Why Do Some (Most) Thai People Don'T Like To Ask, If They Don'T Know Something?

[vel_tins]

Sometimes, it drives me really, really crazy.

GF is a "good" example. Many times, when we go shopping, I don't want to search half hour for a product, for example in a supermarket or home pro shop.

I tell GF, go to the staff and ask where it is. But before she goes (only with a little bit pressure), she want's to discuss with me, (the item could be here or there and she want to look first etc. p.p)

Yesterday I needed a metal sheet ~ 1x1 meter and 1 mm thickness. Told her, to go to the iron shop 200 m down the street (unfortunately no english speaking) and ask them where they buy their stuff.

Because I see them work with this sort of metal every day.

She came back 30 min later and I asked her why she needed 30 min for 200 meter and back.

She told me, she looked (not asked) in some shops, before she finally decided to ask the guy in the iron shop for the source.

And she came back with the answer: The shop where they buy is in Pattaya Tai, no soi, no nothing only Pattaya Tai.......:jap:

I asked her, why you don't ask him for better description of the location?

She answered: I don't like to ask him, I want to find out myself.......................

At this moment I believed, I was in the "hidden camera" TV comedy....

Why so many Thai people ( not only GF) act light this? Can somebody enlighten me?

[bkkjames]

I thought it was they preferred to wander around aimlessly for an hour instead of saving 55 mins while losing face.

[maiphedmaiaroi]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

[transam]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

WRONG. You must be new here in LOS. The no ask syndrome is a nationwide thing, difficult to understand for us farangs but that's the way it is. BUT, my pals lady is a rare lady, up front asking all the questions for him, dee maa.

[seasia]

Hi

I`ve noticed it and often wondered why the reluctance to ask.

[johnbits]

Are you asking why do women like to shop?

Why do men not like to ask for directions when going somewhere?

[Latindancer]

This has happened to me a lot. Finally I worked out the answer (also because of a similar thread here or elsewhere).

If your GF asked and got an answer, you would be driven nuts in that case too. The fact is : without meaning to bash Thais, many people in Thailand are pretty clueless due to lack of education. So they either don't know the answer, or have only a vague idea. The problem is that they like to be helpful. Also they don't want to lose face by saying "I don't know". It could also be that they don't want to admit to themselves that they don't know, or only have a vague idea. So you get sent in the wrong direction.....on a wild goose chase. Or given the wrong information.

I always ask a FEW people, and insist my wife does too. Problem is, she hates to ask........

Edited December 21, 2011 by Latindancer

[theblether]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

[jamescollister]

If you have to ask, it shows that you don't know something. Loss of face, worse still is if you ask and the person you are asking doesn't know they will say not have in Thailand or make something up. Drives me round the twist at times. Just went through this a week or so ago trying to buy a pick [ digging holes type] Got answers from they don't have in Thailand to only big Government has them.Jim

[Moonrakers]

Mrs. Rakers has no problem with asking.

The problem often lies with getting a helpful answer.

[ludditeman]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

Have you ever tried that?

They will have a chat about something completely different for 30 minutes and not bother with what you wanted.

[smokie36]

I don't care either way. I just love that pitiful smile they give you for being so dumb as to not understand ....why.....

[jamescollister]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

Have you ever tried that?

They will have a chat about something completely different for 30 minutes and not bother with what you wanted.

Very true, a simple question is often lost in the forthcoming conversation. In my pick case the locals didn't know the Thai word which made it harder. Ends up a pick in local Thai is kun pic. Jim

[janverbeem]

Most of the time when I am in this situation,I will get the answer,no heab.

[kokesaat]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

[janverbeem]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

So what you do with your few basic Thai words and the dictionary when you get the answer spewed out in fluent Thai

[transam]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

So what you do with your few basic Thai words and the dictionary when you get the answer spewed out in fluent Thai

OR Lao.

[onionluke]

Why would any trader freely hand out knowledge to any customer ?

[exeter]

I think thais dont like to cause a problem for one another and they dont want you to know that they dont know. Their education system does not encourage them ask questions or question what is happening around them. They have not experienced the western world, to many there is no knowledge of anything outside the borders of the Kingdom( this is the centre of the world- as they know it).:jap:

[sezze]

IMHO , they do not hesitate to ask if they do not know it , but they only ask older people when possible . I never had a problem with it and at most times it does not bother me . When they do not know exactly what you want , then they are very reluctant to ask people because they are not sure what they do need to ask and they get questions back , which they cannot answer .

For example , in your case with the steel plate . Does the metal sheet need to be corrugated , painted , soft steel of stainless or any other requirements , etc etc . I they know what you want and they do know the shop has it ( or might know where it is ) then they go ask without an instant to a older person . When they have only a vague idea what you want , then they are reluctant .

I witnessed this kind of behaviour many times . Gas line splitters , we went up for look and we went inside 4 or 5 shops and in and out within each shop in less then a minute because they asked straight away and the people from the shop told them , we do not have but you can try shop over there . Other example . My contact lenses are finished and the brand was not ready available . Very reluctant to ask because she does not know the difference between all the types available and she does get questions back which she cannot answer .

[PattayaParent]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

Have you ever tried that?

They will have a chat about something completely different for 30 minutes and not bother with what you wanted.

I remember the first time I came to work in Thailand and was going with a mate and his family up country for Songkran. I was sure heading out of Bangkok we had taken the wrong turn and we stopped at a junction for my mate's Thai wife to ask directions. After 15 minutes she came back with some food and no directions.

Her reason? She couldn't understand what the other Thai person had told her.

They can't understand their own language which isw hy you hear them repeat the same thing over and over again before the other person gets it, even though YOU as a non native speaker understands!

[vel_tins]

Why would any trader freely hand out knowledge to any customer ?

They don't sell the stuff, they only work with it...building steel doors etc...

Their education system does not encourage them ask questions or question what is happening around them.

This seems to be the best explanation, so far..but....

Normally, when I need something, I print out a picture and a translation of the wanted item.

But this time I thought, a simple plain metal sheet would not cause a problem

[PattayaParent]

Another example is how Thais can't give directions.

I have known for some tme that our company drivers can't navigate so asked a secretary proficient in English to give me directions to a particular restaurant.

The directions I receeived were 'turn right off Sukhunvit to PMY, and at the next set of lights it's on you left.

The correct set of directions SHOULD have been turn 'turn right off Sukhunvit to PMY, and at the next set of lights turn left and it's 100m on your right'

I was 100m wrong with the directions but could have easily been 100kms wrong.

Maybe Thais know they can't trust Thai directions?

[maxme]

No confidence in themselves and the chance of losing face often result in bizarre behavior. Like when asking a Thai guy directions and he answers back with either a pouting or an angry face.

It´s about how we are taught. Most farangs are taught to think for themselves and be independent, Thais are not.

In many cases they can´t see the logic we do and vice versa. If you want to change that then you have change the quality of education in this country.

It's sometimes pretty harmless but sometimes pretty annoying but it's worse on them.

[Tonto21]

You know it's not only Thailand, or Asia… try Africa….Anywhere where some people feel the only power they have is saving face, or looking knowledgeable.It's all some people have in this world and the chance to look or be taken as someone knowing more than the person asking the question. In Thailand it's ingrained on the Thai way of thinking. Look at the education system…..It tells everyoneThai that they are the dogs dangly bits, but does nothing to educate them. Here in Thailand not to know something is a sign of weakness, so, in most cases any old BS will work as calling someone out on their crap is bad form, and not the Thai way…….And the show rolls on. The funny thing is they know they are bull shitters, my GF does it when I ask a question and she doesn't know the answer……..Very funny, I just look at her and smile, she will just keep digging deeper, even knowing I've found her out…Poor girl……I will push it, so now she's learnt not to try with the BS answers. She has said a few times now, "I don't know" and laughs, but I think it hurts her a little to go against an accepted line of BS!

Edited December 21, 2011 by Tonto21

[maiphedmaiaroi]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

WRONG. You must be new here in LOS. The no ask syndrome is a nationwide thing, difficult to understand for us farangs but that's the way it is. BUT, my pals lady is a rare lady, up front asking all the questions for him, dee maa.

Wrong. As i said it all depends on who you hang around with.

[Forethat]

I think thais dont like to cause a problem for one another and they dont want you to know that they dont know. Their education system does not encourage them ask questions or question what is happening around them. They have not experienced the western world, to many there is no knowledge of anything outside the borders of the Kingdom( this is the centre of the world- as they know it). :jap:

I second this explanation. From what I have heard it is even worse - in many situations in school they aren't even ALLOWED to ask questions. Instead, they are being TOLD.

The phenomenon is closely related to TV-members reluctance to admit being wrong. One wonders what their excuse is...?

[StreetCowboy]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

WRONG. You must be new here in LOS. The no ask syndrome is a nationwide thing, difficult to understand for us farangs but that's the way it is. BUT, my pals lady is a rare lady, up front asking all the questions for him, dee maa.

Wrong. As i said it all depends on who you hang around with.

I suppose he tries to avoid arrogant know-it-alls.

I don't like asking questions, for fear of looking stupid. Also, when I am out of my depth, like when someone asks me to go and find out something , but doesn't really make it clear what they want to know. If I don't know the right words for something, if I am out my technical depth, I don't like to ask questions. If I believe the other person will not know the answer, I prefer to avoid a long and embarrassing conversation riddled with stupidity and mistakes on both sides.

I expect a lot of Thai people are the same.

For me, I think some of it also comes from being colour-blind. I learnt at primary school that other people do not understand that what is obvious to most is not obvious to all.

SC

[Forethat]

For me, I think some of it also comes from being colour-blind. I learnt at primary school that other people do not understand that what is obvious to most is not obvious to all.

"It's not what we don't know that's the problem, it's what we know that ain't so."

-Mark Twain...?

[WebBangkok]

I don't like to ask to, because I know everything.