some of us older gentlemen can give men of a lesser age , a good run for their money in the ' Customer ' satisfaction field , without the need of medication to enable us to stand up for rights of entry , so to speak .

It is almost impossible to explain the wide range of diversity in human nature , what may be good for one causes others to get apoplectic , age is not even the only reason this happens , size , shape , packaging , ethnicity , morals , colour , gender , etc , also causes some people to get up on their soap box to spout off to who-ever is prepared to listen .

Cool your heels , lower your voice , keep your opinions to yourself and allow others to get on with and enjoy life the best way suitable to them , you are nobody's keeper .

[transam]

Prey tell me what suddenly turns a man into ' An old fart ' when he turns 70 ? Some of us older gentlemen can give men of a lesser age , a good run for their money in the ' Customer ' satisfaction field , without the need of medication to enable us to stand up for rights of entry , so to speak .

It is almost impossible to explain the wide range of diversity in human nature , what may be good for one causes others to get apoplectic , age is not even the only reason this happens , size , shape , packaging , ethnicity , morals , colour , gender , etc , also causes some people to get up on their soap box to spout off to who-ever is prepared to listen .

Cool your heels , lower your voice , keep your opinions to yourself and allow others to get on with and enjoy life the best way suitable to them , you are nobody's keeper .

+1, 100%

[jdinasia]

Prey tell me what suddenly turns a man into ' An old fart ' when he turns 70 ? Some of us older gentlemen can give men of a lesser age , a good run for their money in the ' Customer ' satisfaction field , without the need of medication to enable us to stand up for rights of entry , so to speak .

It is almost impossible to explain the wide range of diversity in human nature , what may be good for one causes others to get apoplectic , age is not even the only reason this happens , size , shape , packaging , ethnicity , morals , colour , gender , etc , also causes some people to get up on their soap box to spout off to who-ever is prepared to listen .

Cool your heels , lower your voice , keep your opinions to yourself and allow others to get on with and enjoy life the best way suitable to them , you are nobody's keeper .

+1, 100%

While I'll agree with paragraphs 2 and 3 of the quoted text ... at some point every man should face the fact that he is getting older ... and when you are in the last few years of average life expectancy, you are in fact "an old fart" Don't let it get you 'down" and enjoy what you have left with as much gusto as you can!

[andrewbkk]

Prey tell me what suddenly turns a man into ' An old fart ' when he turns 70 ?

A man doesn't necessarily become an old fart when he turns 70. There are varying degrees of fartitude.

I have met many prematurely aged men who had a much higher Fart Quotient (FQ) than gentlemen I've known who were significantly older.

If we look at Ian Forbes, for example, we note that is sprightly and alert. I would suggest that he has quite a low FQ.

Finally, anyone who starts a sentence with the words "Prey tell" is indeed a fart amongst farts. You sir are to be congratulated. One day I too will enter the realms of fartdom. I sincerely hope I live long enough to achieve an FQ as high as yours.

[bonobo]

.

My wife was 18 when I met her almost 20 years ago and she looked like she could be younger (I was worried about it and didn't even believe her ID card for a long time). I was (and of course still am) still in my20s but got some looks (and by the way, I had NOTHING when I met her). For quite a few years after that I looked increasingly older -- as one does -- and my wife still looked barely legal, if that. It was at times awkward.

What would Dmax say to that? I shouldn't have begun the relationship with the person who I've been very happily with for nearly 2 decades? The woman who has stuck by me through thick and exceedingly thin? Who emotionally and financially supported me at various points in my life ? Who has cooked and cleaned and cared form me for all this time never asking for much in return other than love and respect? The woman who has given me 2 amazing children that so many people I know envy me for? That I'm a pervert for ever being attracted to her? (truth is she was and is very beautiful but that wasn't what attracted me).

Well, if I was/am a creepy perv, I was a da_n smart one and really chose my "teenager" well.

EDIT to add: Wow. I never planned to post all THAT. Perhaps a nerve was struck, eh?

Nice post.

[luckizuchinni]

Actually, I wasn't interested in their sex lives, but rather how high their hypocrisy level lay is all.

Is sauce for the gander also then sauce for the goose?

The sauce is good for both!

[Patsycat]

I'm still a cougar!!

I went out for a drink with a man who is 10 years younger than me...

He looked older than me, though.

Edited April 20, 2011 by Patsycat

[Wallaby]

hi F1 , ive been here on and off for 12 yrs now, nothing shocks me anymore, ive seen it all. though i would argue the point that many of these teenagers do not have a choice as such, growing up in isaan with no education and having to provide food for the family, what choice would you make ? go work in the paddy fields for 150 baht a day or go with a depraved old man for 1000 baht per day, well maybe a choice yes but which one would you take if the shoe were on the other foot ?

Teenagers? You could start by referring to them as adults. These adults do have a choice and every day that make that choice. How else to you explain why not every lady from Isaan follows suit? It's because they chose not to.

I too am an adult, if you or anyone else doesn't like what I do then that's ok by me but if you then voice your concerns in front of me and/or my women then expect to have your opinions rammed up an orifice not normally associated with verbal communication.

so you think its acceptable for an old fart of 70-80 years of age to date a young thai teenager of say 17-18 bearing in mind these girls look much younger than that.

just a question for you wallaby, if the girl was 15-16 years of age would you go there ? im just curious btw maybe adults to you but teenagers to me, obviously you dont have any daughters.

Legally, the age of consent makes it wrong to have intimate relations with someone 15-16 years old.

But 18? What does an 18-year-old's appearances have to do with anything? If she looks 15, but is of legal age, can she still buy alcohol, drive a car, vote, etc? Can she join the military? So why should that have anything to do with whom she decides to spend time.

Or is is just your opinion on what looks wrong to you?

Ahh you see your view is corrupted by your thoughts of your own daughter. You are correct, I have no daughters, I also have no sons and have never been married, lucky to have dodged that bullet.

If the girl was 15-16 would I go there? Well it would depend on a number of factors.

1. What is the age of consent in MY country

2. What is the age of consent her HER country

3. If I want a long term relationship then I would want to be able to hold a conversation with her, so, are we on the same wavelength

4. How many sick buffallo's does she have

5. Do I find her attactive (I thought this would go without saying but put it in anyway).

To me, the only thing relevent regarding the age is the legality. If I am happy and she is happy then it is no one's business but ours. I may find it disgusting if I see a guy with a girl I consider to be ugly, but none of my business. I don't understand the relevance of the 15-16 age you ask about. If you don't like something, don't do it. But don't go passing judgment on those that legally decide otherwise.

I will also mention that when I was 35 I dated a girl who was 17 (western girl). We were together for nearly 3 years. That was 12 years ago and we now work for the same company. She is now married with 2 children. I play golf with her father quite often and even get on well with her husband. She's my best friend. I'm sure there were plenty of people thinking me a terrible person. As long as she was happy and (because she was only 17) her parents approved then that was fine by me. Oh, and I wasn't the one that went after her, she let it be known to all and sundry that she wanted me, at first I declined but then decided that I shouldn't bedrudge myself the joy.

[IanForbes]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

As you probably already know, I don't care who likes who and for whatever reason. What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. If a wide age spread works for a couple (male, female or gay) then I'm not one to pass judgement on someone elses choices. Even if a relationship lasts only 5 or 6 good years it should have been worth it. There is no reason for a childless couple to stay together if they are not enjoying each other's company. Why be miserable when there is so much out there to enjoy?

It is ONLY when children come into the picture that a couple should try to work out something beneficial for the children. I've always put my children first in every situation. And, that is even true for the Thai family I decided to adopt. If it was just the woman of the children I never would have started a relationship in the first place, but I decided to look after her children as best I can and so far I've succeeded somewhat.

[IanForbes]

... I personally know at least a dozen Thai women like that and we are fairly good friends... just not intimate ones ... They also know how I spend my time and with who. They've met my special ladies and there is none of the hostility shown here.

The only hostilities are over who gets to keep the fish.

True, so I try to catch equal numbers of fish for all three of them. Fortunately, I'm usually able to do that. Yes, I HAVE learned how jealous that Thai women can be.

But we are also trying to compare apples to oranges here. It's one thing to have a short time relationship where both parties understand the limits, but that's something entirely different to being involved in a long term relationship... married or not.

I have no intention of ever being in a committed, long term relationship again, and every woman I am with knows that. I won't tell lies to anyone. But, I don't go into unnecessary details either.

[Atmos]

everyone's different; we're 40s/30s (I'm the older one), we met through a sports club and for me that common interest is very important, we both swim (and I don't mean flounder about and get wet), road cycle, sea kayak and snorkel; through these interests we've met friends of similar ages.

I know two men here with 40+ year age differences between them and their younger wives. Just my own observation, but often they seemed just so lonely. Wife would always be 'out with her friends', 'out with family' or at best, in another room of the house watching Thai tv. Easy to see why - when I was 23 I didn't chose to spend my leisure time with people my grandparents era. Does the 'novelty' wea off - from both sides?

[IanForbes]

everyone's different; we're 40s/30s (I'm the older one), we met through a sports club and for me that common interest is very important, we both swim (and I don't mean flounder about and get wet), road cycle, sea kayak and snorkel; through these interests we've met friends of similar ages.

I know two men here with 40+ year age differences between them and their younger wives. Just my own observation, but often they seemed just so lonely. Wife would always be 'out with her friends', 'out with family' or at best, in another room of the house watching Thai tv. Easy to see why - when I was 23 I didn't chose to spend my leisure time with people my grandparents era. Does the 'novelty' wea off - from both sides?

Good post, Genghis61. I agree. Any long term relationship should have some common ground other than just sex. That wears thin after a while. However, some people enjoy raising a family together and that is what they have in common.

[StreetCowboy]

Actually, I wasn't interested in their sex lives, but rather how high their hypocrisy level lay is all.

Is sauce for the gander also then sauce for the goose?

Oh, I love a bit of sauce!

I can't believe Frankie Howerd is still dead....

SC

[StreetCowboy]

So, just out of curiosity, I am wondering for all these men who think it perfectly acceptable to be 20 + years older than their wives. does the reverse hold true? Do you stand in judgment of women who prefer younger partners or do you think its just as perfectly fine as your own relationship?

This post has gone a long ways and has offered a lot of opinions, but , as I answered earlier it seems to me that age doesn't matter as much as attitude between the partners. I am 20 years older than my wife, we have been quite happily married almost 5 years, known each other for seven. My brother is 15 years younger than his wife and they have been happily married for over 35 years. My mother was 4 years older than my father, and they were married almost 50 years.

So I guess, SBK, it does go both ways if it works for both. I really think age is not the game-breaker, it's attitude.

Just my opinion.

mario299

20 years is perfectly acceptable, but 70-80 year old man with 17-18 year old girl ? well im sorry but NO !!

To be fair, I think a simple differential is not sufficient. I remember with a certain fondness the girlfriend of my dear mother's second cousin but once removed, who was seventeen years younger than the aforementioned cousin, and, on discussing this differential, my dear father's cousin remarked that were he to dally with a lady similarly so much younger, he should find himself accommodated in rather spartan premises at the pleasure of her majesty the queen. I fear that, in order to provide us with an effective set of guidelines that are both comprehensive and constructive, Dmax will need to push his spreadsheet capabilities to the limit.

SC

[IanForbes]

There is substantial proof that suggests that Joseph, the father of Jesus, was in his thirties when he took Mary, a girl of 12 as his bride. That was perfectly acceptible in those days. Anyone who wants to believe the fairy tale of the virgin birth is entitled to their belief... along with Santa Clause and the Eastery bunny.

[StreetCowboy]

There is substantial proof that suggests that Joseph, the father of Jesus, was in his thirties when he took Mary, a girl of 12 as his bride. That was perfectly acceptible in those days. Anyone who wants to believe the fairy tale of the virgin birth is entitled to their belief... along with Santa Clause and the Eastery bunny.

Dmax says 20 years' difference is OK, so I think Joseph is in the clear on that one.

Some of the other posters reckon her birth certificate carries more weight than the fact that she looked like an old harridan, and therefore 12 y.o. is ok for whisky, but not brides, regardless of how mature she looked, and whether she was with child by dint of an encounter with the holy spirit.

Anyway, what's done is done, and there's no point in crying over spilt milk. Maybe we should just let it lie...

SC

[jazzbo]

I know two men here with 40+ year age differences between them and their younger wives. Just my own observation, but often they seemed just so lonely. Wife would always be 'out with her friends', 'out with family' or at best, in another room of the house watching Thai tv. Easy to see why -

Lonely? ... I pay the rent for her own apartment 5 minutes away just so she can hang out with her friends et al and leave me alone.

[bonobo]

My US home is in San Diego, also home to several hundred thousand Filipinos. As my undergraduate roommate is FIlipino and also lives in the area, I am invited to numerous Filipino functions and know a good deal of them.

I personally know of at least 3 December/April relationships. In each case, the man is in his 70's or 80's, and the woman is in her 20's or 30's. And no one I know looks askance on that. Also in each case, the man was widowed and has some age or health-related problems, and two of the Filipinas are nurses. From what I gather, their relationships were founded on the woman coming to the US, living a decent lifestyle, and with the ability to inherit varying amounts of money/property upon their husbands' passing, and the man gets a caregiver so he can live in his own houses and not have to move into a nursing home.

One of the Filipinas came into the marriage with a child from a previous relationship.

Two of these couples seem quite cuddly and happy, with little kisses and hugs, and the man in one case seems genuinely to dote on the child. And if gossip is true, the other couple enjoys a healthy sex life. I have never seen the third couple exhibit any specific degree of tenderness, but I only see them rarely.

My point is that if this works for them, who cares about the age difference? There are lots of different types of relationships in this world, and whether they are "right" or "wrong" really depends on the people involved, not for strangers on an internet forum.

[IanForbes]

Great post, Bonobo. You hit the nail squarely on the head. Who else but the couple concerned should worry about the arrangement the couple agreed on. I've certainly seen MANY so called "perfect marriages" turn into a war zone where everything up to and including murder is the end result.