Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

[xthAi76s]

Thai Directors of Tesco Lotus/Big C/etc:

"I don't think we need multiple teenage sales girls in every isle screaming about utterly simple products like toothpaste and peanuts."

[xthAi76s]

Thai "pretty" girls in any liquor section:

"You know, although I'm wearing this unusually short and tight skirt, bending over frequently showing my panties, standing around surrounded by liquor, I will not get upset when Farang customers ask me out or even propose an exchange of money for time with me because I'm obviously trying to sell sex to encourage alcohol purchase."

[xthAi76s]

Thai Tesco Lotus Directors:

"Hey, our store is always overcrowded with barely room for the shoppers (even without carts) to shop, so I don't think it's smart to introduce gargantuan shopping carts that have little cars on the front of them for our customers' young children to sit in."

[xthAi76s]

Thais in supermarket:

"I'm going to look around me before I begin to turn my large cart around 180 degrees."

[xthAi76s]

Thai Cleaning Lady:

"This floor is still clean, so I'm going to get out of the way as it is rush hour and wait until there is reason to clean it or until the traffic dies down a bit."

[xthAi76s]

Any number of Thais standing around gawking at someone being mistreated or even injured:

"That's not right. Don't do that to him/her."

[DocN]

Thai GF: If you ask me a simple question, that shows that you want my opinion, I will not answer "up to you"( mai pen rai/ arai godai) this time, but i will give it some thought and actually tell you what I think. The result of this will be, that you know exactly how I feel, can act accordingly and will not be pee-ed off at me later, because I am sulking, as you did not do what I intentionally wanted or when I tell you, that I would rather have it differently and it was really never "up to you" (mai pen rai/arai godai)!

[canuckamuck]

Thai GF: If you ask me a simple question, that shows that you want my opinion, I will not answer "up to you"( mai pen rai/ arai godai) this time, but i will give it some thought and actually tell you what I think. The result of this will be, that you know exactly how I feel, can act accordingly and will not be pee-ed off at me later, because I am sulking, as you did not do what I intentionally wanted or when I tell you, that I would rather have it differently and it was really never "up to you" (mai pen rai/arai godai)!

I find that particular issue knows no borders

[pauljones]

Office, Store, etc:

Today, the weather is beautiful, nice and cool. We should turn off the air-con and open the windows.

[pauljones]

Office worker, store clerk, etc. wearing a jacket indoors:

It's freezing in here. Let's adjust the thermostat.

[DocN]

Thai GF: If you ask me a simple question, that shows that you want my opinion, I will not answer "up to you"( mai pen rai/ arai godai) this time, but i will give it some thought and actually tell you what I think. The result of this will be, that you know exactly how I feel, can act accordingly and will not be pee-ed off at me later, because I am sulking, as you did not do what I intentionally wanted or when I tell you, that I would rather have it differently and it was really never "up to you" (mai pen rai/arai godai)!

I find that particular issue knows no borders

That may be, why we will never hear something like that!

[Payboy]

He doesn't need 4 of us standing around watching him while he works. Let's go find something constructive to do ourselves to get this project finished faster.

[IanForbes]

Thai GF: If you ask me a simple question, that shows that you want my opinion, I will not answer "up to you"( mai pen rai/ arai godai) this time, but i will give it some thought and actually tell you what I think. The result of this will be, that you know exactly how I feel, can act accordingly and will not be pee-ed off at me later, because I am sulking, as you did not do what I intentionally wanted or when I tell you, that I would rather have it differently and it was really never "up to you" (mai pen rai/arai godai)!

I find that particular issue knows no borders

True!

[IanForbes]

He doesn't need 4 of us standing around watching him while he works. Let's go find something constructive to do ourselves to get this project finished faster.

Are you talking about government city workers in Canada?

[xthAi76s]

Unwieldily Western Woman:

"Dang, these Thai women, on average, are gorgeous. Petit, delicate and feminine. I better workout, slim down, and tone down my Feminism lest I be completely ignored by all the men here."

[Payboy]

No one outside can actually see me in this car with because of the heavily tinted windows, so I really don't need to drive agressively just to get over my SMS.

[xthAi76s]

Recent Farang Transplant:

"I know that eating deep fried food and eating boat loads of sugar at every meal is bad for me, but since I am here in Thailand now and since the food is so goddamn good, I'm going to abandon all common sense cause, hey, if it's good enough for the Thais, it's good enough for me!"

[xthAi76s]

Farang:

"I know that riding on an old, 4th-hand lady motorcycle with my Thai wife and children with no helmets is dangerous as hell, but since I'm here in Thailand and because it's just so dam_n fun, I'm going to abandon all the knowledge of my ancestors 'cause if it's good enough for the Thais, it's good enough for me and my family!"

[pauljones]

Farang woman in Bangkok:

I was asked out on a date.

[xthAi76s]

Farang (Black):

"Dam_n, they don't really like us here, either..."

-- sorry, but kinda true

[xthAi76s]

Any African:

"I wonder if my wearing this very cheap, poorly made, ill-fitting, off-the-rack, dull looking suit is actually improving my chances of being taken seriously as a business person."

[canuckamuck]

At a vehicle detailing shop:

1. Yeah you are right, I probably would look dumb if I put a decal on my car with the English letters backwards on one side and the right way on the other. Someone would probably guess I have no idea what these words mean as well.

2.Having a Ferrari sticker on my Toyota makes no sense at all. It's almost as lame as that TRD sticker on Somchai's Isuzu

[loong]

Rural Thai Mother - "You know, screaming NAWN NAWN NAWN! at the top of my voice may not be the best way to get my baby to sleep"

Rural Thai Mother - "Sorry I can't go to the village shop and eat Som Tam and chat for 3 hours. My baby is asleep now and it would be irresponsible to go out and leave him/her alone"

Rural Thai Mother - "Every time I leave my baby on the table, he'/she rolls off and falls. I won't do that again"

Rural Thai - "It may not be a good idea to allow your one year old child to play with that sharp knife/machete. It could be dangerous"

[pauljones]

Street vendor:

My supply of fishballs spilled and went all over the footpath and gutter. I better not serve them.

[loong]

Rural Thai - "I need to open this tin of condensed milk. We actually have a kitchen tool specially designed to do just that so I won't destroy yet another knife trying to open it."

[xthAi76s]

Street vendor:

My supply of fishballs spilled and went all over the footpath and gutter. I better not serve them.

Please, say it ain't so!! Better yet, I should not think about how often it happens. Ignorance is bliss.

[loong]

Thai workman - "This bolt is a bit of a tight fit. I'd better go and get a hammer or block of wood and gently tap it in. I certainly won't start bashing it with the expensive adjustable wrench that I have borrowed from the Farang"

[loong]

Thai workman with a broken hand - " I need to knock in this nail and the hammer is 6 paces away. I will walk the 6 paces and get the hammer and not try to knock it in with this rock just because it is right next to me"

[Payboy]

At the buffet - I'm going to go back to my table and finish this first before standing around looking at what I haven't yet piled-up on to my plate.

[xthAi76s]

Anybody Anywhere in Thailand:

"Wow, the internet is pretty fast here. Especially to reach content outside the country."