Forget A Thai Lady

[farangone]

Hello guys.

I am experiencing a hard time currently. I will try to write down my story short so that it does not take too long to read.

I went to Thailand with some friends to have some fun. I saw many beautiful girls, some bars and many very friendly people (I really like Thailand now!). On one day I met a bargirl and without saying even one word I took her with me. She did not want to have any money. It turned out that we fell in love right away. We stayed together every day and the last day (as I left her) she took the taxi to see me at the airport (although this was rather expensive for) for just 2 more hours. It was very hard to leave her.

Now the facts:

- She is a bargirl (but told me to stop it. Everytime I call her she is at home at night so hopefully she really is not working in the bar anymore). I paid the barfine just for the first 3 days. Later I did not pay anymore because she cancelled in that bar

- She never asked me for any money. She paid the taxi, bus etc. on her own.

- She calls me from Thailand on her own although she is poor

- She introduced me to her family

- She knows that there are many many Thai girls who may be more beautiful (but for me she is the best!)

- We did not have much sex because this was not important for me and not for her. We just enjoyed having each other

- She is not well educated (had to leave school at the age of 15 to take care of sisters). Family is poor, father died some years ago.

- She started working in bar as her family demanded more and more money (since her father was suffering of cancer)

- She never wanted to talk to me about her family and her bar life. But after some insisting days she started talking about it (with some tears of course)

Now to me:

- I am around 25 (by the way, she is my age), high-educated

- I actually have a girlfriend, which is highly-educated, good-looking, lovely and maybe "the one"

- I do have big problems to find a non-thai girlfriend (so I did not go to Thailand to find a girlfriend..... that was not my intention)

I think you can now guess what my problem is:

I fell in love with the Thai girl. I can't think of anything else. She is such a lovely person, I never felt anything else like this before. She speaks english, but not too much. But it seems we can read each others mind and know how we feel and what we appreciate. Kisses, hugging etc. is so intense..... it is perfect.

But I know that there are many things that speak agains a relationship with her:

- She cannot come to Australia (I just know her some days and it is nearly impossible to get a visa for Australia)

- I cannot go to Thailand (got exams here and can't just stop all of it)

- I have my loving girlfriend of which I would have said that she is the one and only before

- What would my thai girl do in my home country? I like girls who are independent, have their own friends and are not too jealous. That's what this thai girl would not be. Would she find a job? What would she do? Her education is not too good.

Everyone would say: Forget her. But: What if I can't?

Maybe some of you guys can help me by just talking. I need someone who helps me.

The worst thing of all is not that I can't see her again but that I am scared that she will start working in bar again. Actually I think it would have been better if I had never seen Thailand. As happy as the time was there.... as sad it makes me now.

In my life I just remember myself 4-5 times crying (I am not used to it). At least 2 times of it was for or about this girl.

Please help me.

[britmaveric]

[farangone]

Just to add some more details. I never felt that she wanted to rip me off or have any money. She never asked me for money and as we were talking about her flight to my current country, she asked me if she could send her money to me so that I buy the ticker for her. I am a very cautious person. A friend of mine had fallen in love with a thai girl one year ago and he told me the whole story. So there is one thing above all for me: Never ever send money to her.

I told her that I will help her with Visa and a flight (and maybe I will pay a certain amount of the flight) but I also told her that I will not send or give her money (in order to find out if she loves me or the money). I always told her that I am poor (in fact I am not poor but I am far away from rich!).

I think that she really fell in love with me as well. My friends had Thai girls as well but those acted differently. They were kissing when the farangs wanted it, they were smiliing when the farangs were looking at them and they were laughing when the farangs were making stupid jokes. But mine was different: She was laughing, smiling and kissing when she wanted to. In fact she kissed me a lot more than I did.

One evening I was so tired that I did not want to do any "bed action" anymore. But she insisted. So I told her, that we did not have any condoms left. So what did she do? She got up, took a taxi and drove to the next seveneleven to buy some.

As I mentioned before I was really impressed as my sweet lady took the way to the airport to see me for just 2 more hours. This cost her much money but she told me that she wanted to see me for this time.

I cant stop thinking about her. Please guys... help me. I am desperate.

Maybe you want to ask me whether she knows about my girlfriend: No, I did not tell her. I knew that this would have broken things up. And I was so happy to see and meet her.

[BambinA]

Hello guys.

- I actually have a girlfriend, which is highly-educated, good-looking, lovely and maybe "the one"

-I fell in love with the Thai girl. I can't think of anything else. She is such a lovely person, I never felt anything else like this before.

-The worst thing of all is not that I can't see her again but that I am scared that she will start working in bar again.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

hey wake up kiddo .. if you are not a troll!!

1 follow your heart .. but u have a GF already ... why u wanna cheat on her?? what does she did wrong .. just you had a vacation and find a TH Ho?? ... sound FAIR ha...

for god sake ..methinks you know what do u want , just choose 1 ... who has a good time or bad time with u be4 ... or just the one u met , and sunk in her passion

2 u can pick girl from bar.. but u've never ever pick bar from girl

... try to think well again ..who is the most u want .. its your life .. no one can help you ..

grow up and decide

[Ice Maiden]

Yes I'll gladly help you. Now where is that baseball bat.. ? Need to knock some sense into this guy

[Pie Boy]

What a romatic story,pass me the bat when you've finished Ice.

[raggedjagged]

Sorry if I sound ignorant, I'm not exactly a veteran to these forums. But why such responses? People can get feelings and the guy seems to be honest with his post so far. I see no reason for such hastyness. Unless, of course, if there's something I don't know (which I won't be surprised of).

[farangone]

Thanks guys.

I know you are right. But I just cant forget her. And if I think of her working in a bar again.... this really makes me feel sorry.

I would at least like to have the chance to get to know her more so that I can decide whether I really like her (for a longer time) or if it was just the "new" feeling.

I mean, even if she did not work in bar for a long time (she did not even know where to send me to. She sent me to the wrong place. Was hard to find for me to see her again) and even if she really fell in love with me: I dont know if she is the right one for me.

But it drives me crazy that I do not have the chance to find out.

If you get to know a girl in your country you can just get to know her, then start a relationship and then decide if you want to have her for a longer time ("to have her" is not to be meant rude and refers to "stay in relationship with her because you have strong feelings". Sorry, but I am not a native speaker).

[farangone]

Yeah, I also dont know why there are some studid posts.

As I mentioned: I know that I am not behaving rationally. But thats no reason for calling me "storyteller" or making me the idiot.

Since I dont send her my money, get the next flight to her or anything stupid like that, I dont think that I am doing anything idiot-like. I am just concerned and looking for some help. Reading in the forum really helps me a lot because it makes me cautious.

I mean, even if all of the circumstances would fit (no girlfriend in homecountry, she can come to my country, find a job and so on): I could never be sure if she just wants to stay with me because I give her an easier life.

And added to that: I know she was not treated to good in her last relationship (ok, at least thats what she told me). I on the other hand like to indulge girls that I love, so I treated her really really good and let her know that I really like her. Maybe she is just not used to this and just likes me because she does not know this.

So maybe any other guy who behaves in this way would be as interesting for her as I am.

[Ice Maiden]

Thanks guys.

I know you are right. But I just cant forget her. And if I think of her working in a bar again.... this really makes me feel sorry.

I would at least like to have the chance to get to know her more so that I can decide whether I really like her (for a longer time) or if it was just the "new" feeling.

I mean, even if she did not work in bar for a long time (she did not even know where to send me to. She sent me to the wrong place. Was hard to find for me to see her again) and even if she really fell in love with me: I dont know if she is the right one for me.

But it drives me crazy that I do not have the chance to find out.

If you get to know a girl in your country you can just get to know her, then start a relationship and then decide if you want to have her for a longer time ("to have her" is not to be meant rude and refers to "stay in relationship with her because you have strong feelings". Sorry, but I am not a native speaker).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm going to be blunt here.

Get a &lt;deleted&gt; grip! You are cheating on your girlfriend and this new found Thai beauty. You carn't have your cake and eat it, choose one

And I thought you'd like to know most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time and all that love you long time crap.

Edited October 6, 2005 by Ice Maiden

[GuestHouse]

There's one born every minute.

[farangone]

Thanks guys.

I know you are right. But I just cant forget her. And if I think of her working in a bar again.... this really makes me feel sorry.

I would at least like to have the chance to get to know her more so that I can decide whether I really like her (for a longer time) or if it was just the "new" feeling.

I mean, even if she did not work in bar for a long time (she did not even know where to send me to. She sent me to the wrong place. Was hard to find for me to see her again) and even if she really fell in love with me: I dont know if she is the right one for me.

But it drives me crazy that I do not have the chance to find out.

If you get to know a girl in your country you can just get to know her, then start a relationship and then decide if you want to have her for a longer time ("to have her" is not to be meant rude and refers to "stay in relationship with her because you have strong feelings". Sorry, but I am not a native speaker).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm going to be blunt here.

Get a &lt;deleted&gt; grip! You are cheating in your girlfriend and this new found Thai beauty. You carn't have your cake and eat it, choose one

And I thought you'd like to know most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time and all that love you long time crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually I told my current girlfriend about it. At least I told her that something was going on. I am not cheating on her. And if (but this is not going to happen I think) I will see the thai lady, I will tell her before that I was not honest. I dont want to cheat on anyone since this is not the base of a relationship for me.

And to the "most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time". I even read this before I came to LOS.

Edited October 6, 2005 by farangone

[zaz]

Icey when you've finished with the baseball bat can you give me some too please, on the head, then on my arse!!

Mr farangone, mate, pal, buddy, I can relate to your story very very closely believe me my TV mates know about my situation and gave me the same advice too - FORGET THE (THAI) GIRL she IS screwing someone right NOW. I know it's hard etc etc but you have to come to terms with it. Plus you're only a first-timer too which is all the more reason you should listen to the Thai veterans on this forum. Heck, I'm still very very fond of my bird and am finding it hard to swallow (the truth that is...) but time is the best healer for these things. In fact you're lucky if you've got a steady girlfriend with you now - I haven't even got that luxury....sob sob..

Now where's that baseball bat Icey...??!!

[Ice Maiden]

"Actually I told my current girlfriend about it. At least I told her that something was going on. I am not cheating on her. And if (but this is not going to happen I think) I will see the thai lady, I will tell her before that I was not honest. I dont want to cheat on anyone since this is not the base of a relationship for me.

And to the "most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time". I even read this before I came to LOS."

Okay so you spent some time with a BG, barfined her I take it and spent some time getting to know her better in the bedroom?

You told your girlfriend about it? What exactlly did you tell her. "Hi honey I took a trip to LOS and spent some time with a BG didn't cheat on you though" sure...

And you say you are someone that thinks he dosen't fall for anything too easily? From the sound of your posts (or the parts I read) that isn't you.

Anyway what was you doing going on holiday alone to LOS taking a look in bars, huh? What was it, a business meeting?!

Your type won't get a lot of help on here.

EDIT - Zazzer I wouldn't wanna hit you honey. Just this guy because he is a cheating mofo

Edited October 6, 2005 by Ice Maiden

[OxfordWill]

But don't get too hung up on the cheating aspect of the problem. Is your long term happiness ensured by either your present girlfriend or this fling you are having now, which is likely to pass (as they always do, right?).

[BambinA]

Get a &lt;deleted&gt; grip! You are cheating on your girlfriend and this new found Thai beauty. You carn't have your cake and eat it, choose one 

im in your side !! ..MOFO CUFO

whatever we can create new vocab!!

[snoophound]

Well theres a lot of hard bitten krusty old know it alls on this forum.

Prob I am one.

Many have been there and been done too,just cant admit it.

You need to put things into perspective.

Holiday romance you will remember for a very long time or True love at first sight.

If you believe in the love at first sight aspect,and it seems she may not be the usual bargirl,its a lot of hard work and heartache ahead.

I suggest you keep the dialogue going,toll calls are dirt cheap now from Aus to Thailand....just buy a phone card and you can talk for hours and regularly.

The more you communicate the more you will be able to work things thru.

You must try and put the working in bar out of your mind as she needs to survive,... try and encourage her to get a real job.

Book another hol at xmas to see her.

Then you can see if it really was the "Real Thing".

I it was your first trip to Thailand you will also have been caught up in the surrealty of the place.

Its all fantastic ,but nothing is as it seems.

I know heaps of guys young and old that have fallen in love in Thailand.

My ladies extended network here in Sydney is over 50 gals,couples,some have great relationships but many havent lasted more than a year or two.

Focus on the study ,Stay in Touch ,Talk things through,Get back there at Xmas iif you can.

And above all try and let the head rule the heart.

Thanks guys.

I know you are right. But I just cant forget her. And if I think of her working in a bar again.... this really makes me feel sorry.

I would at least like to have the chance to get to know her more so that I can decide whether I really like her (for a longer time) or if it was just the "new" feeling.

I mean, even if she did not work in bar for a long time (she did not even know where to send me to. She sent me to the wrong place. Was hard to find for me to see her again) and even if she really fell in love with me: I dont know if she is the right one for me.

But it drives me crazy that I do not have the chance to find out.

If you get to know a girl in your country you can just get to know her, then start a relationship and then decide if you want to have her for a longer time ("to have her" is not to be meant rude and refers to "stay in relationship with her because you have strong feelings". Sorry, but I am not a native speaker).

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I'm going to be blunt here.

Get a &lt;deleted&gt; grip! You are cheating in your girlfriend and this new found Thai beauty. You carn't have your cake and eat it, choose one

And I thought you'd like to know most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time and all that love you long time crap.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually I told my current girlfriend about it. At least I told her that something was going on. I am not cheating on her. And if (but this is not going to happen I think) I will see the thai lady, I will tell her before that I was not honest. I dont want to cheat on anyone since this is not the base of a relationship for me.

And to the "most BG's are taught to say they haven't worked in the bar a long time". I even read this before I came to LOS.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Ice Maiden]

"Well theres a lot of hard bitten krusty old know it alls on this forum.

Prob I am one.

Many have been there and been done too,just cant admit it.

You need to put things into perspective.

Holiday romance you will remember for a very long time or True love at first sight.

If you believe in the love at first sight aspect,and it seems she may not be the usual bargirl,its a lot of hard work and heartache ahead.

I suggest you keep the dialogue going,toll calls are dirt cheap now from Aus to Thailand....just buy a phone card and you can talk for hours and regularly.

The more you communicate the more you will be able to work things thru.

You must try and put the working in bar out of your mind as she needs to survive,... try and encourage her to get a real job.

Book another hol at xmas to see her.

Then you can see if it really was the "Real Thing".

I it was your first trip to Thailand you will also have been caught up in the surrealty of the place.

Its all fantastic ,but nothing is as it seems.

I know heaps of guys young and old that have fallen in love in Thailand.

My ladies extended network here in Sydney is over 50 gals,couples,some have great relationships but many havent lasted more than a year or two.

Focus on the study ,Stay in Touch ,Talk things through,Get back there at Xmas iif you can.

And above all try and let the head rule the heart."

If this guy thinks the girl may be the real deal and he is going to do as you've said Snoophound then I urge him to split with his current girlfriend because it is plain and simple - not fair.

And something had to be wrong with the relationship with the current girlfriend if he found happiness (or thinks he has) elsewhere. So why he thinks she may be "The One" as he quoted is far beyond me.

I'm not against the love at first sight stuff but I am against cheating. And like I said in my previous post. What was he doing in a bar in the first place? Some business venture that was.

[snoophound]

Yep Icemaiden

Its too true

First time I went to Thailand on business 10 years ago ,I was married.

Got the drug in the vein.

Got Divorced,

Do I regret it?

Very Rarely.

At least he told his girlfriend,that shows some Backbone.

"Well theres a lot of hard bitten krusty old know it alls on this forum.

Prob I am one.

Many have been there and been done too,just cant admit it.

You need to put things into perspective.

Holiday romance you will remember for a very long time or True love at first sight.

If you believe in the love at first sight aspect,and it seems she may not be the usual bargirl,its a lot of hard work and heartache ahead.

I suggest you keep the dialogue going,toll calls are dirt cheap now from Aus to Thailand....just buy a phone card and you can talk for hours and regularly.

The more you communicate the more you will be able to work things thru.

You must try and put the working in bar out of your mind as she needs to survive,... try and encourage her to get a real job.

Book another hol at xmas to see her.

Then you can see if it really was the "Real Thing".

I it was your first trip to Thailand you will also have been caught up in the surrealty of the place.

Its all fantastic ,but nothing is as it seems.

I know heaps of guys young and old that have fallen in love in Thailand.

My ladies extended network here in Sydney is over 50 gals,couples,some have great relationships but many havent lasted more than a year or two.

Focus on the study ,Stay in Touch ,Talk things through,Get back there at Xmas iif you can.

And above all try and let the head rule the heart."

If this guy thinks the girl may be the real deal and he is going to do as you've said Snoophound then I urge him to split with his current girlfriend because it is plain and simple - not fair.

And something had to be wrong with the relationship with the current girlfriend if he found happiness (or thinks he has) elsewhere. So why he thinks she may be "The One" as he quoted is far beyond me.

I'm not against the love at first sight stuff but I am against cheating. And like I said in my previous post. What was he doing in a bar in the first place? Some business venture that was.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[BambinA]

i dont really understand guys

when u have a relationship aleady ..why you want more??

what the 1ST girl does wrong??

i wish she had plenty toyboy there when u shag with a skanky HO ..

one day u will understand how u feel when some1 u love betray on u

ohh yahhh .. i really hope so

[toffo9]

just do them all who cares lol

[Ice Maiden]

"Yep Icemaiden

Its too true

First time I went to Thailand on business 10 years ago ,I was married.

Got the drug in the vein.

Got Divorced,

Do I regret it?

Very Rarely.

At least he told his girlfriend,that shows some Backbone."

I'm happy for you then. But you say at least he told his girlfriend. He said that he was "doing nothing wrong" so he didn't mind telling his girlfriend. But I'm curious, what exactly did he tell his girlfriend?

I'm quoting from my other post again but was it something like this "Hi honey I took a trip to LOS met a BG didn't do anything though". Very unlikely.

If he told her the truth I would doubt very much she'd" be dating him still.

.. Bet his backbone is as strong as jelly...

[snoophound]

AHH Bambina

Someone told me the reason men are always on the hunt is a "primal instinct'.

The arguement was that the male species must always be watchful and vigilant for survival of his species.

He must plant his seed where ever he can to keep his species thriving.

Good excuse huh???

Seriously no logical explanation.

And Men get betrayed too Bambina.....I later discovered my ex wife had been screwing her boss for some time before our divorce!!!

i dont really understand guys

when  u have  a relationship aleady ..why you want more??

what  the  1ST girl  does wrong??

i wish she  had  plenty toyboy there when u shag with a  skanky HO ..

one  day u will understand  how  u feel when  some1 u love  betray on u

ohh yahhh .. i really hope so

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[farangone]

"Well theres a lot of hard bitten krusty old know it alls on this forum.

Prob I am one.

Many have been there and been done too,just cant admit it.

You need to put things into perspective.

Holiday romance you will remember for a very long time or True love at first sight.

If you believe in the love at first sight aspect,and it seems she may not be the usual bargirl,its a lot of hard work and heartache ahead.

I suggest you keep the dialogue going,toll calls are dirt cheap now from Aus to Thailand....just buy a phone card and you can talk for hours and regularly.

The more you communicate the more you will be able to work things thru.

You must try and put the working in bar out of your mind as she needs to survive,... try and encourage her to get a real job.

Book another hol at xmas to see her.

Then you can see if it really was the "Real Thing".

I it was your first trip to Thailand you will also have been caught up in the surrealty of the place.

Its all fantastic ,but nothing is as it seems.

I know heaps of guys young and old that have fallen in love in Thailand.

My ladies extended network here in Sydney is over 50 gals,couples,some have great relationships but many havent lasted more than a year or two.

Focus on the study ,Stay in Touch ,Talk things through,Get back there at Xmas iif you can.

And above all try and let the head rule the heart."

If this guy thinks the girl may be the real deal and he is going to do as you've said Snoophound then I urge him to split with his current girlfriend because it is plain and simple - not fair.

And something had to be wrong with the relationship with the current girlfriend if he found happiness (or thinks he has) elsewhere. So why he thinks she may be "The One" as he quoted is far beyond me.

I'm not against the love at first sight stuff but I am against cheating. And like I said in my previous post. What was he doing in a bar in the first place? Some business venture that was.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Hey Ice.

Just to make this clear: I am an honest person. I was going to Thailand with some of my friends. We also went into a bar (my girlfriend knew that we were going there since I was allowed to go to a stripclub before.... ) but I never wanted to touch any of these girls. I never wanted to be a typical sex tourist. So I just fell in love with this THai girl as it may also have happened in my home country. There was nothing really different except the fact that it was in Thailand and that she is/was working in a bar. As I stated before I already told her that something is going on (just came back from Thailand and I want to think first, then act) and that I will talk to her shortly. I will tell her that I fell in love with a thai girl. So there is no cheating on behalf of my current girlffriend. I will also tell the thai girl that I had a girlfriend while I met het. Maybe she will understand, maybe not. Hope this clarifies my point.

snoophound: Thanks for your posting. I think I will just let some time pass by. I wanted to see her in November, but I dont know whether she would get a visa to come to australia (do you think it is possible? She will leave her boy in Thailand, so maybe this shows, that she is willing to come back?). I dont know whether she is the one, but it looks like. Bought a calling card already. I just want to find out whether I really love her or if it was just the first-week-love and maybe we dont like each other if we meet every day. I want to have the first argue with her.... to know how she really feels. If you get to know a girl, the first days often are wonderful but later on you realize that you were just wearing the pink glasses (is this a common saying in english?).

To the bar working thing: I am calling her always in the night and until now it was always far too quiet for her to be in her bar. Most of the times I was also able to hear her son. What (I know.... now everyone will take his hand and put it straight onto his forehand) if she really stops working in a bar (which was the most important promise she had to give me)?

[farangone]

@bambina: She did nothing wrong. I just got to know much stronger feelings to another girl. Did this never happen to you?

[BambinA]

being a mia noi /sextoy for farangs its not fun

i can imagine what is your situation

u can think as i am your skanky HO in LOS (fact is im not ....heigher class than that ) ..

well what u met in TH .. just a fart .. just skunky ... smelly qautity ..but no quality

u know waht i mean??

[farangone]

@ice: I am quite sure that my girlfriend wont talk to me anymore after I tell her that there is another girl. But anyway I could not stay with her having the other girl in my mind.

[BambinA]

@bambina: She did nothing wrong. I just got to know much stronger feelings to another girl. Did this never happen to you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

interesting .. yes it happend to me .. that why i try to tell u what will be happend!!

[farangone]

@bambina: She did nothing wrong. I just got to know much stronger feelings to another girl. Did this never happen to you?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

interesting .. yes it happend to me .. that why i try to tell u what will be happend!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sorry. But then I did not get it. Maybe my english is too bad. What happened to you?

[BambinA]

AHH Bambina

Someone told me the reason men are always on the hunt is a "primal instinct'.

The arguement was that the male species must always be watchful and vigilant for survival of his species.

He must plant his seed where ever he can to keep his species thriving.

Good excuse huh???

Seriously no logical explanation.

And Men get betrayed too Bambina.....I later discovered my ex wife had been screwing her boss for some time before our divorce!!!

hi snoopy ..

its great excuse IMHO

i know .. men get betrayes .. but it less than girls get.. dont u think so??

actaully its not about sex.. it depends on a "person"

im sorry if people think i try to beat guys ... fact is im " not" just one by one .. many guys are b@stard ... plenty gals re slut

thats life