I have been to Thailand a good few times.

I have tried to learn as much as I can about the country its history, culture, politics etc.

I understand the concept of "face" and that most Thai's believe that all "farang" have endless amounts of money.

I have a question...

I have a sort of Thai g/f...I believe i'm "wanjai 99"...(hoping to be promoted to number 95 soon )

When i visit her...She without fail, invites her sisters or friends to come with us for lunch, dinner etc and I of course always pay.

The amounts of money are pretty insignifcant, but I'm just trying to understand her more...

Is she just helping her family and friends have a nice meal, one which they could never usually afford? Is she gaining face for herself and for me? Or is she just taking the p**s?

Or most likley, a combination of all the above?

Thoughts and comments most appreciated.

all of the above

That was quick

Concur

Face

impressing

showing off

all of the above

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Yepp all the above

That was quick

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We're always helpful at TV....

I concur get used to it - very common to have invitee(s) along when you are out with your gf. Somehow it also includes my mates gfs when I'm about too and they aren't in country.

Never happend to me!

Actually all the time they wanted to invite me...

I concur get used to it - very common to have invitee(s) along when you are out with your gf. Somehow it also includes my mates gfs when I'm about too and they aren't in country.

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Never happend to me!

Actually all the time they wanted to invite me...

I concur get used to it - very common to have invitee(s) along when you are out with your gf. Somehow it also includes my mates gfs when I'm about too and they aren't in country.

happened to me....but I made sure that the restaurant was not top of the bill, cost me 1300 baht to feed 11 of them.....next trip in, I stayed at their house for free and they shouted KFC at a cost of 450 baht....all square me thinks.

Razell, good on you for making a point of trying to find out about/understand Thai ways. I tend to go along with most of what of the others have already said - except that I'd say "varying amounts of all of the above" depending on individuals.

I got used to getting evening calls from my "sort of" Thai b/f asking me if I was coming to join him at XYZ bar - code for "OK for me to start drinking and putting it on your tab which I'm about to start?" (along with a friend or two and made easier by the fact that we're usually on Sang Som whiskey with mixers - so it's more the Thai custom of sharing the bottle as opposed to buying separate drinks). I know his circle from previous visits and they know me - along with the fact that I'm mostly happy to include others in our "good time".......... up to a point.

Emphasis on "mostly" and "up to a point" - they've come to know that I won't say "yes" to just anything anytime (so don't start asking for imported beers and margaritas etc). Remember those three little words - "up to you" . It is up to you to decide where to draw the line and let them know that there is one - and you can do it (at least when it's something ongoing rather than a one-off situation) while maintaining respect and without looking mean. My take is that many better-off Thai do the same unless it's where they feel the need to show off their wealth for status etc.

I think you're right that many Thai start with the assumption that the farang has unlimited funds - until they're told otherwise. Start as you mean to go on. Leeches will soon go elsewhere and decent Thai's will respect your right to agree or not - and to choose the level of place you're taking them out to. Though I can see it's not on to turn someone away when they've just turned up self-invited for the outing..........

I have been to Thailand a good few times.

I have tried to learn as much as I can about the country its history, culture, politics etc.

I understand the concept of "face" and that most Thai's believe that all "farang" have endless amounts of money.

I have a question...

I have a sort of Thai g/f...I believe i'm "wanjai 99"...(hoping to be promoted to number 95 soon )

When i visit her...She without fail, invites her sisters or friends to come with us for lunch, dinner etc and I of course always pay.

The amounts of money are pretty insignifcant, but I'm just trying to understand her more...

Is she just helping her family and friends have a nice meal, one which they could never usually afford? Is she gaining face for herself and for me? Or is she just taking the p**s?

Or most likley, a combination of all the above?

Thoughts and comments most appreciated.

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She is basically telling you what she really thinks of you, or doesn't...

shes showing U off to her mates.. I wouldnt worry about it

The best part is when one of the party looks at the bill of 1700 baht for 5 ( that they are not paying ) and says " thats not bad .. cheap really "

So Noel...what does she think of me ?

Razzell - could be worse when you think about it, majority eat/like thai food only. (very cheap, compared to western food)

The best part is when one of the party looks at the bill of 1700 baht for 5 ( that they are not paying ) and says " thats not bad .. cheap really " 

Love it!

It's really not about the money . It is a good time , to be had by all . If I can bring a smile and or a full stomach to someone , it makes me happy that I can .

The oldest person at the table pays. The most important or wealthiest person can be interchanged for this position as well. Some people say though that in situations where you're at a table where most are of the same age, importance, or weath, it's the idiot who reaches for his/her wallet first.

So Noel...what does she think of me ?

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How would I know? I do not know if I have met her and discussed you.

To give yourself an inkling, the next time she sets you up as her pet ATM, tell her you are short of ready cash so everyone must pay for themselves.

Then, just gauge her reaction as you get ready for the sparks...