Bad Day At Work !

[boogie]

Next time you have a bad day at work, think of this guy........

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Mayo. He

performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an email he

sent to his sister. She then sent it to RnaG (Irish radio station) in

Galway, who was sponsoring a worst job experience contest. Needless to say,

she won.

Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad

day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so

thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so

bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few

technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the

sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is

this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece

of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful

temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose,

which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and

I've used it several times with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and

stuff it down the back of my wet suit. This floods my whole suit with warm

water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of sudden, my butt started to itch. So,

of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse.

Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my

back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened. The

hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick

to it. However, the crack of my ar@e was not as fortunate. When I scratched

what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the

crack of my ar@e.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His

instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other

divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three

agonizing in-water decompression stops totalling thirty-five minutes before

I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my ar@e

as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my

hole was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse

it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your backside.

[Jai Dee]

...but I couldn't poop for two days because my hole was swollen shut.