samsiam Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 What goes around comes around...same same she most likely felt about you in Thailand. But really....you need to grow a set and get over yourself....or stop taking her for walks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You either deal with it like a man or dont have an Asian gf. Grow some <deleted> for Ch*st sakes!!!!!! The stigma is the OP's wife being Thai, not Asian. Whether we like it or not, Thai and Filipino women have a stigma attached to them that others don't have. Telling the OP to man up is hardly helpful - it is a problem for him and his wife and needs to be addressed on a slightly higher level. Of course it is weird for others to hear one speak pidgin English to one's wife - and that's where the preconceived ideas come in . . . Not an easy situation Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petesear Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You either deal with it like a man or dont have an Asian gf. Grow some <deleted> for Ch*st sakes!!!!!! The stigma is the OP's wife being Thai, not Asian. Whether we like it or not, Thai and Filipino women have a stigma attached to them that others don't have. Telling the OP to man up is hardly helpful - it is a problem for him and his wife and needs to be addressed on a slightly higher level. Of course it is weird for others to hear one speak pidgin English to one's wife - and that's where the preconceived ideas come in . . . Not an easy situation Well don't then.. Speak English or Thai, but certainly not bastardized English Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) To her this translates as me being embarrassed to be seen with her and it hurts her a lot. To me this translates as you're embarrassed to be seen with her and she is understandably hurt. I suggest you put these people right. Tell them where you met her, unless it was in a brothel, explain to these people who have never travelled to such a wild country what Thailand is really like, but above all be proud of your girl before you lose her to someone who would be. Whereas I agree with the second part of that statement the first part is particularly abhorent! If I was out with my wife in Thailand and she had to go over to tables and explain i'm not from Isaan but England has chocolate men I'd wonder why the hell she felt the need to walk around explaining my existence. Celebrate how different she is don't hide her in the attic/cellar. And if you can't then fake it and fake it well until it becomes natural. You didn't choose your work colleagues or random people in restaurants, you chose her ... Keep going down the path you are on and one things for sure, you will lose your wife (oops girlfriend which is even easier for her to move on) but I'm not sure whose choice it will be. Choose her or lose her. And finally get in your work place with your holiday photos, then become an agent and hand out copies of Mail Order Bride Catalogue there and in those places - soon your sideline business will pay for you to relocate to Thailand. edited - thought they were married as read from another post. Edited February 27, 2012 by 2unique Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Also, I thought the UK was supposed to be so progressive and diverse? Where are you from that in 2012, interracial dating is still something people gawk at?! Think it's more to do specifically with attitudes towards Thais in the UK, people thinking she's a prostitute, getting a knowing smiles from dudes who've been to Nana and think you bought her there, or people making jokes about mail order brides or that Ting Tong character from UK TV or ladyboys or whatever I've never gotten that in the US though, most people don't know or care and I've never met another American at home who's even been to Thailand let alone started talking about Nana Plaza to me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DP25 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You either deal with it like a man or dont have an Asian gf. Grow some <deleted> for Ch*st sakes!!!!!! The stigma is the OP's wife being Thai, not Asian. Whether we like it or not, Thai and Filipino women have a stigma attached to them that others don't have. Telling the OP to man up is hardly helpful - it is a problem for him and his wife and needs to be addressed on a slightly higher level. Of course it is weird for others to hear one speak pidgin English to one's wife - and that's where the preconceived ideas come in . . . Not an easy situation Well don't then.. Speak English or Thai, but certainly not bastardized English Learn to speak basic Thai, no one at home would ever know if you sound like a 3 year old or not 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 forgive me for asking but... how old are u and how old is ur GF. and i take it that ur in the UK. Thanks for all the replies so far. They're more or less what I expected and what I know to be correct - that I must just get over it, but it's difficult. Whenever I hear Thai or Thailand in a conversation the inevitable giggles and jokes that follows I die a little inside. your silence is tacit approval and agreement of their actions. I don't let people slag off my wife, friends or family - without getting on a soapbox, it is your place to educate them otherwise she will never be accepted and for sure will feel alone in YOUR world. To be honest you don't even fit in and its possible you're projecting your doubts and fears onto others? Regardless your making two lives hell! Accept friendly banter - never accept disparagement - educate those that are open minded - walk away from those that are ignorant - otherwise I look forward to your topic about how your Thai gf left you for another man and obviosuly used you as a stepping stone to the promised land. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiscalFizz Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I still think my advice about pulling out his junk and waving it around at all the gawkers in a restaurant is the best yet..... maybe thats just me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petesear Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 To her this translates as me being embarrassed to be seen with her and it hurts her a lot. To me this translates as you're embarrassed to be seen with her and she is understandably hurt. I suggest you put these people right. Tell them where you met her, unless it was in a brothel, explain to these people who have never travelled to such a wild country what Thailand is really like, but above all be proud of your girl before you lose her to someone who would be. Whereas I agree with the second part of that statement the first part is particularly abhorent! If I was out with my wife in Thailand and she had to go over to tables and explain i'm not from Isaan but England has chocolate men I'd wonder why the hell she felt the need to walk around explaining my existence. Celebrate how different she is don't hide her in the attic/cellar. What I mean is tell people where you met her, how you met her. Celebrate the lady and land she's from... the brothel part was just banter, which is something to get used to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JBL Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Even in Phuket, when I was staying in kamala I felt like everyone assumed my thai gf was a hooker (she's not lol), when we visited a friend's hotel the thai staff even stopped us to advise her that i would need to pay the hotel extra if she stayed with me because they thought she was a hooker. So it's not even limited to just farang who will think that about her. We used to get the same when in Thailand - now I get my wife (who is Thai) to check in for us at all hotels with her Austrailian passport - keeps the desk staff in check! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Well don't then.. Speak English or Thai, but certainly not bastardized English That's the problem, he doesn't speak Thai and she speaks Thanglish Learn to speak basic Thai, no one at home would ever know if you sound like a 3 year old or not Best suggestion - mind you, the conversations would be short Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Wow! That is sad! Don't you have friends? I mean, you could go out as group for a few times. Or are your friends treating you like that as well? Then it would be time to get 2 things: 1) balls 2) new friends Other than that: balls might be enough! You love that woman? Stand up for her! Nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to be afraid of! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 To her this translates as me being embarrassed to be seen with her and it hurts her a lot. To me this translates as you're embarrassed to be seen with her and she is understandably hurt. I suggest you put these people right. Tell them where you met her, unless it was in a brothel, explain to these people who have never travelled to such a wild country what Thailand is really like, but above all be proud of your girl before you lose her to someone who would be. Whereas I agree with the second part of that statement the first part is particularly abhorent! If I was out with my wife in Thailand and she had to go over to tables and explain i'm not from Isaan but England has chocolate men I'd wonder why the hell she felt the need to walk around explaining my existence. Celebrate how different she is don't hide her in the attic/cellar. What I mean is tell people where you met her, how you met her. Celebrate the lady and land she's from... the brothel part was just banter, which is something to get used to... agree with that part but I wouldn't initiate this as an opening part of a conversation, only because I think that would be just as hurtful. If someone came up and said, Hi, I've been to / want to go to Asia on holiday, where are you from etc? fine Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I still think my advice about pulling out his junk and waving it around at all the gawkers in a restaurant is the best yet..... maybe thats just me. tis a fine suggestion and shouldn't be discounted from any potential brainstorming sessions.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I know what you mean. We have a much bigger age gap than you. Every time we go shopping I see the death stares from the women and the 'knowing' smiles from the men (until their wives catch them smiling). Nothing to worry about, just enjoy each other and get out and show her all the sights. No one has come up to me and said anything yet but I do have a couple of choice phrases at the ready just in case. Life is too short to worry about what others think of my happiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Even in Phuket, when I was staying in kamala I felt like everyone assumed my thai gf was a hooker (she's not lol), when we visited a friend's hotel the thai staff even stopped us to advise her that i would need to pay the hotel extra if she stayed with me because they thought she was a hooker. So it's not even limited to just farang who will think that about her. Happened to us when coming into the hotel from the side entrance - my wife was taking photos and didn't hear, so I said no Thai, please tell her... then put my fingers in my ears as touch paper well and truly lit!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Posts containing profanity have been removed: 3) Not to post in a manner that is vulgar, obscene or profane. Simply put, if you don't want your posts removed, don't post in a profane manner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You either deal with it like a man or dont have an Asian gf. Grow some <deleted> for Ch*st sakes!!!!!! The stigma is the OP's wife being Thai, not Asian. Whether we like it or not, Thai and Filipino women have a stigma attached to them that others don't have. Perhaps it's different in the UK, but in the US, most Americans cannot tell the difference between a Thai, Filipino, Vietnamese, Cambodian, or any other Asian for that matter. So it could be an an "Asian" thing. For Ruperts, I'm sure you're aware that racism still exists for interracial couples. In the US, people who become involved in an interracial relationship sort of know that going in. So they decide early on if they're cut out for it. If you're sensitive to it, you're going to have a tough time because it's never going to end. So it's really whether or not you're built for it. You're both young so you can still make choices. But you're not doing your GF any favors by hanging on with this sort of attitude because over time, it's going to wear on both of you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BespokeMan Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Personally I believe that the real crux of the issue has not been resolved just yet. Maybe if you could post of the photo of you two together we might be able to provide some accurate feedback and critical analysis for you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thenervoussurgeon Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) I am 23 years older than my wife ,in all the years we lived in the UK i never had a problem ,but then my wife speaks very good english dresses well and is friendly ,we have a son ,who at the time was quite young , we used to mix socially with all our friends and neighbours ,but then we lived in a big town there was only one occasion when a guy said something and i put him down and everyone laughed at him . dont take any notice of other people ,if they have a problem ,its theirs ,not yours. And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened Edited February 27, 2012 by thenervoussurgeon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmsally Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 What part of the UK is the OP from. There are Thai people everywhere in the UK. Some British people can be strange but maybe try to get your wife involved with a hobby or sport, once common interests are involved the Brits soon forget the differences. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened Well, you're in your eighties and your better half in her fifties . . . that does make a difference in the staff's attitude. Let's also not forget that hotels are required by law to get details of people 'staying' at their premises and moaning about it is ridiculous Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
necronx99 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Previously I said 90% of this is in your head. I have reread your post and the thread and make an unreserved retraction. It's 100% in your head. The thread title says it all. That you refer to it as a stigma says it all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petesear Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 If you'd have got yourself a Hi-So Chinese-Thai girl like mine then you wouldn't have had any of these worries.. Would it be possible for her to wear something a little less revealing and try and cover up her tattoos when she is out with you...? I don't know where these preconceived ideas come from! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2unique Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 And if i walked into a hotel and the staff told me i had to pay extra for my wife ,i would book out instantly . we have stayed in hotels all over Thailand and this has NEVER EVER happened admittedly in my instance this was the security guard on our 3rd day which was xmas eve - and he said no hookers allowed at the gala party. I doubt he'll make that mistake twice, my wife certainly handed him an edumacation! 6 years ago at our wedding i wondered what the response to my wife would be if we should go to England and how I would deal with that response so I get where the OP is coming from. I've walked away from far worse personally but do get punchy if people I care about are involved. I think the OP would be surprised at all the new friends he would gain as based on comments from various sites, more than a fair few would be round attempting to shag her! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainman34014 Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 I think the OP just 'thinks too much'. We don't live in the UK but have visited a lot and have never had a problem. Family and friends just accepted my wife and respect the fact that she is just a Human Being like the rest of us. Wherever we go in Blighty people are always nice to her, which makes me more proud of her. We are 18 years apart in age but nobody has ever appeared to notice or care. Been all over Europe, Australia and the States and never a problem anywhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jayjayjayjay Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 You've got way too much time on your hands, she's you gf, forget what anybody else in the world thinks and get on with making her and yourself happy.............................................. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Mobi Posted February 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 27, 2012 Whenever I take one of my teenage Thai hookers to England, the first thing I do to make her feel at home is have her cavort down my local Cotswolds village street in her 'Walking Street' finest. This soon brings the precious lovelies out from behind their lace curtains and into the street from their million pound thatched cottages, and before my little Nit Noi can squirt a ping pong ball at the local constabulary, an impromptu street part commences, and a riotous oriental knees-up is had by one an' all. Then, just to make sure the little darling is not still not feeling insecure and degraded, we adjourn the the village pub, where I crank up the ghetto blaster and she strips off her skimpy outfit, jumps up on the bar, and grinds her gorgeous little arse against a statue of Kings Charles Head, while yours truly takes deposits for private performances in the boudoir upstairs. By taking this kind of initiative, you and your lady will always be given the most incredible welcome and you will never feel in anyway self concious... 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UbonOz Posted February 27, 2012 Share Posted February 27, 2012 Have been to the UK several times with the wife. People to look, but the ones that talk are genuinely interested in who she is, where is she from etc. She makes an effort to communicate, her English is quite good. She will go to the shops alone if I don't want to go. I think farangs are stared at more in Thailand. My UK friends/relatives have no problems conversing, in they probably want to talk to her more than me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post StreetCowboy Posted February 27, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 27, 2012 (edited) Whenever I take one of my teenage Thai hookers to England, the first thing I do to make her feel at home is have her cavort down my local Cotswolds village street in her 'Walking Street' finest. This soon brings the precious lovelies out from behind their lace curtains and into the street from their million pound thatched cottages, and before my little Nit Noi can squirt a ping pong ball at the local constabulary, an impromptu street part commences, and a riotous oriental knees-up is had by one an' all. Then, just to make sure the little darling is not still not feeling insecure and degraded, we adjourn the the village pub, where I crank up the ghetto blaster and she strips off her skimpy outfit, jumps up on the bar, and grinds her gorgeous little arse against a statue of Kings Charles Head, while yours truly takes deposits for private performances in the boudoir upstairs. By taking this kind of initiative, you and your lady will always be given the most incredible welcome and you will never feel in anyway self concious... I can't avoid feeling you're not trying to be entirely helpful. Personally, I try to avoid anyone finding out I have a Thai girlfriend, for fear news of it reaches my wife SC Edited February 27, 2012 by StreetCowboy 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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