Girlriends Ex'S Family Trying For Custody

[Rudeboy]

Hey folks,, just looking for opinions and any advice really,, situation is this,, my girlfriends danish ex husbands family ie mother are wanting custody of my girlfriends son and are going to court,, i've been with my girlfriend for just over 2 years and were very happy together and very much in love, i knew all about the ex hubby and what happened with them, they basically were never in love and only got married because she fell pregnant, they met due to his uncle being married to her auntie, during the pregnancy he cheated often and it all came to a head just after the baby was born when she returned home to find him in bed with her best mate,, soon after that he returned to denmark, he refused to believe the child was his until a paternity test was done this was the same for his family and they treated my girlfriend like a piece of dirt until such time, even after it was proven they still thought her not good enough for there son, the child was born in thailand and was in denmark for the first few months after they split then returned to thailand ad has remained there with my girlfriend and her family with very little contact from her ex's family,

Her ex hubby was killed in denmark just over a year ago in a road accident and not long after this his mother and sister came over to visit his son and my girlfriend and there was no mention of custody and everything seemed fine, now all of a sudden there wanting custody!! The child does have a danish and thai passport and we were told that at around 15 years of age he will have to decide whether he wants to be a thai national or danish, we have also just learned that her marriage was never official so they werent actually legally married according to thai or danish law, she also recieved a letter from her ex's family just after his death that was supposedly from danish government staing that her ex's estate was all left to her son,, house, money etc,, this has also been proven to be false and he had no house or money, this was admitted by her ex's mother, we still have this letter and it will be presented to the solicitor, however we do believe that the ex's mother may have recieved a substantial insurance pay out when he died but cant prove this.

We have been in contact with a solicitor from bangkok and he is coming to see my girlfriend on the 7th of this month, unfortunately i'm back in the UK at the moment for work purposes and will remain here until approx january but if i'm needed to return to thailand before this then i will,, we were planning on getting married sometime in the near future but will happily make this sooner if it will help, were also in the process of building a house, her son is nearly 3 now and has spent more time with me than her ex's family and i consider him like my own, we have never had any intention of stopping her ex's family from visiting and seeing her son and had fully intended to tell him about his father when he was old enough to understand, we also were expecting a child together earlier this year but there were complications about 4 months into the pregnancy and we lost the baby.

My girlfriends family have money as do i and i can easily provide proof i.e. bank statements, payslips, which will prove that i am more than capable of providing for my girlfriend and her son, she also has family that work in police, army and government that are all willing to talk on her behalf and it was them that got in touch with the solicitor/lawyer were going to be using,

Its just i have no idea of how thai law works and whether they'll maybe favour the ex's family because of the better education, health services etc available in denmark, the solicitor reckons we've got at least an 80% chance that we will win the case but obviously my girlfriend is in bits about this as am i and the thought of them winning the case and being allowed to take our son to denmark is heart breaking.

so any help or advice greatly appreciated..

thanks for reading

Rudi..

Edited November 6, 2011 by Rudeboy

[Boo]

this case will be heard under thai law & if they were not legally married then the child was never legitimized by the danish father giving the mother 100% sole custody. the mother & sister in denmark have no claim to the child & a thai court will not give custody to them esp as it would mean the child moving overseas. The only chance they would ever have is if they could prove without doubt of the mothers inability to provide a safe home either due to drug alcohol or physical abuse and even then a court would be reluctant to provide sole custody to them & allow them to take him to denmark.

tbh your lawyer sounds like a moron, i would engage the opinion of others as 80% chance based on the info you have provided sounds like defeatism to me, should be more like 99.9% chance of them getting nothing more than agreed upon visitation within thailand only.

do some searches on this forum regarding legitimisation & speak with issan lawyers who are a forum sponser fora 2nd opinion. good luck.

[venturalaw]

80 percent chance Is so the lawyer for your GF can extract a higher fee. The family from Denmark has realistically NO chance given the facts presented even though the father of the child was married to your GF.

Edited November 6, 2011 by venturalaw

[Mario2008]

Your girlfriend is the mother of the child, her ex-husband the father. Since they were not married, only the mother has parental rights. If they were legally married, they both would have had parental rights.

Wathever the case is/was, it doesn't matter. With the death of the ex-husband the mother would have automotically have sole parental rights.That would probably also be the case under Danish law.

What the family probably is trying to get is not custody, but visitation rights. That might work in Denmark/the EU, where there is exetensive legislation regarding this, but not in Thailand. Here, they don't stand a chance.

If they really want custody over the child, they would have to proof that the mother is a danger to child. Even in that case, the court will sooner reward custody of the child to family of the mother than to family of the fahter, as they will take the child away from Thailand and the mother.

[seekingfriends]

hi . no thai court will allow the child to be removed from thailand by your gf ex and he is onl the ex. no matter if he is the childs father .he will never get the child out of the country . james in hat yai

[MikeyIdea]

This is an easy case so don't worry Rudeboy. The only thing you need to worry about is the mother getting a Thai lawyer who doesn't fight for her 100%

The mothers stand point is easy and she must be very very firm every time she says it;

1) I will never ever allow my child to leave Thailand

2) I am capable of giving my child a good upbrining and good education and do not need distant relatives to help me thank you very much

3) The relatives of the father are welcome to come and see the child in Thailand after appointment, no problem, but only when I as mother is present - only supervised visits

The judges will have no problem accepting this and chance is 100%, not 80%

Don't fall for accepting money from the relatives as that puts the mother under moral obligation to provide them with visitation rights - Don't allow and don't give opportunity to pay money either

- we were told that at around 15 years of age he will have to decide whether he wants to be a thai national or danish

The child can keep both Thai and Danish nationality according to Thai law, no problem. The mother is sole custodian and SHE alone decides what the child can and cannot do for many years to come

Good Luck

[Rudeboy]

thats excellent guys thank you for the replies and advice this has certainly eased my mind and i'm sure it will hers too.. only thing now is this lawyer, he came highly recomended from her uncle who is a captain in the police force(if that means anything),, any idea what sort of money we should be paying for a lawyer for a case like this??? he hasnt given a price yet and as we speak my gf and family are on there way to meet him so will hopefully get a price and some more info this afternoon, but after the comments above i'm thinking a second opinion may be required on the lawyer front,, only thing thats really bugging me is that this all happened a few days after i returned to the UK otherwise i would have remained in thailand, but thinking my stay in the UK will have to be cut short, again thanks for everything guys it is really appreciated..

[ludditeman]

Lets hope this is not a prelude for her asking you to donate money for legal fees.

(but being a deeply suspicious person, I suspect it is, and the timing of you just leaving fits)

The child is in Thailand and under Thai law has no father, he is entitled to a Thai passport and citizenship.

The child is also entitled to a Danish passport and Danish nationality under their law, but as he is not in that country they have no authority to do anything with him.

He does not have to give up either nationality at any age.

Edited November 7, 2011 by ludditeman

[Rudeboy]

Lets hope this is not a prelude for her asking you to donate money for legal fees.

(but being a deeply suspicious person, I suspect it is)

The child is in Thailand and under Thai law has no father, he is entitled to a Thai passport and citizenship.

The child is also entitled to a Danish passport and Danish nationality under their law, but as he is not in that country they have no authority to do anything with him.

He does not have to give up either nationality at any age.

Your suspicions are wrong my friend,, we have already talked about the legal fee's and as i said in my openening post her family have money and her mother and father have already said they will pay all legal fee's and do not want any money from myself, her mother and father are like this when it comes to her son as they are of the thinking that he is not my son so i shouldnt be paying for him even though i can afford it no problem, the family have never asked for a penny from me in the time i've been with my gf and even when i take them out for meals they still dont like it when i refuse to let them pay,, so its definately not about money this i can assure you....

I know its hard for some people to believe on this forum but not all thai women are out to get money

Edited November 7, 2011 by Rudeboy

[venturalaw]

Lets hope this is not a prelude for her asking you to donate money for legal fees.

(but being a deeply suspicious person, I suspect it is)

The child is in Thailand and under Thai law has no father, he is entitled to a Thai passport and citizenship.

The child is also entitled to a Danish passport and Danish nationality under their law, but as he is not in that country they have no authority to do anything with him.

He does not have to give up either nationality at any age.

I know its hard for some people to believe on this forum but not all thai women are out to get money

It's not that is hard to believe, just that it is extremely rare. Good for you.

[Rudeboy]

Lets hope this is not a prelude for her asking you to donate money for legal fees.

(but being a deeply suspicious person, I suspect it is)

The child is in Thailand and under Thai law has no father, he is entitled to a Thai passport and citizenship.

The child is also entitled to a Danish passport and Danish nationality under their law, but as he is not in that country they have no authority to do anything with him.

He does not have to give up either nationality at any age.

I know its hard for some people to believe on this forum but not all thai women are out to get money

It's not that is hard to believe, just that it is extremely rare. Good for you.

okokok fair point, ive done my years in pattaya and bangkok and heard the horror stories so know the score 55555,, luckily i've found an absolute gem.

Quick update on todays happenings, solicitor has now been presented with all the paperwork etc and given the full story and is now saying same as you guys that there's absolutley no chance the ex's family are getting my gf's son which is excellent news and just what my gf needed to hear, its the first time i've heard her laugh over the phone since this all started,

The cheek of the ex's family though,, there's 5 of them coming to sahkon nakon in a few days time and the sister has emailed my gf twice now asking if she would book them a hotel in the area... <deleted>... myself and the solicitor have both told her not to reply to the emails and have no contact with them unless absolutely nescessary..

anyways i'll keep you's updated as things progress..

Rudi..

[ludditeman]

It might be a good time for your gf to visit a friend or family member a long way away.

Just until the foreigners go home. Why risk a meeting.