Advise That Will Save You A Lifetime Of Pain

[utapaortnab]

If your future plans include living full time or part time in Thailand and you decide to tealok or marry a Thai lady take this thought into consideration.

If you like Bangkok, only date Thai ladies whose families LIVE in Bangkok. If you like Pattaya, only date women whose family are now rooted in Pattaya.

This will keep you from spending the majority of time up-country in bum <deleted> Issan or deep in the south of Thailand, or anywhere else outside YOUR favorite destination, future home area or the area where YOU want to spend the majority of your time in Thailand.

I married the most wonderful Thai lady ever, and for the first 12 years of our married bliss together, we were very happy, mostly because we lived 10 years of that time in America and only then, returned to Thailand to be there for her mother who was ill. In 2005, we returned, and I built a huge home in Chaiyaphum Thailand. I tried for 20 months to adapt to life in the sticks, but I just will never be happy there. Noo one person in the 17 villages of Gudtum speak a word of English, and although I've spent my life working in/living in/visiting 39 countries and all 50 United States, I ONLY speak English. Now I fully realize that in the 39 years total that I've worked in, lived in, or visited Thailand since first being assigned to the U.S. Army Satellite Communications Station at U-Tapao Royal Thai Navy Airbase during the Viet Nam war, and from the first week I was in Thailand (I'd been in 6 others Asian countries B4 stepping foot in Thailand at age 35, I knew Thailand would be my home forever. In Dec 2010 however, forever ended and I find myself back living in Oceanside Ca.

I fully realize it is my problem that I have NO foreign language skills, (even flunked Spanish in college) and my life would have been even more spectacular IF I could speak Thai, Isaan, Kymer, Lao etc. but even if I had full language skills in all the languages mentioned above, I still could never again live in the sticks, in Isaan, in the village.

I know each and every one of you have dreamed at some point of living in full retirement, isolated far from adequate phone services, in an area with no TV, no phones, no hussle and bustle of city life, but believe me, I believe you, like I found myself, were just fooled into believeing that that kind of life is or ever will be sustainable for anyone who has ever lived in a civilized city life situation.

The more free time you have, the more idle hours you have to fill, and to try and do so in an area with less options to fill each day (like offered in Bangkok to the max, in Pattaya to a somewhat lesser max, and in other beach areas of Thailand for those whose lifestyle needs are at a yet lower level, we MUST have places to go, things to do, hundreds of restaurants to choose from, tens of movies to choose from, many shopping malls to choose from, and for those who drink (I cannot because of being an incillin dependent diabetic), hundreds of bars, nightclubs, gogos, massage parlors, whatever floats your boat, rather than living in an area with few or none of these options. If you live in a small village somewhere in Issan, all you can look forward to is your next holiday in Bangkok or Pattaya etc. Believe me!!!!!!!!

Anyhow, I'm not handing out advise, just want each and every member who plans a lifetime of trips or permanent residency in Thailand to have a listen and decide for themselves if what I say has ANY value at all.

At age 75, most people would tell you all my few remaining thoughts are muddled in the past.

Ken

[andrewbkk]

I have met many foreigners living in small villages in Thailand.

Almost all of them have gone insane.

Those that have not gone insane have become chronic alcoholics.

[cardholder]

That is sound advice about thinking seriously about your eventual location.

In the full flush of love lust it is not easy to picture a wet Wednesday in Surin.

The difficult part is that you are most likely to live like a tourist, with your teerak, in Pattaya or Bangkok. It is only after, having dipped your toe in the water, the water gets up to your knees that you have to start making decisions about such things.

There are no training schools or colleges, for this sort of thing, and you probably won't even pick up a copy of Thailand Fever until after you have talked about building a house, etc....

Ken's post is tinged with bitterness, although I doubt that was the intention, and I have sworn to myself that I will never go running back to my home country. I am here for the country and the relationship I have - if I lose either (or both) I will simply move on.

Edited June 1, 2011 by cardholder

[maprao]

Good advice Ken.

Andrew is spot on also.

If your finances will stretch keep the wife happy with the "big house" in the sticks. Get yourself a pad in Bangkok or Patters. Go there as it takes your fancy. Believe me she will follow you!

Life in the village is cheaper. When bored go visit places.

Edited June 1, 2011 by maprao

[Ulysses G.]

I know each and every one of you have dreamed at some point of living in full retirement, isolated far from adequate phone services, in an area with no TV, no phones, no hussle and bustle of city life

Not me. I lived in the sticks right in Chiamg Mai (city) and that was bad enough. Give me a tourist area with all the entertainment and foreign restaurants anytime over boredom in the boonies.

[StreetCowboy]

Take up bird-watching (ornithology) instead of going out to look at the birds.

Buy a bicycle. Ride it.

It's not for me, but desperate times, desperate measures...

I understand there are lots of wholesome pastimes available to people that live in the boondocks

SC

[SantiSuk]

Townies preaching their version of how to live a life .

[coldmike]

In the US when I drive from Chicago and go through Iowa, Kansas, or Nebraska, I see beautiful endless fields of grain and corn, scattered farmhouses and occasional small towns. I've often thought about how peaceful it would be to try living the simple serene life of farmers. I am firmly convinced though that I would love it for a night or two, then go insane. I can't imagine that lifestyle in Thailand where language is also another barrier on top of all else. I completely agree that unless you are a true farmboy, I would try to stay with city girls or make sure that up-country girls will be happy living in a big city with occasional visits home to family.

[billd766]

I have been living in the sticks part time since 2003 due to offshore work commitments and full time since I retired and I don't regret a thing.

Now every time I go to a big city such as BKK I go there for a specific reason and get out as soon as I possibly can.

Most cities are dirty, full of pollution, too crowded, too much traffic and far too expensive.

I have a motorbike that I can go out riding on and unlike BKK I am on a clear road from just outside my front gate.

My wife has 10 rai that we live on which backs onto a national park, fresh air in plenty and room to move.

Granted that my Thai is poor but I have to improve it and part of my problem is that sometimes there is not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do.

I know of 15 or so farangs who live much the same way that I do and are not interested in living in a gated ghetto in Pattaya or Phuket, surrounded by razor wire and broken glass on the top of the 2 metre high wall around the property.

I wave and smile at the kids going to and from the schools and also to their parents and 95% or more of the time I get genuine smiles back.

I can leave my car or motorbike in the village with the key in it while I go shopping or get a haircut and it will still be there when I get back. I can laugh and joke in fractured Thai and Thinglish with the people at the markets where I pay the same as the Thai next to me.

Pain, not really, but pleasure and enjoyment.

There are many people like me living a happy and contented life in rural Thailand that you rarely hear about because good news doesn't sell and there are far more unhappy farangs in Thailand who are miserable and unhappy and they are the sort of people who open threads on TV moaning about Thailand and Thais.

To be honest, if you have your own teeth( I have some), your own hair (I have less) and you are healthy Thailand is a great place to be, even the rain is warm most of the time.

[villagefarang]

After more than thirty years in Bangkok, I now live the happy life of a country squire. Life is wonderful more than fifty kilometers from Chiang Rai.

It is more the person than the place but surrounded by nature and beautiful views, yet in touch with the world through the internet, I want for nothing.

[lovelaos]

I have been living in the sticks part time since 2003 due to offshore work commitments and full time since I retired and I don't regret a thing.

Now every time I go to a big city such as BKK I go there for a specific reason and get out as soon as I possibly can.

Most cities are dirty, full of pollution, too crowded, too much traffic and far too expensive.

I have a motorbike that I can go out riding on and unlike BKK I am on a clear road from just outside my front gate.

My wife has 10 rai that we live on which backs onto a national park, fresh air in plenty and room to move.

Granted that my Thai is poor but I have to improve it and part of my problem is that sometimes there is not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do.

I know of 15 or so farangs who live much the same way that I do and are not interested in living in a gated ghetto in Pattaya or Phuket, surrounded by razor wire and broken glass on the top of the 2 metre high wall around the property.

I wave and smile at the kids going to and from the schools and also to their parents and 95% or more of the time I get genuine smiles back.

I can leave my car or motorbike in the village with the key in it while I go shopping or get a haircut and it will still be there when I get back. I can laugh and joke in fractured Thai and Thinglish with the people at the markets where I pay the same as the Thai next to me.

Pain, not really, but pleasure and enjoyment.

There are many people like me living a happy and contented life in rural Thailand that you rarely hear about because good news doesn't sell and there are far more unhappy farangs in Thailand who are miserable and unhappy and they are the sort of people who open threads on TV moaning about Thailand and Thais.

To be honest, if you have your own teeth( I have some), your own hair (I have less) and you are healthy Thailand is a great place to be, even the rain is warm most of the time.

I was just going to write a similar post. I think when you have had a fruitful life you appreciate living in a quieter, safer, freindlier environment when you get a bit older.

I am only 39 but the country life suits me fine, a big difference for me is having a freind of 20+ years living not far away so a weekly beer or 2 and a moan about the Mrs, locals, weather, etc etc keeps us both sane.

[Semper]

And for the suckers that already got married. What should we do?

[up-country_sinclair]

I enjoy the countryside. Cities are for visiting. Briefly.

[Millard]

I enjoy the countryside. Cities are for visiting. Briefly.

Funny, I feel the same, but in reverse. I love the countryside, but more than a week would drive me insane. I've had the privilege of spending some time in rural areas and stayed with a buddy and his family. Wonderful, friendly, warm, and genuine people. Also, you can see the stars and actually hear silence at night. All those things are delightfully foreign to a city boy such as myself. Though after several days, my friend who grew up in that area and I were more than ready to return to civilization.

[David006]

Lots of reasons why retirees actually prefer the quieter life in the boonies. Personally hanging out in malls and restaurants and movie theaters gets to be a bit of a yawn after a while...

Think retirement can sometimes be a touch boring wherever you hang your hat....life is what you make it...do what you enjoy doing/not doing wherever ....per the old saw...this life ain't no rehearsal...

[maprao]

I

There are many people like me living a happy and contented life in rural Thailand that you rarely hear about because good news doesn't sell and there are far more unhappy farangs in Thailand who are miserable and unhappy and they are the sort of people who open threads on TV moaning about Thailand and Thais.

You hit the nail on the head here. You only ever hear about bad things. People rarely write about good things that happen to them on forums.

[jumbo]

Personally I think not speaking sufficient Thai is a good thing when surrounded by Thai

They chitter-chatter all day about nothing + nothing...

I wouldn't even want to understand it...

basics such as needed for shopping and ordering a beer is more than adequate...

Every now and than a weekend in Bangkok is more than enough....

mostly for shopping things you can't get in the sticks

[Honolulu]

You need some hobbies. You will need some hobbies eventually when you retire, so you might as well figure it out now.

[kokesaat]

We've lived very happily in the countryside for 14 years......close enough to town to pop in for a good meal, but far enough away not to pop in every day.

My recommendations to all who dare choose to live here:

- Under no circumstances live close to the in-laws. That free piece of land next door to the in-laws might save you some cash, but it'll lead to misery in the end.

- Don't build anything you can't afford to walk away from....whether the marriage doesn't work out or whether Thailand isn't to your liking after a few years.

- If you can't live without a regular dose of western food, then don't live in the jungle.

- Stop convincing yourself that you can't learn Thai. If you reallllly believe you can't learn some Thai, then living here will be painful. You won't be able to read any store signs, you'll be near completely dependent on your mate for help buying a car, shopping, bargaining, engaging with local officials over water/electric/other problems, etc. Put the shoe on the other foot and imagine your mate living in your country and not learning the language.

- Stop hoping that the exchange rate goes back to what it was in the early 2000's. It might, but it probably won't. Be prepared for the historic worse exchange rate....and maybe even a few baht less than the worse exchange rate.

- If you don't like dirty politics or politics that is beyond your comprehension, if you don't like dealing with corruption (even if only with cops on the take), if you can't stand seeing people throw their trash in the klongs, if you can't stand mangy roaming dogs, then look for another place to live.

Thailand may not be for everyone, but for some, even for some of us who don't live next to a Villa Market or next to another falang, Thailand can be paradise.

[KarenBravo]

- Don't build anything you can't afford to walk away from....whether the marriage doesn't work out or whether Thailand isn't to your liking after a few years.

This one always makes me laugh.

Build a house out in the sticks and eventually try to sell?

Who is going to buy it?

[ozzieovaseas]

- Don't build anything you can't afford to walk away from....whether the marriage doesn't work out or whether Thailand isn't to your liking after a few years.

This one always makes me laugh.

Build a house out in the sticks and eventually try to sell?

Who is going to buy it?

^^ I don't think he was talking about selling it, more like walking away from it when the marriage ends, or wife goes insane, or you go insane, or you run out of money. or all of the above

Imagine trying to sell your house which is on the inlaws land...and then actually trying to get any money out of them

[khaowong1]

And for the suckers that already got married. What should we do?

Depends on where you live. If you live out in the sticks, get aquainted with your local temple and the monks there. It's not only good for you, it will go a long way to making you acceptable to the local population. After you get to know your temple, the abbot and the other monks, if you don't mind losing some hair, you might even ordain for a week. You would be surprised what it will do for your image. Not to mention your soul.

Edited June 5, 2011 by khaowong1

[ScubaBuddha]

I have been living in the sticks part time since 2003 due to offshore work commitments and full time since I retired and I don't regret a thing.

Now every time I go to a big city such as BKK I go there for a specific reason and get out as soon as I possibly can.

Most cities are dirty, full of pollution, too crowded, too much traffic and far too expensive.

I have a motorbike that I can go out riding on and unlike BKK I am on a clear road from just outside my front gate.

My wife has 10 rai that we live on which backs onto a national park, fresh air in plenty and room to move.

Granted that my Thai is poor but I have to improve it and part of my problem is that sometimes there is not enough time in the day to do all the things I want to do.

I know of 15 or so farangs who live much the same way that I do and are not interested in living in a gated ghetto in Pattaya or Phuket, surrounded by razor wire and broken glass on the top of the 2 metre high wall around the property.

I wave and smile at the kids going to and from the schools and also to their parents and 95% or more of the time I get genuine smiles back.

I can leave my car or motorbike in the village with the key in it while I go shopping or get a haircut and it will still be there when I get back. I can laugh and joke in fractured Thai and Thinglish with the people at the markets where I pay the same as the Thai next to me.

Pain, not really, but pleasure and enjoyment.

There are many people like me living a happy and contented life in rural Thailand that you rarely hear about because good news doesn't sell and there are far more unhappy farangs in Thailand who are miserable and unhappy and they are the sort of people who open threads on TV moaning about Thailand and Thais.

To be honest, if you have your own teeth( I have some), your own hair (I have less) and you are healthy Thailand is a great place to be, even the rain is warm most of the time.

My gated Phuket ghetto surrounded by razor wire and broken glass on the top of the 2 metre high wall. lol

Edited June 5, 2011 by ScubaBuddha

[Forethat]

I know each and every one of you have dreamed at some point of living in full retirement, isolated far from adequate phone services, in an area with no TV, no phones, no hussle and bustle of city life

Ehh...no, I have never dreamt of anything like this. Ever. Edited June 5, 2011 by Forethat

[ozzieovaseas]

I know each and every one of you have dreamed at some point of living in full retirement, isolated far from adequate phone services, in an area with no TV, no phones, no hussle and bustle of city life

Ehh...no, I have never dreamt of anything like this. Ever.

are dreams the same as nightmares?

[cobra]

I know each and every one of you have dreamed at some point of living in full retirement, isolated far from adequate phone services, in an area with no TV, no phones, no hussle and bustle of city life

Ehh...no, I have never dreamt of anything like this. Ever.

are dreams the same as nightmares?

What he said,

I start to stress when ever I lose a bar on my smart phone's signal strength,

Rural is for farmers and those "put out to the farm",

Don't forget the major punishment in any penal system is isolation,

that's because it works, unending boredom, relentless tedium, uh, no thanks, I'll pass.

Edited June 5, 2011 by cobra

[villagefarang]

By all means, feel sorry for us inmates and country bumpkins.

[merlen10002]

I

There are many people like me living a happy and contented life in rural Thailand that you rarely hear about because good news doesn't sell and there are far more unhappy farangs in Thailand who are miserable and unhappy and they are the sort of people who open threads on TV moaning about Thailand and Thais.

You hit the nail on the head here. You only ever hear about bad things. People rarely write about good things that happen to them on forums.

I agree, I live in Bangkok and travel up country every few weeks, have seen most of Thailand, always have a good time, live in a non Farang area, not expensive, love living in Thailand,,, it is what you make it,,,, if you are a sex crazy alcoholic Pattaya is a great place especially if you like being ripped off, Phuket is the same.

[Razzler1973]

By all means, feel sorry for us inmates and country bumpkins.

Jeez, is that your gaff??

[Semper]

And for the suckers that already got married. What should we do?

Depends on where you live. If you live out in the sticks, get aquainted with your local temple and the monks there. It's not only good for you, it will go a long way to making you acceptable to the local population. After you get to know your temple, the abbot and the other monks, if you don't mind losing some hair, you might even ordain for a week. You would be surprised what it will do for your image. Not to mention your soul.

Any ideas where I should send the wife, during this temple session?