Does Your Thai Wife Do This...

[GarryP]

A couple of times when the wife gave me the silent treatment I did not notice anything wrong. I mistakenly put it down to us getting along. It was only when she was over the sulk that I found out she had been sulking. Doesn't say much for our level of communication though. After 25 years of marriage, conversations are mainly limited to important stuff.

[transam]

In the UK with my ex l had a calender which l marked for a particular time every 28 days. I disappeared in my garage for 2 days.

[nocturn]

wow, a thaivisa support group.

And to think i have been making do with only the support of close friends all these years.

what was i thinking!

[BookMan]

Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one.

Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons.

Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters.

Bugger me blether ... look what you have started.

Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you

[David48]

Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one.

Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons.

Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters.

Bugger me blether ... look what you have started.

Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you

BookMan, nice to see your old Avatar back ... I kind of grew quiet fond of that dogs' face.

I'll be blethered to understand why you changed it in the first place.

So ... just why did you change it?

[BookMan]

Mate, thanks for drawing the curtain on that one.

Nice how you told us her story and believe me ... everyone has their demons.

Maybe might encourage a few more folks to open up a little in the company of fellow posters.

Bugger me blether ... look what you have started.

Theblether can confirm that he has no intention of buggering you

BookMan, nice to see your old Avatar back ... I kind of grew quiet fond of that dogs' face.

I'll be blethered to understand why you changed it in the first place.

So ... just why did you change it?

I like that Soi Dog myself.. One of my favourites.

Why did I change Avatar? I felt like a change, and selecting an animated avatar seemed a good idea at the time, so first I tried a Pacman. I always enjoyed the game pacman, although i was <deleted> at it....but looking for more than 30 seconds at the ball the Pacman was eating every half second...well all those balls made me agitated....sexual repression or just repetitive annoyance I am not sure...On further thought I think it is in fact a 'pill' pacman eats.

Then the green bottle with marbles inside it...Initially it seemed relaxing, but after further thought I didn't like that one much either. The green marble avatar would have been better suited if the marbles had in been continually falling out of the bottle, as in, 'I am losing my marbles'; That would have been quite apt. really.

So....back to the dog as Avatar. Taking photos of 'Soi dogs in situ' has become a sort of random hobby for me, extending now to 'market dogs in situ'...

anyway, no need to Blether on about all this...

[bangkokburning]

Not married. Partner 2+ years but have to say...nope.

[connda]

I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought.

Good advice. She actually is dealing with (drum roll)...menopause! Hormone roller-coaster~~~~~ She actually called me up and asked me to buy her an Ice Coffee. Maybe she just "broke the ice" on the silent treatment. I'll toss a rose in and see what happens.

I didn't read the rest of the thread, I confess. I saw this and thought oh god poor woman. You men can have no idea what menopause is like, much less the emotional fear it engenders.

I am sure she has her demons to deal with, don't we all? BUT menopause will make everthing worse. Its hard enough dealing with the hot flashes and the emotional swings but add in the feelings of loss and of growing old and unattractive and its every woman's worst nightmare. I am not menopausal but I watched my mother suffer from a horrific one due to being taken off estrogen when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She would literally turn beet red and start sweating from hot flashes and a normally calm woman have mood swings that she never had before being taken off the estrogen.

Take her to a doctor, if she doesn't have a history of breast cancer in her family she may want to consider a low dose HRT. She should up her soy intake, soy milk is a good one if she doesn't like tofu etc.

And try to be understanding, this is very difficult time for every woman and a loving, thoughtful and considerate attitude from you will go very far in helping her deal with it.

She regularly sees her doctor. We work though her hot spell and discomfort. When things get particularly comfortable for her, she takes hormones. If you read the rest of the post, you'd understand the depth of it. It's not just hormones.

And you women have no idea what it's like to be kicked in the balls, much less the emotional fear it engenders.

Sweet Jesus, I'm too old for this silly patronization, and gross generalizations. You men, you just don't understand, blah, blah, blah. Please, take that nonsense to a different forum. You don't have a clue.

Edited March 9, 2012 by connda

[sbk]

I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought.

Good advice. She actually is dealing with (drum roll)...menopause! Hormone roller-coaster~~~~~ She actually called me up and asked me to buy her an Ice Coffee. Maybe she just "broke the ice" on the silent treatment. I'll toss a rose in and see what happens.

I didn't read the rest of the thread, I confess. I saw this and thought oh god poor woman. You men can have no idea what menopause is like, much less the emotional fear it engenders.

I am sure she has her demons to deal with, don't we all? BUT menopause will make everthing worse. Its hard enough dealing with the hot flashes and the emotional swings but add in the feelings of loss and of growing old and unattractive and its every woman's worst nightmare. I am not menopausal but I watched my mother suffer from a horrific one due to being taken off estrogen when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She would literally turn beet red and start sweating from hot flashes and a normally calm woman have mood swings that she never had before being taken off the estrogen.

Take her to a doctor, if she doesn't have a history of breast cancer in her family she may want to consider a low dose HRT. She should up her soy intake, soy milk is a good one if she doesn't like tofu etc.

And try to be understanding, this is very difficult time for every woman and a loving, thoughtful and considerate attitude from you will go very far in helping her deal with it.

She regularly sees her doctor. We work though her hot spell and discomfort. When things get particularly comfortable for her, she takes hormones. If you read the rest of the post, you'd understand the depth of it. It's not just hormones.

And you women have no idea what it's like to be kicked in the balls, much less the emotional fear it engenders.

Sweet Jesus, I'm too old for this silly patronization, and gross generalizations. You men, you just don't understand, blah, blah, blah. Please, take that nonsense to a different forum. You don't have a clue.

No I guess I don't thank god. I didn't sift through 7 pages of the thread to find out somewhere in the middle that you choose to live with an abusive wife and then complain about it on the internet.

I would suggest you drop the aggressive attitude, a simple polite answer to what was a well meaning post that was attempting to be helpful would have sufficed rather than this.

[thaibeachlovers]

In the UK with my ex l had a calender which l marked for a particular time every 28 days. I disappeared in my garage for 2 days.

You were lucky! Try living with someone that has irregular periods that last from 1 to 5 or 6 days. One never knows when the crazy talk will start.

Edited March 10, 2012 by thaibeachlovers

[maxme]

Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english

Well, though English isn´t exactly well taught in Thailand there are some who actually do speak fluently. Maybe my girl is one of those exceptions.

[David48]

Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english

Well, though English isn´t exactly well taught in Thailand there are some who actually do speak fluently. Maybe my girl is one of those exceptions.

Where exactly did she learn her perfect English?

Not a wind-up ... just wondering because it is so seldom spoken in Thailand.

My gf's useless, just get her up to speed before I leave and wacko ... and 6 months later with the next visit she's got a Scottish accent.

[maxme]

Actualy my wife and i speak to each other properly ,not in pidgeon english

Well, though English isn´t exactly well taught in Thailand there are some who actually do speak fluently. Maybe my girl is one of those exceptions.

Where exactly did she learn her perfect English?

Not a wind-up ... just wondering because it is so seldom spoken in Thailand.

My gf's useless, just get her up to speed before I leave and wacko ... and 6 months later with the next visit she's got a Scottish accent.

She went to the best schools from primary and up and ended up at Chulangkorn, but I think the most important besides having a native speaker as a teacher (Americans in her case) is how much effort they put in themselves. She wanna learn and wanna nail the accent and she has done that. There have been more than on one occasion where some Americans have asked here which state she was from. All in all, I think it´s about willing to learn more than just the basics and some give up too soon. If you really wanna learn then you will.

Edited April 2, 2012 by maxme

[nocturn]

i cant help myself -- Is she chinese-thai?

[maxme]

i cant help myself -- Is she chinese-thai?

You mean Sino-Thai... Nah, southern but she spent most of her life in Bkk. Sorry to burst your bubble man

Edited April 2, 2012 by maxme

[IanForbes]

If you dated adults instead of grown children then childish situations like this would be less likely to happen.

Well actually, children are a whole lot more fun than adults. Who is talking about dating?. I think that silly system went out in the 1960s. And, the only practical reason to marry anyone is to have children and raise a family. Men have more in common with other men then they do with women.

[spiritrace]

The female thing is universal, just slight differences due to nationality. My Thai wife is not so different from most. There are little Thai things she adds to it.

I have never understood women and what motivates them. I am not so sure I want to know what goes on inside their heads....could be harmful to me!

I just shut up and ignore most of her rants. And yes, they NEVER forget some little thing that was insignificant to me. My wife's patterns do change slowly. Yes, definitely 28 days but there are other cycles that she displays with other issues.

I know women are affected by hormones, body and brain chemicals and all that. You gotta feel for that sort of thing. Quite often they don't even know their chemistry is off.That kind of thing changes any human, male or female.

I just try to be patient and not agitate an already agitated mood in my wife. Very difficult at times.

Marking the calendar is a good idea for men who are trying to deal with this kind of thing. Sometimes it can show signs of depression which is a serious medical problem. Just try to be patient and understanding.

[villagefarang]

If you dated adults instead of grown children then childish situations like this would be less likely to happen.

Well actually, children are a whole lot more fun than adults. Who is talking about dating?. I think that silly system went out in the 1960s. And, the only practical reason to marry anyone is to have children and raise a family. Men have more in common with other men then they do with women.

More in common perhaps but that is not necessarily a good thing. I have always preferred the company of women to that of other men. I have no interest in children but have derived many benefits from being married. Things are seldom as simple as you imply.

[Kasem]

thai lady not easy to live with becasue she not happy at home

[longstebe]

Brilliant OP. Made me laugh anyway.

My missus done something similar the other night, just completely out of the blue started blaming me for forgetting to bring the ironing board with us to Phuket which she would be the only one using it. In all fairness her mood or whatever you want to call it only lasted an hour.

[Ricardo]

A couple of times when the wife gave me the silent treatment I did not notice anything wrong. I mistakenly put it down to us getting along. It was only when she was over the sulk that I found out she had been sulking. Doesn't say much for our level of communication though. After 25 years of marriage, conversations are mainly limited to important stuff.

Who decides what constitutes "important stuff" ?

... on 2nd thoughts, forget that, the answer's obvious !

[Phil Conners]

I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought.

Good advice. She actually is dealing with (drum roll)...menopause! Hormone roller-coaster~~~~~ She actually called me up and asked me to buy her an Ice Coffee. Maybe she just "broke the ice" on the silent treatment. I'll toss a rose in and see what happens.

I was just about to suggest PMS.

[maxme]

I understand how it seems like the story is out of the blue, Connda- but as a suggestion, considering her age and what she said- perhaps she is feeling insecure about getting older? I mean, I don't know either of you so it may be that this is completely unhelpful advice, but perhaps you could do/say something to reassure here about the 'real' topic, which is her getting older, while ignoring the trivial thing that set her off. Maybe buy her some flowers and remind her of how much longer you both have, etc., etc..... just a thought.

Good advice. She actually is dealing with (drum roll)...menopause! Hormone roller-coaster~~~~~ She actually called me up and asked me to buy her an Ice Coffee. Maybe she just "broke the ice" on the silent treatment. I'll toss a rose in and see what happens.

I was just about to suggest PMS.

Or just being a woman perhaps...

[MAJIC]

Now if I can get her t stop watching the TV soaps it will be great.

And that's part of the problem,copying the perpetual tantrums and aggressive behaviour of these ridiculous one script soaps.

[MAJIC]

Gosh, guys, have you ever actually thought of asking the little lady what's on her mind and then listening -- really listening? You know, a real live conversation?

For example, the OP could have gotten a conversation going by saying something like "yeah, it was a real bummer that I couldn't play Songkran last year. That dengue fever really hit me hard. I'm feeling great now and really looking foward to Songkran this year. What would you like to do for Songkran?"

All this heat, smoke and dusty air (at least up here in the north) probably got the lady thinking about how much she's looking forward to Songkran. Then she remembered how she didn't enjoy it last year, then she thought about why and then....... (clearly she forgot her thii rak was ill during the holiday)

Think you know nothing about Thai women.

Well obviously I'm not a Thai woman, but I am friends with some. They aren't all that much different than western women of similar age, education and socio-economic class when it comes to interaction with men.

I know better than to try to converse once the wife is in "The Mood." I just keep it light, talk to her like normal, and wait for her to snap out of it. Anyway, I have a very good friend of mine from the US who is coming over with her husband for Songkran. She'll just put an arm around my wife and talk her into having fun, and that will be that. What I thought was interesting was after having a really nice day together, she went to the bathroom to shower and worked herself into "The Mood" about something that happened almost a year ago. An angel went into the shower and a mɛ̂ɛmót came out -- na-glua maak maak. It really confused that heck out of me, but I just kept a smile on and I'll let her work through whatever she needs to work through. I really am a pretty understanding guy.

One of womans favourite ways of making sure you will not be in the mood for Sex tonight,is to start a Row before getting into bed.

[GarryP]

One of womans favourite ways of making sure you will not be in the mood for Sex tonight,is to start a Row before getting into bed.

What's sex?

[farangme]

Here's a new one:

When out shopping, found wife in a dress shop and she insisted on buying two new traditional Thai style dresses. I tried to persuade her she had enough of them already and didn't need them. She proceeded to explain it was my fault she wanted them because if I hadn't driven past the dress shop, she wouldn't have seen and wanted them.

I waited in the car a/c while she finished getting fitted. Too hot out to try arguing with that logic.

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

[WinnieTheKhwai]

One of womans favourite ways of making sure you will not be in the mood for Sex tonight,is to start a Row before getting into bed.

Huh? That almost guarantees it. Making up sex is the best. To the point that she'd start an argument BECAUSE she wants a good rogering.