Security Tightened Around Obese Tourists

[Boater]

BANGKOK – Police have upgraded their security around fat foreigners following the killing of wanted terrorist suspect Osama bin Laden in by US Special Forces in Pakistan.

Although there is no specific evidence of a threat against Thailand, the government has urged heightened vigilance for possible revenge attacks on US-based targets such as the American Embassy and really fat white people.

“Embassies and their staff already have high security, so we think terrorists may just go for the nearest fat farang, since he or she is likely to be a US citizen,” said Metropolitan Police Bureau Division 5 commander Somchai Patcharainto.

“It’s the ultimate soft target,” he added.

Somchai has urged exceptionally fat persons of Caucasian ethnicity to avoid public places for a few weeks, or to mark themselves clearly with German or Canadian flags to discourage possible targeting by persons with ill intent.

Additionally, Bourbon Street restaurant in Washington Square has suspended its Tuesday Mexican Buffet until further notice, citing security concerns and the “unacceptable risk” of gathering 30-40 obese white people in such a confined space.

The heightened security has not been extended to Pattaya, however, where police are confident that sufficient numbers of obese Russians should provide camouflage for American expatriates residing there.

source - http://notthenation.com/2011/05/security-tightened-around-obese-tourists/ - Satire

[Huey]

LoL The bad guys must feel like kids in a candy store here !

[jimbeam1]

, , . Excellent, love it.

jb1

[DP25]

“Embassies and their staff already have high security, so we think terrorists may just go for the nearest fat farang, since he or she is likely to be a US citizen,” said Metropolitan Police Bureau Division 5 commander Somchai Patcharainto.

Not very likely in Thailand, hardly any Americans here, much more likely to be European. Brits are the 3rd fattest nation on Earth and there are a heck of a lot more of them around.

Not as good as their usual work

[nidge]

Brilliant.

[Mrjlh]

<<The heightened security has not been extended to Pattaya, however, where police are confident that sufficient numbers of obese Russians should provide camouflage for American expatriates residing there.>>

Whew...now I feel safe again!

[carmine]

Serves 'em right! I'd get more luggage allowance on my flights if it was'nt for all the fatties on board....

[Mrjlh]

I'm safe...I'm skinny!

[craigt3365]

Let's move this over to the pub...

[Beetlejuice]

Mark myself clearly with a German or Canadian flag?

I`d rather be shot.

Everyone knows that Brits and Yanks make the best targets. That`s because our alter egos are larger.

Edited May 22, 2011 by Beetlejuice

[StreetCowboy]

Mark myself clearly with a German or Canadian flag?

I`d rather be shot.

Everyone knows that Brits and Yanks make the best targets. That`s because our alter egos are larger.

That's spelt 'lager'.

SC

[IanForbes]

The heightened security has not been extended to Pattaya, however, where police are confident that sufficient numbers of obese Russians should provide camouflage for American expatriates residing there.

:lol:

Brilliant! :jap:

I only have one question. Who thinks this stuff up?

[powderpuff]

I need to be saved from those bar girls. They love me too mutt.

[Beetlejuice]

Especially fat people, beware.

[Berkshire]

The heightened security has not been extended to Pattaya, however, where police are confident that sufficient numbers of obese Russians should provide camouflage for American expatriates residing there.

:lol:

Brilliant! :jap:

I only have one question. Who thinks this stuff up?

A skinny person, I'd imagine.

The ultimate "soft target." Funny stuff...

[atyclb]

Any relevance to http://movieseer.com...hite_Buffalo%29 ????

new thai movie called White Buffalo.... about E san girls with western men

E Nang (White Buffalo) Summary: Love has no frontiers, E Nang is a film set in the northeast of Thailand or E San where some girls are fond of dating western guys and having western son-in-law is now trendy in many families in E San. Release Date: May 12, 2011 Rating: น 13+ Genre: Comedy, Romance Duration: 1hr 30mins Actors:Anusara WanthongtakCer James SpainhourChamaiporn SittiworanunPattarapon Toh-ounPrisana WongsiriRungrawan TonahongsaDirector:Chinores Kamwandee