A Question About Gifts

[carrera66]

Hi all... I've been emailing a Thai lady for about 2 weeks and it seems things are going pretty well. Hopefully if things continue I will get to visit her in a few months. In the meantime I was thinking of sending her a gift. I was curious if things like flowers and chocolate are good gifts to give a Thai woman. I've never been to Asia and I'm trying to learn the culture and customs. Any other tips on courting a Thai woman would be appreciated.

[TheWalkingMan]

That sounds nice, but 2 weeks seems a little soon to send a gift. Why not wait a few months before sending any gifts. Unfortunately, for some, once you start sending gifts it will be expected that you always send gifts. Additionally, if this is something started via email, then you should expect that you are not the only person she is in contact with.

Ideally, you should be emailing/chatting with a few women as typically, you hold all the economic cards and you should be looking for someone who matches what you are looking for. All the eggs in one basket via email is not good.

Have you spoken with her or chatted via webcam? Sometimes that sweet girl can turn out to be a guy trying to squeeze funds out of you.

As far as courting any woman, just be yourself and do not become lost in the mystic of dating a Thai woman. They, like all women, run the gamut of sweet, supportive and great to be around to those who would rather climb a tree and tell you a lie rather than stand on the ground and tell you the truth.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

[Warhammer820]

^completely agree. where is she from, how old is she and where does she work? I am asking these question for gift ideas and other reasons.

Edited June 24, 2011 by Warhammer820

[carrera66]

That sounds nice, but 2 weeks seems a little soon to send a gift. Why not wait a few months before sending any gifts. Unfortunately, for some, once you start sending gifts it will be expected that you always send gifts. Additionally, if this is something started via email, then you should expect that you are not the only person she is in contact with.

Ideally, you should be emailing/chatting with a few women as typically, you hold all the economic cards and you should be looking for someone who matches what you are looking for. All the eggs in one basket via email is not good.

Have you spoken with her or chatted via webcam? Sometimes that sweet girl can turn out to be a guy trying to squeeze funds out of you.

As far as courting any woman, just be yourself and do not become lost in the mystic of dating a Thai woman. They, like all women, run the gamut of sweet, supportive and great to be around to those who would rather climb a tree and tell you a lie rather than stand on the ground and tell you the truth.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

Thanks for the advise. I've been talking with several other women and some of them were either trying to scam me or others just didn't have it for me. This one I like and so far so good. I'm a pretty cautious and I always thinking if someone is trying to screw me over. Also this is not the my first time at meeting some online. I was married to a Venezuelan woman for 5 years and for the most part it was a good marriage, it just didn't work out in the end. Now I'm back in the game looking east. I imagine most women anywhere in the world like flowers or little gifts but I just thought I'd ask from a Thai perspective.

^completely agree. where is she from, how old is she and where does she work? I am asking these question for gift ideas and other reasons.

Originally from the NE, working and going to school in chon buri (?), 32 yrs and an accountant.

Edited June 24, 2011 by carrera66

[Warhammer820]

ok, well if she is in chonburi, then i think you are ok. Girls from issan are generally less fortunate financially and SOME (not all) are looking for money to send back home. If you really want to get her a gift, then give her something small. Thai women seem to melt for miniatures, so get her something small.

That sounds nice, but 2 weeks seems a little soon to send a gift. Why not wait a few months before sending any gifts. Unfortunately, for some, once you start sending gifts it will be expected that you always send gifts. Additionally, if this is something started via email, then you should expect that you are not the only person she is in contact with.

Ideally, you should be emailing/chatting with a few women as typically, you hold all the economic cards and you should be looking for someone who matches what you are looking for. All the eggs in one basket via email is not good.

Have you spoken with her or chatted via webcam? Sometimes that sweet girl can turn out to be a guy trying to squeeze funds out of you.

As far as courting any woman, just be yourself and do not become lost in the mystic of dating a Thai woman. They, like all women, run the gamut of sweet, supportive and great to be around to those who would rather climb a tree and tell you a lie rather than stand on the ground and tell you the truth.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

Thanks for the advise. I've been talking with several other women and some of them were either trying to scam me or others just didn't have it for me. This one I like and so far so good. I'm a pretty cautious and I always thinking if someone is trying to screw me over. Also this is not the my first time at meeting some online. I was married to a Venezuelan woman for 5 years and for the most part it was a good marriage, it just didn't work out in the end. Now I'm back in the game looking east. I imagine most women anywhere in the world like flowers or little gifts but I just thought I'd ask.

^completely agree. where is she from, how old is she and where does she work? I am asking these question for gift ideas and other reasons.

Originally from the NE, working and going to school in chon buri (?), 32 yrs and an accountant.

[carrera66]

^Thanks!

[billaaa777]

I was curious if things like flowers and chocolate are good gifts to give a Thai woman.

They like gold much better. Does it get any worse than this, two weeks of emails and he wants to start sending gifts. But, he cannot come over for a few months.

[zzaa09]

I was curious if things like flowers and chocolate are good gifts to give a Thai woman.

They like gold much better. Does it get any worse than this, two weeks of emails and he wants to start sending gifts. But, he cannot come over for a few months.

Probably looking to secure his prize for future considerations.

[metisdead]

An inflammatory reply has been removed. To others, if you can't offer constructive advice, then better to not post at all.

[outofoz]

Is there a woman that doesn't like chocolates or flowers??

Having sent chololates myself to Thailand I would advise against it... By the time they get there they have melted beyond recognition... and the times i have sent them customs inspected the parcel.

[jackdawson]

i don't know , when it came down to it , all the girls i know just said it was easier if i just gave them cash

[carrera66]

I was curious if things like flowers and chocolate are good gifts to give a Thai woman.

They like gold much better. Does it get any worse than this, two weeks of emails and he wants to start sending gifts. But, he cannot come over for a few months.

I'll try not be so 'inflammatory' this time.... billaaa thanks for absolutely nothing.

Having sent chololates myself to Thailand I would advise against it... By the time they get there they have melted beyond recognition... and the times i have sent them customs inspected the parcel.

Good point and one I haven't thought of.

i don't know , when it came down to it , all the girls i know just said it was easier if i just gave them cash

Your right that's typically what a bar girl would want. I mean why try to be romantic right?

[sbk]

From a woman's perspective two weeks is too early to start sending gifts. If she isn't after anything other than a nice partner in her life she may find it excessive and early. If she is after something more financially rewarding then you have merely shown her you are a good mark.

But, if its a gift you must send then send flowers via one of the online services that delivers flowers in Thailand, just don't send roses.

[carrera66]

From a woman's perspective two weeks is too early to start sending gifts. If she isn't after anything other than a nice partner in her life she may find it excessive and early. If she is after something more financially rewarding then you have merely shown her you are a good mark.

But, if its a gift you must send then send flowers via one of the online services that delivers flowers in Thailand, just don't send roses.

Thanks for your input. I understand what your saying. I wasn't going to hurry out and send her a gift tomorrow, I'm just trying about learn about the culture and if things continue to go well then know what would be best and get some ideas.

[dunkin2012]

this book?

she will love you more..........really!!!!

[Ricardo]

this book?

she will love you more..........really!!!!

Or perhaps a calculator ... the gift that really does count ?

Seriously though, take it very slow at-the-start, once you've established your pattern-of-giving, it's very hard to cut back, but always easy to show occasional extra generosity !

Edited June 25, 2011 by Ricardo

[Trembly]

Awrite awrite awrite! Point of comprehension boys and girls . . . she is from the North East, and is now working in Chonburi. Got that? She is from Isaan, and is working in the province that is home to the Municipality of Pattaya.

Because generalisations are true in general, you are welcome to call me a generalising cynical git. This is what floated through my head : Is 'accountant' a euphemism? Maybe she does count money for a living, if only practically. Cashier perhaps. Maybe she counts so much money from so many different places that she regards herself as a bit of an accountant. Maybe she just plucked that out of thin air because it sounded respectable.

Maybe she really is an accountant.

The lordhead knows . . . good luck and just enjoy the ride whatever you do.

Edited June 25, 2011 by Trembly

[Trembly]

That sounds nice, but 2 weeks seems a little soon to send a gift. Why not wait a few months before sending any gifts. Unfortunately, for some, once you start sending gifts it will be expected that you always send gifts. Additionally, if this is something started via email, then you should expect that you are not the only person she is in contact with.

Ideally, you should be emailing/chatting with a few women as typically, you hold all the economic cards and you should be looking for someone who matches what you are looking for. All the eggs in one basket via email is not good.

Have you spoken with her or chatted via webcam? Sometimes that sweet girl can turn out to be a guy trying to squeeze funds out of you.

As far as courting any woman, just be yourself and do not become lost in the mystic of dating a Thai woman. They, like all women, run the gamut of sweet, supportive and great to be around to those who would rather climb a tree and tell you a lie rather than stand on the ground and tell you the truth.

Good luck!

TheWalkingMan

Thanks for the advise. I've been talking with several other women and some of them were either trying to scam me or others just didn't have it for me. This one I like and so far so good. I'm a pretty cautious and I always thinking if someone is trying to screw me over. Also this is not the my first time at meeting some online. I was married to a Venezuelan woman for 5 years and for the most part it was a good marriage, it just didn't work out in the end. Now I'm back in the game looking east. I imagine most women anywhere in the world like flowers or little gifts but I just thought I'd ask from a Thai perspective.

^completely agree. where is she from, how old is she and where does she work? I am asking these question for gift ideas and other reasons.

Originally from the NE, working and going to school in chon buri (?), 32 yrs and an accountant.

My bold : Gifts are a big part of Thai culture. Thai people bring each other gifts all the time, whether it's a bag of assorted chopped fruit that you bought on your lunch break for your office-mates or a rarity from your home province for the person who helped you fill in that visa application etc.

With this category of gift - which is by and large platonic (its the only category your gift can fit in with any decorum) - it's really the thought that counts. It just shows that you thought about that person(s) and you're interested in building a rapport and relationship of whatever kind.

Something that is inexpensive but considerate / useful / funny / kind / clever is what you're after here. Do you have any in-jokes yet? How about something that shows that you picked up on something about her that she didn't intentionally communicate?

Edited June 25, 2011 by Trembly

[sbk]

Point here being they bring gifts. Sending gifts from abroad to someone you just met online?

If the OP continues the relationship, and if he comes to Thailand to meet her in person then a gift from home would be totally appropriate. Thai women generally love the brand name items, purse or bag, perfume or cosmetics.

[carrera66]

this book?

she will love you more..........really!!!!

Or perhaps a calculator ... the gift that really does count ?

Seriously though, take it very slow at-the-start, once you've established your pattern-of-giving, it's very hard to cut back, but always easy to show occasional extra generosity !

Haha thanks for that.

[Mossfinn]

Because generalisations are true in general, you are welcome to call me a generalising cynical git.

Generally speaking, I know quite a few people from the North East and not one plays the Great Game, ........

if you swim with sharks, take a good look around you.

As for gifts, I once sent an Easter egg, I wouldn't send another

[carrera66]

Awrite awrite awrite! Point of comprehension boys and girls . . . she is from the North East, and is now working in Chonburi. Got that? She is from Isaan, and is working in the province that is home to the Municipality of Pattaya.

Because generalisations are true in general, you are welcome to call me a generalising cynical git. This is what floated through my head : Is 'accountant' a euphemism? Maybe she does count money for a living, if only practically. Cashier perhaps. Maybe she counts so much money from so many different places that she regards herself as a bit of an accountant. Maybe she just plucked that out of thin air because it sounded respectable.

Maybe she really is an accountant.

The lordhead knows . . . good luck and just enjoy the ride whatever you do.

I not asking whether she is for real or if maybe she's a hooker in Pattaya, but people are entitled to their cynical views.

My bold : Gifts are a big part of Thai culture. Thai people bring each other gifts all the time, whether it's a bag of assorted chopped fruit that you bought on your lunch break for your office-mates or a rarity from your home province for the person who helped you fill in that visa application etc.

With this category of gift - which is by and large platonic (its the only category your gift can fit in with any decorum) - it's really the thought that counts. It just shows that you thought about that person(s) and you're interested in building a rapport and relationship of whatever kind.

Something that is inexpensive but considerate / useful / funny / kind / clever is what you're after here. Do you have any in-jokes yet? How about something that shows that you picked up on something about her that she didn't intentionally communicate?

This is what I was looking for thanks. I haven't picked up on anything like that but I'll keep it in mind.

Point here being they bring gifts. Sending gifts from abroad to someone you just met online?

If the OP continues the relationship, and if he comes to Thailand to meet her in person then a gift from home would be totally appropriate. Thai women generally love the brand name items, purse or bag, perfume or cosmetics.

And it might be that I won't send anything, I'll see how it goes. I might wait till we meet but If do give her something it would likely be flowers from a local place as someone suggested, rather then sending something overseas.

[Trembly]

Because generalisations are true in general, you are welcome to call me a generalising cynical git.

Generally speaking, I know quite a few people from the North East and not one plays the Great Game, ........

if you swim with sharks, take a good look around you.

As for gifts, I once sent an Easter egg, I wouldn't send another

I don't see how you knowing of quite a few people from Isaan who are not prostitutes contradicts my relation of a schematically and empirically faithful generalisation based on the overwhelming demographic origin of girls working in Chonburi who are not native to the province + the overwhelming profession of said demographic group in said location.

I'm a bit hard of context you see . . .

(To the OP . . . . of course, an accountant from Isaan working in Chonburi could well be working in the accounts department of a Pattaya business that does not sell sex, or perhaps in one of the many factories in Laemchabang, or that Harbor Mall place).

Edited June 25, 2011 by Trembly

[Mossfinn]

my relation of a schematically and empirically faithful generalisation based on the overwhelming demographic origin of girls working in Chonburi who are not native to the province + the overwhelming profession of said demographic group in said location.

Wow.....

And I was just generally speaking...........watch out for them sharks

[GM1955]

Usually I would have concern for the Thai lady, not the Farang.

[Trembly]

Er . . . how is stating that none of the Isaan people who you know are prostitutes a generalisation?

[IanForbes]

In answer to the OP's question, I wouldn't send anything other than your good wishes. Anything other than a simple letter through the mail from a foreign country only has a 50% chance of getting to its destination. Never, never, never overwhelm a Thai woman with gifts. It sets a dangerous president and might be expected should the romance continue in the furture. Anything we might say here about your situation with this woman is purely speculation, because none of us know the facts. There are true diamonds scattered amongst a room full of fake jewelry.

[Trembly]

Double post.

Edited June 25, 2011 by Trembly

[Trembly]

In answer to the OP's question, I wouldn't send anything other than your good wishes. Anything other than a simple letter through the mail from a foreign country only has a 50% chance of getting to its destination. Never, never, never overwhelm a Thai woman with gifts. It sets a dangerous president and might be expected should the romance continue in the furture. Anything we might say here about your situation with this woman is purely speculation, because none of us know the facts. There are true diamonds scattered amongst a room full of fake jewelry.

Seconded. Ol' Man Forbes knows his stuff (just goes to show that its got nothing to do with being a falang)!

[Mossfinn]

In answer to the OP's question, I wouldn't send anything other than your good wishes. Anything other than a simple letter through the mail from a foreign country only has a 50% chance of getting to its destination. Never, never, never overwhelm a Thai woman with gifts. It sets a dangerous president and might be expected should the romance continue in the furture. Anything we might say here about your situation with this woman is purely speculation, because none of us know the facts. There are true diamonds scattered amongst a room full of fake jewelry.

Apart from anything else in your post Ian, is there anthing remotely like schematic? or emperical evidence in regard to the 50% record of the Thai postal service, you may be right, although it is not my experience, just wondering how you have come to the conclusion?

I am having a little giggle really, but it would be good to know, as any evidence could influence my decisions on future postal transactions.