Pregnant By Absent Farang

[sarahsbloke]

Why does it matter what race the man is?

What are the laws in Thailand? I implore you to investigate and take action. Surely Thailand takes care of its citizens in this respect, right?

Why should someone be judged differently than a Thai just because they are of a different race?

The laws in Thailand are no wedding, no responsibility from the man.

Thais are of the opinion that if you want to have a baby with a man, you marry him first.

Under Thai law the baby has no father unless he agrees to marry the lady.

Lady has sole custody and responsibility.

Under UK law you are allowed to trap a man into responsibility by getting pregnant.

But she has no access to UK law as she has no UK VISA ad won't be able to get one.

Theoretically she could apply for Legal Aid in the UK from Thailand, as officially you are entitled, BUT the UK Legal Aid organization will give her the runaround, then find an excuse not to.

(I know as I have tried in the past)

I actually believe the Thai laws are just, in this day and age, it's a womans body and a womans choice.

Men play no part in a womans choice to produce a baby.

[Mario2008]

Hi

is there anyway the the child can get UK or USA (if he was American) citizenship ?

maybe by having a DNA test ?

Same basic story but it was an American.....

BK

By filing a paternity suit a judge can order DNA testing and determine he is the father. Next to having to pay child support, getting the nationality of the father is than possible or even automatic.

[Kilgore Trout]

Does he know he is a father?

Does she have a contact number? He may be very happy to know he is a father!

If not then it is really no different to what happens to hundreds of thousands of Thai ladies here in Thailand every year! Especially with Thai BFs

I wish her luck.

it is not at all different from what happens to women in England, Taiwan, Zimbabwe, Zurich or anywhere else on this planet.

but more to the point, the woman has been left in a lurch. My experience in the matter is rather limited, as i am raising my child.

I am sure she could pursue it in either Thai or English courts, it just depends how far she wants to go, and what she can afford.

To those of you squealing deception, yeah right, turn this around and blame the woman -- they are all whores after all, just like 'er indoors. look no farther than your own hearth for proof.

Since the OP is so concerned about the matter and more specifically as pointed out in the op making it a huge issue that a "farang" did this; I think the op should shoulder all costs associated with having this girl go to England and file a paternity suit.

[electrozebra]

Responsible(sorry, respectable) Thai ladies don't get pregnant to "farang" without being married.

You'll be saying she lives in Pattaya next.

What a crock of BS. Mistakes do not happen? Dates do not get mixed up? Contraception does not get forgotten? Similar mistakes happen the world over to respectable and not so respectable women.

[sarahsbloke]

Responsible(sorry, respectable) Thai ladies don't get pregnant to "farang" without being married.

You'll be saying she lives in Pattaya next.

What a crock of BS. Mistakes do not happen? Dates do not get mixed up? Contraception does not get forgotten? Similar mistakes happen the world over to respectable and not so respectable women.

Morning after pill is available in Thailand in all pharmacy for 40bht.

Don't make up silly excuses for them.

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

Edited May 24, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[ExpatJ]

Sarahsbloke-

Would you agree that if a girl gets pregnant because both she and her guy choose not to use contraceptives and then they both don't bother about following up with the morning after pill- then the guy is equally responsible?

[sarahsbloke]

Sarahsbloke-

Would you agree that if a girl gets pregnant because both she and her guy choose not to use contraceptives and then they both don't bother about following up with the morning after pill- then the guy is equally responsible?

No, if unmarried she should not agree to do that in the first place, her body, her choice to conceive.

But saying that I should also say the Thai girls don't seem to like using condoms, third time and no condom seems to be the rule.

(for the girls I have had sex with anyway)

Edited May 24, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[Shurup]

Morning after pill is available in Thailand in all pharmacy for 40bht.

Don't make up silly excuses for them.

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

x2 to this and your previous post.

No matter what the real story is, it is obvious it's just about the money. Would she go to court and claim the child support would it have been a Thai guy?

[ExpatJ]

Sarahsbloke-

Would you agree that if a girl gets pregnant because both she and her guy choose not to use contraceptives and then they both don't bother about following up with the morning after pill- then the guy is equally responsible?

No, if unmarried she should not agree to do that in the first place, her body, her choice to conceive.

But saying that I should also say the Thai girls don't seem to like using condoms, third time and no condom seems to be the rule.

(for the girls I have had sex with anyway)

I would feel equally responsible for a pregnancy if i had sex knowingly without contraception- its a basic issue of being responsible for ones actions. But quite apart from being responsible- i could not abandon a child of mine to a life of potential poverty, misery and ill health. Im always amazed when guys are ok with abandoning their children, but i also notice that this sort of mentality is generally seen in less well educated, often marginal guys in society- unemployed, drug/alcohol abuse etc., which probably means they are unable to deal with many issues, not just kids in their lives- unfortunately for them.

[sarahsbloke]

Im always amazed when guys are ok with abandoning their children, but i also notice that this sort of mentality is generally seen in less well educated, often marginal guys in society- unemployed, drug/alcohol abuse etc., which probably means they are unable to deal with many issues, not just kids in their lives- unfortunately for them.

I am such a man, I've deserted 4 kids so far, not bothered about doing it again, I intend to breed as often as possible.

I have a degree, postgraduate degree, am fairly wealthy (retired at age 45), no history of drug abuse, no alcohol consumption at all until age 50, but making up for lost time now.

I have been taught that the state takes care of children (in the west), and seems to prefer that to having an unwanted man hanging around the single woman.

On the other hand

If a child of mine (or someone else's) chooses to live with me, I will support them.

Children that get to call someone else 'daddy' are someone else's responsibility.

Edited May 24, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[ExpatJ]

Im always amazed when guys are ok with abandoning their children, but i also notice that this sort of mentality is generally seen in less well educated, often marginal guys in society- unemployed, drug/alcohol abuse etc., which probably means they are unable to deal with many issues, not just kids in their lives- unfortunately for them.

I am such a man, I've deserted 4 kids so far, not bothered about doing it again, I intend to breed as often as possible.

I have a degree, postgraduate degree, am fairly wealthy (retired at age 45), no history of drug abuse, no alcohol consumption at all until age 50, but making up for lost time now.

I have been taught that the state takes care of children (in the west), and seems to prefer that to having an unwanted man hanging around the single woman.

On the other hand

If a child of mine (or someone else's) chooses to live with me, I will support them.

Children that get to call someone else 'daddy' are someone else's responsibility.

I dont think there is a need for me to say anything more after your post

[krangeek]

Well there's a switch. There're a lot of men here in Thailand abrogating their responsibility to maintain their children in the West.

As to the 'lady' in question. Tough luck. I too know of many women here with luek krueng. Next time, insist on a condom, or contraceptive pills are freely available at any local store/supermarket.

[LadyHeather]

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

Did you really mean to post that?

[sarahsbloke]

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

Did you really mean to post that?

Line one, absolutely true

Line two, my wife says, I hope to disprove but so far no luck, every white man/ Thai lady I get to know, my wife was right .... so far.

(I'm not really into pretending my wife was a hi-so educated half Chinese when she was a farm girl who left school at age 13)

Edited May 24, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[ExpatJ]

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

Did you really mean to post that?

Line one, absolutely true

Line two, my wife says, I hope to disprove but so far no luck, every white man/ Thai lady I get to know, my wife was right .... so far.

(I'm not really into pretending my wife was a hi-so educated half Chinese when she was a farm girl who left school at age 13)

Respectable thai ladies obviously marry farangs sometimes- though you need to mix more with the 'expat package', Hi So-ish thai crowd to see these couples.

Its the age difference which counts- i have noticed that in cases where the farang husband is 20+ years older than his thai wife, the wife is close to 100% likely to be cheating behind her older farang husbands back. Whether that makes the wife less respectable i couldn't judge!

Edited May 24, 2011 by ExpatJ

[MiG16]

Lol at that post of: no respectable Thai lady would socialize with farang men

If we don't we are racist

If we do we are not respectable

Look around you:

CEO of big companies, government ministers, maybe one day a prime minister, but for now thailands first lady? Are they expected to not socialize with farangs else be condemned as 'not respectable'?

You need a reality check on how globalized the world has become, if that's really what you believe......

And then on the other hand, regardless of where one is on the social ladder in society, accepting a humane responsibility is not linked to whether one fathered a baby to a 'respectable'' lady

If I have the means to do so, I would. At least financially if I don't want to get involved on an emotional / personal basis

[electrozebra]

Responsible(sorry, respectable) Thai ladies don't get pregnant to "farang" without being married.

You'll be saying she lives in Pattaya next.

What a crock of BS. Mistakes do not happen? Dates do not get mixed up? Contraception does not get forgotten? Similar mistakes happen the world over to respectable and not so respectable women.

Morning after pill is available in Thailand in all pharmacy for 40bht.

Don't make up silly excuses for them.

A respectable Thai lady does not have sex before she is married.

My wife claims a respectable Thai lady does not socialize with white men at all.

Yes, the morning after pill is available but if you do not know your contraception is missed, why would you take the morning after pill??

Some take the injection form of contraceptive that lasts for 3 months and the dates can be missed or forgotten and not deliberately. Maybe they have ill health, other problems to worry about and the date slips their mind? Taking some medications also negates the contraceptive pill. Therefore if they are ill and taking medication they can fall pregnant.

I know quite a few respectable ladies in Thailand who have sex before they are married. Many are in long term relationships and sex is part of that relationship. I'd expect any 'respectable' woman anywhere in the world not to be sleeping around with different men every night.

ROFL if your wife thinks respectable Thai women do not socialise with white men. I can see that being understood of Thai women in Pattaya or other seedy places.

But on topic, I'd doubt the woman could pursue the case of finding the errant father without funds and the proper backing.

[chuang]

A derogatory generalization about women and Thai women has been removed. Keep your bigotry to yourself, thanks.

I am not surprised..such smut keep appearing here..

[Rhys]

Troll

[Beetlejuice]

why is it assumed man is bad guy all the time. responsible thai women use condoms!

Right on.

Also, as one poster quite rightly pointed out, perhaps this guy has no knowledge of the child, plus the woman could have had numerous farangs on the go, who knows?

I would say that this woman’s chances of getting who ever farang is the father of the child to a Thai court is minus plus minus zero.

Only 2 options: If she had adequate funds to visit and stay for a long period in the UK, trace the man, get a court order that imposes the man to take a blood or DNA test to confirm whether or not he is the father of her child and sue in the family UK court for maintenance for herself and the child. Then probably the Child protection agency would become involved to insure that he pays, probably right up until the child reaches the age of 18. This of course depends on if the Thai woman can remain in the UK as this case will have no jurisdiction in the Thai courts.

Or: if the man returns to Thailand to live, the woman could take him to court for maintenance claiming from any income or savings he has either in Thailand or from abroad. But again she would require enough money to do this.

[ExpatJ]

why is it assumed man is bad guy all the time. responsible thai women use condoms!

Right on.

Also, as one poster quite rightly pointed out, perhaps this guy has no knowledge of the child, plus the woman could have had numerous farangs on the go, who knows?

I would say that this woman's chances of getting who ever farang is the father of the child to a Thai court is minus plus minus zero.

Only 2 options: If she had adequate funds to visit and stay for a long period in the UK, trace the man, get a court order that imposes the man to take a blood or DNA test to confirm whether or not he is the father of her child and sue in the family UK court for maintenance for herself and the child. Then probably the Child protection agency would become involved to insure that he pays, probably right up until the child reaches the age of 18. This of course depends on if the Thai woman can remain in the UK as this case will have no jurisdiction in the Thai courts.

Or: if the man returns to Thailand to live, the woman could take him to court for maintenance claiming from any income or savings he has either in Thailand or from abroad. But again she would require enough money to do this.

Third option is naming and shaming- if you know the name/city of someone its fairly easy to use google to get emails of the mans employers, employees, family- and just send some emails explaining what this guy did- and the woman can begin causing problems of the guy.Not a nice thing to do either way!

Edited May 24, 2011 by ExpatJ

[MiG16]

What good would that name and shame achieve?

It won't get her the financial support she may need

Won't get the baby any fatherly care

Not to mention the added emotional distress

A lose lose situation for everyone concerned.

[ExpatJ]

What good would that name and shame achieve?

It won't get her the financial support she may need

Won't get the baby any fatherly care

Not to mention the added emotional distress

A lose lose situation for everyone concerned.

The idea would be to shame the guy into taking some responsibility, helping out his child or at least to get some justly deserved revenge. A friend of mine was forced to resign from his job in order to protect his reputation and future employment chances with a company just a few months ago when his ex gf did a similar thing (it wasn't over a pregnancy issue though). But note I am only talking about this action in cases where the guy did a runner after promising otherwise, not cases where a woman has tried to entrap a man by , for example, claiming to be on the pill when she was not etc.

[trisailer]

Legally, no.

You could try getting someone in the UK to write to him saying that, before your friend instructs solicitors to make a paternity claim, would he like to make a voluntary offer of financial support for his daughter.

It may make his arse twitch - particularly if he is married.

Good idea.

[MiG16]

Whatever the circumstance, I still feel that is a very unwise and malicious move

Sure in anger and despair we all think about all kinds of bad things just to get 'revenge'

But when we come back to reason, hopefully most will realise the foolishness of those ideas before going through with drastic, irreversible action

Imagine say years from now, for whatever reason the father might want to do his fatherly duties, but cannot because of the damage the mother would have cost him and his professional life. Would you want to associate with such a malicious woman? And who suffers in the end? The baby. The most.

On the other hand, if a guy can shun hus fatherly and humane duties now, what makes u think such a selfish person would start taking responsibility because he has been put to shame and/ or made to lose his job?

I don't think it will work.

If she can get legal recourse - that would be best option. If not perhaps appealing to his family? The xhild's grandparents maybe?

Of course failing all that - I hope she is able to manage as a single mom. Difficult, but not impossible. I do wish them the best

[ExpatJ]

Whatever the circumstance, I still feel that is a very unwise and malicious move

Sure in anger and despair we all think about all kinds of bad things just to get 'revenge'

But when we come back to reason, hopefully most will realise the foolishness of those ideas before going through with drastic, irreversible action

Imagine say years from now, for whatever reason the father might want to do his fatherly duties, but cannot because of the damage the mother would have cost him and his professional life. Would you want to associate with such a malicious woman? And who suffers in the end? The baby. The most.

On the other hand, if a guy can shun hus fatherly and humane duties now, what makes u think such a selfish person would start taking responsibility because he has been put to shame and/ or made to lose his job?

I don't think it will work.

If she can get legal recourse - that would be best option. If not perhaps appealing to his family? The xhild's grandparents maybe?

Of course failing all that - I hope she is able to manage as a single mom. Difficult, but not impossible. I do wish them the best

Yes im sympathetic to what you are saying.... maybe its because i have kids my self that i can't bear the thought of children suffering unnecessarily (having to live in relative poverty for exmaple) because some farang guy decided to abandon them and so i think guys like that deserve whatever they get...why should they get off while their child and mother suffers?

[Beetlejuice]

why is it assumed man is bad guy all the time. responsible thai women use condoms!

Right on.

Also, as one poster quite rightly pointed out, perhaps this guy has no knowledge of the child, plus the woman could have had numerous farangs on the go, who knows?

I would say that this woman's chances of getting who ever farang is the father of the child to a Thai court is minus plus minus zero.

Only 2 options: If she had adequate funds to visit and stay for a long period in the UK, trace the man, get a court order that imposes the man to take a blood or DNA test to confirm whether or not he is the father of her child and sue in the family UK court for maintenance for herself and the child. Then probably the Child protection agency would become involved to insure that he pays, probably right up until the child reaches the age of 18. This of course depends on if the Thai woman can remain in the UK as this case will have no jurisdiction in the Thai courts.

Or: if the man returns to Thailand to live, the woman could take him to court for maintenance claiming from any income or savings he has either in Thailand or from abroad. But again she would require enough money to do this.

Third option is naming and shaming- if you know the name/city of someone its fairly easy to use google to get emails of the mans employers, employees, family- and just send some emails explaining what this guy did- and the woman can begin causing problems of the guy.Not a nice thing to do either way!

Good idea to try searching for the man’s details on line and then contacting him, one to one.

But to suggest naming and shaming in the public domain and to third parties is absolutely insane.

Suppose the guy genuinely has no knowledge that he is the father or has been trying to contact the woman without success or worse still that it transpires he is not the father?

And what about the legal implications involved? Defamation, slander and so on.

Just a load of senseless easy talk without foundation or use of common sense.

[sarahsbloke]

why is it assumed man is bad guy all the time. responsible thai women use condoms!

Right on.

Also, as one poster quite rightly pointed out, perhaps this guy has no knowledge of the child, plus the woman could have had numerous farangs on the go, who knows?

I would say that this woman's chances of getting who ever farang is the father of the child to a Thai court is minus plus minus zero.

Only 2 options: If she had adequate funds to visit and stay for a long period in the UK, trace the man, get a court order that imposes the man to take a blood or DNA test to confirm whether or not he is the father of her child and sue in the family UK court for maintenance for herself and the child. Then probably the Child protection agency would become involved to insure that he pays, probably right up until the child reaches the age of 18. This of course depends on if the Thai woman can remain in the UK as this case will have no jurisdiction in the Thai courts.

Or: if the man returns to Thailand to live, the woman could take him to court for maintenance claiming from any income or savings he has either in Thailand or from abroad. But again she would require enough money to do this.

She can't get a VISA to the UK without a UK sponsor, property in Thailand and quite a lot of cash in the bank, so not an option.

Thai courts only attach earnings from Thai jobs, and then only from married men who are errant (100-150 bht per day per child), Thai law, not married, child belongs to woman only.

SO your only two options are actually no options at all.

Edited May 24, 2011 by sarahsbloke

[cardholder]

She can't get a VISA to the UK without a UK sponsor, property in Thailand and quite a lot of cash in the bank, so not an option.

Thai courts only attach earnings from Thai jobs, and then only from married men who are errant (100-150 bht per day per child), Thai law, not married, child belongs to woman only.

SO your only two options are actually no options at all.

They are also so far removed from the real world as to make them impractical.

I repeat, there is no REALISTIC legal recourse. But, if the girl is inclined to make an effort to pursue the child's father, then direct communication should be made.

[prakhonchai nick]

She can't get a VISA to the UK without a UK sponsor, property in Thailand and quite a lot of cash in the bank, so not an option.

Thai courts only attach earnings from Thai jobs, and then only from married men who are errant (100-150 bht per day per child), Thai law, not married, child belongs to woman only.

SO your only two options are actually no options at all.

They are also so far removed from the real world as to make them impractical.

I repeat, there is no REALISTIC legal recourse. But, if the girl is inclined to make an effort to pursue the child's father, then direct communication should be made.

Even direct communication (if she has an address) is costly, and I imagine the few baht she has are needed for the birth.

UK father would probably ignore any letter he received; she would not know whether he received it or not, and any follow up using professionals would be beyond her, unless someone was prepared to do so for a percentage of what they obtained from the father!