Why Do Some (Most) Thai People Don'T Like To Ask, If They Don'T Know Something?

[WebBangkok]

On a serious note, I think Thai people are a little shy by nature.

I think its cute in girls unless its about something really important.

[StreetCowboy]

I don't like to ask to, because I know everything.

... and the rest, I make up as I go.

[mca]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

So what you do with your few basic Thai words and the dictionary when you get the answer spewed out in fluent Thai

Back in the days, newly, proudly and perhaps dangerously armed with my freshly acquired Thai language "skills", I went to a temple and asked this young monk what the relevence of the picture of an ancient monk was.

Didn't understand a single frigging word he said.

For all I know he might have been saying the old monk used to play centre-half for Locomotiv Moscow and wrestled pandas in his spare time.

[mca]

The phenomenon is closely related to TV-members reluctance to admit being wrong. One wonders what their excuse is...?

I've always wondered about that. A simple "My apologies I'm wrong" garners you a lot more respect in my book than the more outlandish answers descending into utter twatdom to cover the fact that you're incorrect.

[Berkshire]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

Have to agree. My GF has no problem asking questions to anyone about anything. I've read all these other asinine theories that farangs have come up with. Are these guys stupid or do they just like to make up crap that makes absolutely no sense. Bottom line: Thais are no different than anyone else regarding asking questions.

[StreetCowboy]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

So what you do with your few basic Thai words and the dictionary when you get the answer spewed out in fluent Thai

Back in the days, newly, proudly and perhaps dangerously armed with my freshly acquired Thai language "skills", I went to a temple and asked this young monk what the relevence of the picture of an ancient monk was.

Didn't understand a single frigging word he said.

For all I know he might have been saying the old monk used to play centre-half for Locomotiv Moscow and wrestled pandas in his spare time.

He was probably saying "You used the wrong tone there, mate. That's a foul obscenity. I think you meant 'revered monk'."

We used to regularly go into the sameChinese restaurant "Shoes and socks" we'd cry out, and he'd bring us egg plant and squid. But if we went into any other restaurant, they just looked at us blankly as if we were mad.

Its all context. That's why any conversation between Thais, or Chinese, seems to take so long. First, they have to get used to each other's speech and their tones. Then establish their relationship. Then, if its appropriate, they can ask a question. But don't get started on food... I think Thais are the same; Chinese are really interested in food, and take it much more seriously than we (Brits) do. So any converation involving food involves a long discourse with the serving staff, while we just wait patiently for our turn - "Big mac and fries". It would be like Dr Livingstone asking for a bus ticket "I'd like a single journey ticket please, going up the high street, over the bridge - the old bridge - past the station..." (sorry I can't write a David Attenbourgh accent)

SC

[outofoz]

Learn to speak Thai......you don't have to be fluent to ask simple questions. After a few such episodes with my wife (to a Toyota salesman: how many liters does the tank hold? to a EGAT employee: why does my electricity go off for hours at a time?...etc....questions my wife wasn't interested in asking), I learned enough to do the asking myself.

If you know a few basics and have a dictionary handy, you can look up a few vocab words before doing the asking. It's not as hard as you think.....and it might save a relationship. Just like most people have a notch at the bottom of their ear lobe, most Thais have a 'don't ask questions' gene. It's the way it is.

So what you do with your few basic Thai words and the dictionary when you get the answer spewed out in fluent Thai

very true.

i always find my thai is much improved when the person im speaking to understands a little English

[TigerWan]

While this reluctance to ask questions is annoying, time consuming and I believe is a major detriment to the intellect, the real frustration is when I can't get perfectly reasonable questions answered. You really have to push and I know it doesn't endear me to them, but I am long past caring.

[garrya]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

WRONG. You must be new here in LOS. The no ask syndrome is a nationwide thing, difficult to understand for us farangs but that's the way it is. BUT, my pals lady is a rare lady, up front asking all the questions for him, dee maa.

Wrong. As i said it all depends on who you hang around with.

No mate, you are wrong in this subject. The reluctance of asking questions features a lot of the thais. I have experienced this numerous times and in various cases.

[elektrified]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

Good idea. Why not just ask yourself? I never depend on others to get things done.

[jaideeguy]

It's mostly about 'FACE' [or loosing it] . My TW does the same and now, I just go to the sales lady/guy and stumble thru my Thaiglish and only then will the TW jump in and ask to save my 'FACE'.....otherwise we would just wander around the shop lost, which is the TW's style. I just wanna get my job done and get out asap!!

[Berkshire]

Obviously your gf isnt the sharpest girl around or you just hang around with stupid people.

WRONG. You must be new here in LOS. The no ask syndrome is a nationwide thing, difficult to understand for us farangs but that's the way it is. BUT, my pals lady is a rare lady, up front asking all the questions for him, dee maa.

Wrong. As i said it all depends on who you hang around with.

No mate, you are wrong in this subject. The reluctance of asking questions features a lot of the thais. I have experienced this numerous times and in various cases.

No mate, you are wrong. I've rarely experienced this in Thais, and if it happens, it's about the same frequency as westerners.

[Toxane]

Here's a bizarre concept for you......why don't you learn the Thai language and go ask yourself? Or maybe, go with your gf and get her to translate?

+1

[transam]

It's mostly about 'FACE' [or loosing it] . My TW does the same and now, I just go to the sales lady/guy and stumble thru my Thaiglish and only then will the TW jump in and ask to save my 'FACE'.....otherwise we would just wander around the shop lost, which is the TW's style. I just wanna get my job done and get out asap!!

Absolutely correct.

[tingtongtourist]

I agree with many poster here,also i not like to ask because have got so many wrong answer and sent in wrong direction so often, and given wrong info.

If you ask for direction and speak Thai a little you csn ask people "have you ever been to ...?

Only if they say yes do you ask for the direction

[wayned]

It's mostly about 'FACE' [or loosing it] . My TW does the same and now, I just go to the sales lady/guy and stumble thru my Thaiglish and only then will the TW jump in and ask to save my 'FACE'.....otherwise we would just wander around the shop lost, which is the TW's style. I just wanna get my job done and get out asap!!

Absolutely correct.

Absolutely, Absolutely correct!

A few years ago I was driving to my wife's mother's house with her sister in the back seat. After about 70 kilometers we came to an intersection and I asked "which way"? My wife said left, her sister said right, I WENT STRAIGHT! I pulled into a small store and told my wife to go ask them how to get to "Sawengha" -the name of the town. She told me that she didn't want to ask. I asked why and she said that if she asked, the peolpe would think that she was STUPID, and if they didn't know they would tell her anything so that she wouldn't think that they were STUPID. So the STUPID farang got out the map, went inside and got good directions. It's all about FACE! When we go shopping, it's like pulling teeth to get her to ask where things are, she'll wander around for hours before she asks and if the clerk doesn't know the typical answer is "mi mee". even though I can see what we were looking for just down the asile

[domomc]

Funny so much. I get it all the time myself in everyday life and guess get immuned to a degree. My wife is a Thai doctor and I often ask her how they can run hospitals efficiently with this lack of communication ability. She says most doctors or nurses usually don't ask questions too much! Amazing Thailand. Problem is my wife asks questions too much and she has lived all her life here so I guess there are some exceptions to the rule about. Merry New year everyone...or is that Christmas

[wineman]

It's all to do with "Face"..

[transam]

It's mostly about 'FACE' [or loosing it] . My TW does the same and now, I just go to the sales lady/guy and stumble thru my Thaiglish and only then will the TW jump in and ask to save my 'FACE'.....otherwise we would just wander around the shop lost, which is the TW's style. I just wanna get my job done and get out asap!!

Absolutely correct.

Absolutely, Absolutely correct!

A few years ago I was driving to my wife's mother's house with her sister in the back seat. After about 70 kilometers we came to an intersection and I asked "which way"? My wife said left, her sister said right, I WENT STRAIGHT! I pulled into a small store and told my wife to go ask them how to get to "Sawengha" -the name of the town. She told me that she didn't want to ask. I asked why and she said that if she asked, the peolpe would think that she was STUPID, and if they didn't know they would tell her anything so that she wouldn't think that they were STUPID. So the STUPID farang got out the map, went inside and got good directions. It's all about FACE! When we go shopping, it's like pulling teeth to get her to ask where things are, she'll wander around for hours before she asks and if the clerk doesn't know the typical answer is "mi mee". even though I can see what we were looking for just down the asile

Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely correct . Some here have a lot to learn about Thai folk. Of course the girls in bars perhaps are different but for the real ''ladies'' a different matter.

Edited December 25, 2011 by transam

[ttthailand]

what's even worse is to ask at a store if they have something and then be told they do not only to find it later sitting on the shelf.....clueless.....

[Geekfreaklover]

There's a special kind of smile Thai's use, which I call the polite bullshit smile. Two Thais can have a conversation, they are both lying to one another, and they both know each other is lying; but lie they do. I think it's fascinating. My Mrs asks sends me to ask for directions somewhere new or where to find stuff; I'm farang so immune from the old oriental face game.

Merry wan chritmutt.

GFL.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Totally agree with all these related experiences and attempts at explanation. Easy to just say "they're dumb" and of course in many cases that may be true, but not sufficient explanation generally.

Asking someone for information is asking a favor, and I think a lower person asking a favor from a higher person they've never met is considered very rude, and you're right, why should they help? In this case the asker needs to be both socially bold and intelligent, not a common combination.

Re directions, most Thais are hopeless, I've haven't met one yet with the ability to read a simple map and figure out where to go, even well-educated ones - don't even think about someone at the level of say a taxi driver, many of them can't read anyway. The level of precision required to give good directions, or to follow them is also missing most of the time.

I have found the best strategy when trying to get information is

1. do it myself (yes you must speak Thai)

2. go through a bunch of motocy taxi guys until you get a reasonable one willing to help you out, then pay him double the "just transport" rate - around BKK I usually give about B150 per hour or so if it's just short-hopping around a neighborhood

3. be willing to take your time, chit-chat with people before just asking for their help, or after. if they help you with this issue, there may be more needs later, so cultivate them, find out what you might have to offer them, sometimes its just attention, a little face-building, send biz their way when you can, stop by with a couple of cold ones once in while

Accept the fact that it's not easy here, things that would take ten minutes on the phone or internet back home can take all day here and you still don't find exactly what you're looking for. People tend to have "tunnel vision" about their little piece of the world and aren't willing to think outside the box nor to communicate with lots of people outside their regular network.

Businesses that require this sort of activity hire lots and lots of people to get work done that just one or two would in the West.

If you ever found a savvy ballsy bilingual personal assistant, pay them 30+K a month AND bonuses, presents, treat them like family, they'd be worth their weight in gold. . .

[metisdead]

A post with overly derogatory remarks regarding Thais has been removed as well as the replies to that post. Let's remember this:

8) Not to post extremely negative views of Thailand or derogatory comments directed towards all Thais.

[IMA_FARANG]

There are two aspects to the Asian concept of face. (the idea is common in Asia, not only Thailand).

One, which many foriegers seem to understand, is not embarressing yourself by admitting you don't understand.

The other, and an equally valid part, is not asking another person a question which might force that other person to have to admit that they didn't know the answer to your question. That way you avoid embarressing them.

A poster here on this topic showed you how to correctly ask a question requiring information.

That poster said...if you want to know the directions to XXXXX....first you ask,"Have you ever been to XXXXX?".

If the answer to that question is "Yes", then you ask. "What route did you use to go there,then?".

Find a way to frame your questions like that....and you can get information.

Allow an Asian the privaledge of helping you, and thank him or her for that help allowing THEM to gain face by helping you.

That's how it's done. YOU empower THEM, so you get your desired answer.

In Asian cultures, direct confrontation is to be avoided. Face.

Edited December 25, 2011 by IMA_FARANG

[transam]

There are two aspects to the Asian concept of face. (the idea is common in Asia, not only Thailand).

One, which many foriegers seem to understand, is not embarressing yourself by admitting you don't understand.

The other, and an equally valid part, is not asking another person a question which might force that other person to have to admit that they didn't know the answer to your question. That way you avoid embarressing them.

A poster here on this topic showed you how to correctly ask a question requiring information.

That poster said...if you want to know the directions to XXXXX....first you ask,"Have you ever been to XXXXX?".

If the answer to that question is "Yes", then you ask. "What route did you use to go there,then?".

Find a way to frame your questions like that....and you can get information.

Allow an Asian the privaledge of helping you, and thank him or her for that help allowing THEM to gain face by helping you.

That's how it's done. YOU empower THEM, so you get your desired answer.

Dee ma, good info.

[SimonD]

There are two aspects to the Asian concept of face. (the idea is common in Asia, not only Thailand).

One, which many foriegers seem to understand, is not embarressing yourself by admitting you don't understand.

The other, and an equally valid part, is not asking another person a question which might force that other person to have to admit that they didn't know the answer to your question. That way you avoid embarressing them.

A poster here on this topic showed you how to correctly ask a question requiring information.

That poster said...if you want to know the directions to XXXXX....first you ask,"Have you ever been to XXXXX?".

If the answer to that question is "Yes", then you ask. "What route did you use to go there,then?".

Find a way to frame your questions like that....and you can get information.

Allow an Asian the privaledge of helping you, and thank him or her for that help allowing THEM to gain face by helping you.

That's how it's done. YOU empower THEM, so you get your desired answer.

In Asian cultures, direct confrontation is to be avoided. Face.

+1. An informed and mature response.

[THAIPHUKET]

If you have to ask, it shows that you don't know something. Loss of face, worse still is if you ask and the person you are asking doesn't know they will say not have in Thailand or make something up.

That's it, not admitting that you know nothing, face, face, face

[MAJIC]

It's a culture thing,my wife would never ask the way if we got lost in the car,

and as my Thai is not brilliant,she wised up that if you don't ask then be prepared for a long wait,or other problems,

Thankfully common sense now prevails,and never the mind the face thing.

They wise up eventually,took a few years though!

[Warhammer820]

I have come to the conclusion that they hate curiosity, Although, when I am in a store with my gf, she will say, "What's this?" about 5 times without waiting for me to answer her. It's kind of funny to me, but to each his own.

[bunta71]

Another example is how Thais can't give directions.

I have known for some tme that our company drivers can't navigate so asked a secretary proficient in English to give me directions to a particular restaurant.

The directions I receeived were 'turn right off Sukhunvit to PMY, and at the next set of lights it's on you left.

The correct set of directions SHOULD have been turn 'turn right off Sukhunvit to PMY, and at the next set of lights turn left and it's 100m on your right'

I was 100m wrong with the directions but could have easily been 100kms wrong.

Maybe Thais know they can't trust Thai directions?

Going which direction on Sukhumvit would you make the right turn. Most people cannot give correct and explicit directions.