Serious Question About Relationship With Thai Gf, Serious Replies Please.

[David006]

... and Shane, no, we don't think that you are an idiot ... we just want to share our collective experiences with you so that same mistakes that have been made ad infinitun are not made by you.

David 48

Nobody thinks you are an idiot, we just think you are unused to hot sex with younger Thai girls, as we all were when we came here.

They all fooled us the first couple of times, but we learnt from out mistakes. We learnt from their lies, of which we heard plenty.

Have fun with her, while spending as little as possible.

You will need to adjust your views on sharing though, else life will become hell.

Agree. Problem is most arrive here and think they have gone to heaven and don't want to believe different, and the ladies know it.

lol..ain't that the truth..IT IS heaven! If one just assumes they are all bad and enjoy it until the money is all gone and it falls off..

OP is is really pushing his luck expecting any advice worth following..you pays your money and takes your choice.

...what is the next question....should I buy this used car , what do you all think of the color. will it break down ......come on! ?

[BookMan]

I don't discount a woman if she has dated foreign men before. I mean she is willing to date me and I'm foreign and white.

Also it was a bit of a piss take, my comment about Surin.

.

[tolstoy]

This is part of the Thai culture. If you live in Chiang Mai you never see people showing affection in public, it just isn't done

This is what I have an exception with. The absolute statements.

I have lived in Chiang Mai for more than 10 years and I have seen PDA. It is done in public and not just by the young, it is not just low the class. I have seen people from all walks of life show public displays. I will admit that when I first arrived I never saw such things. My wife and I (9 years of marriage) still don't hold hands when we are near our work places or in front of our parents but we will if walking in a crowd. But it is more about not getting separated than it is about affection.

It may not be common but it is still there. I would wager that I see at least one (thai- thai) couple in their 20-30's hold hands or give a slight embrace at least 1 a week in different places from restaurants (hotel buffets) shopping malls and sometimes just at 7-11.

[ShanePashen]

Randy

thanks for your thoughts' FWIW I feel I haven't lost my head or put myself in a perilous financial position. My Assets in Australia are protected, and all I feel I am doing is cultivating a relationship. Investing some time and yes some money Having a great time along the way. Where it will lead I don't honestly know. I do freely admit to being emotional and irrational at first. Impetuous for sure. My plans are to spend some more time with her. I also would like for he her to come and spend 3 mths in my country and see if we feel there is still the same connection. If she can assimilate into my society I am uncertain. It will not be without its challenges I know that. I don't see her as a gold digger, but am prudent enough to know that will take more time to establish. If this story will have a happily ever after who knows. I am happy and taking it day by day, as she is at the moment, she will have a job letter in may/june,we will try for another visa then.

[ShanePashen]

@david

Yes Surin beach... I am now thinking Patong she be renamed Perestroika in honour of the new middle class of Russians, who have made there destination here. It is riddled with them.

Not all bad some of the ladies Very easy on the eye.

Don,t try and share a joke or conversation with them though!

All going well enjoying time with her, learning the culture. Hasn't been all easy though, the thai sulk I have learned. Lol

And the silent treatment sometimes, seems universal in women DNA.

New words.

promiscuous

Loyalty

Incorrigible

Tranny .. what we call Kathoey

Date..and not the type that live in palm trees.

Thongs..not what labyboys where.

To name a few.

[BlueEasySleep]

She has asked me to chip in 4000 to 5000 bath per calendar Mth for her parents

Run away

[w11guy]

If you don't trust her then give up now. Seems pointless to date a Thai woman if you don't trust them. Stickman talks about prostitutes and not normal Thai women. It should be obvious if she's seeing someone else or not. Stop reading horror stories and treat her like a girl from your own country.

[David48]

Hi there Shane ... how is the trip going?

Any talk about the future?

any plans?

any fights?

New words she has learnt?

New words YOU have learnt?

ANY words you have learnt actually ...

Try and get her to eat some Farang food as a whole meal, as in no other Thai food for that meal.

The reason for this is that she won’t be able to eat Thai EVERY meal in Australia.

OH ... fish fingers at KFC doesn't count!

The first Thai girl I bought to Australia (thinking she was the one) only ate fish and chicken (didn't pick this up in Thailand ) and refused to eat a sandwich ... not very helpful when living here ... but OK in Thailand.

Shane when contemplating a relationship ... sometimes the little things count!

Did the 1st Thai girl and I split because she wouldn't eat a sandwich ... no, of course not, but the cumulative weight of all the reasons why it wouldn't work with her outweighed the benefits of being with her.

I changed model (less sporty type, few previous owners and mostly only ridden to the Temple on Sundays!) and now very happy with my new drive

Keep posting.

.

[necronx99]

Hi there Shane ... how is the trip going?

Any talk about the future?

any plans?

any fights?

New words she has learnt?

New words YOU have learnt?

ANY words you have learnt actually ...

Try and get her to eat some Farang food as a whole meal, as in no other Thai food for that meal.

The reason for this is that she won’t be able to eat Thai EVERY meal in Australia.

OH ... fish fingers at KFC doesn't count!

The first Thai girl I bought to Australia (thinking she was the one) only ate fish and chicken (didn't pick this up in Thailand ) and refused to eat a sandwich ... not very helpful when living here ... but OK in Thailand.

Shane when contemplating a relationship ... sometimes the little things count!

Did the 1st Thai girl and I split because she wouldn't eat a sandwich ... no, of course not, but the cumulative weight of all the reasons why it wouldn't work with her outweighed the benefits of being with her.

I changed model (less sporty type, few previous owners and mostly only ridden to the Temple on Sundays!) and now very happy with my new drive

Keep posting.

.

The food bias Thais have can be a challenge.

It's shattering when you make a roast and spend half an hour making a sauce or gravy only to have them drown it in chilli sauce.

(despite you making a hot sauce)

Mine kept telling me I was wasting my time and money cooking big family sized pots of Spag boll as no one in the house would eat it including her because they are Thai and only eat thai food. She kept up this mantra each weekend insisting that it was a waste of time despite the family lining up for seconds and cleaning the pot out each time.

About the 4th go at it she finally caved in and tried (and loved it).

[ObsessiveAddict]

Theres differences between western and thai culture??! I never would have guessed.

yes, if you read and read about thai girls online there seems to be a lot of generalization.

Just remember that everybody is different. Your the one that knows her. Not us.

"Thai girls" isen't the name of one person.

[transam]

Hi there Shane ... how is the trip going?

Any talk about the future?

any plans?

any fights?

New words she has learnt?

New words YOU have learnt?

ANY words you have learnt actually ...

Try and get her to eat some Farang food as a whole meal, as in no other Thai food for that meal.

The reason for this is that she won’t be able to eat Thai EVERY meal in Australia.

OH ... fish fingers at KFC doesn't count!

The first Thai girl I bought to Australia (thinking she was the one) only ate fish and chicken (didn't pick this up in Thailand ) and refused to eat a sandwich ... not very helpful when living here ... but OK in Thailand.

Shane when contemplating a relationship ... sometimes the little things count!

Did the 1st Thai girl and I split because she wouldn't eat a sandwich ... no, of course not, but the cumulative weight of all the reasons why it wouldn't work with her outweighed the benefits of being with her.

I changed model (less sporty type, few previous owners and mostly only ridden to the Temple on Sundays!) and now very happy with my new drive

Keep posting.

.

The food bias Thais have can be a challenge.

It's shattering when you make a roast and spend half an hour making a sauce or gravy only to have them drown it in chilli sauce.

(despite you making a hot sauce)

Mine kept telling me I was wasting my time and money cooking big family sized pots of Spag boll as no one in the house would eat it including her because they are Thai and only eat thai food. She kept up this mantra each weekend insisting that it was a waste of time despite the family lining up for seconds and cleaning the pot out each time.

About the 4th go at it she finally caved in and tried (and loved it).

My mrs says I am wrong about everything until the shit hits the fan and l smile.

[GarryP]

Hi there Shane ... how is the trip going?

Any talk about the future?

any plans?

any fights?

New words she has learnt?

New words YOU have learnt?

ANY words you have learnt actually ...

Try and get her to eat some Farang food as a whole meal, as in no other Thai food for that meal.

The reason for this is that she won’t be able to eat Thai EVERY meal in Australia.

OH ... fish fingers at KFC doesn't count!

The first Thai girl I bought to Australia (thinking she was the one) only ate fish and chicken (didn't pick this up in Thailand ) and refused to eat a sandwich ... not very helpful when living here ... but OK in Thailand.

Shane when contemplating a relationship ... sometimes the little things count!

Did the 1st Thai girl and I split because she wouldn't eat a sandwich ... no, of course not, but the cumulative weight of all the reasons why it wouldn't work with her outweighed the benefits of being with her.

I changed model (less sporty type, few previous owners and mostly only ridden to the Temple on Sundays!) and now very happy with my new drive

Keep posting.

.

The food bias Thais have can be a challenge.

It's shattering when you make a roast and spend half an hour making a sauce or gravy only to have them drown it in chilli sauce.

(despite you making a hot sauce)

Mine kept telling me I was wasting my time and money cooking big family sized pots of Spag boll as no one in the house would eat it including her because they are Thai and only eat thai food. She kept up this mantra each weekend insisting that it was a waste of time despite the family lining up for seconds and cleaning the pot out each time.

About the 4th go at it she finally caved in and tried (and loved it).

My mrs says I am wrong about everything until the shit hits the fan and l smile.

My Mrs says I am wrong about everything until the shit hits the fan, and then she blames me anyway because she is NEVER wrong (all my advanced warnings conveniently being forgotten in the process). At which point I turn around and start chatting to the dog, which drives her up the wall - my wife not the dog.

[David48]

Wel young Shane, by calculations, you'd be finished your Thailand holiday.

So, how about a trip report?

[ShanePashen]

Hi All

I just got back just in time to watch the labour (left wing) state Govt, absolutely destroyed here in QLD, by an absolute landslide. I digress.

On balance, I am very happy with her, and the way our relationship is progressing, I feel very strongly for her, and believes she feels the same about me.

I don't have a crystal ball, so how it all pans out, time will tell.

It has not been all plain sailing however, there are huge cultural differences between us.

Does love conquer all, I really don't know, but am optimistic enough, and I'm also enough of a realist to know without compromise, no marriage or long term relationship will last.

I also wonder about her in a western environment in suburbia.

Two things

as David48 said in a post.

1: FOOD: I cannot believe how obsessed they are with Thai and Isaan food. It truly is quite unbelievable.

She has 4 chillis in her papaya salad and will only get it from one old lady off the side of the road.

It has fermented fish slop in it ,and some little preserved crab, and is so hot you cannot believe it.

She hates by and large farrang food, I see this as a real worry. she is so food fussy.

I mean I love hot Thai food, I never looked at a farrang food the whole time we were there, I can eat all the same foods as her and love it. I love Larb, and many Isaan foods.

cannot eat tripe however, she does, or chicken tendons fried.

I love tongue, and many many thai foods. liver, some entrails, chicken livers I adore.

I eat any seafood, to paraphrase Will Rogers "I never met a seafood I didn't like". I ate Moo Bok and stick rice for breakfast, yummy... but unhealthy all that fat.

She hated the buffet at our hotel with its bread, and western food. Bacon eggs cereal et al

The trouble is, you simply cannot get this food here in Australia.

That concerns me deeply.

2: THE THAI SULK OR SOOK.

Mostly she is a joy to be with, and brimful of happiness, hope, and joie de vie.

However, on occasion, when she doesn't get her own way, I get the sulk or sook as we Aussies call it.

This involves a long face and great periods of silence. At this point there seems no way to fast track the process either. It is not frequent only happened twice, but concerns me that what if this behaviour was more become more frequent.

I also know she is a good girl, not a whore, has not ever done the "rub and tug" , believe it or not, I don't care!

She works 6 days a week, 10-12 hours a day and gets 11000 baht including commission on sales of extra cosmetic services, plus averages 100-300 a day in tips. She works in a very big shopping centre at a chain of beauticians called First spa, which has 20 staff at Jungceylon, Patong. 99% of clients are women or kathoeys. I have met her boss, colleagues, and have seen all this, and her bank statements.

she sends 5000 back to her parents per month, as evidenced in her statement.

The plan is now try for a 3 mth visa in around May/June.

Hopefully get her out here, and see if we can live harmoniously for 3 mths, and then both can reassess our feelings and commitment after that.

[David48]

Hi All

I just got back just ...

Shane, great that you took the time to come back to reply to those who wrote here on this thread.

Work on the food thing though .. it certainly was tough for a girl I bought out here and yours seems a tougher nut to crack.

Just something else to think about when you get your Visa and the your girl arrives.

Buy a phone card as she will spend a lot of time chatting back to home ... a lot of time!

I use this mob, not expensive and no drop-outs or line noise.

www.aussiephonecards.com.au

From memory a 'Sanok' $10 Card gets you about 400 minutes of talk time ... if she rings a landline in Thailand ... about half that if it's a mobile.

Skype, and the like works well also ... but do you want to give her unfetted access to your computer?

I would suggest caution.

Also, most likely she will be bored during the day when you are at work, so maybe the FULL 3 MONTHS ... might not be the best idea first up, just in case she gets a big dose of home sickness ... does happen.

May/June is also our Winter and could be a bit tough for the 1st time on a girl from the tropics.

Again ... just simple advice but I would be thinking more along the lines of 3 weeks for the first visit.

You will know after the first week if she can handle more and if the answer is yes, then maybe change the flight back to a later date to reflect this.

Well done thus far and nice that you listened to the chorus of voices here ... well, a little bit

Edited March 26, 2012 by David48

[BookMan]

1: FOOD: I cannot believe how obsessed they are with Thai and Isaan food. It truly is quite unbelievable.

She has 4 chillis in her papaya salad and will only get it from one old lady off the side of the road.

It has fermented fish slop in it ,and some little preserved crab, and is so hot you cannot believe it.

Only 4 mate? Maybe she doesn't like it too spicy then.

[ShanePashen]

1: FOOD: I cannot believe how obsessed they are with Thai and Isaan food. It truly is quite unbelievable.

She has 4 chillis in her papaya salad and will only get it from one old lady off the side of the road.

It has fermented fish slop in it ,and some little preserved crab, and is so hot you cannot believe it.

Only 4 mate? Maybe she doesn't like it too spicy then.

SHe can eat those red and green scud cillis raw like we eat olives, it is quite unerving watching her munch them down, There is no way that can be good for your insides.

I took a big bite of one as a test and thought I was going to die.

And as for that fermented fish slop,it stinks to high heaven, even makes the papaya salad stink.

It literally smells of rotting fish.

[BookMan]

1: FOOD: I cannot believe how obsessed they are with Thai and Isaan food. It truly is quite unbelievable.

She has 4 chillis in her papaya salad and will only get it from one old lady off the side of the road.

It has fermented fish slop in it ,and some little preserved crab, and is so hot you cannot believe it.

Only 4 mate? Maybe she doesn't like it too spicy then.

SHe can eat those red and green scud cillis raw like we eat olives, it is quite unerving watching her munch them down, There is no way that can be good for your insides.

I took a big bite of one as a test and thought I was going to die.

And as for that fermented fish slop,it stinks to high heaven, even makes the papaya salad stink.

It literally smells of rotting fish.

My GF also loves the stuff. Every day... Spicy Som Tam... It is like an addiction... I have tried more than once to eat it but I just don't like the taste...I thought the little crabs would be edible...but no..Yuck!.

Probably a bit like vegemite is to people who haevn't had it since young.

[ShanePashen]

Cheese, They HATE cheese.

I love all cheeses, Blue, washed rind, aged crumbly cheddar, swiss, Parmaggiano, you name it.

Juat the mention of the word cheese and her face screws up.

Funny isn't it!

[David48]

My GF also loves the stuff. Every day... Spicy Som Tam... It is like an addiction... I have tried more than once to eat it but I just don't like the taste...I thought the little crabs would be edible...but no..Yuck!.

Probably a bit like vegemite is to people who haevn't had it since young.

Mines the same.

We made a deal ... I tried her 'little crabs' and she gave the Vegemite a whirl.

Lot's of coughing, red faces and water drank by both parties.

She's arriving here in Oz in a weeks time and bringing lot's of the tinned crabs and lot's of MAMA's noodles

Oh, good suggestion for Shane.

Mate when I came back through Customs 2 months ago, I intentionally bought a can of those crabs through, just to make sure that they were allowed and didn't contravene the rules ... no problems with them ... just declare them.

So when your girl comes later this year, get her to buy some tins as they are expensive to buy here.

Just remember to tick the food box on the Incoming Passenger Card.

[David48]

Cheese, They HATE cheese.

I love all cheeses, Blue, washed rind, aged crumbly cheddar, swiss, Parmaggiano, you name it.

Juat the mention of the word cheese and her face screws up.

Funny isn't it!

I also love the cheeses, including the stinky kind ... but Thais aren’t big cheese eaters.

Actually they don't consume many Dairy products at all.

But a breakfast that I never thought would appeal.

Layers of white bread with the crusts cut off (you can buy it in TESCOs) with sweetened condensed milk!

If not then that then sticky rice and pork.

[BookMan]

My GF also loves the stuff. Every day... Spicy Som Tam... It is like an addiction... I have tried more than once to eat it but I just don't like the taste...I thought the little crabs would be edible...but no..Yuck!.

Probably a bit like vegemite is to people who haevn't had it since young.

Mines the same.

We made a deal ... I tried her 'little crabs' and she gave the Vegemite a whirl.

Lot's of coughing, red faces and water drank by both parties.

She's arriving here in Oz in a weeks time and bringing lot's of the tinned crabs and lot's of MAMA's noodles

Oh, good suggestion for Shane.

Mate when I came back through Customs 2 months ago, I intentionally bought a can of those crabs through, just to make sure that they were allowed and didn't contravene the rules ... no problems with them ... just declare them.

So when your girl comes later this year, get her to buy some tins as they are expensive to buy here.

Just remember to tick the food box on the Incoming Passenger Card.

Good advice about the crab tins..ill have to get my GF to do the same

[jaideecm]

2: THE THAI SULK OR SOOK.

Mostly she is a joy to be with, and brimful of happiness, hope, and joie de vie.

However, on occasion, when she doesn't get her own way, I get the sulk or sook as we Aussies call it.

This involves a long face and great periods of silence. At this point there seems no way to fast track the process either. It is not frequent only happened twice, but concerns me that what if this behaviour was more become more frequent.

After my wife did this a few times, when we were dating, I sat down and talked to her calmly about it. Rather than have a confrontation the Thais, and most Asians, just avoid talking about it or walk away if an agreement is not easily reached. I asked my wife to talk to me rather than sulk. I told her it troubles me when she does that. I said I need to know her feelings, which Asians hate to talk about, so I can make better decisions when it comes to our relationship. When we don't agree on somethings we sit down, talk it out calmly and come up with a solution.

She needed to know that I will not get angry if she questions my judgment on certain matters and how she feels is important. We now talk about everything together, grown closer to each other, have a lot more fun and no arguments.

We even plan our meals and cook together. If she or I does not like it we don't make it or go out and order it.

The point is talk to each other. You need to tell her she has to tell you her feelings and tell her yours. your likes, dreams, desires, what you don't like, everything both good and bad. This will be difficult for her and maybe for you also but it is a must to grow together. You and her will also find out sooner if you are compatible for each other or not.

Cheers,

Randy

[radiola]

sometimes i think that farang girls are easier to manage than thai

i have new girl now, she wants new bag today, go to island tomorrow, go to movie next day, omg so annoying!!!!!

I think i will stop dating seriously, I dont like this behaviour whatsoever

[punch]

sometimes i think that farang girls are easier to manage than thai

i have new girl now, she wants new bag today, go to island tomorrow, go to movie next day, omg so annoying!!!!!

I think i will stop dating seriously, I dont like this behaviour whatsoever

I dont know what mate. But everything write just cracs me up. I would love to sit in a bar and here your views on the women of the world..

[cattoc]

Shane.. this has been the best read of a forum so far... all you guys cynics and sympathizers. whao what a mixed bunch.. I went through the same thing as you. 12 years ago - except no preconceptions about what my GF then did. I embraced it... broke many of the rules the guys in the posts above have laid out for you. went through the all the jealous, suspicious, obsessed, secretive technicolor phases of Jasmine Fever .12 years on.. I have had the most incredible run. I am truly a lucky man.. I will have to register an anonymous ID to tell my story. I still cant believe the things that have happened. all I can say go for it.. but.just like a Koala these girls are hard to transplant. I went the other way - and came here. Fascinating she bought her mum down to see you .but shame you could not spend a week in her village.. then you see the real thing. and if you stay with her in her Mums house - you are married!.... I just saw your face book mate (you must be the only Shane Pashen in the world.. and with the up-most respect I think your lady is lovely.... Go for it. and with all the grumble bum comments about sex workers - big deal - they are just bush mechanics offering their opinion... I know many who have not been so lucky and got burnt.. the most dangerous thing I would warn you about is NEVER put your face near a monkey like you have on your facebook wall - they <deleted> bite. If you are that obsessed with this lady (in her own environment) - think carefully about the concept of bringing her back to Oz. Mate if you play guitars as well as you collect them.. maybe another career in Thailand! the flower in the vase may not look as good as it does in the ground. I wish you luck mate.

[radiola]

Men look only at beauty, women look how much doe you have. Just a general rule.

I was thinking to write a guide on how to get girls in Thailand easy, not bar girls, but I need to learn how to be patient and stick with one...

Also the location is so so important. You need to pick up in the area that many farangs live. Otherwise you are screwed. You will not get any girls in a remote location that have never spoken with farang. Foget it.

Also they need to know english.

I have shoot few videos about my ex girls, and take pictures of almost all of them, one night stands are not included. If anybody wants to buy a guide like that, please let me know.

[David48]

the flower in the vase may not look as good as it does in the ground.

[cattoc]

Oh... I and I finally figured out how to partly solve the Thai Sulk.. teach her how to swear at you or have an argument in English. most often my lady went into extended sulks - even to the extent of hiding behind the house.. not talking for days.. In my situation it was because of a number of different reasons she had no defence mechanisms for - often overwhelming whelming her and exposing inability to blow steam in English. If I had been on her home turf - language wise I would have got blasted I think, all the usual Mars and Venus stuff between men and women.. just lacked the ability to express her self in English. now she is on top of things... she also has a Glock - that certainly evens things up!

[StreetCowboy]

the flower in the vase may not look as good as it does in the ground.

I know a joke about that - very tenuous link, I know - I'll not bother you with the whole story, but the punch line goes "Don't be daft, you must have a vase somewhere".

SC