Are All Thai Boys Spoiled?

[somtampet]

Yes the whole male population of thai people are lazy.

That's what you are looking for right? One lazy kid in YOUR family & you get the idea that this is a country wide issue?? amazing farang.

Where the hell did he say that,have i missed something ????????

[bunta71]

I was sitting at a sidewalk cafe waiting for my meal, and beside me was a Thai man along with his son whom I would guess to be about 11 or 12 years old. Between the father and son was a large blue fish box being used as a table. On top of the table was a sack of candy that was being consumed by the son who was already morbidly obese. Along comes the mother with a plastic bag full of typical Thai food in the styrofoam boxes. As she laid out the meal, the kid had his foot up on the table/ box. The father loudly told the boy to get his foot off the table. The kid never moved his foot off the table and the family ate their food. The kid never said anything until they had finished eating all the while with his dirty shoes still in the middle of what was left of the meal. The kid then finally spoke. He ordered his mom off somewhere and she returned in a couple minutes with another bag of candy. Spoiled??? If I had disrespected my father AND my culture as this punk did I would be missing more teeth than I already am now. Surreal to me.

[zzaa09]

E-du-ca-tion

If you mean sending them to a uni. Think again, many af them are hanging around shoppingmalls all day.

No education in its first Latin meaning : GUIDANCE, ie real parents with real parenting skills who believe abilities are not related to gender, and teach their children to take part in household work regardless of their gender

Yes I know what you mean. But the parents nowadays don't do this. Maybe it's a show off thing. We have enough money to buy our children motorcycles, laptops etc.. and they don't have to do any household chores? Who knows

Yes, money solves everything. The great healer and conduit of life.....

[mataus101]

they are treated slightly better by the parents then the daughters are, daughter do the majority of the house work whilst the boys play.

thai girls tell me its because the boy can become a monk, i dont know but that what they say.

[zzaa09]

they are treated slightly better by the parents then the daughters are, daughter do the majority of the house work whilst the boys play.

thai girls tell me its because the boy can become a monk, i dont know but that what they say.

Never met a Nun from your local Wat?

[Geekfreaklover]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countires, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

Bingo. I think you nailed it. However, I have noticed that second hand parents seem to have more problems than do parents of the children they've raised since babies. I don't think grand parents are the best at raising young children. They just don't have the interest or energy. Maybe that is the case that the OP is using as an example. There are a LOT of grandmothers looking after young children in Thailand. From my observations that is the norm rather than the exception.

I read some statistics earlier in the year that sugested as many as 40 percent of Thai children are raised by their grandparents or other extended family members. This figure seems fair - it could well be more. Many grandparents do often make great guardians who teach morals etc. The problems is that many primary careers are often poorly educated/ illiterate while at the same time valuing education and how it could help the young. They are unable to teach at home. It's a case of opportunity, or lack of. I think if a child is taught early on that he or she has a skilll that they can use to make a better life then they will try to do so rather than living on the chairty of others. So yes, it's an education thing, and education is certainly not all about what happens at school.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Geekfreaklover

[mataus101]

my wife was a nun and her brother is a monk now,

she agrees with me

boys are favoured in thai society.

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

[zzaa09]

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

Yet, the girls are really running the show.

Bit of an Asian paradox, yes?

[mataus101]

thai men will never admit it, but often there girls are the boss behind closed doors

[talk2sam]

Thai Boys are favored, even the girls have come to accept that...My ex- thai GF has a brother that plays computer games all day, and get served 3 meals in front of his computer...I dont say anything coz He allows me to shag his sister in the parents house so what the hell...

[aneliane]

Thai Boys are favored, even the girls have come to accept that...My ex- thai GF has a brother that plays computer games all day, and get served 3 meals in front of his computer...I dont say anything coz He allows me to shag his sister in the parents house so what the hell...

Agreed : It's part of the whole cultural scheme :

- the girl trains to be a wife/mother (ie 24/7 maid) to be sold to her future husband (sinsod)

- the boy destined to be a breadwinner perfects his machismo skills as future pig perfectly uncapable to look after himself. So before he gets a job, will do absolutely nothing

[Heng]

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

Yet, the girls are really running the show.

Bit of an Asian paradox, yes?

Don't agree with that, this is probably one of the worst places for women to be born. It's a highly patriarchal society with men holding just about all of the cards (the 'talented' Yingluck and a few hundred women captains of industry the exception). One still hears of girls not being allowed to further their education while the boys in the family are fully supported. Plenty of driven women out there of course... but I think it's more one of those things like 'bald men try harder.' They get the crap end of the stick in life and know they need to be more focused.

Later in life though, at least in families that follow the traditional Chinese school of thought, true, the reins are often eventually handed to the women. This tends to coincide with how male competitiveness declines more with age (and declining testosterone levels) than women and is a well worn design.

[Latindancer]

No, all Thai boys are not spolied.

My three luk-kurung kids aren't and the vast majority of the thousands I've taught over the years aren't spoiled.

Bad parenting can be found in all countries, normally within very poor or very rich family units. There seems to be this parental mentality that if you let them do what they want then they won't bother you. Nothing could be further from the truth. This goes for girls too.

Bingo. I think you nailed it. However, I have noticed that second hand parents seem to have more problems than do parents of the children they've raised since babies. I don't think grand parents are the best at raising young children. They just don't have the interest or energy. Maybe that is the case that the OP is using as an example. There are a LOT of grandmothers looking after young children in Thailand. From my observations that is the norm rather than the exception.

I read some statistics earlier in the year that suggested as many as 40 percent of Thai children are raised by their grandparents or other extended family members. This figure seems fair - it could well be more. Many grandparents do often make great guardians who teach morals etc. The problems is that many primary carers are often poorly educated/ illiterate while at the same time valuing education and how it could help the young. They are unable to teach at home. It's a case of opportunity, or lack of. I think if a child is taught early on that he or she has a skill that they can use to make a better life then they will try to do so rather than living on the charity of others. So yes, it's an education thing, and education is certainly not all about what happens at school.

I agree. It all starts very early on in childhood. Errors become compounded and feed on themselves. One of the best things people here could do is read to their children and encourage them to be interested in the world, so when they have learned to read they then educate themselves, with guidance from their teachers. I have just proved this with my wife's young nephew, for whom I bought some books for his mother to read to him at bedtime. He has changed a lot, they have bonded more closely, and if he misbehaves it's no story that night for him.

However, unfortunately there are those deluded and ignorant souls who still think:

Bamboo sticks is the way forward. When i was at school it was the belt - that's also served it's purpose!!!

Good grief !

Edited September 12, 2011 by Latindancer

[zzaa09]

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

Yet, the girls are really running the show.

Bit of an Asian paradox, yes?

Don't agree with that, this is probably one of the worst places for women to be born. It's a highly patriarchal society with men holding just about all of the cards (the 'talented' Yingluck and a few hundred women captains of industry the exception). One still hears of girls not being allowed to further their education while the boys in the family are fully supported. Plenty of driven women out there of course... but I think it's more one of those things like 'bald men try harder.' They get the crap end of the stick in life and know they need to be more focused.

Later in life though, at least in families that follow the traditional Chinese school of thought, true, the reins are often eventually handed to the women. This tends to coincide with how male competitiveness declines more with age (and declining testosterone levels) than women and is a well worn design.

We must travel different circles and retain much counter observations.

[kerryk]

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

Yet, the girls are really running the show.

Bit of an Asian paradox, yes?

Don't agree with that, this is probably one of the worst places for women to be born. It's a highly patriarchal society with men holding just about all of the cards (the 'talented' Yingluck and a few hundred women captains of industry the exception). One still hears of girls not being allowed to further their education while the boys in the family are fully supported. Plenty of driven women out there of course... but I think it's more one of those things like 'bald men try harder.' They get the crap end of the stick in life and know they need to be more focused.

Later in life though, at least in families that follow the traditional Chinese school of thought, true, the reins are often eventually handed to the women. This tends to coincide with how male competitiveness declines more with age (and declining testosterone levels) than women and is a well worn design.

We must travel different circles and retain much counter observations.

Seems simple enough to me. Some people like those bamboo sticks and some don't. Of course I watch a lot of Japanese movies.

[Jebhead]

Thai Boys are favored, even the girls have come to accept that...My ex- thai GF has a brother that plays computer games all day, and get served 3 meals in front of his computer...I dont say anything coz He allows me to shag his sister in the parents house so what the hell...

Agreed : It's part of the whole cultural scheme :

- the girl trains to be a wife/mother (ie 24/7 maid) to be sold to her future husband (sinsod)

- the boy destined to be a breadwinner perfects his machismo skills as future pig perfectly uncapable to look after himself. So before he gets a job, will do absolutely nothing

They get jobs????

JH

[Latindancer]

The reason some Thai boys are like this is lack of parenting skills.....by the parents.... or grandparents, if they are the carers. It's also lack of discipline, but that does not mean that they should have physical discipline forced on them.

A number of Latin-American and European countries have banned corporal punishment. Such legislation has been enacted in 24 countries. There are signs Australia is moving in the same direction. Judy Cashmore, a developmental psychologist who specializes in children's issues at Sydney Law School, says another negative effect on children subjected to corporal punishment is that they often carry a level of emotional damage into their behaviour as older children or adults."The research is consistent in showing that hitting children is not an effective means of teaching children right from wrong. It does get an instant reaction, so perhaps it can in some circumstances be useful if a child is in danger and if it's an instinctive thing," Cashmore says.

"But it's not an effective way of dealing with children in the long term. Indeed it's quite harmful, particularly when paired with ongoing denigration. For children who grow up in an environment where this is the norm, there are indications it is the precursor for later domestic violence, either as the victim or as the perpetrator," she says.

In the past Australia had so-called lawful excuses available for people hitting wives and employees, defences that seem ludicrous by today's standards

Bernadette Saunders, a senior research fellow at Child Abuse Prevention Research Australia, within Monash University, says children here are the only people against whom violence is sanctioned and justified as discipline.

Corporal punishment can have a detrimental impact on their behaviour, she says. Various studies have linked such force with increased child aggression and delinquency, and increased adult criminal and antisocial behaviour. "It's not appropriate to hit adults, so why is it for children? Children are vulnerable and parents have a huge responsibility to teach them positive ways of behaving," she said.

Edited September 12, 2011 by Latindancer

[RickThai]

Thai parents are generally very permissive with their children. This applies to girls as well as boys, although girls usually start taking on some household chores as they grow older.

RickThai

[Jebhead]

The reason some Thai boys are like this is lack of parenting skills.....by the parents.... or grandparents, if they are the carers. It's also lack of discipline, but that does not mean that they should have physical discipline forced on them.

A number of Latin-American and European countries have banned corporal punishment. Such legislation has been enacted in 24 countries. There are signs Australia is moving in the same direction. Judy Cashmore, a developmental psychologist who specializes in children's issues at Sydney Law School, says another negative effect on children subjected to corporal punishment is that they often carry a level of emotional damage into their behaviour as older children or adults."The research is consistent in showing that hitting children is not an effective means of teaching children right from wrong. It does get an instant reaction, so perhaps it can in some circumstances be useful if a child is in danger and if it's an instinctive thing," Cashmore says.

"But it's not an effective way of dealing with children in the long term. Indeed it's quite harmful, particularly when paired with ongoing denigration. For children who grow up in an environment where this is the norm, there are indications it is the precursor for later domestic violence, either as the victim or as the perpetrator," she says.

In the past Australia had so-called lawful excuses available for people hitting wives and employees, defences that seem ludicrous by today's standards

Bernadette Saunders, a senior research fellow at Child Abuse Prevention Research Australia, within Monash University, says children here are the only people against whom violence is sanctioned and justified as discipline.

Corporal punishment can have a detrimental impact on their behaviour, she says. Various studies have linked such force with increased child aggression and delinquency, and increased adult criminal and antisocial behaviour. "It's not appropriate to hit adults, so why is it for children? Children are vulnerable and parents have a huge responsibility to teach them positive ways of behaving," she said.

Complete <deleted>, just look at the youth of today, where are all the manners and respect? none, because they are wrapped in cotton wool nowadays!!! When discipline was dished out 30/40/50 years ago it seemed to work.....of course there's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

Answer = bamboo sticks ( the longer then better - lol )

JH

[Geekfreaklover]

The reason some Thai boys are like this is lack of parenting skills.....by the parents.... or grandparents, if they are the carers. It's also lack of discipline, but that does not mean that they should have physical discipline forced on them.

A number of Latin-American and European countries have banned corporal punishment. Such legislation has been enacted in 24 countries. There are signs Australia is moving in the same direction. Judy Cashmore, a developmental psychologist who specializes in children's issues at Sydney Law School, says another negative effect on children subjected to corporal punishment is that they often carry a level of emotional damage into their behaviour as older children or adults."The research is consistent in showing that hitting children is not an effective means of teaching children right from wrong. It does get an instant reaction, so perhaps it can in some circumstances be useful if a child is in danger and if it's an instinctive thing," Cashmore says.

"But it's not an effective way of dealing with children in the long term. Indeed it's quite harmful, particularly when paired with ongoing denigration. For children who grow up in an environment where this is the norm, there are indications it is the precursor for later domestic violence, either as the victim or as the perpetrator," she says.

In the past Australia had so-called lawful excuses available for people hitting wives and employees, defences that seem ludicrous by today's standards

Bernadette Saunders, a senior research fellow at Child Abuse Prevention Research Australia, within Monash University, says children here are the only people against whom violence is sanctioned and justified as discipline.

Corporal punishment can have a detrimental impact on their behaviour, she says. Various studies have linked such force with increased child aggression and delinquency, and increased adult criminal and antisocial behaviour. "It's not appropriate to hit adults, so why is it for children? Children are vulnerable and parents have a huge responsibility to teach them positive ways of behaving," she said.

Complete <deleted>, just look at the youth of today, where are all the manners and respect? none, because they are wrapped in cotton wool nowadays!!! When discipline was dished out 30/40/50 years ago it seemed to work.....of course there's a fine line between discipline and abuse.

Answer = bamboo sticks ( the longer then better - lol )

JH

Yes, yes. A good parent rarely needs to use a stick. He or she teaches that acting a certain way will result in better rewards for the child. However,If the kid aint listening Mr. Stick may have to be brought into play, once in a blue moon. Parenting is actually quite simple and is only made difficult by those self-absorbed types who think they have all the answers. Answers that excuse them from being parents IMHO.

[farang000999]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

[Heng]

come on guys you cant deny thai boys are favoured

Yet, the girls are really running the show.

Bit of an Asian paradox, yes?

Don't agree with that, this is probably one of the worst places for women to be born. It's a highly patriarchal society with men holding just about all of the cards (the 'talented' Yingluck and a few hundred women captains of industry the exception). One still hears of girls not being allowed to further their education while the boys in the family are fully supported. Plenty of driven women out there of course... but I think it's more one of those things like 'bald men try harder.' They get the crap end of the stick in life and know they need to be more focused.

Later in life though, at least in families that follow the traditional Chinese school of thought, true, the reins are often eventually handed to the women. This tends to coincide with how male competitiveness declines more with age (and declining testosterone levels) than women and is a well worn design.

We must travel different circles and retain much counter observations.

Perhaps some examples could clarify your original statement?

Credit in full though to the abandoned single mothers and grandmothers who end up raising their children's children, running businesses (or doing 'whatever it takes') to make their lives better or at least slowing that downward spiral... I suppose they are indeed running their respective 'shows.' Although IMO if they (both men and women) did a better job of parenting the first time around, they wouldn't have to go through it a second time (and typically do a worse job). At the better end of the spectrum, I probably run into 1 female who is in charge of her family's business for every 5-6 guys who are in charge of theirs. And more often than not that's because those are families where there is no male heir or the elder brothers in those families opted to not get involved in the business (or were total F-ups).

That last part is only about 10-20% of the population though (albeit the part that pretty much employs the rest), but for the masses, from my point of view it seems the women are simply doing their best managing the scraps that are left for them in the game of life here as a whole.

[kerryk]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

[Heng]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

And let's not forget the orderly transfer of money to the guys (and occasional woman) who own and run these establishments and the mostly male police, army, etc. that take their cut from said businesses while often sitting in better bars and restaurants and partying all day long. Given a choice... I wonder which job most people would choose between those two (or three options if you include the customers) ways to make a living?

[ozzieovaseas]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

What an extraordinary claim...just how did you come to that conclusion?

[kerryk]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

What an extraordinary claim...just how did you come to that conclusion?

Read any of the Pattaya bashing threads. I of course could be wrong. One may substitute white male for Aussie and may be more accurate. :jap:

[farang000999]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

Do you really think that it feels good for Thai women every day when they drive home wondering if their husband, who is probably 9/10th's of their life, is one of the men whose car is parked in one of these places having sex with a woman who has been exposed to hundreds of STDs and will thus expose her as well? What percentage of Thai men do you think do not cheat on their wife? Why is it that Thai women are supposed to wait for marriage before they have sex but there is a brothel on every street corner? Thai women are not even allowed to wear pants to school. The must wear see-through white shirts and cute skirts.

And no I am not saying that prostitution should be illegal or that I give a dam_n what you do with your life. I am simply saying that Thai women are not indifferent to it. They are powerless towards it.

Edited September 13, 2011 by farang000999

[Kananga]

Two middle class Thai kids acting like two middle class Thai kids and for that matter almost all middle class kids their age from any country. What's so surprising ? "Stupid is as stupid does", Maybe it's your fault their spoiled or their mom's. Urh .....

Might help if you actually read the posts!

Since when did "middle class" families have to collect insects to eat, and I've only known them 2 months. All that was in the posts, but easier just to blame me!

Perhaps paulian wouldnt be confused if you could explain to him why they are eating insects when you could feed them real food as you live there, or why they eat insects when they can afford to have computers, motorbikes and expensive mobile phones. Sorry, but it all seems a bit strange to me as well.

[zzaa09]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

What an extraordinary claim...just how did you come to that conclusion?

Seems as Kerry dismissed the little rolled-eyes saecasm emoticon.

[kerryk]

lol @ people saying that the females have the upper hand in a country with a brothel on every street corner.

Your statement seems to imply that women are against prostitution. That is certainly not the case. Prostitution in Thailand is the orderly transfer of money from men who work to women who sit in a bar and drink and eat and party all day long. The most vocal critics of prostitution on this board are male Australians not the women who find many benefits to the business.

What an extraordinary claim...just how did you come to that conclusion?

Seems as Kerry dismissed the little rolled-eyes saecasm emoticon.

Gimme a break it was 8 AM. I don't notice little rolling eyes at 8 AM. I hadn't even had me coffee yet. I will try and be more observant in the future. :jap: Sorry.