The Break Up Conversation, Need Your Analysis

[angelparadise]

Background:

We are a group of sociology students wanted to see how gender difference influence relationship. We used a real conversation in this test. We think somewhat it reflects some common issues people face in relationship. Some personal information has been desensitized. We want to put this post in male forum and female forum and generate response. Please kindly help us.

This is a conversation between a woman and a man. The woman is a busy working professional. The man was a busy working professional but now taking long holiday to travel and taking course. They met in a trip. They were kinda dating each other. The man said he really likes the woman. The woman was not sure whether the man is right for her, but they agree to give a bit try. They spend a whole month together and now live in two different cities. (she is in B CITY, he is in T city) They haven’t seen each other for a month.

The context of this conversation is, the woman was facing a huge challenge from work. Someone made up a trouble and made it big, so the big boss stop her project that she has been working on for 6 months, just 5 days before the deliver day. She had to end it, 1 day before the deliver day, because otherwise it will drag more people into trouble. She has been in pain for more than a day.

Please help out if you can carefully read through all details, we’ll appreciate your genuine advise or analysis.

Please do not judge and comment without objectively understand the conversation.

We want to know

1. Your gender, age, relationship status

2. Your analysis of these two persons’ personality. If you can directly link your analysis with quoting their words, it would be better

3. Is the woman too demanding or the man is not sensitive enough?

4. Do you advice these two people to work out problems and try to date each other or they better off find other people?

5. Any other general comment that is helpful in find out how people should deal with gender caused issue in relationship?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday15:09:53: Woman: Reply me after u came out, can u pass B city to fly oversea?

Yesterday19:27:57: Man: Geez what an exhausting day, Feel totally burnt out.

Yesterday19:30:40: Man: I'm gonna check prices of total trip, then choose the best option. So not sure if I'll be through B city.

Yesterday19:31:16: Woman: I cancelled my trip. Come to B city

Yesterday19:32:15: Man: Why did you cancel your trip?

Yesterday19:54:15: Woman: I had to right

Yesterday20:00:30: Woman: I wanted to come directly to your place.

Yesterday20:36:26: Man: Huh?

Yesterday20:40:31: Woman: Wow you replied my previous message with an "huh" not "come to me baby"

Yesterday20:43:50: Man: Ya cause your two sentences together don't make sense

Yesterday20:43:58: Man: So I said huh

Yesterday20:44:32: Man: Since I asked a question of why did you cancel your trip and got that as a response

Yesterday20:46:37: Woman: You can say come to me and figure out later

Yesterday20:49:00: Man: If you want to come, you're welcome of course. Just be aware that I'm pushing my DM training much harder and intensely now

Yesterday20:49:14: Man: I'm doing a new level starting in February

Yesterday21:17:49: Man: ?

Yesterday21:23:24: Woman: Well let's see about that! So u almost ready for new level?

Yesterday21:23:34: Woman: ?

Yesterday21:58:43: Woman: Sigh, I think I was imagining a guy that could comfort me give me the safety I need and then help me out of desperateness. Who can't wait to see me.

Yesterday21:58:51: Woman: I don't know

Yesterday21:59:12: Woman: Maybe that's not you, it's someone I imagined?

Yesterday22:06:15: Man: Maybe

Yesterday22:06:39: Man: Or maybe its me telling you that I'm doing a program

Yesterday22:07:01: Man: And my time would be limited

Yesterday22:09:20: Man: I'm really tired. I was up late chatting with you lastnight, then up early and today was exhausting

Yesterday22:09:37: Man: So I'm going to sleep. Can barely keep my eyes open

Yesterday22:09:52: Man: Goodnight

Yesterday22:10:02: Man: Sweet dreams

Yesterday22:10:18: Woman: I m not good

Yesterday22:10:21: Woman: But

Yesterday22:10:26: Woman: Go sleep

Yesterday22:11:06: Man: You're not in danger and your parents are at home

Yesterday22:11:24: Man: So you don't need protection and safety

Yesterday22:11:26: Woman: Right that's exactly why I m out in a bar

Yesterday22:11:44: Man: Well that's your choice

Yesterday22:11:45: Woman: Bcos I can't be sad at home

Yesterday22:12:09: Man: It's your home

Yesterday22:12:28: Woman: Not that I don't wanna be thoughtful for you

Yesterday22:12:53: Woman: But I killed my baby I had for more than 6 months

Yesterday22:13:04: Woman: I did everything for it

Yesterday22:13:08: Man: Huh?

Yesterday22:13:14: Woman: I killed it myself today

Yesterday22:13:36: Woman: Bcos they want me to surrender

Yesterday22:13:45: Woman: It's not easy

Yesterday22:13:56: Man: What are you talking about?

Yesterday22:16:10: Woman: And a guy who likes me who claim that he likes me will not say " you are out in a bar, it's your choice" " oh you wanna come and see me ?( bcos I wanna spent this time I m finally free and also seek for a peace of mind from someone that I can rely on who I needed when I m weak) you are welcome but I don't have much time for you"

Yesterday22:26:54: Man: I understand you're upset with losing out on your trip, but the world doesn't revolve around you. Ya you're at a bar and it is your choice. No one is forcing you to be there. There isn't a gun to your head that says you must be in a bar. Yes, I'm busy, doing a program that I've paid a lot of money to do. So, no, I don't have a ton of free time.

Yesterday22:27:01: Man: You may be generous with your time and money when it comes to the project and kids, but you're fairly shallow and selfish when it comes to me

Yesterday22:27:07: Man: As they appear to be better people than I could ever be

Yesterday22:27:09: Man: I think you need to find your guy friends you keep comparing me to, and get them to comfort you

Yesterday22:27:20: Man: I'm sleeping now. Night.

Yesterday22:31:18: Woman: I think it'll be childish for me to demand u to skip ur course etc for a weekend with me, (actually, really? I think it's legitimate to ask), if I only have one 2days weekend and I wanna spend with you, with all this travel etc, I think it's pretty significant. As thoughtful I am, I wasn't going to demand you, I was just hoping you would say, ok I can't cancel my course, but I can try to finish early and spend time with you.

Today14:20:10: Woman: It doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't change the fact that you no longer has feeling for me. If we had this fight in person and we have to sleep together later. It might be glued back.

Today14:21:34: Woman: Just quite a misfortune when we finally had some smooth time together at the end when we were together. Now it turned back to things like this.

Today19:26:20: Man: My feelings are still there. It's your expectations that are too high for me to reach

Today19:26:31: Man: I still like you a lot

Today19:27:21: Man: But I can't live up to your expectations while doing my stuff

Today19:27:34: Man: A weekend is different than two weeks

Today19:28:00: Man: And you know I've signed up for an internship with a schedule

Today19:28:19: Man: And my oversea trip is a set date as well

Today19:28:29: Man: Can't change that

Today19:40:46: Woman: Remember what did I do when you want a week of my time while I obviously do not have much free time? I moved with you, to maximize the time you can spend with me. I wanted sleep but Everytime I went along with you, tried to make you happy.

Today19:45:40: Woman: I wanted to come to see you, let it be 2 days or 2 weeks. Thinking that I'll be protected and loved. I will no longer come to bother you, you paid so much for the course and you are so tired diving everyday already. Your limited time, I should let you sleep, eat well. Not to ask you to hug me tight so i'll feel better.

Today19:50:54: Woman: Good luck, pick the cheapest way to Country S, have fun with your friends. There are so much pain in my heart, so much suffer that I do not deserve, to the point I only want to sleep get drunk sleep, I slept for a whole day, cos every other moment awake feels pain. It's ok, you will not understand. So it's not helping even if I talk to you right? I wonder why you are the first person I called when I got back to the country. I wonder why I wanted to see you after canceling the trip?

Today19:53:05: Woman: Right, I am selfish and shallow to you. I was still arranging you a job in B City and running around when I was oversea looking for Reese candy.

Today19:55:01: Woman: I don't mind a more expensive round trip ticket to T city just that I get more time out of two days with you. You told me you need to choose a cheaper way to Country S.

Today19:55:56: Woman: Do what's best for you. I thank you for your help.

Today20:10:56: Woman: Oh did I mention jan 22-23 is an important day in my culture, I wanted you to come to B City also for that? It's ok I knew you won't understand it. Really? Is it that significant? Maybe not. So cheaper way to Country S worth probably more.

Today20:35:35: Man: I don't have a job, and you know that I blew a months budget in the first week I was in B City.

Today20:36:17: Man: I have no way to make that back, except to reduce spending money

Today20:36:38: Man: I didn't know you ran around in your oversea trip looking for candy

Today20:37:54: Man: I don't get why you need to get drunk

Today20:38:03: Man: You choose that

Today20:43:18: Woman: Ironically, now. What I remembered was the nice time we had together.

Today20:43:58: Woman: You are probably a guy that I've seen with the lowest possible EQ ever.

Today20:44:18: Woman: I happen to be a delicate woman.

Today20:45:34: Man: Give me a break. You're an adult woman, not a child

Today20:45:50: Man: Do you really need to be babied

Today20:46:52: Woman: You will surely have your break.

Today20:47:11: Woman: I'll try to think of you

Today20:47:47: Woman: Try to memorize you as a guy that really liked me

Today20:50:15: Man: Its not past tense

Today20:51:19: Man: I already told you, you're welcome to come to T city.

Today20:53:51: Man: Okay, guess you're gone. Well take care. Xoxo.

Two day weekend? Thursday night you were wanting to runaway down here for two weeks

One hour in between without talking

Woman says (9:18 PM):

everything tortures me

Man says (9:18 PM):

how so?

Woman says (9:19 PM):

everyone

i should be leaving on the airplane

now

Man says (9:20 PM):

well what did the boss say to you the reason was?

Man says (9:21 PM):

Did the person sign that letter to help you to prove?

Woman says (9:21 PM):

its dirty politics

he signed

Man says (9:21 PM):

so what's the reason

Woman says (9:21 PM):

i am too weak to stand on my own

Woman says (9:22 PM):

but i don't have anyone i can rely on

i thought you were

Man says (9:22 PM):

you're not weak

Woman says (9:23 PM):

now i have to deal with a break up on top of all that other suffer

Man says (9:23 PM):

huh?

Woman says (9:23 PM):

i already collapsed

i wanted to struggle to stand up and face a new day

i couldn't

Man says (9:23 PM):

what break up

Woman says (9:25 PM):

everything tears me apart

piece by piece

my parents really care about me.

they can't help at all

they can't protect me

Man says (9:25 PM):

protect you from what?

Woman says (9:26 PM):

they can't protect themselves from this dirty world

Man says (9:26 PM):

is someone trying to kill you?

Woman says (9:28 PM):

we really aren't from the same planet are we

Woman says (9:29 PM):

why is it so hard for you to emotionally sympathize with other people

even me?

supposedly someone you like

it's such a joke.

Man says (9:30 PM):

it's hard because you're so vague and using so many metaphors

nothing is straight from you

what protection do you require? from this dirty world?

well what makes it dirty?

Woman says (9:31 PM):

it's amazing how you virtually incapable to understand metaphors

Woman says (9:32 PM):

all i need,

is emotional support

encouraging words

a wild open arm

someone who is ready to pick me up when i am so down

Woman says (9:33 PM):

i don't understand why my other friends can, male or female.

Woman says (9:34 PM):

they understand it's meaningful if i run away a town looking for their favorite candy

they understand it's significant if they are the first person i call after a long trip

Man says (9:34 PM):

ya I got the significance

Woman says (9:34 PM):

they understand there is something wrong if i call them at 2am,

Man says (9:34 PM):

but 1. I didn't know I was the first person you called

Man says (9:35 PM):

2. you never told me you went searching for candy

Woman says (9:35 PM):

even if they missed the call, they'll call back the 1st thing in the next morning.

Man says (9:35 PM):

so how in the hell was I supposed to know that

read your mind?

I'm not a fortune teller

Woman says (9:35 PM):

yes, you asked me to get comfort from others.

Man says (9:35 PM):

no I told you to

Man says (9:36 PM):

cause you kept comparing me to everyone else

I refuse to be compared to someone else

Man says (9:37 PM):

if I can't provide what you require, then find someone who will

Woman says (9:37 PM):

there are many people in this world, many are nice to me. i wanted to make you the one that i feel the most special.

Woman says (9:38 PM):

i realize i can't.

it's painful

again

on top of all other things

to realize i have to cut all these extra emotional connection with you

Woman says (9:39 PM):

all these special connection i artificially imagine i have with you

Man says (9:40 PM):

what connection?

as I recall, I had more of an emotional connection to you, than you did to me

Man says (9:42 PM):

and I'm not even clear about what breakup you're talking about

if you're talking about you and I, I didn't even know we were in a relationship

Woman says (9:43 PM):

we are not.

but i thought we are thinking of one

so if i was thinking about a possibility, i tried my BEST to create opportunities to make it happen

Woman says (9:44 PM):

so, now.

Man says (9:44 PM):

what? you kind of made it clear that you're not thinking about a relationship

Woman says (9:44 PM):

why not now

if the world is hurting me.

why not let you add up to the pain?

bring this 2012 all together

Woman says (9:45 PM):

if i didn't end up suicide

Man says (9:45 PM):

the world isn't hurting you

stop making a mountain out of a mole hill

Woman says (9:45 PM):

what ever what ever

Woman says (9:46 PM):

this is already enough damage

Man says (9:46 PM):

well why not be honest??

Woman says (9:46 PM):

to whatever we could have

and whatever we had

if there were suppose to be a future.

Woman says (9:47 PM):

there is no longer one, between you and me.

Man says (9:47 PM):

fine

Woman says (9:47 PM):

if you never thought about it

too bad, i thought too much

my bad

i should not have done that.

Man says (9:48 PM):

well for your next potential relationship, I suggest to you that you give clear messages

cause when you say you don't want to think about a relationship

I take that to mean you don't want to think about a relationship

not the opposite

Woman says (9:49 PM):

i wanted to laugh,

Man says (9:49 PM):

When you say you're having fun in manila and changing hotels for a different conference, to took that to mean you're having fun and changing hotels for a conference

Woman says (9:49 PM):

but i don't know should i laugh at you or myself

Man says (9:50 PM):

not that you were runnign around looking for candy

when you say "hey I wanna run away and stay with you for 2 weeks" I took that as you wanted to come stay with me for two weeks

not, a weekend

I mean, I don't know where I'm going wrong here

Man says (9:51 PM):

needing protection? perhaps be a little more clear, since you mean emotional support

Man says (9:52 PM):

and I still don't get how the world is a dirty place

Woman says (9:52 PM):

you could have asked for details, "oh, are you thinking of coming for two weeks, cos i currently need to go for an oversea trip, but if you want to go with me, that's totally fine"

Man says (9:52 PM):

your trip was canceled

Woman says (9:53 PM):

your emotionless response has poured a bucket of iced water from top to my toe

just like the night,

when i wanted to talk about some sentimental stuff

you cutted me off

Man says (9:53 PM):

what?

Man says (9:54 PM):

which night was that?

Woman says (9:54 PM):

then you were yelling " what? why don't you say anything now?"

" you were not happy because i didn't listen to you. now i ask you to say it, you do not say a word"

Man says (9:54 PM):

what are you talking about?

Woman says (9:55 PM):

i wanted to talk about my childhood

Man says (9:55 PM):

when?

Woman says (9:55 PM):

in no condition you provided me a mood to continue my talk

Woman says (9:56 PM):

your cold response has put off my willingness of opening up

instantly

hehe. YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER

a continous TWO nights that i almost cried my heart out

Woman says (9:57 PM):

i can't even say a sentence properly

bcos my heart hurts so bad

the desparate night that i asked you " can i please go home" you told me " do whatever you want"

Man says (9:59 PM):

omg, you're talking about back in B city

geez

how was I supposed to piece that together

ya I don't get what's wrong with saying to do whatever you want

you're an adult

can you go home? ya, you're an adult, you can do what you want

Man says (10:00 PM):

really, do I need to treat you like a 4 year old?

if I do, then let me know and I will

Woman says (10:01 PM):

from day 1

i told you, i am normally a strong and tough person

i protect others

i stand up for others

Woman says (10:02 PM):

i hope the guy i like, the guy i can rely on, can then protect me and make me feel secure

time to time

when i need to take off my "tough woman" outfit

i just want to be a little girl

laugh with him

Woman says (10:03 PM):

or go back home cry to him how i was bullied outside

Man says (10:03 PM):

you still haven't told me how you were bullied

guess I have to read your mind on that one too

Woman says (10:04 PM):

he would calm me down, make me feel secure and then ask about detail, tell me how to deal with big bullies outside

Man says (10:07 PM):

well now we're getting somewhere, bullies is pluralized, so now I know there was more than one, and they were big apparently

Woman says (10:08 PM):

let me just publicize our conversation today.

edit all personal details

Woman says (10:10 PM):

let the rest of the world to judge who is understanding,

who is not.

Man says (10:11 PM):

I don't need to be judged

Man says (10:13 PM):

but go ahead

Woman says (10:13 PM):

the point is not to judge you.

Woman says (10:14 PM):

i perhaps just wanna know, whether i expected too much.

from a guy

Man says (10:14 PM):

go ahead and publicize it and see what people say

it will be obviously bias, as "the world" you speak of will be "your friends"

Man says (10:15 PM):

so they'll be bias towards you, and probably won't tell you that you're being a bit nutty

Woman says (10:16 PM):

oh, by all means

after i edit this file,

get rid of personal content

pls publize on your facebook

tag your guy friends

i am more than happy to see how they says.

Ok, if i turned out to be too demanding, i'll change.

Man says (10:18 PM):

no, that's going to happen

I'm not going to spam my friends with garbage

but you can to your friends if you must

Man says (10:19 PM):

I don't need consensus

Woman says (10:23 PM):

bye, after i completely lost faith in our future. i missed terribly your smile, the moment that i jump on you, you hold me up, the moment i cries so hard and you drag me back into your arm.

i hope, i'll find a guy who also give me all that.

Woman says (10:24 PM):

oh, i also liked a lot, when you wrote me one email

Woman says (10:25 PM):

just to let me know what happened in your life on that day.

Man says (10:26 PM):

well I wish you luck in finding that guy

Man says (10:27 PM):

also try to keep mole hills, as mole hills, not mountains

the world isn't out to get you

Man says (10:28 PM):

your trip was canceled. That's it. That's what happened.

You'll survive without a trip to Africa

Man says (10:29 PM):

it's not the end of the world

Man says (10:30 PM):

and since we weren't in a relationship, and it was only a faint possibility, I don't see why you'd be upset if I wasn't there to protect you, comfort you, or whatever else you needed

Woman says (10:31 PM):

i thought there is no need to bring this up again.

Woman says (10:32 PM):

but, when we said bye after watching movie together

i thought it ended in a way, that we both look into a positive light.

we were talking about me taking the 4 days to come over,

maybe you can pick me at the station

Woman says (10:33 PM):

once in a while

back then

you were so looking forward for me to do that

you showed me the apartment.

Man says (10:33 PM):

ya? I haven't thought in a negative light

I told you you're welcome to come

Woman says (10:33 PM):

so lovely so that i can be happy when i go stay with you.

Woman says (10:34 PM):

i thought that was thoughtful and sweet of you.

Man says (10:34 PM):

I didn't rent this place to make you happy

being with me anywhere, should have done that

Man says (10:36 PM):

you've barely been in the country since I left B city

Man says (10:37 PM):

so a 4 day weekend hasn't even been a choice

Woman says (10:44 PM):

you just would not let our conversation end nice, would you? no matter what i try?

Please leave us your analysis. Appreciated a lot.

We want to know

1. Your gender, age, relationship status

2. Your analysis of these two persons’ personality. If you can directly link your analysis with quoting their words, it would be better

3. Is the woman too demanding or the man is not sensitive enough?

4. Do you advice these two people to work out problems and try to date each other or they better off find other people?

5. Any other general comment that is helpful in find out how people should deal with gender caused issue in relationship?

[manarak]

ok, I'll bite

1. Your gender, age, relationship status

Male, 38, married, 2 kids

My personality: extremely unsensitive

2. Your analysis of these two persons' personality. If you can directly link your analysis with quoting their words, it would be better

Woman: very emotional, very self-centered, she doesn't make much sense at all in what she writes at the beginning. She seems to be under the influence of an emotional shock.

Man: normal - can't say much about him, I wonder what this DM training is and why it is so important, but I understand he's jobless and the training might be his way into a job.

3. Is the woman too demanding or the man is not sensitive enough?

Difficult to say.

I guess the woman failed the communication because it was a chat and not a phone conversation or a face to face conversation.

I think it would have taken a different turn if she had been able to cozy herself in the man's arms and show her tears (or on the phone he could have heard her sobbing and asked what was wrong).

In a computer chat, the man had no chance to see her body language, and what she wrote made no sense, even she fed him false or irrelevant information.

The man's requests for information were met with replies that implied he did something wrong.

4. Do you advice these two people to work out problems and try to date each other or they better off find other people?

I don't know. The relationship might work if they are physically together and if they know each other better.

If I was the man - and judging from his answers in the chat, I could be that man - I wouldn't want a relationship with a person who is unable to express herself in an understandable way if put a little bit under stress and begins to hysterically lash out at everybody.

And... that's not a person who should manage a big project either.

About finding other people: if such behavior is normal for the woman, then yes, they both better find other people. I know one woman who has a similar character, an over-the-top emotional manipulator, and I feel bad when I am anywhere near her.

5. Any other general comment that is helpful in find out how people should deal with gender caused issue in relationship?

I can't see that this is gender caused.

The woman was under shock and her cognitive functions were obviously too impaired to properly communicate over a written media in her state of shock/hysteria.

I would say the failure in communication is due to the choice of means of communication: computer chat.

If they had communicated face to face, the man would have noticed her distress and probably reacted differently.

On the other hand, when I look at the chat timestamps, I wonder how much time she needs to come to her senses?

Edited January 15, 2012 by manarak

[ikis]

hahahahh, did't read all of it, i rather read books, but that lady is a nutcase and that guy seems normal.

male

30ish

single.

cheers!

Edited January 15, 2012 by ikis

[angelparadise]

ok, I'll bite

1. Your gender, age, relationship status

Male, 38, married, 2 kids

My personality: extremely unsensitive

2. Your analysis of these two persons' personality. If you can directly link your analysis with quoting their words, it would be better

Woman: very emotional, very self-centered, she doesn't make much sense at all in what she writes at the beginning. She seems to be under the influence of an emotional shock.

Man: normal - can't say much about him, I wonder what this DM training is and why it is so important, but I understand he's jobless and the training might be his way into a job.

3. Is the woman too demanding or the man is not sensitive enough?

Difficult to say.

I guess the woman failed the communication because it was a chat and not a phone conversation or a face to face conversation.

I think it would have taken a different turn if she had been able to cozy herself in the man's arms and show her tears (or on the phone he could have heard her sobbing and asked what was wrong).

In a computer chat, the man had no chance to see her body language, and what she wrote made no sense, even she fed him false or irrelevant information.

The man's requests for information were met with replies that implied he did something wrong.

4. Do you advice these two people to work out problems and try to date each other or they better off find other people?

I don't know. The relationship might work if they are physically together and if they know each other better.

If I was the man - and judging from his answers in the chat, I could be that man - I wouldn't want a relationship with a person who is unable to express herself in an understandable way if put a little bit under stress and begins to hysterically lash out at everybody.

And... that's not a person who should manage a big project either.

About finding other people: if such behavior is normal for the woman, then yes, they both better find other people. I know one woman who has a similar character, an over-the-top emotional manipulator, and I feel bad when I am anywhere near her.

5. Any other general comment that is helpful in find out how people should deal with gender caused issue in relationship?

I can't see that this is gender caused.

The woman was under shock and her cognitive functions were obviously too impaired to properly communicate over a written media in her state of shock/hysteria.

I would say the failure in communication is due to the choice of means of communication: computer chat.

If they had communicated face to face, the man would have noticed her distress and probably reacted differently.

On the other hand, when I look at the chat timestamps, I wonder how much time she needs to come to her senses?

thanks a lot. i had a better idea in setting my hypothesis in this test research.

[MAJIC]

Only needed to read a third of the conversation.

The woman is much too complicated for the Man,and she seems to be a tad crazy.

Sorry I couldnt vote,the choices are very biased.

[ludditeman]

I'm not sure ThaiVisa forums are the right place to be asking this sort of question.

Most of us deviate wildly from the western ideals of 'normal', that applies to both the men and the women who live out here.

[naboo]

Read about 70% of it, too long!

1. Male, 31, in a relationaship

2. She's an attention seeking nutter. He's had enough of her being nuts.

3. I guess he could be more sensitive, but she's being unreasonable.

4. Better of with someone else, both of them

5. Not live so far away, not seeing each other for long periods of time.

Edit: I didn't vote in the poll, I don't agree with any of the options.

Edited January 15, 2012 by naboo

[manarak]

thanks a lot. i had a better idea in setting my hypothesis in this test research.

what do you mean?

can you explain?

[talk2sam]

Single..30ish..male

Honest Opinion...She is thai and He is a westerner...He should learn the ways of thai women and get use to her, or look for his like...I have seen these in the thai girls I have dated..

[aussiebebe]

1. Your gender, age, relationship status

Male, 38, married

2. Your analysis of these two persons’ personality. If you can directly link your analysis with quoting their words, it would be better

The man has a warm, caring, sensitive personality, he cares about the woman

Man says (9:30 PM):

it's hard because you're so vague and using so many metaphors

nothing is straight from you

The woman seems highly emotionally strung, extremely unbalanced (unless she is drunk, I don't know), I would refer her to a shrink.

She is threatening, insulting, emotionally blackmailing:

Woman says (9:45 PM):

if i didn't end up suicide

Maybe she got drunk in the bar after having an abortion?

Yesterday22:12:53: Woman: But I killed my baby I had for more than 6 months

unless that is one of her metaphors for the relationship.

3. Is the woman too demanding or the man is not sensitive enough?The woman is extremely unhinged. The man's responses are calm, measured and caring but the woman is evasive, illogical and doesn't explain anything even when pressed:

Man says (9:52 PM):

and I still don't get how the world is a dirty place

Woman says (9:52 PM):

you could have asked for details, "oh, are you thinking of coming for two weeks, cos i currently need to go for an oversea trip, but if you want to go with me, that's totally fine"

The conversation breaks down because the woman is evasive and explains nothing; when questioned she just changes the subject.

4. Do you advice these two people to work out problems and try to date each other or they better off find other people?

I would advise the woman to see a shrink, were I in the man's position I'd offer to pay.

5. Any other general comment that is helpful in find out how people should deal with gender caused issue in relationship?

This has nothing to do with gender, the woman is illogical and probably drunk just as some men may be.

I didn't vote as the options are ridiculous.

[bina]

just scrolled thru most of it cause frankly it was boring to read it all;

im female, almost 50 and married to a thai.

the woman is obviously not a native english speaker; the man i gues is studiing dive master? in thailand...? she's babyish and playing the girly girly type stuff i notice many thai women play at...

she has expectations from him but didnt express them, she expected that he would 'r ead her mind'... she 'did stuff for him' and there fore expected him to do the same (a kind of manipulativenss-- see how much i did for u even though i didnt wantto but u dont do anything for me); he seems like a regular joe shmo type (trying to figure out what it is she is saying , he cant really stop and take time out just for her, he tries to explain that to her, maybe he is a bit put off by her ranting, he could, conceivably , give in a bit, make an effort... doesnt seem like he is as committed as she seems to think she is.

personally i dont have time or patience to deal with women who are like this; get a grip, if i was the guy, i would be running in the other direction from her, fast. she doesnt love him, she just wants someone, anyone, to 'support' her....

and i dont believe for one minute that this is a social survey either.

bina

israel

[CWMcMurray]

I agree with the others on this one... If I was the guy, I would be running in the opposite direction.

Male

36

Married to a Thai

2 kids

I have not seen anyone mention it, but it appears that they are not even in a relationship to begin with, so not even a break up.

In fact it seems that it was the woman who was not interested in pursuing a relationship earlier.

Given that they are "just friends", the women is really over the top

If they were in a serious long term long distance relationship, then she may have a bit of a case, but even then....

Also Not sure why she was so evasive and seemed unwilling to Answer any of his questions?

[sirchai]

Guess the woman is a Thai teacher, living in Buri Ram. The guy must be stupid that he dates such a weird woman. Could be from Ohio.

I'm from Europe, older than my Thai wife and I like to eat fish

Male, married to a (nice) Thai, one son..

Edited March 20, 2012 by sirchai