theblether Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I think it's interesting that so many people are going for the "toughen up" jugular here........the Op has had the bottle to ask for advice, I say 10 / 10 for that. The only people I know of that have no fear are locked up in the local psychiatric hospitals. They are known as "psychos". To paraphrase Gordon Gecko " Fear is good", it sharpens you up, get's your adrenaline going, makes you think.....all good things in my book. If I hear someone saying they fear nothing I know I am in the company of an idiot. Me?.......I fear nappy rash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IanForbes Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 15) Not to use ThaiVisa.com to post any material which is knowingly or can be reasonably construed as false, inaccurate, invasive of a person's privacy, or otherwise in violation of any law. 19) Not to post other members' personal details, photos or web site details. Doing so will result in an instant ban. I've read those rules many times and I've never done either... ever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 How does a 27-year-old "Thai professional" female with a heavy accent end up in the UK? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daftpunker Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) why does he even care when i wasback homei had a nice thai gf and everyone stared i thought it was due to the fact she was beautiful.chill out peeps. Edited February 28, 2012 by daftpunker Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
culicine Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Did you also notice Thais staring at you when you were in Thailand. I had that for a while but didn't really bother me - they'd look at me first, then her, and seems like they were trying to size up the situation ! Now if there are any stares I don't notice it, or they are looking at my son instead. Focus on your wife and not what others around you are doing. I met my wife in Australia and we were together there quite a while. Can't say I noticed any stares at all there. So maybe it's more you are worrying about what others think than what is really happing around you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TomTao Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 I often get people looking when I am with my wife, they look at me, then my wife, then at me, then I smile, they smile back, no drama. My wife tells me what some of the middle aged ones say, often how big I am, how small she is and how the size difference works. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marstons Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 you should get to the stage where you dont notice people looking, yes they will look and comment but it should get as you dont give a dam_n. Either get to that stage or quit the relationship based on what you have said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bakeman Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 Dude, Married a Thai. I am proud of her and her heritage just like I am proud of mine. Guys are jealous of me and girls are jealous of my wife. I fixed many people string by buying her a LV purse. Now they only look at us but stare at the purse. True story in Thailand. In the States they would just stare at her for she is different. Not bad just different. If you love her get over it before you lose her and regret it for the rest of your life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roadman Posted February 28, 2012 Share Posted February 28, 2012 (edited) You have to change it around because you have to accept there are people that think differently to you - and if its their view not yours, that you are going to use as the judge, then where is the logic in that?. My wife and I have no issues now with people’s looks or thoughts. We get a lot of looks as a couple, and now they wash off because the bulk of them are good, as we are a happy loving couple. Again there are the odd strange looks but it’s their strange look not mine, so it’s their issue. The worst I have ever had was not long after starting dating her, I had a very well off thai male, in Udon Thani, look at both of us with disdain for holding hands in public. That encounter wisened me and helped change my thinking. As for the language issue, I never bother with that as it is my partners and my conversation and our way of having fun...or is learning or attempting to learn another language not desirable of our progress. I know I loved it with the boot on the other foot and on my first trip to Thailand having fun at evening meals having the waitresses teach me some basis Thai manners and language. The beautiful thai woman opposite you is able to speak some English? She is fluent in her language and partly in yours? Are you able to speak hers as well as she can speak yours? The public side line critics? You are allowing public side line critics who some of will only ever speak one language to judge your exotic beauty taking the patience and tolerance to learn theirs? You are a strange judge. I smile at my partner, continuing have fun with her and wonder why I am so blessed. There was a very humouress post a few pages in taking the p!ss out of those old guys in their west end daks strumping down the street with the just out of her teens Asian girl still in her bargirl kit...that is one of the two times I cringe. The other that I have only just got over and it took a while was with my daughter (step). She has just started uni which helps as she is now in a larger Asian community mix than what she had here at home which is western falang dominant, but some of the worst looks I used to get was with her...and mostly from females. When I was out and about with her in school uniform or with the three of us as a family we would get mostly welcoming friendly looks from all. When we are out and about as Dad and Daughter (she's slim and beautiful and presents herself with style which doesn’t help) then there are basically two main looks...guys, (old and young) taking longer than the brief one look which I have learnt to deal with. What was difficult for a while was the second main group of looks which were generally not nice from older western falang females...immediately their judgement changes from what was obvious when school or family themes are re - introduced. The prejudice is obvious when a western dad with his western daughter gains a welcoming happy smile. It is my daughter I would feel the most for. But what I realised was while I was taking on these peoples judgements, I was forgetting who's judgement was the most important, and the funny thing is my daughter doesn't judge those things, she lets them slide and is already onto her next question for me. Again with this one I smile at her and wonder hell the hell a guy like me, who buggered up most of his life, has been blessed with the two most beautiful creatures you could wish to have in your life. And that they came from an old culture like Thailand and from the plains of Isaan make them even more beautiful. Be your own judge, not a judge for others, and wise up to what you are judging. Edited March 1, 2012 by metisdead Font reset, please use the default forum font when posting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Briggsy Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 What is her job? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoodMaiDai Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 I had several black GFs in the USA years ago. Living in the midwest you can imagine the stares and comments. Black men used to comment that she was a "sell out." Just shrug it off. Don't let it get to you. They are ALL small minded people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David006 Posted February 29, 2012 Share Posted February 29, 2012 Forget the psyco babble. Forget societies (norms) I have two words of wisdom for all the judgemental people. Fukc em. Live your life. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com perfect sentiment ..... I find it amusing ....happened all the time with my Canadian Chinese girlfriend ( similar age to me )in the UK many many years ago., also with an Indian girlfriend in far North Canada......and now with my Thai wife when in Canada.........the guys watching , ogling or whatever and their wives/girlfriends with a mouth like a cats bum..... However generally it is probably as one poster said..curiosity..most people I find go over the top with interest or kindness ....like I was wheeling a baby or carrying a new puppy or something..who knows? OP does seem more than a little insecure though..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BespokeMan Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 All sounds a bit breach of anonymity as well. I can understand the voyeuristic pleasure of it, but is bespoken's imagination really so poor (or pure) that he can't twist one off the wrist imagining what she looks like? or he? well i was trying to use an economy of words without appearing terse, so to sc may i explain myself the guy is talking about a perceived bias and feeling uncomfortable in a social situation no mention was there of snide remark or careless whispers but of a feeling of, and i quote, We get stared at a lot so what could this perceived fear of bias be based on? so, my suggestion was simply that the guy shows us of photo of them two together very puritan indeed are my thoughts i am sure that it would not break the forums rules because you are showing a photo of yourself and you partner who is married hence not contravening the spirit of the - dont show someone elses photo rule - maybe once we have viewed the couple together a wave of compliments will wash away the mans fear of a social stigma and he can rely upon the good nature of the other people here and not have the expense of seeking professional help does that clarify things now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post lovelomsak Posted March 1, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted March 1, 2012 I had a Filipina gf back in Canada she had only been in Canada for a year. I used to love taking her out and show her how good life is in Canada.I remember one night we were in a very good restaurant on the top floor of a 5 star holtel having dinner. She had never in her life been to such a place. I was so happy to be able to give her all my attention and time to assist her in understanding what was going on and making her comfortable in her new surroundings. I could have cared less what others thought in the restaurant.Giving total attention to her being comfortable made me feel so strong and caring,plus she felt relaxed and truly cared for and at ease with what was going on.You know I donot know if others were even watching.I couldnot tell you other peoples responses to what we were doing because I wasnot interested in what others were doing. If you love a woman any nationality, you should learn to show it in a mature way. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daewoo Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Learn to speak Thai... if people overhear you speaking to her in Thai, they will know your commitment to her, and won't know what you are talking about... two birds, one stone... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wallaby Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Learn to speak Thai... if people overhear you speaking to her in Thai, they will know your commitment to her, and won't know what you are talking about... two birds, one stone... I probably know about 10 short sayings in Thai. I repeat them over and over in front of others and they think I'm a bloody marvel and it is obvious we can have nice conversations so all is good. The gf thinks I'm a <deleted> though. But yes it seems to work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 Learn to speak Thai... if people overhear you speaking to her in Thai, they will know your commitment to her, and won't know what you are talking about... two birds, one stone... I probably know about 10 short sayings in Thai. I repeat them over and over in front of others and they think I'm a bloody marvel and it is obvious we can have nice conversations so all is good. The gf thinks I'm a <deleted> though. But yes it seems to work. I'd hesitate to use my limited Thai at the dinner table SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onionluke Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 (edited) I had a Filipina gf back in Canada she had only been in Canada for a year. I used to love taking her out and show her how good life is in Canada.I remember one night we were in a very good restaurant on the top floor of a 5 star holtel having dinner. She had never in her life been to such a place. I was so happy to be able to give her all my attention and time to assist her in understanding what was going on and making her comfortable in her new surroundings. I could have cared less what others thought in the restaurant.Giving total attention to her being comfortable made me feel so strong and caring,plus she felt relaxed and truly cared for and at ease with what was going on.You know I donot know if others were even watching.I couldnot tell you other peoples responses to what we were doing because I wasnot interested in what others were doing. If you love a woman any nationality, you should learn to show it in a mature way. Did she used to hit you on the arm and call you "gagoo" ? I had a Philippina partner once , she was totally inawed with escalators and wanted her photo taken on them all the time , but I wasn't ashamed . Eventually she told me I had to meet some real people and open my mind and then she left . Funny old life this . Edited March 1, 2012 by onionluke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farangme Posted March 1, 2012 Share Posted March 1, 2012 We speak thaiglish. Our Thai friends follow it, bet local farang are lost. Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ruperts, where the heck are you? You need to get this thread back on track. We're now talking about Filipinas, for Christ's sake. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ruperts, where the heck are you? You need to get this thread back on track. We're now talking about Filipinas, for Christ's sake. Worse still - we're introspectively complaining about the topic of the thread, instead of doing anything about it. At the little restaurant where I sometimes meet friends for coffee, there's a Western bloke comes in with a Chinese lady most nights, and we don't talk particularly much about the fact that they are a mixed-race couple, but we do discuss the fact that they always bring a bottle of wine, which table they sit at, what kind of car they drive, whether its his car or hers, and how intimate they are. I am led to believe that the topic first arose because a) they seemed to be there every night we were (including the nights that I was missing from the group) our central character drives a Ford, as they do - though a different model. What kind of car does the OP drive? Does he and his girlfriend always tend to eat in the same restaurant and sit at the same table? SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ruperts, where the heck are you? You need to get this thread back on track. We're now talking about Filipinas, for Christ's sake. Worse still - we're introspectively complaining about the topic of the thread, instead of doing anything about it. At the little restaurant where I sometimes meet friends for coffee, there's a Western bloke comes in with a Chinese lady most nights, and we don't talk particularly much about the fact that they are a mixed-race couple, but we do discuss the fact that they always bring a bottle of wine, which table they sit at, what kind of car they drive, whether its his car or hers, and how intimate they are. I am led to believe that the topic first arose because a) they seemed to be there every night we were (including the nights that I was missing from the group) our central character drives a Ford, as they do - though a different model. What kind of car does the OP drive? Does he and his girlfriend always tend to eat in the same restaurant and sit at the same table? SC Intriguing questions, indeed. Perhaps this will bring the OP out of hibernation to address these mind-numbing inquiries. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ruperts, where the heck are you? You need to get this thread back on track. We're now talking about Filipinas, for Christ's sake. Worse still - we're introspectively complaining about the topic of the thread, instead of doing anything about it. At the little restaurant where I sometimes meet friends for coffee, there's a Western bloke comes in with a Chinese lady most nights, and we don't talk particularly much about the fact that they are a mixed-race couple, but we do discuss the fact that they always bring a bottle of wine, which table they sit at, what kind of car they drive, whether its his car or hers, and how intimate they are. I am led to believe that the topic first arose because a) they seemed to be there every night we were (including the nights that I was missing from the group) our central character drives a Ford, as they do - though a different model. What kind of car does the OP drive? Does he and his girlfriend always tend to eat in the same restaurant and sit at the same table? SC Intriguing questions, indeed. Perhaps this will bring the OP out of hibernation to address these mind-numbing inquiries. I am just pointing out that maybe it is not the colour of her boyfriend that causes people to talk about the lady in question. SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berkshire Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ruperts, where the heck are you? You need to get this thread back on track. We're now talking about Filipinas, for Christ's sake. Worse still - we're introspectively complaining about the topic of the thread, instead of doing anything about it. At the little restaurant where I sometimes meet friends for coffee, there's a Western bloke comes in with a Chinese lady most nights, and we don't talk particularly much about the fact that they are a mixed-race couple, but we do discuss the fact that they always bring a bottle of wine, which table they sit at, what kind of car they drive, whether its his car or hers, and how intimate they are. I am led to believe that the topic first arose because a) they seemed to be there every night we were (including the nights that I was missing from the group) our central character drives a Ford, as they do - though a different model. What kind of car does the OP drive? Does he and his girlfriend always tend to eat in the same restaurant and sit at the same table? SC Intriguing questions, indeed. Perhaps this will bring the OP out of hibernation to address these mind-numbing inquiries. I am just pointing out that maybe it is not the colour of her boyfriend that causes people to talk about the lady in question. SC Understand. I'm just wondering if the OP's got his life in order. Inquiring minds want to know... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) ... ... Intriguing questions, indeed. Perhaps this will bring the OP out of hibernation to address these mind-numbing inquiries. I am just pointing out that maybe it is not the colour of her boyfriend that causes people to talk about the lady in question. SC Understand. I'm just wondering if the OP's got his life in order. Inquiring minds want to know... I'm not so bothered about him; I was just wondering if his girlfriend thought it was time to move on... EDIT: typo corrected Edited March 2, 2012 by StreetCowboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nong38 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) The word jealousy spring to mind for females of the homeland, their time has long gone and it is their only weapon left. As for the men well they have to go along to a certain extent bur secretly wish they were in your shoes! I can understand your feelings and sympathise with you, there is little you can do to change the situation other than to try new places where you are better accepted. Edited March 2, 2012 by nong38 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sing_Sling Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 (edited) Ah, another whitey-misogynist . . . I wonder why so many here are having a go at the OP's fellow village-people ( ) and calling them jealous, racists, throwing in the odd bizarre snipe at western women etc... All the OP said was that, being the one of the only mixed race couples in town, people stare at them at times. There was no mention of leering guys wanting to jump the wife, deflated women bringing out their claws because there is this exotic beauty (well, aren't we led to believe all Thais must be more beautiful than any western woman) now going for their husbands, people ready to don their white hats and kiss the KKK badge before burning this foreigner in their midst. Chill, people . . . the OP feels uncomfortable being with someone from another ethnicity. No more, no less. The problem is his, not his fellow who are - quite understandably curious about this different-looking newcomer . . . who isn't a blood relative of her husband. Edited March 2, 2012 by Sing_Sling 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Ah, another whitey-misogynist . . . I wonder why so many here are having a go at the OP's fellow village-people ( ) and calling them jealous, racists, throwing in the odd bizarre snipe at western women etc... All the OP said was that, being the one of the only mixed race couples in town, people stare at them at times. There was no mention of leering guys wanting to jump the wife, deflated women bringing out their claws because there is this exotic beauty (well, aren't we led to believe all Thais must be more beautiful than any western woman) now going for their husbands, people ready to don their white hats and kiss the KKK badge before burning this foreigner in their midst. Chill, people . . . the OP feels uncomfortable being with someone from another ethnicity. No more, no less. The problem is his, not his fellow who are - quite understandably curious about this different-looking newcomer . . . who isn't a blood relative of her husband. Your Village People emoticon reminds me of this character from Little Britain. There are several sketches featuring this guy on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E27v-jmRmx0 The actor playing the part is called Matt Lucas and he is himself gay in real life. In effect he is playing a parody of a parody. Keeping to the comedy theme there are these guys too...... The running joke with these two was that they "Don't like strangers here", and any stranger having the misfortune to enter their shop would come to a bad end. Humour has always been the best weapon to kill prejudice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theblether Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 Learn to speak Thai... if people overhear you speaking to her in Thai, they will know your commitment to her, and won't know what you are talking about... two birds, one stone... I probably know about 10 short sayings in Thai. I repeat them over and over in front of others and they think I'm a bloody marvel and it is obvious we can have nice conversations so all is good. The gf thinks I'm a <deleted> though. But yes it seems to work. I'd hesitate to use my limited Thai at the dinner table SC It would depend on the location of the dinner table....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted March 2, 2012 Share Posted March 2, 2012 forgive me for asking but... how old are u and how old is ur GF. and i take it that ur in the UK. I'm 28 and she is 27. We're in a particularly white part of the UK. We have been to other more multicultural cities and I felt noticably more comfortable, but maybe that's just because I care much less about what people think when I know i'm never going to see them again. We've been to Thailand together and that was great. Unfortunately due to career commitments we can't move elsewhere for a few years at least. Thanks for all the replies so far. They're more or less what I expected and what I know to be correct - that I must just get over it, but it's difficult. Whenever I hear Thai or Thailand in a conversation the inevitable giggles and jokes that follows I die a little inside. I can't even let her nationality become common knowledge at work for fear of losing respect from colleagues. I feel dreadful for how it must feel for her to be isolated from the world of someone who is supposed to be looking out for her interests. You should respond to such things in the same way as you would were she white. Just stop short of whacking anyone. A good test of who your real friends are. Anyone else is inconsequential in any case. Thirdly...you lucky dog! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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