Got "Janged" Up In Pattaya

[TheWalkingMan]

These things happen and just remember... you will never really know what is going on with the girls. All the attention, fawning over you etc is there for you to feel good and in turn you will make her feel good (cash into her hand, movies, dinner, clothing, presents, traveling etc). That is basically how it works.

Also, like another poster mentioned maybe a bigger spender showed up and you got the bum's rush. Things like that happen all the time. My tiny story - I have known one of the girls for several years, popped into her bar and said that I would be back in 90 minutes. When I went back she was gone off with another chap. Her phone was off for 2-3 days (cannot remember), anyway when I caught up with her and asked what happened she mentioned the big money the guy gave her. It was not big deal with me, but from my view she should have popped into the bathroom and sent me an SMS saying something. But nothing, zip. Like I said, I have known this chick for several years and a little courtesy would have been nice. Her reaction to this... blank stares and only mentioning money. Money rules and everything else is just there.

[Prezident]

Don't take it so hard guy. Last time I was there I happily gave the baht I had remaining at the end of my trip (just under $500) to one of the girls for showing me such a good time while I was there. She is what I would consider to be a good friend now, but I'm under no illusion that business is going to stop while I'm gone, and I'm sure she needs the money more than I do.

I still talk to her once in a while to see how she's doing, and I'm sure I'll see her again the next time I visit, but we both understand that we're just friends.

[kdadane]

You had a good time while you were together - Write off the 10K - One swipe of your ATM is all it is. Be lucky she didn't play you harder when she realized you were interested.

[ttthailand]

The reason her phone is off the hook is because she is busy with another customer. I have been living in Thailand on and off for 17 years. Trust me when I tell you that she is with someone else. Perhaps a new customer or an old one. When she was with you I would guess she shut off her phone thus giving you her full attention, good working girl. Why would she not do the same with another customer.....you are her customer.....understand ? Let me tell you one more time ....you are her customer !!! I have fell in love with these girls before and it does not do you any good to even try to take care of them. They are young, beautiful and sweet as pie but they lie like crazy and it is really all about the money, sad but true. Now if you are staying in Thailand and she can live with you and you can provide her with 20,000 Baht a month and also pay for everything else she will be true to you as long as you are there. If you go away for more than a month or two you have a slight chance that she won't go back to her old ways.....trust me it has happened to me before..... don't let her break your heart !

My advice, remember the good time but move on.

[Janged]

At this point, I have zero expectations of her.

I am trying to understand thesituation and I appreciate everyone's feedback.

Being cut off with no warnings sucks and I just hope she tries to communicate with me and soon.

Happy New Year everyone!

[poanoi]

She is rational.

You are on the other side of the world, and perhaps will do a trip next year, or perhaps not.

It was a great time for both of you, move on

or did you think about marriage, or perhaps sending sulking emails for a couple of years to no avail

[DoctorG]

At this point, I have zero expectations of her.

I am trying to understand thesituation and I appreciate everyone's feedback.

Being cut off with no warnings sucks and I just hope she tries to communicate with me and soon.

Wow, she really got to you didn't she?

I know it is difficult but you have to understand "it is just a game".

[Pinot]

You're out 10,000 bt. What was the question again? How long did you think 10,000 bt was going to buy you? She was with someone else before you're plane left the runway.

My experience is that 3 months as a bar girl changes them forever. It's always, only about the money. The story makes you sound naive. Want to find a girlfriend? Make sure she's never been in the game.

[RickBradford]

At this point, I have zero expectations of her.

I am trying to understand thesituation and I appreciate everyone's feedback.

Being cut off with no warnings sucks and I just hope she tries to communicate with me and soon.

Thais of all types hate confrontation of any sort, so she won't contact you until a) she's finished with her current client and b .) she's persuaded herself to forget that her behaviour might have appeared rude.

You certainly mustn't judge her by Western standards -- Thais have a much more flexible arrangement with the truth and the facts of the matter than is normal in the West.

Edited January 1, 2012 by RickBradford

[pomchop]

She will be back in touch NO DOUBT.

And she will have a good sounding excuse...she lost the phone, her ma/pa/brother in hospital...she was in hospital, etc etc.

The REAL question you should ask yourself is HOW WILL YOU RESPOND?

If you truly like her and truly understand that there WILL be other customers then just spend time with her when you are in Thailand....always make SURE to pay her for every session and even give her a bit of extra baht if you want from time to time. Have fun, enjoy your time with her and who knows maybe someday down the road you might actually end up as a full time boyfriend for a while at least.Nothing is impossible, maybe improbable or unlikely but not impossible. But DO NOT think that she is going to move back to her village and sit and wait patiently by the phone for you to call. Won't happen and sure as hell will not happen for 10,000 baht.

Not to preach but I have typically found the best cure for being a bit lovesick over a Thai bar girl is to go out and get yourself a few more thai bar girls. There are a LOT of fish in the sea especially for a young handsome generous guy.

You may even find that when she finds she has some competition that she will "lub you too mutt".

[fasteddie]

Welcome to Thailand!

[Tanaka]

These things happen and just remember... you will never really know what is going on with the girls. All the attention, fawning over you etc is there for you to feel good and in turn you will make her feel good (cash into her hand, movies, dinner, clothing, presents, traveling etc). That is basically how it works.

Also, like another poster mentioned maybe a bigger spender showed up and you got the bum's rush. Things like that happen all the time. My tiny story - I have known one of the girls for several years, popped into her bar and said that I would be back in 90 minutes. When I went back she was gone off with another chap. Her phone was off for 2-3 days (cannot remember), anyway when I caught up with her and asked what happened she mentioned the big money the guy gave her. It was not big deal with me, but from my view she should have popped into the bathroom and sent me an SMS saying something. But nothing, zip. Like I said, I have known this chick for several years and a little courtesy would have been nice. Her reaction to this... blank stares and only mentioning money. Money rules and everything else is just there.

You are just another farang/customer to her. You are not a friend and you are not Thai. And you never will be. Either. Courtesy? Not even a thought about it in her mind.

[rusty1976]

I am presently up in the village with 2 of the sugar sugar girls.... known them for a few years... they use to work champagne,... can you give me her bar name...?

[rusty1976]

I am presently up in the village with 2 of the sugar sugar girls.... known them for a few years... they use to work champagne,... can you give me her bar name...?

As many other posts in the past have said: Its better to rent than buy....

Go-go girls are the worst of the breed... extreme bullshit artists. Just grab their phone when they are in the shower and have a look at how many phone numbers from other countries are in it...!!!

Dont be a sucker and dont send money,... the good looking girls in sugar sugar are making 30,000 THB per month thats a base salary, plus bar fines on top, then the idiots that send money!

[Lancashirelad]

Rusty's post has led on nicely to what I was going to say: makes me laugh when people mention giving them "a bit of extra baht." If the the girl is young, cute & sexy and has the chat, working in a Go Go, they are often earning more than the guy who is giving them money. 50,000 a month and up easily.

Add together: basic salary (naked gets more) + lady drink commission + cash tips + bar fine kick back + private arrangement fees + "a bit of extra baht", the odd 10k here & there + several sponsors + presents such as clothes, phones, etc. often sold or pawned as soon as the buyer is on the plane.

OP you didn't mention if or where the money was picked up? Western Union (other co's are available) will tell you if you ask.

Edited January 2, 2012 by Lancashirelad

[Daewoo]

Janged,

I am betting that The Girl provided "The Girlfriend Experience", which included accepting your 10K Departure Tax, and assumed she would never see you again... despite all of the alcohol fueled declarations...

It is wierd that she would break off communications, but easily explained that she is either with a long term returning customer, or she lost one of her many SIM cards... I would normally expect a call or SMS every month or two while she tries to find out whether you are a returning customer or not... just like in any business, the cost of attracting new customers is much higher than retaining existing ones...

It always surprises me that so many of the girls have only been working for 3 months, even the ones I have seen in the same bar for years... I would put money on the fact that she has been on the game for 5 years, is 23, not 20, earns between 40K and 50K so she isn't going to give it up for 10K... and probably has at least one Farrang who considers her to be his wife, plus at least another couple who are paying a salary...

Just think of it this way... for the week you were there, you treated her well, you paid her well, she appreciates it, and perhaps did go 'back home' for a weekend to see her son... so she came out of it OK, you came out of it OK, move along please, nothing to see here...

Daewoo

[Shurup]

Was it the same with all your other bargirls? You said you have an experience in a few other countries...

[Janged]

Was it the same with all your other bargirls? You said you have an experience in a few other countries...

Not in Philippines nor Colombia.

But I admit that this girl from Sugar Sugar was more special then the rest, that's the big difference.

I will learn from this- i hope!

[Shurup]

Was it the same with all your other bargirls? You said you have an experience in a few other countries...

Not in Philippines nor Colombia.

But I admit that this girl from Sugar Sugar was more special then the rest, that's the big difference.

I will learn from this- i hope!

Well, you really DO sound like you are new to the bargirl scene.

[Travel2003]

Was it the same with all your other bargirls? You said you have an experience in a few other countries...

Not in Philippines nor Colombia.

But I admit that this girl from Sugar Sugar was more special then the rest, that's the big difference.

I will learn from this- i hope!

Well, you really DO sound like you are new to the bargirl scene.

Agree.

OP states:

31, Canadian, decent enough looking. I've travelled for many years including Philippines, Colombia and Cuba so I am not new to the bar girl industry. I've learned my lessons already, or so I thought.

Then OP continue acting like a naive first timer in his posts.

Troll.

[TheWalkingMan]

These things happen and just remember... you will never really know what is going on with the girls. All the attention, fawning over you etc is there for you to feel good and in turn you will make her feel good (cash into her hand, movies, dinner, clothing, presents, traveling etc). That is basically how it works.

Also, like another poster mentioned maybe a bigger spender showed up and you got the bum's rush. Things like that happen all the time. My tiny story - I have known one of the girls for several years, popped into her bar and said that I would be back in 90 minutes. When I went back she was gone off with another chap. Her phone was off for 2-3 days (cannot remember), anyway when I caught up with her and asked what happened she mentioned the big money the guy gave her. It was not big deal with me, but from my view she should have popped into the bathroom and sent me an SMS saying something. But nothing, zip. Like I said, I have known this chick for several years and a little courtesy would have been nice. Her reaction to this... blank stares and only mentioning money. Money rules and everything else is just there.

You are just another farang/customer to her. You are not a friend and you are not Thai. And you never will be. Either. Courtesy? Not even a thought about it in her mind.

When in the same situation with other chicks, the ones who I have known for years, they either send me an SMS or call letting me know what was up. Even had one who was sitting with her customer come over to me and say that the guy was a big spender so let's get together next time. Not all the chicks lack courtesy and some do understand a semblance of customer service.

[DLock]

The reason her phone is off the hook is because she is busy with another customer. I have been living in Thailand on and off for 17 years. Trust me when I tell you that she is with someone else. Perhaps a new customer or an old one. When she was with you I would guess she shut off her phone thus giving you her full attention, good working girl. Why would she not do the same with another customer.....you are her customer.....understand ? Let me tell you one more time ....you are her customer !!! I have fell in love with these girls before and it does not do you any good to even try to take care of them. They are young, beautiful and sweet as pie but they lie like crazy and it is really all about the money, sad but true. Now if you are staying in Thailand and she can live with you and you can provide her with 20,000 Baht a month and also pay for everything else she will be true to you as long as you are there. If you go away for more than a month or two you have a slight chance that she won't go back to her old ways.....trust me it has happened to me before..... don't let her break your heart !

My advice, remember the good time but move on.

The irony in your post is astounding given the thread you are running asking why your 20yo gf won't take you back to the village and what does that mean.

Perhaps you should follow your own advice.

[radiola]

another scam, hell yes

i was scammed with a uni girl, what can you expect from a bar girl with stretchmarks?

do you think she is a good girl? hell no

keep your money away from her, like i did from uni girl, then you see the real story

[Janged]

Latest update...

Her phone is back up and running, and she (or someone else) is answering the phone, but not saying a thing. W

Weird situation altogether, and I'm probably in need of letting this go.

[Digitalbanana]

You haven't already? I lost interest after the first post... like any consumable, just buy a new one.

[radiola]

yes get a new sl... i mean girl, i have currently two

[janverbeem]

Latest update...

Her phone is back up and running, and she (or someone else) is answering the phone, but not saying a thing. W

Weird situation altogether, and I'm probably in need of letting this go.

I think you should change your username to " desperate hopeless crybaby ".

About me: 31, Canadian, decent enough looking. I've travelled for many years including Philippines, Colombia and Cuba so I am not new to the bar girl industry. I've learned my lessons already, or so I thought.

Give me a break.

[Fookhaht]

Any helpful advice other then reminding me that I should know better and never take a bar girl seriously?

Not really. You've said it all.