Got "Janged" Up In Pattaya

[Janged]

So I thought I'd share my story as a means to hopefuly easing my emotions, while seeking advice and also educating those in a similar situation.

About me: 31, Canadian, decent enough looking. I've travelled for many years including Philippines, Colombia and Cuba so I am not new to the bar girl industry. I've learned my lessons already, or so I thought.

The Girl: I met her on night #1 in Pattaya at Sugar Sugar (2 weeks ago). I was into her instantly, and thought I was going to be a lucky one with a successful story.

She claimed (and i believe) she was only in Pattaya for 3 months and it wasn't for her. She was 20 yrs old and as far as I could tell, I did not feel this was a full-time, long-term job for her.

For my week there the girl acted honsetly and sincerely. When she was with me, her cell phone was away, her attention was on me and her attitude was excellent. We started talking about what we would do when I came back to Thailand in the near future and she was telling me she was leaving Pattaya for her home province in a few weeks anyways and she would be happy to continue our "relationship"

The money: I offered to help her out with $10,000 bhot once she confirmed she was leaving pattaya and once I got confirmation from my friend in Pattaya that she was leaving, I sent her the money.

The day after the money arrived: Her phone was disconnected and she's nowhere to be found. My friend in Pattaya has had no luck getting any honest answers from her friends or girls at sugar sugar.

What to do? My friend in Pattaya tells me this is a regular story and the girl played me successfuly and I should let it go and be glad she only took me for $300 or so dollars.

Granted I only knew her for less then a week, but my position is - no girl can be this loving and sweet and then so cruel at the same time. The way she behaved, carried herself and her actions until the last moment appeared so genuine, that it makes this result very difficult.

I'm thinking perhaps her family or friends convinced her to behave a certain way, or something happened that caused her to lose her phone, but clearly logic dictates this was her own decision and she knew what she was doing.

As skeptical as I was of dating a bar girl and despite the fact I was always trying to test her and see if there was dishonesty in her- I believed in her and clearly I made a mistake.

Any helpful advice other then reminding me that I should know better and never take a bar girl seriously?

[Thaddeus]

Shouldn't take long.

[smokie36]

Good slap around the head for ya...

[krading]

Only in Pattaya 3months

Nana 3 months

Phuket 3 months

Samui 3 months

........

[Janged]

Good slap around the head for ya...

But this is normal behaviour? To change cell phone numbers and leave without any warning. Just gone like that?

[smokie36]

Good slap around the head for ya...

But this is normal behaviour? To change cell phone numbers and leave without any warning. Just gone like that?

I agree...normally you'd get fleeced for months or even years....

[expatdreamer]

Good slap around the head for ya...

But this is normal behaviour? To change cell phone numbers and leave without any warning. Just gone like that?

Some of these BGs have multiple phones - she turned off the phone with the number she gave you. But her other phones (for other customers) are still on. Write the $300 off to experience. Small price to pay.

It's just a game - trouble is you took it seriously.

And if you are 31 and decent looking, what are you doing looking for a relationship in a go go bar. Leave that to the old guys with less options.

[johnbits]

So I thought I'd share my story as a means to hopefuly easing my emotions, while seeking advice and also educating those in a similar situation.

About me: 31, Canadian, decent enough looking. I've travelled for many years including Philippines, Colombia and Cuba so I am not new to the bar girl industry. I've learned my lessons already, or so I thought.

The Girl: I met her on night #1 in Pattaya at Sugar Sugar (2 weeks ago). I was into her instantly, and thought I was going to be a lucky one with a successful story.

She claimed (and i believe) she was only in Pattaya for 3 months and it wasn't for her. She was 20 yrs old and as far as I could tell, I did not feel this was a full-time, long-term job for her.

For my week there the girl acted honsetly and sincerely. When she was with me, her cell phone was away, her attention was on me and her attitude was excellent. We started talking about what we would do when I came back to Thailand in the near future and she was telling me she was leaving Pattaya for her home province in a few weeks anyways and she would be happy to continue our "relationship"

The money: I offered to help her out with $10,000 bhot once she confirmed she was leaving pattaya and once I got confirmation from my friend in Pattaya that she was leaving, I sent her the money.

The day after the money arrived: Her phone was disconnected and she's nowhere to be found. My friend in Pattaya has had no luck getting any honest answers from her friends or girls at sugar sugar.

What to do? My friend in Pattaya tells me this is a regular story and the girl played me successfuly and I should let it go and be glad she only took me for $300 or so dollars.

Granted I only knew her for less then a week, but my position is - no girl can be this loving and sweet and then so cruel at the same time. The way she behaved, carried herself and her actions until the last moment appeared so genuine, that it makes this result very difficult.

I'm thinking perhaps her family or friends convinced her to behave a certain way, or something happened that caused her to lose her phone, but clearly logic dictates this was her own decision and she knew what she was doing.

As skeptical as I was of dating a bar girl and despite the fact I was always trying to test her and see if there was dishonesty in her- I believed in her and clearly I made a mistake.

Any helpful advice other then reminding me that I should know better and never take a bar girl seriously?

At this point, there isn't much you can do.

If she has called you in canada before, I assume she will turn up again sooner or later. Then you get to decide what to do, but the 10,000 baht isn't a lot of money.

If it were me in that situation, I would have gotten a copy of her state ID card before I left, gotten phone numbers of her friends, her address where she lived written in thai. That way you can send her a letter or call up her friends to find her.

Since I don't speak thai and it is obvious I don't, I have found it useful to record coverstations when the lady was with her friends and I was around, then later get it translated. It is always interesting what people say about you when they know you can't understand them.

One likes to rationalize that why would she disappear when if she was really playing you, why not keep in contract and try and get more money? Maybe something is really wrong?

Don't know, hard to assume someone who has already made a bad choice of working in the bar industry is going to suddenly behave in a rational way.

[Litlos]

Very abnormal behaviour. Normally they continue to bleed you until dry. Any doubts on this google "The Buffalo is sick" etc, etc, etc.

You have had a relatively cheap lesson in the acting ability of Thai bar girls. Drop it and move on before you get to close and annoy her or her Thai husband/boyfriend. The lesson for annoying her may be an A grade beating by a bunch of locals.

Cheers

[expatdreamer]

OK, after some more thought, most likely explanation is this.

• Currently high season (peak earnings) - Dec/Jan, with lots of guys on holidays in LOS
  
• A richer customer has come along, and taken her away on a holiday elsewhere in Thailand, with offers of big baht. May have even been one of her existing sponsors
  
• While she is with this other guy, she cannot communicate with you
  
• Once this holiday with the other guy is over, and she is back in Pattaya, expect to hear from her, unless the richer customer is immediately proceeding down the buy house/car/major sponsor route - in which case, your 10,000 baht is insignificant to her
  
• If she calls you, expect any one of a multitude of excuses for her lack of communication other than the real reason above, eg mama sick, blah, blah
  

[poanoi]

Sounds like you had a fantastic holiday, at the cost of 300 odd dollars,

i can only hope you have the same blast next time, i'd like to be blown away like that, but i think i'm too old now.

So more power to You

[Berkshire]

But this is normal behaviour? To change cell phone numbers and leave without any warning. Just gone like that?

Probably normal behavior for a BG, not a Thai girl. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself...or her for that matter. Most of these girls have been lied to and deceived many times by guys like you (not you, clearly). They've lost the capacity to truly love or trust and I can't say I blame them. BG's assume that pretty much everything that comes out of the mouth of a customer is a lie. And they're probably right most of the time.

[Briggsy]

She has had a child.

[cardholder]

She probably found you too good looking. This never happens to the old, fat, balding punters.

10k rent for a week is not a bad investment.

Edited December 28, 2011 by cardholder

[BookMan]

Only in Pattaya 3months

Nana 3 months

Phuket 3 months

Samui 3 months

........

+1

[BookMan]

Since I don't speak thai and it is obvious I don't, I have found it useful to record coverstations when the lady was with her friends and I was around, then later get it translated. It is always interesting what people say about you when they know you can't understand them.

really????

[stoneyboy]

She has had a child.

Yes them classic Thai stretch marks give her away,avoid like the plague.

[theblether]

The old saying " If you can fake sincerity you've got it made " applies here. The gentleness/attentiveness etc of the BG's can feel like a drink in a desert to many guys, just put her in you happy memory bank and move on 10,000 baht lighter.

[theblether]

She has had a child.

Yes them classic Thai stretch marks give her away,avoid like the plague.

+1 She has a cheek dancing in a bar with those stretch marks too, must be very!! low lighting.

[janverbeem]

About me: 31, Canadian, decent enough looking. I've travelled for many years including Philippines, Colombia and Cuba so I am not new to the bar girl industry. I've learned my lessons already, or so I thought.

The last 4 words from your sentence were the most important ones.

[cardholder]

She has had a child.

Yes them classic Thai stretch marks give her away,avoid like the plague.

... and why would you do that ?

[Boo]

photo removed from the op, do not post photos of her again.

[MaiChai]

Didn't Stickman say its always the Canadians who always fall for the Thai ploys?

My take on it: enjoy the memory of the experiences. You can't go back to that, so just cherish the memories. Being 31 you are probably young and hansum. No wonder she gave you full attention. Move on.

[bkkjames]

Didn't Stickman say its always the Canadians who always fall for the Thai ploys?

My take on it: enjoy the memory of the experiences. You can't go back to that, so just cherish the memories. Being 31 you are probably young and hansum. No wonder she gave you full attention. Move on.

I thought it was gullable yanks that always believed every word of stickman....

[cigar7]

I agree with expatdreamer's analysis of this matter.

She found a new sponsor. She is giving the new sponsor the same respect she showed you, her undivided attention,by getting a new SIM card and avoiding old customer calls.

As others said, you'll probably get a call, as soon as she is broke.

Did you pay her anything during the week, in addition to the 10K at the end? I guess you had to pay the bar fine(s) and takeout service fees?

[cardholder]

She hasn't ditched you - you have just lost your turn.

[Janged]

I'm very intrigued by many of your responses.

Couple points to follow up:

- sorry for posting the photo. I'm both new to this site and upset with the final result with the girl, so I don't mean to offend.

- I paid her bar fine and for her time, though it was my suggestion to offer her extra money in order to ensure she got out of Sugar Sugar a few weeks earlier so she could see her son and family

- I acknowledge I will never understand her life or decisions, so I won't judge.

- I know the easiest course of action is to give her up and learn the lesson, but I still believe in her and her potential.

- both ways, I can't do a thing unless she reaches out to me.

- thank you for some interesting and very positive responses. Good to know that it was possible she was sincere in her feelings, but the moment I left the country, her loyalties have to change - that's her work.

Happy New Years!

[andyko]

One likes to rationalize that why would she disappear when if she was really playing you, why not keep in contract and try and get more money? Maybe something is really wrong?

really worrying

[BookMan]

I'm thinking perhaps her family or friends convinced her to behave a certain way, or something happened that caused her to lose her phone, but clearly logic dictates this was her own decision and she knew what she was doing.

Her job as a BG is to provide a fantasy for her clients, that being you. Each fantasy might be different, but the end result is the same. You are a client and she is in business to make money. The 10,000 baht was just business to her.. Maybe she doesn't see it so simply, but the end result is the same

Part of your fantasy was the 'save the bargirl routine' and 'this bargirl is different routine'. Seems like you got the service you paid for.

Of course, if she reappears all will be forgiven! Her Grandmother really did die suddenly and she had to go home to issan for funeral...

[Ulysses G.]

10k rent for a week is not a bad investment.

Very true.