Advice Please

[thaithinker]

I am desperate for your advice to hopefully stop my mind going crazy over my current situation. I,ve trawled through the internet to get as much info as possible but ultimately I need people with experience to either give me a wakeup call or make me feel a bit easier. ok so this is the deal...

I live in australia and I went to Bangkok to meet my friend for 10 days before carrying on to the uk for xmas in december last year. I asked my friend where would be a good place to find a decent fake watch and he explained that patpong had a good night market and he did not know anywhere better. Anyway so we go there about 9 pm after half an hour i,ve bought my watch and then my friend suggested going into a pool hall.

Inside the pool hall my friend told me to look over at the other table as there were 2 thai girls dressed in promo beer dresses and they looked stunning. My friend has been in thailand 10 years and said to me,, " hey these girls are not prostitutes,, so lets try to get there number" I agreed and my friend took control and originally the girls were not interested at all,,, but after my friend chatted with the thai owner and befriended there group he ask ed this girl to play me,,,, she did and I was very polite,,,

anyways my friend told her I was looking to move to bangkok in the future ( which is true ) and it would be good of her to meet me and show me around the city. She took the phone out my hand and punched in the number with out giving any indication of interest ie, smile etc.

so i met her a few days later and we went on a boat trip and had a really good time,,,, several date s later I went back to england after getting ultimately nothing in the sexual sense but we got on well,, I had tried of course but on my last night she agreed to come back to my hotel with me but then would not let me even touch her!!!!

I returned home for xmas,, and kept in touch and then 2 weeks later i stopped in bangkok again for 4 nights to break up the journey back to australia. She knew I was coming back and the first night she came to my hotel and we had sex,, and so this continued till i left,,,,

I have since been back to see her for again mid year and once again had a good time ,, and she emailed me everyday

she knows i,m coming back at xmas again for a holiday and were booked for a few days in hua hin..

the problem is that I find it very difficult to contact her more and more and she tells me that she is very busy with work all the time because she wants to get promotion etc so she does not have to work selling beer in patpong.. ( my friend has checked and the work in the daytime story is all correct so is all legit )

Ultimatley I just do not know whether to believe whether she would be seeing other men??? and could i trust her ( a girl who is in beer promo )

Purely becausue of where she works on an evening and the people she sees??

My friend assures me this is not the case because she would simply earn lots more money being a prostitute

I just get paranoid that she,l be giving other blokes her number and playing the field to look for the best deal

I need your opinion about what type of girls work in that area besides the prostitutes,,,,and the mindset of them

I know that a normal class thai, would not be seen dead working down there as a promo girl

Or is it normal for promo girls to be exposed to this and they think nothing of it

many people who only know the bar girls tell me she will 100% be doing the same to other men and that if she had sex with me then she would clearly do it to others. which of course really bothers me as I would never get involved with a prostitute

Theres so many reasons to trust her becasue, when i,m there she never lets me buy food at restaurants and brings thai food with her everyday and pays for it all. she has also bought me T shirts and little bits and pieces too ,,,,,,

but then there are so many reason why i should be cautious. I just dont know about her life and what has led her to work there. Is the soul purpose of working there to get a white man???

I do not know how these thai girls think and I would love you to give me your opinion on this type of girl.

she clearly isnt a prostitute but still works at those places

what do you think,,

Is there a possibility she can be trusted

or is it just the same case ,,, where she,l be quite happy to lie to me?

she always says i should save my money for me and my future and bnever asks for anything,,,, and reminds me not to spend too much on hotels all the time saying she really doesnt care where we stay

Finally i,m really sorry to go on and on but Its something that is really bothering me.

If i cannot trust her then i dont want to invest any more emmotion

is it common for girls in this line of work to be players?? I ,ve read that telling little lies is nothing for them and this bothers me

Is it normal for working thai women to be in the office until 8 in the evening and then go to work sellling beer?? becasue she always tells me this is why she is not able to get back to me often because she is always on the go.

my mate who lives there tells me it absolutely essential for her to make the money as she,s 27 and must pay to help her family.

I guess I want peoples opinions on whether they think she,s trustworthy etc,,,,,, she tells me i,m the first white bloke she,s had and my mate thinks the same but opinons would be really appreciated

hopefully i,ll hear from you really soon and you,l help me make some serious decisions in my life

becasue i just need for someone to tell me straight if i am deluding myself

thank you

Edited September 28, 2011 by metisdead
Font color and size reset to default forum font.

[Mrjlh]

Simple answer...move on! Get over it. You fell...she didn't....more fish in the sea to catch. Also...don't wear you heart on your sleeve..it shows. Not all Thai lady's are pro's just because they are in a bar. Just like home...many here still play games. Use your head...the one between your ears.

Edited September 25, 2011 by Mrjlh

[veryruay]

Some strong words from me to let you wake up your idea.

Do you know something called Sweet lies? And you seems not seeing much in this world yet especially Thailand. Naive is to use on you!!!!

Just because she told you , you believed, it must be a joke. Move on pal, you can have as many fantasy like this whenever you visit Patpong, whereas a promoter, a cosmetic seller etc..............

Wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Thaddeus]

becasue i just need for someone to tell me straight if i am deluding myself

Do you? .... do you really want that?

Ok, you are.

Happy now?

[rgs2001uk]

Your mate who has been here for 10 years dont know his ass from third base.

Quote' My friend has been in thailand 10 years and said to me,, " hey these girls are not prostitutes,,'

A rose by any other name.

[Buzzybee]

Hmm..I'd like to ask you back, as a man would you tell the person you care about that you are always busy and on the go?

[veryruay]

You can permanently deposit $$$ into her account every month. This will make her free!

[MEGALITHIC]

I think it helps to get to know Thailand for several years before investing anything in that country. If you buy a house it is a gift for the wife like the ring. Something happens it is her property. You can live with that then Great. Otherwise only rent. Most of us are older and I can not see depositing or tying up a large portion of money in a piece of property in a foreign land. What the hell is wrong with renting? The wife pushes so many men into buying becuase they know it is theirs. How easily men are manipulated.

Sorry for you loses. I hate to see it happen to anyone. I hope you can recover and get on with your life. Best to you Bud.

I too am sorry for what happened to the OP and have tried to give some good advice. Renting does avoid many of the "scams" and "lies," etc., that are widespread in Thailand. It helps, immensely, if you have lived here several years or even decades. Most of the responses here (not yours) appear to come from very naive expats who have likely only been here a short time. You have to speak the language to penetrate the fake surface smiles/attitudes. I am not, and have not, said all Thais are bad, but I do think, because honor and a moral base are so lacking among so many Thais at every level, a good rule of thumb is to NOT TRUST ANY OF THEM when it comes to real estate, money loaning, business. Before spending money you do not expect to lose, consult a lawyer like those that are sponsoring this forum. Every expat I know here, and virtually all have been here at least one decade, has been ripped off. You come here wanting to find love expecting Thai women to be somehow different; that can really get you into trouble (but for some people they do get lucky). You think you have a great idea and want to start a business here with a Thai partner; now you are really asking for it. You want to buy a house and live in it in the country with you Thai wife--be prepared to lose it! YOU MUST PROTECT YOURSELF. The law firms that are sponsors on ThaiVisa can help. I strongly urge people who are new here to not believe in the myths of this place (all smiling, kind, gentle, trustworthy people) and protect yourself.

its pathetic living your life fearing your wife will take the house the car. Some of us have not yet been screwed or done over by our wives even after 15+ years. Some want to make sure they are ok if/when we go. Some have children who we and our wives care for more than anything else. All you people who scheme ways to try and protect your money instead of freely and lovingly giving it and sharing it with your family are totally loosing out on what you looked for here which in most cases is a strong lasting loving relationship. But no you have to constantly be on guard constantly worry about if your partner is going to screw you out of a few measly million baht. Pathetic. However in business I would not trust anyone here thai or forang but mainly because I as a forang would never be fully accepted and to open to every scam and way possible. But then in west I would not trust anyone in business anyway although lagal protections are far far better thasn here. Most of you are treating your marriages relationships as a business. Well better just rent a wife it will not cost you much and you can sleep a lot better. I trusted my first wife 100% and when we split no problem she got just over 50% even though she had about 75% of assets in her name and now my second wife of well over 18 years I trust the same. At 85 I doubt I will need to trust a third wife. Its illegal to own land here so dont try. If you dont trust her dont marry. What is so difficult about that. But dont expect all faithfulness support and loving a real wife will give you and trust if your not prepared to do same in return. I cant imagine my wife now even thinking of cheating me but if she did last thing id care about is money. Id care much more about what she was teaching our 2 children about values. Sorry your all pathetic and should just come over dont marry rent a wife and be happy.

Great post!

I too am baffled by all the farangs I have met that talk about hiding assets, keeping the wife at bay, constantly in fear of being robbed!

And to top it off, they very usually talk about this as being normal!

After many years in Thailand and meeting countless farangs with the same problems I'm at a belief that these unfortunate souls are actually happy living under such circumstances. They are addicted to the drama and fear!

There is just no other logical explanation as to why they would prefer to live like this.

All to often the real victims of these disfunctional relationships are the children.

It really makes me sick to my stomach when I read topics like this.

The interesting thing for me is where this might lead to if, or when, you decide to persue something of a more long term nature with her. Perhaps I could draw your attention to something your mate told you:

"my mate who lives there tells me it absolutely essential for her to make the money as she,s 27 and must pay to help her family"

Let's explore that a little bit further and imagine that you enter into a relationship with her. The first thing to consider is that, once you both become a long term item, that need to pay for the family will automatically become your need as well. You might even consider marriage, in which case, you'll be required to front up with a fee (Sin Sot) - perhaps in the vicinity of 500k Baht - for the honour of having a Heineken girl as your wife. Following that the idea, no doubt, will be floated (by her mother) that it would be a great idea to buy a chunk of land and build a house for the family to live in. This responsibility will fall on your shoulders. There will be requests for other minor toys such as a new pick-up for papa and motorbikes for the younger brothers to race around on (and probably crash). There might also be requests for siblings education fees. I think you can see where this is leading to. A final word; uncontrolled emotions, in Thailand, my friend are your mortal enemy.

[MEGALITHIC]

Apologies, I had to do this again because I screwed up the first attempt with something I'd been looking at on the general forum. In reply to the OP's post for this topic:

The interesting thing for me is where this might lead to if, or when, you decide to persue something of a more long term nature with her. Perhaps I could draw your attention to something your mate told you:

"my mate who lives there tells me it absolutely essential for her to make the money as she,s 27 and must pay to help her family"

Let's explore that a little bit further and imagine that you enter into a relationship with her. The first thing to consider is that, once you both become a long term item, that need to pay for the family will automatically become your need as well. You might even consider marriage, in which case, you'll be required to front up with a fee (Sin Sot) - perhaps in the vicinity of 500k Baht - for the honour of having a Heineken girl as your wife. Following that the idea, no doubt, will be floated (by her mother) that it would be a great idea to buy a chunk of land and build a house for the family to live in. This responsibility will fall on your shoulders. There will be requests for other minor toys such as a new pick-up for papa and motorbikes for the younger brothers to race around on (and probably crash). There might also be requests for siblings education fees. I think you can see where this is leading to. A final word; uncontrolled emotions, in Thailand, my friend are your mortal enemy.

[oggie911]

tell her you just lost your job and only have money small now but can come thailand to see she but you not buddist you are christain and you dont pay to marry lady and only goverment wedding as you not buddist then see what happens it worked for me but she say ma ma no want money me we married 1 year only 5 fights but over me drinking but she good to me so far ,so try it :jap: wish you luck.

Edited September 25, 2011 by oggie911

[richard_smith237]

You'll never know unless you try.

Ask yourself this... Is it likely that you'll forever kick yourself it you don't pursue this?

There are a lot of sour sceptics on this forum who assume a lot of girls who are are not financially independent are hookers. The same crowd might also suggest its not you who this girl is interest in, its your wallet... yadda yadda yadda, the same old bar stool paranoid diatribe.. Thai's are not to be trusted, you'll never win against a Thai, all Thai's want from Westerners is money.... These people rarely have any genuine Thai friends and live in what is commonly now called a 'farang Ghetto' and experience little outside of barstool life but will continue to argue that they know Thailand better than most. They don’t but can’t be convinced of such because they are unable to comprehend that they don’t know what they don’t know !

Are you and this girl of similar ages? i.e. are you less than 10 years older? Many will say age is not important. For the girls I have met in any country it is. I therefore have to assume that for those girls to whom age isn't an important factor financial security is higher up on their agenda.

The best advice I can offer:

Do not change your plans for this girl. i.e. IF you were going to move to Thailand anyway, then fair enough. But be very careful if you are going to give up everything at home because you are being emotionally influenced.

IF you are going to move here anyway then why not give things a chance?. You do not want to risk riding the emotional roller coaster, but unfortunately you might have to until both you and this girl learn more about each other.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for the best if you make sure your eyes are wide open when entering into this relationship. I see nothing wrong with this girl being so busy, many girls are responsible enough to work hard for their families.

It is however also true that many girls are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, only you can decide this after spending time with this girl. But remember, she might be more attracted to you because of the perceived wealth foreigners may possess, but don’t you also get the benefits of her beauty?

You already know if you are being played – The thing to remember is not to let your emotions overwhelm your thoughts, don’t pull the wool over your own eyes and trust your instincts.

Additional Note:

This girl is working long hours because she needs to.

You met her at her work.

If a more serious relationship was to develop are you going to continue to meet her in the pool bar? OR would you expect / ask her to not work is this sort of environment?

IF you expect her not to work in this environment would you provide her with an alternative means of income? How would you feel if you had to do that?

Edited September 25, 2011 by richard_smith237

[jaapfries]

You'll never know unless you try.

Ask yourself this... Is it likely that you'll forever kick yourself it you don't pursue this?

There are a lot of sour sceptics on this forum who assume a lot of girls who are are not financially independent are hookers. The same crowd might also suggest its not you who this girl is interest in, its your wallet... yadda yadda yadda, the same old bar stool paranoid diatribe.. Thai's are not to be trusted, you'll never win against a Thai, all Thai's want from Westerners is money.... These people rarely have any genuine Thai friends and live in what is commonly now called a 'farang Ghetto' and experience little outside of barstool life but will continue to argue that they know Thailand better than most. They don’t but can’t be convinced of such because they are unable to comprehend that they don’t know what they don’t know !

Are you and this girl of similar ages? i.e. are you less than 10 years older? Many will say age is not important. For the girls I have met in any country it is. I therefore have to assume that for those girls to whom age isn't an important factor financial security is higher up on their agenda.

The best advice I can offer:

Do not change your plans for this girl. i.e. IF you were going to move to Thailand anyway, then fair enough. But be very careful if you are going to give up everything at home because you are being emotionally influenced.

IF you are going to move here anyway then why not give things a chance?. You do not want to risk riding the emotional roller coaster, but unfortunately you might have to until both you and this girl learn more about each other.

There is nothing wrong with hoping for the best if you make sure your eyes are wide open when entering into this relationship. I see nothing wrong with this girl being so busy, many girls are responsible enough to work hard for their families.

It is however also true that many girls are in a relationship for the wrong reasons, only you can decide this after spending time with this girl. But remember, she might be more attracted to you because of the perceived wealth foreigners may possess, but don’t you also get the benefits of her beauty?

You already know if you are being played – The thing to remember is not to let your emotions overwhelm your thoughts, don’t pull the wool over your own eyes and trust your instincts.

Additional Note:

This girl is working long hours because she needs to.

You met her at her work.

If a more serious relationship was to develop are you going to continue to meet her in the pool bar? OR would you expect / ask her to not work is this sort of environment?

IF you expect her not to work in this environment would you provide her with an alternative means of income? How would you feel if you had to do that?

Well now: "Richard_Smith237" - finally a voice who makes more sense than all the previous posters before him ! I fully endorse your 'take' on the matter and I applaud you for your time & effort to stick it on paper.

I'm saying this for a reason:

I have live/worked in Thailand for almost 20 years now and I would like to make a distinction between 2 major divisions when it comes to Farang living here:

1. Those superficial types who hang around the bar-scene on a virtually daily basis.

2. Those who are making a genuine effort with regards to "living" in Thailand; trying to understand AND respect the culture.

Let's face it; you wouldn't ask the advice of a typical bar-stool-hugger in your home-country, would you ? ? - Well; most of the cynical and nonsensical responses here are from guys who you would not ever want to associate with back home; why should you in Thailand ? !

During my 20 years here, I have met plenty of decent Farang who have met decent Thai girls and who are living very decent and loving & fulfilling lives.

All those dramatic stories about "money" and demands made upon you,either directly or indirectly: ludicrous ! !

I have been together with my Thai wife now for 18.5 years and eventhough this is my third marriage (earlier in Canada & NZ) - this is by far the very best thing that's ever happened to me ! ! . . . . . Just think:I wake-up in the morning and look at the pillow besides me and realize that I AM the luckiest man alive . . . . hat's after 18 1/2 years together ! ! !

Oh yeah; and my beautiful girl is now about 1 1/2 years away from receiving her Law-Degree (that's after she already received a Bachelors degree about 6 months ago.

I am certainly not rich man; but I am a hardworking man who's honest and who NEVER cheats on his wife. I do respect her and I'ld do anything for her !

I'll let yo in on another little secret: most decent Thai girls aren't looking for mountains of gold: the one thing they really look for is a guy who is faithful to them and to them only !

If you are the type of man who values moral standards; doesn't enjoy hanging around Go-Go Bars, eying-up the pole-dancers while getting drunk; then - my friend: take this girl seriously and go for it!

Oh; and there's one other sure way to discover if the girl of your desires is 'cut-from-the-right-mold', but you'll have to PM me for that info., okay ?

[bully]

Oh,.... no, no, sorry I mean to say they all do. Use your brains and wake up. This is Lieland.

[brewsterbudgen]

Perhaps she's thinking exactly the same sort of things about you - can he be trusted, is he another typical farang guy out for sex, is he seeing other girls at home or even in Thailand?

Stop over-analyzing things. Even if she turns out to be a semi-prostitute or is seeing other guys, if the relationship between the two of you works, so what? Or are you only interested in virgins?

Edited September 26, 2011 by brewsterbudgen

[Tatsujin]

What a bunch of cynical people there are here on ThaiVisa for the most part.

Nice to hear a voice of reason and an alternative point of view from richard_smith237 and jaapfries who I am guessing DON'T spend all their time sitting on stools doling out advice in bars and actually get to know real people here in Thailand.

[veryruay]

Why Thai ladies chose to attached and love Farangs, even you are aged, ugly looking with bad breath, all this doesn't matter because your wallet can means so much to them. Walking ATM........

Most Thai ladies chose Farangs because of Myths and most of them not well educated. When they see Farang, is like seeing $$$ and personally I think is very wrong. Not all Farangs are rich!!!!

When a Thai lady decide to marry a Farang, it means that she also need the Farangs to take care of their family too, but this rarely to be the case all Farangs will want to. Thai ladies "rarely" have real love for Farangs.

Do not agree? Ask the public, a 23 years old Thai lady marrying a 55 years old Farang, is this love? Or yes, fatherly love. Get the picture?

[brewsterbudgen]

Why Thai ladies chose to attached and love Farangs, even you are aged, ugly looking with bad breath, all this doesn't matter because your wallet can means so much to them. Walking ATM........

Most Thai ladies chose Farangs because of Myths and most of them not well educated. When they see Farang, is like seeing $$$ and personally I think is very wrong. Not all Farangs are rich!!!!

When a Thai lady decide to marry a Farang, it means that she also need the Farangs to take care of their family too, but this rarely to be the case all Farangs will want to. Thai ladies "rarely" have real love for Farangs.

Do not agree? Ask the public, a 23 years old Thai lady marrying a 55 years old Farang, is this love? Or yes, fatherly love. Get the picture?

Do you believe every cliche about Thai girls or have you just been hurt yourself?!

Sorry, but your post is just stereotypical nonsense.

[Tatsujin]

Why Thai ladies chose to attached and love Farangs, even you are aged, ugly looking with bad breath, all this doesn't matter because your wallet can means so much to them. Walking ATM........

Most Thai ladies chose Farangs because of Myths and most of them not well educated. When they see Farang, is like seeing $$$ and personally I think is very wrong. Not all Farangs are rich!!!!

When a Thai lady decide to marry a Farang, it means that she also need the Farangs to take care of their family too, but this rarely to be the case all Farangs will want to. Thai ladies "rarely" have real love for Farangs.

Do not agree? Ask the public, a 23 years old Thai lady marrying a 55 years old Farang, is this love? Or yes, fatherly love. Get the picture?

More cynics who've been burnt before and now believe EVERYONE is the same . . .

And yes, in Asia, which is where you are now surprise, surprise, men ARE expected to take care of the family, whether you are a farang or not. And don't forget, that 55 year old would never be able to get a 23 year old back in their home country, so what that it's not "true love" . . . they both get something out of the relationship . . . so why complain?

Edited September 26, 2011 by Tatsujin

[veryruay]

Apologized if it's hurt.

Have a few friends, to specified, 1 Aussie, 1 Swedish and the other French, all end up broken.

Of course there are " good " examples but what I see is what I comment.

A very very close lady friend from the South happened to tell me this too. Farangs mostly are walking ATM to them. Don't believe me try it, if you don't splash out some cash, no Thai ladies will want you. Come on friends, be realistic, why a 23 yo young and pretty lady want to marry an old and poor Farang? I doubt!!!!

I sincerely apologize if you feel offended, but the truth, Thai ladies always have "real" love for asian men . And why they don't marry Thai men???

Trust me, if you gonna ask 10 girls, 9 of them will give you the same answer, Drunkard, Womanizer and irresponsible!!!

Why Thai ladies chose to attached and love Farangs, even you are aged, ugly looking with bad breath, all this doesn't matter because your wallet can means so much to them. Walking ATM........

Most Thai ladies chose Farangs because of Myths and most of them not well educated. When they see Farang, is like seeing $$ and personally I think is very wrong. Not all Farangs are rich!!!!

When a Thai lady decide to marry a Farang, it means that she also need the Farangs to take care of their family too, but this rarely to be the case all Farangs will want to. Thai ladies "rarely" have real love for Farangs.

Do not agree? Ask the public, a 23 years old Thai lady marrying a 55 years old Farang, is this love? Or yes, fatherly love. Get the picture?

Do you believe every cliche about Thai girls or have you just been hurt yourself?!

Sorry, but your post is just stereotypical nonsense.

[veryruay]

Yes they both get something out of relationship, the man is the Sex and the woman gain is the material. So you call this love?

Honestly, I myself did sleep with a girl married to a Farang ( I'm sorry but I just cannot resist the lust )

Is when I worked in the Southern Thai for 1 year.

And this lady confessed.....she is getting bored with her Farang husband...because he seems not spending $$$ anymore.

Anyway, my two cents of worth!

Why Thai ladies chose to attached and love Farangs, even you are aged, ugly looking with bad breath, all this doesn't matter because your wallet can means so much to them. Walking ATM........

Most Thai ladies chose Farangs because of Myths and most of them not well educated. When they see Farang, is like seeing $$ and personally I think is very wrong. Not all Farangs are rich!!!!

When a Thai lady decide to marry a Farang, it means that she also need the Farangs to take care of their family too, but this rarely to be the case all Farangs will want to. Thai ladies "rarely" have real love for Farangs.

Do not agree? Ask the public, a 23 years old Thai lady marrying a 55 years old Farang, is this love? Or yes, fatherly love. Get the picture?

More cynics who've been burnt before and now believe EVERYONE is the same . . .

And yes, in Asia, which is where you are now surprise, surprise, men ARE expected to take care of the family, whether you are a farang or not. And don't forget, that 55 year old would never be able to get a 23 year old back in their home country, so what that it's not "true love" . . . they both get something out of the relationship . . . so why complain?

[Tatsujin]

Sounds to me like the ones that have had problems with Thai women have met the 'wrong' women in the first place or met them in the 'wrong' place, and that can occur anywhere in the world, not just in Thailand. I just don't think you should say that ALL Thai women are like that as it's simply not true.

When an older man marries a younger woman, is it love? Well, probably not in the "western" way of looking at things. But (again) you're not in the west here any more Toto. Love, companionship and caring grows out of these types of relationships. Is it "true love" . . . no, but if you find the right girl, they will be totally loyal to you BECAUSE you take care of them. Not something that could be said from a lot of western women.

It's not ALL about money however . . . very often I see that older western man still has a wandering eye (and wallet), still goes to the go-go bars and meets other women, so why is it any surprise that the woman gets bored with it all?

In any relationship, there's give and take . . . that's what they are all about. If money is what is being 'given', what's so wrong with that? Both people get what they want out of it all and both are then 'happy'.

[Benayahu]

Sounds to me like the ones that have had problems with Thai women have met the 'wrong' women in the first place or met them in the 'wrong' place, and that can occur anywhere in the world, not just in Thailand. I just don't think you should say that ALL Thai women are like that as it's simply not true.

When an older man marries a younger woman, is it love? Well, probably not in the "western" way of looking at things. But (again) you're not in the west here any more Toto. Love, companionship and caring grows out of these types of relationships. Is it "true love" . . . no, but if you find the right girl, they will be totally loyal to you BECAUSE you take care of them. Not something that could be said from a lot of western women.

It's not ALL about money however . . . very often I see that older western man still has a wandering eye (and wallet), still goes to the go-go bars and meets other women, so why is it any surprise that the woman gets bored with it all?

In any relationship, there's give and take . . . that's what they are all about. If money is what is being 'given', what's so wrong with that? Both people get what they want out of it all and both are then 'happy'.

Ok ,part of this postings I can agree with and some I can not ,sorry. It is true that no matter in the world, whether Thailand, Australia ,Israel wherever, there is the good and bad and some people have their own agenda whether it love, short time fun, security and various other reason.

From my experience, I have found western women to be much more genuine than their Thai counterpart - generally speaking, not all ok! I don't understand why many many western man go to Thailand and suddenly and easily expect to find the woman of his dream?! Surely this is much more achievable in your own culture and country where we know each other wants and needs better ,no?

I think if more western men gave women in their own countries more of a chance and not be so harsh and judging, they might find they have more success. If you treat a western lady with love, respect and affection, there is a VERY good chance you will receive the same in return. You gota remember, do all the western men who criticize western gals think they are Brad Pitt or something and can do no wrong!

Just my thoughts anyways.

peace, Ben,

[rusty1976]

I have been travelling to Thailand for over the last 10 years ++. I love golf and as a result I always will go back to Thailand, I am actually going to buy a condo there,.. dont worry through Centara Resort chain, not some dodgy thai company...

I have lived in Thialand for long periods as well.

I am 35 years old, and have a good paying IT job, I consider myself to be a very eligable bachelor, never married and no kids. I am not a desperate old man...

The girls,.. If she is from the bar then she cannot be trusted. But if your heart says you want her and it is merely not a lust thing, then jump on a plane and go find out, chances are you are gonna get hurt and made broke...

She will either have a thai boyfriend, husband or a number of foreign men on her leash. If you have ever travelled up to ISAAN and spent some time with a thai lady like I have you need to understand that they are expected to make money for the family, it is considered ok for the thai girl to make money off her body and the money goes to straight to her farther or boyfriend.

Look what goes on in the bars of pattaya, the thai girl makes money off the falang, then goes and barfines a karaoke thai boy for fun!!! this is what happens.

I know a 23 year old girl, started working Go Go's at 18 years, she is now a promo girl, whats the difference ? there is no difference based on the type of bar job she has.

Bangkok and Pattaya are not the places to be meeting thai ladies, not in the bar.

I have heard of some horror stories of stupid white guys falling in love with bar girls, the old send them money from home...., we will make a visa and be happy together, the guy rocks up at the airport and she isnt there to meet him, her phone is turned off and the poor bastard is left at the airport in a mess...

Buy and read these books:

1) Money Number 1

2) Private Dancer

These 2 books should be on each Thai airways flight bound for Bangkok, to warn stupid white guys of the dangers of love in thailand.

Enjoy!

One other thing, if you are only interested in having sex with hot girls then just stick to short-time and always follow the rule that if she says she love you: Then bar fine her friend and F*&K her, or only barfine a chick one time from each bar... These are simple rules to apply with bar chicks.

Edited September 28, 2011 by shanewiso

[supaprik]

another Aussie about to bite the dust..

if I had a dollar for every beer seller girl mates of mine have had over the years!!!

[Benayahu]

I have been travelling to Thailand for over the last 10 years ++. I love golf and as a result I always will go back to Thailand, I am actually going to buy a condo there,.. dont worry through Centara Resort chain, not some dodgy thai company...

I have lived in Thialand for long periods as well.

I am 35 years old, and have a good paying IT job, I consider myself to be a very eligable bachelor, never married and no kids. I am not a desperate old man...

The girls,.. If she is from the bar then she cannot be trusted. But if your heart says you want her and it is merely not a lust thing, then jump on a plane and go find out, chances are you are gonna get hurt and made broke...

She will either have a thai boyfriend, husband or a number of foreign men on her leash. If you have ever travelled up to ISAAN and spent some time with a thai lady like I have you need to understand that they are expected to make money for the family, it is considered ok for the thai girl to make money off her body and the money goes to straight to her farther or boyfriend.

Look what goes on in the bars of pattaya, the thai girl makes money off the falang, then goes and barfines a karaoke thai boy for fun!!! this is what happens.

I know a 23 year old girl, started working Go Go's at 18 years, she is now a promo girl, whats the difference ? there is no difference based on the type of bar job she has.

Bangkok and Pattaya are not the places to be meeting thai ladies, not in the bar.

I have heard of some horror stories of stupid white guys falling in love with bar girls, the old send them money from home...., we will make a visa and be happy together, the guy rocks up at the airport and she isnt there to meet him, her phone is turned off and the poor bastard is left at the airport in a mess...

Buy and read these books:

1) Money Number 1

2) Private Dancer

These 2 books should be on each Thai airways flight bound for Bangkok, to warn stupid white guys of the dangers of love in thailand.

Enjoy!

This is the most thought provoking, sensible and relevant post I have read on Thai Visa! I 100% agree with what you have written and you sound like you have a wise head for just 35 year old.

peace, Ben.

[Berkshire]

To answer the OP, these PG's (or beer Promotional Girls) are technically not bargirls. Which means you can't barfine them and take them off the premises. They don't make a lot of money. They work around men all night long--drunken men--and get hit-on constantly. Many men will offer them money. Sometimes, they'll take the offer. Can't blame them. Business is business.

[veryruay]

I second that.

I have been travelling to Thailand for over the last 10 years ++. I love golf and as a result I always will go back to Thailand, I am actually going to buy a condo there,.. dont worry through Centara Resort chain, not some dodgy thai company...

I have lived in Thialand for long periods as well.

I am 35 years old, and have a good paying IT job, I consider myself to be a very eligable bachelor, never married and no kids. I am not a desperate old man...

The girls,.. If she is from the bar then she cannot be trusted. But if your heart says you want her and it is merely not a lust thing, then jump on a plane and go find out, chances are you are gonna get hurt and made broke...

She will either have a thai boyfriend, husband or a number of foreign men on her leash. If you have ever travelled up to ISAAN and spent some time with a thai lady like I have you need to understand that they are expected to make money for the family, it is considered ok for the thai girl to make money off her body and the money goes to straight to her farther or boyfriend.

Look what goes on in the bars of pattaya, the thai girl makes money off the falang, then goes and barfines a karaoke thai boy for fun!!! this is what happens.

I know a 23 year old girl, started working Go Go's at 18 years, she is now a promo girl, whats the difference ? there is no difference based on the type of bar job she has.

Bangkok and Pattaya are not the places to be meeting thai ladies, not in the bar.

I have heard of some horror stories of stupid white guys falling in love with bar girls, the old send them money from home...., we will make a visa and be happy together, the guy rocks up at the airport and she isnt there to meet him, her phone is turned off and the poor bastard is left at the airport in a mess...

Buy and read these books:

1) Money Number 1

2) Private Dancer

These 2 books should be on each Thai airways flight bound for Bangkok, to warn stupid white guys of the dangers of love in thailand.

Enjoy!

One other thing, if you are only interested in having sex with hot girls then just stick to short-time and always follow the rule that if she says she love you: Then bar fine her friend and F*&K her, or only barfine a chick one time from each bar... These are simple rules to apply with bar chicks.

Edited September 28, 2011 by metisdead
Removed large in modified quoted post. Do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes.

[rusty1976]

Hi Ben, thanks for the feedback. Felt a little strange posting my thoughts, first time Ive done it... But I felt like I had to help this guy out! Hope he doesnt end up another statistic.

There's one story I love telling... This story was when my eye's were really opened up to how the streets work...

I had been living in Pattaya for about 4 months, One night I had a few drinks and bumped into 3 thai chicks... probably just finished work at their bar. Anyway they dragged me into a Karakoe lounge, darkly lit,.. and to my surprise alot of thai women inside. I got a few waves and hellos. Anyway a bottle of whiskey was thrown in front of our table, so I was paying.. No worries, didnt mind at all.

Anyway an MC comes out on the little shitty stage,.. starts blabbing in thai... then about 10 guys come out on stage, with their long black hair, dressed up looking like a sexy man,.. with the high pitched techno going and the MC yelling.

Basically all the women were there to bar fine the guys... And that's when it hit me like a wet salmon in the face. AMAZING THAILAND.!! What a circus.

I thought it was hirlarious, the girls get the money off the falang, then at about 2am they hit the karaoke boy bars and bar fine them and take em home... no wonder STD's are everywhere.

Later.

Edited September 28, 2011 by shanewiso

[elektrified]

Long winded post over a simple situation...

But to answer your question, not all of the girls who work for beer companies are prostitutes. My friend worked for the Heineken company for 5 years. She received a salary and a commission on beer sold as well as her living expenses were paid for. She was sent all over the country as a rep and had the opportunity to see all of Thailand this way as well as saving up a nice sum of money. She was never a prostitute.

Some girls who work in an office may be considered to be a prostitute. You can't just paint everyone with the same brush. People are people. Everyone is different.

[Tatsujin]

Long winded post over a simple situation...

But to answer your question, not all of the girls who work for beer companies are prostitutes. My friend worked for the Heineken company for 5 years. She received a salary and a commission on beer sold as well as her living expenses were paid for. She was sent all over the country as a rep and had the opportunity to see all of Thailand this way as well as saving up a nice sum of money. She was never a prostitute.

Some girls who work in an office may be considered to be a prostitute. You can't just paint everyone with the same brush. People are people. Everyone is different.

A voice of reason at last!