Foreigner Speaks - Nothing Is Heard

[endure]

And you think this never happens in Farangland? You think that foreigners never have good ideas that are ignored by the local population? If you intend to live in a country that doesn't share the common presumptions that you were brought up with then it's best if you leave those presumptions where they belong and be grateful that you're being given the opportunity to discover how other people view the world that we live in.

[MEGALITHIC]

And you think this never happens in Farangland? You think that foreigners never have good ideas that are ignored by the local population? If you intend to live in a country that doesn't share the common presumptions that you were brought up with then it's best if you leave those presumptions where they belong and be grateful that you're being given the opportunity to discover how other people view the world that we live in.

Yes, and this becomes even more pronounced when the foreigner places himself in a small village/community where the average inhabitant has barely 6 years education. Where the average inhabitant has little knowledge of the world beyond their village borders. Where the high point each day, for the average inhabitant, is the discussion of what's in the next meal. What makes it even more astounding is that these average inhabitants actually believe that the good ideas that the foriegner might come up with, from time to time, are hardly worth listening to because he doesn't come from their village and doesn't understand how things work. Makes you wonder why any foriegner would want to waste his time sharing his good ideas with those very average inhabitants of the village.

Edited October 23, 2011 by MEGALITHIC

[Misplaced]

And you think this never happens in Farangland? You think that foreigners never have good ideas that are ignored by the local population? If you intend to live in a country that doesn't share the common presumptions that you were brought up with then it's best if you leave those presumptions where they belong and be grateful that you're being given the opportunity to discover how other people view the world that we live in.

AMEN!

[KeyserSoze01]

Ah yes, the old love it or leave it gambit. Well played as I didn't even see it coming.

[PattayaParent]

It's normal.

I can give advice about certain matters and no one listens. A few days later a Thai will give the same advice and they all think he is great.

Incidentally, I get a lot of updates about the floods here on TV and no one believes me until much later when they hear from a Thai.

Just had the same thing about protecting the house from the floods.

Oh, I am in "central" Bangkok.

I agree with this post 100%

If, however, the poster is not English, could one of you please tell him I agree with him 100%?

Haha I am English.

Just had a typical case where I read here on TV that Klongtan, Phrakanong and Pattanakarn residents should move their belongings over 1 meter. She commented that I was panicking and that TV was rubbish. Five minutes later she received an SMS from a Thai friend with the same message. NOW she believes me.

And the Thai friend probably saw the same 'rubbish' news bulletin that you did.

It's not just a Thai thing, same used to happen to me in Philippines with the GF.

Remember Farang know nothing about Thai Ways, Thai know everything, that's why when you show them a better way to do something they will try it for a while and even agree it's a better way, and then revert to the 'Thai Way'

[andrew55]

I saw the reverse, an English friend decided to build a small brick shed "english style" ie walls first then roof as he knew better and the Thais didn't know what they were doing. After the third day sweating in the boiling sun he acknowledged that perhaps local knowledge wasn't so wrong after all and that putting the roof up first was a better idea. I have found that when I treat others opinions with respect I tend to get the same in return.

So true SBK.

I've been guilty of similar.

The earning of mutual respect is a great option, but in reality I've often it just not attainable.

We are just farang. And many of we farang can be observed behaving less than respectfully, especially through the eyes of rural Thais. We've been here 10 minutes. They for generations.

I find that the best way to make somebody want to try something is to make them WANT to try it. ie on the rare occasion that I'm pretty certain of the quality of my suggestion.

My 2 bob's worth for a satang.

[ARISTIDE]

You think they don't listen because

You are a farang

You are a foreigner

You are not Thai

I don't know the real situation you are in but chances are it has nothing to do with being a foreigner.

Perhaps because.. but may not be the case at all but often I see farang make mistakes and most Thai just like other nationality may ignore you because:

You don't understand Thai mentality!

You don't understand the Thai social dynamic!

You can't speak Thai!

You don't know what they want!

Thai society is different, even lower class don't speak the same as the higher class, unlike in the western world.

Edited October 23, 2011 by ARISTIDE

[jackr]

I saw the reverse, an English friend decided to build a small brick shed "english style" ie walls first then roof as he knew better and the Thais didn't know what they were doing. After the third day sweating in the boiling sun he acknowledged that perhaps local knowledge wasn't so wrong after all and that putting the roof up first was a better idea. I have found that when I treat others opinions with respect I tend to get the same in return.

Though the English lad's shed would have lasted 100 years longer than four posts and a ton of render.

However, believe op is talking about everyday situations and, despite providing for family, just does not really matter to them. Respect goes both ways, but not very often in Muang Thai, it seems.

[Mirth]

It's just a small issue, why bother about it? I mean different people have different ways of doing things so why be bothered by it? Just go along with the flow, living one day at a time. Only difference is, sometimes if and when we see that their actions will bring a huge problem in the future, we just have to be pro-active and do something about it before things gets out of hand.

[Mirth]

Ever occur to your english friend to create a "shelter" while building the shed from bottom up? With my opinion, it's 3 different opinion now. So, different people have different way of doing things so why bother over small issues?

I saw the reverse, an English friend decided to build a small brick shed "english style" ie walls first then roof as he knew better and the Thais didn't know what they were doing. After the third day sweating in the boiling sun he acknowledged that perhaps local knowledge wasn't so wrong after all and that putting the roof up first was a better idea. I have found that when I treat others opinions with respect I tend to get the same in return.

[Kilgore Trout]

Do you mind me asking where you live?

Is it a village thing?

Yes. :jap:

If you went to remove some cash from an atm and it started talking to you and offering you advice, would you listen?

Thats probably how they see you

[thaibeachlovers]

Try withholding the baht until respect is offered. Works everywhere, not just in Thailand.

Sadly, that is the bottom line.

I too had no respect in the MIL's house from the ignorant nephews, so I moved. Their loss ( financially ).

[Spoonman]

Try withholding the baht until respect is offered. Works everywhere, not just in Thailand.

I reckon if I withheld the baht back home in OZ nobody would notice.

[thaibeachlovers]

This:

1. You're a sucker for punishment.

2. It's not going to change.

3. If you don't like it; leave.

4. If don't want to leave; stop making suggestions or giving your opinions - your opinions and suggestions don't matter, or count, because everyone in the villages knows that they are smarter than the farang. The farang is only there to provide money. Don't waste your time discussing with them what you are going to do; just do it. And when they ask you why you didn't discuss something with them, just say there's no point because they know everything already lol.

5. rather than trying to get them to see the sense in your opinions and ways, adopt some of their ways. try this one first "sorry, i haven't got any money."

#5 is definitely the best option. It's something that took me a while to realise, but I'm getting there!

[thaibeachlovers]

It's normal.

I can give advice about certain matters and no one listens. A few days later a Thai will give the same advice and they all think he is great.

Incidentally, I get a lot of updates about the floods here on TV and no one believes me until much later when they hear from a Thai.

Just had the same thing about protecting the house from the floods.

Oh, I am in "central" Bangkok.

Not just in Thailand. I had a manager in my last job ( in the UK ) that would not accept any idea from the staff, unless she could make it look like it was her idea. Consequently, when they redesigned the store room, it was a complete disaster, as she wouldn't ask anyone that actually knew anything, preferring to believe that she knew everything about industrial design.

At one time I put forward an idea that would have saved the department thousands of pounds over the year, but because I also forwarded the suggestion to her manager ( therefore not able to claim the idea as her own ) she refused to consider it. Can you guess what I thought when we later got a memo from management asking for suggestions to save money?

[qualtrough]

I assume English is not your first language, and do not mean to insult you, but I had some difficulty following what you wrote here. If your Thai is not even as good as that, are you sure they even understand what you say, much less agree with it?

[thaibeachlovers]

I assume English is not your first language, and do not mean to insult you, but I had some difficulty following what you wrote here. If your Thai is not even as good as that, are you sure they even understand what you say, much less agree with it?

Sorry, but there are 45 posts prior to yours. To whom were you addressing your reply?

Edited October 23, 2011 by thaibeachlovers

[onionluke]

I assume English is not your first language, and do not mean to insult you, but I had some difficulty following what you wrote here. If your Thai is not even as good as that, are you sure they even understand what you say, much less agree with it?

Sorry, but there are 45 posts prior to yours. To whom were you addressing your reply?

Yes for all the readers no this could be about herds of speaking foriegners replying to nothing .

OP , don't worry about it too much ,

[qualtrough]

I assume English is not your first language, and do not mean to insult you, but I had some difficulty following what you wrote here. If your Thai is not even as good as that, are you sure they even understand what you say, much less agree with it?

Sorry, but there are 45 posts prior to yours. To whom were you addressing your reply?

Sorry, I was addressing this to the OP.

[Geekfreaklover]

And you think this never happens in Farangland? You think that foreigners never have good ideas that are ignored by the local population? If you intend to live in a country that doesn't share the common presumptions that you were brought up with then it's best if you leave those presumptions where they belong and be grateful that you're being given the opportunity to discover how other people view the world that we live in.

That's funny. It's not serious right, right?

[elgato]

Talk louder!

[AngelofDeath]

Even TV is full of pessimists, but sometimes the words that they speak do prove that they are right. Even in the modern city of Bangkok, my Thai friends rather listen to advice given by another Thai person rather than me, even though my advice will lead to better results.

[qualtrough]

And you think this never happens in Farangland? You think that foreigners never have good ideas that are ignored by the local population? If you intend to live in a country that doesn't share the common presumptions that you were brought up with then it's best if you leave those presumptions where they belong and be grateful that you're being given the opportunity to discover how other people view the world that we live in.

That's funny. It's not serious right, right?

I am going to take a wild guess and bet you have the same problem as the OP, am I right?

[jimbeam1]

Sorry double post after edit.

Edited October 23, 2011 by jimbeam1

[jimbeam1]

It means your with the wrong family, if they don't accept or value your opinion.

I would think that you are spot on.

This guy had a post on here a couple of weeks ago. Similar type of situation with his stepson. Sure sounds like time to move on before they make your life hell, TQM. It certainly seems that they are getting to you?

jb1

[jimbeam1]

It's normal.

I can give advice about certain matters and no one listens. A few days later a Thai will give the same advice and they all think he is great.

Incidentally, I get a lot of updates about the floods here on TV and no one believes me until much later when they hear from a Thai.

Just had the same thing about protecting the house from the floods.

Oh, I am in "central" Bangkok.

I agree with this post 100%

If, however, the poster is not English, could one of you please tell him I agree with him 100%?

Haha I am English.

Just had a typical case where I read here on TV that Klongtan, Phrakanong and Pattanakarn residents should move their belongings over 1 meter. She commented that I was panicking and that TV was rubbish. Five minutes later she received an SMS from a Thai friend with the same message. NOW she believes me.

And the Thai friend probably saw the same 'rubbish' news bulletin that you did.

It's not just a Thai thing, same used to happen to me in Philippines with the GF.

Remember Farang know nothing about Thai Ways, Thai know everything, that's why when you show them a better way to do something they will try it for a while and even agree it's a better way, and then revert to the 'Thai Way'

So it's a case of MY way or the THAI way.

jb1

[Latindancer]

Talk louder!

Screech raucously in Isaan language, punctuating your sentences by pounding a somtam mortar and pestle.

[billd766]

I have a similar problem as the OP from time to time and now I just let it go and do what I want the way I want.

Quite a few times we have been sitting around and I start to talk to my wife and some other person buts in.

Usually I say a little louder that I am speaking to my wife so please wait.

If they carry on I then shout at them to shut up as I am speaking to my wife and if you don't like go away.

That usually stops it dead and everybody looks at me as though I am stupid/crazy/wrong etc BUT it does work.

A couple of years ago they started to build a new bridge across the road from our house over the klong so that it is easy to get from one side to the other even during the normal heavy rains and it would make a bypass for the village.n The klong was about 10 metres wide, sometimes dry in the summer and sometimes a couple of metres deep in the wet.

They dug out the klong a bit and dropped some 1 metre concrete pipes in and I explained that it was nowhere near enough.

They politely listened to me and ignored me and carried on doing their thing.

After the 5th time it got washed away I gave up telling them.

Eventually it got finished and they went away happy.

The new road is beautiful for the first couple of kms and then it stopped at the dirt track for another 4 kms before joining another new bit of road at the other end.

At each end and each side of the bridge the built a concrete slope and steps down.

Last week after a lot of heavy rain for a few days one piece has fallen a couple of metres and you can see that it was stuck on as an afterthought and not attached to the bridge at all.

Where they dug the klong out to get the "free" sand they altered the flow of water completely and now the klong is some 50 metres wide and eating the land away at each side.

[thequietman]

It means your with the wrong family, if they don't accept or value your opinion.

I would think that you are spot on.

This guy had a post on here a couple of weeks ago. Similar type of situation with his stepson. Sure sounds like time to move on before they make your life hell, TQM. It certainly seems that they are getting to you?

jb1

hi jimbeam. the wife had some choice words with the stepson and he has now pulled his head in drastically. he now helps when things need to be done( i still have to ask however) but progress none the less.

Dont get me wrong, I use thaivisa to vent my frustrations sometimes but shortly after I calm down and everything is worked out. As some have said, things get lost in translation even after nearly 10 years together. I love the wife. She is sweet,kind and most times considerate. She works hard as do I, and we still behave in the same manner as if we met only last week. There is giggling and strange sexy looks and we have fun together. I have said it before, I wouldnt change her for anything and I believe we will be together for ever. Thaivisa is a great outlet for those in the sticks and its always good to hear all the different opinions and to know that other farang are going through the small hurdles as others do.

Thanks for all the replies and most importantly.........be careful out there. :jap:

[tijnebijn]

It's normal.

I can give advice about certain matters and no one listens. A few days later a Thai will give the same advice and they all think he is great.

Incidentally, I get a lot of updates about the floods here on TV and no one believes me until much later when they hear from a Thai.

Just had the same thing about protecting the house from the floods.

Oh, I am in "central" Bangkok.

Not just in Thailand. I had a manager in my last job ( in the UK ) that would not accept any idea from the staff, unless she could make it look like it was her idea. Consequently, when they redesigned the store room, it was a complete disaster, as she wouldn't ask anyone that actually knew anything, preferring to believe that she knew everything about industrial design.

At one time I put forward an idea that would have saved the department thousands of pounds over the year, but because I also forwarded the suggestion to her manager ( therefore not able to claim the idea as her own ) she refused to consider it. Can you guess what I thought when we later got a memo from management asking for suggestions to save money?

I think what this poster quoted is actualy the case with the OP , its not that the Thais won't listen to you ( if you can speak reasonable Thai ) but its the same story with Thais versus Thais , in my opinion and experience its the face thing , not wanting you to tell them a good idea makes them , the Pujai or obetoh , lose face , don't forget that in their minds they are successful , in the eyes of the people they are the ones to look up too .

The golden rule between Thais is don't speak if not asked , we foreigners could learn from that ...

So frankly speaking you have to learn the message behind all of it , its not about the OP or locals , its the way things are handled here , and you not understandig one bit of it , it even can go as far of you being unrespectful because you don't have a clue basically .

I would say read what I wrote , think ,take your conclusion , learn , and don't waste your time on those at the moo bahn , smile have a chat and don't try to mix two cultures who dont understand each others ways and motives ....Its mis-communication and ignorance why we should not , I'm pretty sure when you don't , they will give you a big smile and free Whisky as in the old days ....

Edited October 23, 2011 by tijnebijn