Learning To Drop Attachments

[RickThai]

Hello to All,

This is a short story that I hope some will find as an interesting 'real life' benefit of Buddhist living.

I had been wanting to buy some technical books at a local thrift store. The books were only around 3 to 5 USDs each.

This particular thrift store had 50% off days, that allowed half off prices for objects with certain color-coded price tags. The colors that were on sale, changed on a daily basis.

The books I wanted had a pink color tag.

So every day for an entire week, I went to the store and checked which colors were on sale.

Finally, after about 6 days, the pink-tagged items were 50% off.

Unfortunately, one of the books, I had wanted had already been sold. Nevertheless, I was happy to find two other books, which I did buy.

After I got home, I discovered that I had lost a $5 bill. Thinking back, I realized that I must have lost it in the parking lot of the thrift store where I had purchased the books.

I felt bad that I had lost all the money that I had saved, by frugally waiting and checking the store for 6 days running.

I knew that feeling bad about the loss of the money (and the savings I had tried so hard to acquire) was not consistent with Budhist thoughts. So then I thought about how happy the individual who would eventually find the $5.00 would feel.

Instantly all my negative feelings evaporated, and I felt a deep, but quiet sense of contenment that someone had had a "lucky day" and experienced happiness upon finding the money.

Its as if, the entire experience had been designed solely to provide me with some insight into attachmenst and letting go of desire.

Thank you for letting me share this with you, the sangha.

Rick

Edited October 27, 2011 by RickThai

[rockyysdt]

Nice story Rick.

We all live with aversion, delusion, and greed.

Observing yourself "feeling bad - aversion" is something to rejoice over.

You could have stewed all day and into the next over your loss.

Instead, catching your reaction involved right effort, right concentration, right mindfulness, right intention and right view.

Experiencing aversion is a necessary part of our path.

Without aversion, delusion, and greed to be aware of, we could never cultivate our wisdom.

Edited October 28, 2011 by rockyysdt

[Jawnie]

Tibetan masters I've heard more than once when discussing a loss like this, or having something stolen, say something similar to how you handled it. That is, they say to wish happiness upon the person who found or stole the item. If it is a big item or is stolen, they say to visualize giving the thing away to the person, mentally offer it as a gift along with the wish that the person will find happiness in the gift. Then let go of it.

[khaowong1]

Those Tibetan masters were something, don't you agree? :-)

[4evermaat]

Holding on to the past makes it so heavy to be alive today. Letting go of what is not working allows something else that may work to manifest itself.

Not letting go allows your fears to hold you hostage. Kind of like not taking that vacation after you lost your job. What if you did take that vacation and met someone who in turn provides you with a point of contact to a new employer that has twice the salary?

Another way to look at the situation is that it worked out perfectly. But our assumptions (plan) didn't work out the way we originally thought, so the illusion is that it "didn't work". The attachment to the plan, and then taking it personally when it "doesn't work" as planned, creates all the suffering.

And the illusion is further perpetuated because so many humans suffer on a regular basis, it can be initially perceived as being normal.

[RickThai]

:jap:

[Para]

Acceptance and non-attachment form the basis of Buddhist teachings. Understanding acceptance is easy but it took me ages to get my head around 'non-attachment' I mean after all if you are happy you want to remain happy so attach to that feeling. If you are with someone you like you wish the relation to continue again you will attach to that.

Problem is attachment leads to lust and greed which isn’t good. Also ultimately we will die so any attachment formed will be lost.

Simple acceptance of every situation without attachment leads to freedom of the mind and is the path to Nirvana (Nibbana)

Remember yesterday is past and cannot be changed while tomorrow has yet to arrive its only today, the present that’s real and where we should live our lives.

[fabianfred]

The Thais, when something is stolen, say that it has returned to its rightful owner, or that we might have stolen from that person in a past life.

[gk10002000]

As with many things, one has to experience them in order to understand or learn from them. Try actually letting some things go. Don't buy that expensive TV. Don't buy that expensive new car along with the expensive insurance policy. Do try buying that older used car and paying cash for it. Do wait one year and then count up the money you saved by not taking out a car loan and by not having to carry expensive collision insurance.

This is just a material example. But I find things like this to be very relevent as I simplify things.

[IMA_FARANG]

Acceptance and non-attachment form the basis of Buddhist teachings. Understanding acceptance is easy but it took me ages to get my head around 'non-attachment' I mean after all if you are happy you want to remain happy so attach to that feeling. If you are with someone you like you wish the relation to continue again you will attach to that.

Problem is attachment leads to lust and greed which isn’t good. Also ultimately we will die so any attachment formed will be lost.

Simple acceptance of every situation without attachment leads to freedom of the mind and is the path to Nirvana (Nibbana)

Remember yesterday is past and cannot be changed while tomorrow has yet to arrive its only today, the present that’s real and where we should live our lives.

-------------------------

Fine, but you and I can agree to disagree on that, I guess.

My personal opinion...it's not that attachment that is bad...it's the use you make of it.

An attachment is neither healthy or unhealthy...it is just a thing.

You can either use that attachment...that "thing"...to benefit others...which can be healthy...or to benefit only yourself...which can be unhealthy.

For example, you can have an attachment to your Buddhist practice.

That attachment could be a good thing...especially if it leads to compassion and helping others.

Or it could be a bad thing...if it leads to being intolerant to others...non-Buddhists let's say.

It's not the "attachment" that's bad, is it? It's how you make use of it.

And the obvious answer to that is to make good mindful use of attachments, I would say.

Edited March 20, 2012 by IMA_FARANG

[rockyysdt]

Fine, but you and I can agree to disagree on that, I guess.

My personal opinion...it's not that attachment that is bad...it's the use you make of it.

An attachment is neither healthy or unhealthy...it is just a thing.

You can either use that attachment...that "thing"...to benefit others...which can be healthy...or to benefit only yourself...which can be unhealthy.

For example, you can have an attachment to your Buddhist practice.

That attachment could be a good thing...especially if it leads to compassion and helping others.

Or it could be a bad thing...if it leads to being intolerant to others...non-Buddhists let's say.

It's not the "attachment" that's bad, is it? It's how you make use of it.

And the obvious answer to that is to make good mindful use of attachments, I would say.

That's a curly one I F.

I see attachment as clinging.

When we cling we can't get passed what we cling to.

An attachment may have the potential to generate positive outcomes for others but if it's rooted in delusion, aversion or greed, then the one who clings or is attached won't progress or grow.

I see a lot of clinging by Buddhists themselves.

Many cling to the desire to experience higher states whilst in practice and ultimately they desire enlightenment.

To me these may be the fruit of one path, but the goal is compassion and to extinguish clinging to aversion, delusion & greed.

Edited March 20, 2012 by rockyysdt

[Para]

From the Buddhist teachings I have had attachment is not good as rockyysdt says. For me personally learning to drop all attachments and replace them with simple acceptance has rid me of so much emotional burden.

I am happy to agree that we simply have a different opinion on the subjects.

With metta

Para

[anybody]

Know Emptiness. Be compassionate.

[weary]

Inspired, I tried my best to drop an attachment in this thread, but the system would not allow it, as apparently, the attachment was over the maximum size limit. I then reached the insight that I need to start by dropping smaller attachments, such as this one.

[rockyysdt]

From the Buddhist teachings I have had attachment is not good as rockyysdt says. For me personally learning to drop all attachments and replace them with simple acceptance has rid me of so much emotional burden.

I am happy to agree that we simply have a different opinion on the subjects.

With metta

Para

Para.

I couldn't quite gather what it was upon which we disagree.

Is it a question of misunderstanding/