The Old Guys Are Funny

[farang000999]

I am in my twenties, a young man of sorts, yet my wife and child exhaust me. They are quite expensive and require an incredible amount of time and energy. For example, planning our vacation to Thailand and I require one carry on bag, they will require 4-5 checked bags (approximately 250lbs of stuff). When I first came to Thailand I had just a bag and a studio apartment and was the happiest man alive. I was always prepared a moments notice to walk away with all of my possessions. Now the thing that I find curious is how many older fathers/husbands there are. You have men well into their 50's and 60's and perhaps older, starting a family for a second time and it seems to me frankly that you would have to be out of your dam_n mind. While it seems that very few men can go an entire lifetime of being single and we are drawn towards marriage and raising families, once will definitely be enough for me. I am quite jealous of single men. You have a gigantic world at your disposal and can live so cheaply and freely? Is the loneliness that bad that it sends a very large percentage of men into the arms of another woman who can be his boss?

[theblether]

It's called companionship.......many men ( I would say myself included ) love companionship and the feeling of doing something for the greater good. There are some excellent older fathers all over the world and many excellent relationships too.

So if you you can see past the cynical view and see the reality that relationships can work for older gents then that would be a start. You've given me a chance to tell my favourite story about Thailand, and I can't remember if I have told it before so forgive me if you have seen it before.

My first trip to Thailand was Feb 2008, I had done a business deal and I was taken on holiday to Pattaya as a bonus. I was reluctant to go as I had heard all the usual nonsense about Thailand, but being Scottish I couldn't see the holiday go to waste.

I duly turned up at the hotel opposite Wonderful Bar 2 and you can imagine I was blown away with my first sight of Pattaya. The first afternoon there was live entertainment in the bar, so I wandered across and sat down on one of the stools. There was an older English guy doing his turn, and he had a good voice.

Once he finished he came to over my way and mentioned I had blagged his seat, I skipped up one and he sat with me. He asked me if it was my first time in Thailand, he must have smelled the newness off me. I said it was and to cut a long story short he launched into this story. If he is reading this, I hope he knows the impression he made on me.

" I was 59 and living in London when I lost my wife, I couldn't handle it, I loved that woman so much. For 18 months I was like a zombie, going to work, coming home, drinking by myself every night and just wanting it all to end, I was so miserable. My daughter kept pleading with me to get on with my life, but my life died with my wife. One day my daughter came into the house with my best friend, they had bought me a holiday to Thailand to try and get me out of my shell. I refused to go, no way I could contemplate going on holiday, it would be a betrayal of the memory of my wife, how could I enjoy myself?

My daughter burst into tears, and I relented, I was a miserable sod but now I was hurting my kids too. The day came for me to fly to Thailand and never was there a more reluctant tourist than me, all the way over I didn't want to be going on holiday, I was betraying my wife. I got to Pattaya and I was miserable, angry with myself for agreeing to come and the first day I was a nightmare, by day two I was starting to relax a little bit, and by day three I was starting to enjoy myself.

By the time the two weeks were over I went home and my daughter was ecstatic, she could see happiness in me, as she had already lost her Mum, and she felt she lost her Dad that day too. It was all I could do but get to work, save up and get back out again.

He went on to say.............The first girlfriend you get in Thailand is always the hardest to get rid of, you end up entrapped and unsure and that was a nightmare for me. Eventually it all ended, and I took up with another lady that didn't work out either, and it went on until I met my lady here.

I retired from my job, moved over here and got married, my best pal did the same thing and two other friends have moved here too. We all stay in the same villa, we get up at about 10.00am and go for a swim, the wives make brunch, we sit and eat together, and we all take off in different directions for the afternoon. Today I'm here because I love a sing song, my wife here is a sweetheart ( I would say she was about 54, and the gent I was talking to would be about 67 at the time ), and she looks after me so well.

He went on to say..........

" I would give all this up right now for my wife, I loved that woman so much, I would give up everything to be with her again........I thought my life was over when my wife died, but Thailand has given me a second chance at life............"

I hope that gentleman is still going strong and still loving life in Pattaya, and I bet you there are many men reading this and recognizing a bit of themselves in it........I think that was one of the best phrases I have ever heard in my life.

" Thailand has given me a second chance at life "

Edited March 25, 2012 by theblether

[travelmann]

Having kids is a massive time consuming all encompassing job, its all too easy to bang away at someone to get them pregnant with no thought for the result.

Im 48 I have never had kids, until I was 41 I had always been single never married never really thought about it although a fetish at Junior school with an Asian girl (Naihala Lasharie where are you) may have been the root cause of me marrying an Asian later?.

At 41 I married my wife within a year of knowing her, mainly as she was honest.

Due to workand being sensible we have been unable to have any children but always said we would, Im now 48 and still no kids BUT after this year if we are able hopefully we plan to try and have one, I dont expect miracles and if it doesnt happen it just doesnt happen. My wife is 36 now.

Being as Thailand makes it difficult for me to work here I will be bringing up junior whilst my wife keeps working as her salary is very good and it would be crazy for her to stop earning in a country with no pensions for most.

I fully expect it to be hard work but rewarding, I do worry I wont be able to "keep up" but at least the financial side is secure and another reason we havent had any kids before.

we saved and bought land and are building the house which is where most of the money has gone as well as developing her business.

Before the moaners come in, yes thanks I do have other houses in the UK and various other investments and all my money is not tied up in Thailand.

[damo]

I can fully understand what the O.P is saying. I think the benefit the older guys have is that they dont need to balance work/family like someone like myself as they are probably retired anyway. One of the big reasons for me wanting to come and live in Thailand ( and its something that has never interested me before) is that I can let my wife work and I stay home and do the househusband bit for a change. Its a big motivator to be able to do that, Im 37.

[henryalleman]

I moved to Thailand when I retired I was married with for 33 years with a wonderfull Sino/Thai lady, we did not have children of our own, may wife had 3 before we married, They all stayed in Thailand and finished their education here. All of them have University degrees an a good job.

My wife passed away only 4 months after we moved to Thailand. Not to long after that I had my first Thai girlfriend. Wonderful lady and an verry successful businesswoman,(Sino/Thai) but things didn't work out, no one to blame. After that I really tried to enjoyed my freedom, had a lot of flings with many different women, all career-women (all Sino/Thai) between 40 an 46(hey I'm over 60). After a while I realised that this was not really fulfilling.

So I met my present girlfriend (Sino/Thai) career-woman(44 at the time) never married and no children, at first we spend the weekends together, later she moved in . Now after a 2 year relationship we decide to get married this year.

We just want to be happy together, that's all. I become 64 this year and my future wife 47. And it may surprise you, my deceased wife children and family still regard me as family, and my future wife is 100 % accepted by them as a full member of their family. Needles to say, I never been happier in my life.

Why I always had have relationships with Sino/Thai ladies, well simply, its seems I feel the most comfortable with them, and being married for 33 years with one, maybe its because there is no culture gap.

PS: I live in BKK and in my 37 years LOS experience I never went to Pattaya, Patpong, Nana or soi Cowboy. maybe that's why I don't know that waterbuffalo's can get sick, or grandma or grandpa needs urgent surgery.55555

[trainman34014]

In 1985 I was 35 and had 5 kids from 2 wives; the first died of Cancer at only 26. After the fifth was born I decided that was enough as the cost of bringing up kids and running a home, even then, was horrific,even though I had a much better job with a higher salary than most people I knew.

After a chat with the second Mrs, who had had blood pressure problems with the last two babies and spent a considerable time in Hospital, off I went to a private Nursing Home to have a Vasectomy. 10 years later I was divorced and by 2000 I was looking to quit Blighty and find myself a decent place to retire to, hopefully meeting another woman of the right 'ilk'. I planned carefully and made many trips to China, Korea, Malaysia and Thailand, where I eventually met a professional woman I considered to be of the right type for me, and less than 20 years younger than me. We have been married since 2008 and we are settled in our own home and very happy. It's my personal idea of bliss and being married for the third time in my life matters not. I am very happy that I am not able to spawn any more children and my wife, who was a Widow for 9 years before we met, has never had the desire to start a family that would damage her career, so we had a lot of common thoughts when we met.

Sorry if none of this sounds like the kind of spontaneous 'love' that seems to be found in Thailand but I've always been a planner, rather than leave life to chance. Each to his own I guess.

[overherebc]

I can fully understand what the O.P is saying. I think the benefit the older guys have is that they dont need to balance work/family like someone like myself as they are probably retired anyway. One of the big reasons for me wanting to come and live in Thailand ( and its something that has never interested me before) is that I can let my wife work and I stay home and do the househusband bit for a change. Its a big motivator to be able to do that, Im 37.

The one thing that crosses my mind is the obvious number of older guys, 55+, that I see with, dare I go down this road,? a much younger ,in their 20's wife and the new baby. I really hope they have thought about putting a kid through school in 10 to 15 years time when they themselves are mid to late 60's bearing in mind the cost and effort that will be involved and , in my opinion, should be relaxing and enjoying older age.

I don't have kids, never had, my wife is the same and we are very much looking forward to having an easy time with only ourselves to worry about.

Bring on the cries of , just being selfish etc,, been listening to them for years.

I know everything in life is a choice and people can generally do whatever they want with regards to marraige and having kids. I just get the feeling sometime that some of the older guys have kids just to prove to whoever that they are still men, without any thought to the future, I have been told by others in the UK that I haven't proved I'm man yet because I've never had children..

[pattayadingo]

How old is old?

To someone like the OP I may appear old because I am in my mid 50's yet at heart I feel nothing like 50+. I love to be out and about, love seeing live music, having a few beers or simply relaxing when it suits me. I can travel where I want and I can live where i want.

Yet there is something often missing and that is companionship. I have my friends but friends cannot give me that something extra that a female companion can give. Affection and tenderness are not only for the young. Babies and marriage are not only for the young either. There are some genuine relationships here between older men and Thai women. Some have families. Best of to them if they are happy.

Personally i would not dream of having a baby (ies) with a woman now. i have been there and done that in a 20+ year marriage. I gave up my freedom(s) to help raise my children. Now I have my freedom back and i am happy with that.

Out of their minds? Why should you think these older men are out of their minds when they may well have everything they have longed for for many years?

Yet again you have people trying to tell us older folk what we should do, think and say. HEY, listen up!! We have been there and done most of it already. Don't you think many of us know our own minds!! Leave us alone and let us continue with our lives and to maybe make more mistakes along the way. It is OUR lives and our money to spend as we wish.

You get on with your life and troubles. I for one am relatively happy.

[kurnell]

Kids are a major pain in the arse. I have 2 and they cost me a fortune. Get yourself a maid or 2 is my advise. And an ipod touch, a TV with lots of cartoons and get them into nursery as soon as they are 2. Otherwise you will die an early death.

[kerryk]

I got kids and ex wives all over the place. New ones keep popping up. I remember the first time I took my daughters to meet a new family outside of the country. It was a fun vacation and to their credit my girls handled each other well. Now they make jokes about it and ask me every couple of years if they have any new relatives.

I have also noted this other phenomena called paying for children that aren’t yours. I don’t know if this has happened to anyone else here but it has happened to me a couple of times. Now that’s a corker when the child realizes for some reason, she actually has a different father than she thought she had for 30 years. The child is very angry. I don’t know why she is angry at me, it was her mom who got the other guy involved. But child sent both me and mom an email advising us to burn in hell.

[theoldgit]

I think theblether has summed it up in one word "companionship", and he passes on a lovely story.

I was married to an English lady for nearly 40 years, we both had good jobs, she with the Met Police and me with the Home office, I spent a lot of time on the road travelling the length and breadth of the UK, including flying in and out of Glasgow at least once a month, as a result we spent very little time together and grew apart, as retirement grew nearer a cloud drifted over me, quite honestly I was dreading it.

I stopped off in Bangkok for a few days on the way back from Vietnam, I was vulnerable (that's my excuse) and I fell for the first girl who fluttered her eyes at me. To cut a long story short we married, built a nice house south of Bangkok, I retired and moved to Thailand. Living happily ever after was not in her game plan, and after less than a month I walked away, I was scared for my life.

I could either go back to the UK with my tail between my legs and start again, I could move to Pattaya and prop up a bar stool, or I could rebuild my life here in Bangkok, I decided on the latter. I met a lovely girl, via an Internet dating site, and we have lived together for nearly five years, we have a great life, she holds down a good job and I manage to get a bit of consultancy work from the UK as well as some pro-bono work for a NGO here in Thailand.

Life if full of what and ifs, if my wife and I had not grown apart I would not have been on a Saga holiday in Vietnam, if I hadn't been on the Saga holiday I wouldn't have been suckered in by the young Thai woman, if I hadn't had been suckered in by the young Thai woman I wouldn't have retired to Thailand, if the marriage hadn't gone tits up I wouldn't have met "ting tong". So here I am as happy as can be, I wouldn't change anything, even the route life took me. My ex wife and I remain friends, she has remarried and is enjoying her life as well.

So yes, companionship is very important, as theblether's friend has shown.

[Daewoo]

haasip haasip on this one...

I'm 38 with 3 boys 7,5,3...

When I was 25 there is no way I was stable enough personally for kids... too much to do with my life, and never enough time... no way I was up for being at home most nights, responsibility, and the workload that kids bring... but I had lots of energy, never needing to sleep more than a few hours a night before backing up and doing all the crazy things again...

At 38 I am more balanced, but still have a pretty active life outside the family... but kinda feel like I live on Caffeine

at 50, I can't imagine that I will still be out drinking and chasing a good time the way I am now, and will have even more 'free time' for family pursuits...

The flipside is that I am becoming a grumpy old man... much less tolerant of bad behaviour... much higher expectations of my wife than 10 years ago...

haasip/haasip on whether there is a right age...

Edited March 26, 2012 by Daewoo

[IanForbes]

am in my twenties, a young man of sorts, yet my wife and child exhaust me. They are quite expensive and require an incredible amount of time and energy. For example, planning our vacation to Thailand and I require one carry on bag, they will require 4-5 checked bags (approximately 250lbs of stuff). When I first came to Thailand I had just a bag and a studio apartment and was the happiest man alive. I was always prepared a moments notice to walk away with all of my possessions. Now the thing that I find curious is how many older fathers/husbands there are. You have men well into their 50's and 60's and perhaps older, starting a family for a second time and it seems to me frankly that you would have to be out of your dam_n mind. While it seems that very few men can go an entire lifetime of being single and we are drawn towards marriage and raising families, once will definitely be enough for me. I am quite jealous of single men. You have a gigantic world at your disposal and can live so cheaply and freely? Is the loneliness that bad that it sends a very large percentage of men into the arms of another woman who can be his boss?

That is a good, well thought out post, OP.

I AM that old guy, but I sure am not getting married again. I've ALREADY done the family thing and have no intention of doing it again. I am VERY happy that I had and have a family and grandkids, but starting over is not something I would wish on any older person. You could offer me any amount of money if I got married again... and I would refuse. My freedom is worth more than any amount of money. Yes, I know I have turned down many opportunities with absolutely stunning younger women, but who wants to be restricted to trying to make someone ELSE happy?

Being happy is a personal CHOICE, just as being unhappy is also a choice. Why restrict yourself when freedom awaits? I choose to be happy and enjoy every day of my life. Even on the bad days there is something to rejoice about. I can see some good in even bad events.

However, everyone wants something different in life and who am I to tell someone else how to enjoy what they want. Some guys just aren't happy without a mother to take care of them. Some men just never had a chance to be with someone young and beautiful, and it can be intoxicating when it happens in the later stages of your life. That happened to me in Canda with my second wife. I was smitten by her beauty. She was 40 and I was 50. The marriage lasted 7 years and I wouldn't give up the first 5 years of that marriage for anything. In the later stages when her son got into drugs it tore our marriage apart. But, she actually did me a favour by leaving and giving me my freedom back. I would never go back to being married again.

Edit to add... Great story, theblether. I can see a similarity to my story. When the lady I loved walked out on me and left me with her 22 year old druggy son, I also thought my life had ended... until I woke up and started to enjoy myself again. A friend talked me into coming to Thailand and I reluctantly agreed. It changed my life for the better and I've never looked back. I did the usual Pattaya thing until I got bored and started expanding my horizons. I am forever thankful for that friend.

Edited March 26, 2012 by IanForbes

[billd766]

I really am that older guy at 67.

I have a son of 34 in the UK and a grandson of nearly one plus an ex wife.

I have known my Thai wife for nearly 19 years and we have a son of nearly 8.

I have been around a few years and done most things and by the time my first son wy sent me to Thaialnas 10 I was working 60 or 70 hours a week, getting home after he was in bed and leaving before he got up.

By the time he was 18 I had been working offshore for 5 years and only going home to the UK 3 times a year, always for his birthday, Xmas and the New Year and the school summer holidays.

My company sent me to Thailand but my marriage was dying before that.

We separated in 1997 and divorced in 1999 and I remarried in 2000.

Our Thai son came along completely as a surprise in 2004, (I was 60 and my wife 39) and I was still working offshore though not so much until 2009 when I retired completely.

Yes our son is an expense that we had not even thought about but none the less I have never regretted a single moment of his life though he did, as his half brother did, puke, pee and crap over me when he was a baby.

Now I have more time and much more patience as there is not a lot of stress in my life any more and I am not working 50, 60 or 70 hours a week in some crfap country where part of the population wants to kill me just because I am there.

I am a little deaf at the moment as he and a few friends are playing and shouting in the paddling pool outside.

To those of you who are young and sort of write us wrinklies off I have but one thing to say.

If you haven't tried or experienced it don't knock it or us.

We HAVE been there and remember LG.

Lifes Good and children keep you young.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I raised my first set of kids starting at 19 years old.

My second batch starting at 45.

Yes it's a full-life committment, but I haven't found any other aspect of life - e.g. professional, recreational - to be as fullfilling and rewarding.

The kids are the light of my life, I may have made mistakes in my life, but they sure aren't included in the list.

[Gary A]

When I got divorced, the one thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want a second family. I got a vasectomy and have never regretted it. It then took me ten years to find a wife who I thought could put up with me. After about eight years with her, it appears that I made a good choice.

[maccaroni man]

IMO Kurnell post #9 is for the most part spot on, a maid makes having children at an older age or any age for that matter much easier. when we lived in Bali we had 3 on samui only one but she cooks, cleans, plays with the kids, and manages the house which means all i need to do is be a loving dad and husband.

[elliss]

i am one of the old guys and,

having played enough of the bra,s

having played enough of the internet dating sites { 90 per cent of which are gold diggers]

what i now need in later life, is a compatible companion , with mutual interests etc, easier said than done.

i just cant be arsed about with the scammers anymore, the more of them you suss out

the easier it gets , to kick em out .

as for marrriage and kids ,no thanks.

i dont want the risk of losing half my finances again, also losing my choices / options ,freedom .

ok , you may think i am being selfish , but once bitten twice shy .

congrats , and good luck to you guys who have found your promised loved one.

[macksview]

first wife (farang), a nightmare, 2 children with her, 2nd wife (farang), the love of my life, no children, career woman, dead at 40, vicious cancer.

3rd wife(issan girl), an angel, the best decision i have made for a considerable length of time, she wants children.

me, i think, i am great with children (5 grandchildren), many thai cousins children, and though i am putting up a fight to have a child (not whole heartedly), i am sure i will do it, it seems to give many men the chance to do it properly the next time, experience and all that.

yes, i miss, the experience of being able to travel, with just a bag, no one else to worry about, if anything turns to custard.

[oldgent]

great story from The Blether. wonderfullbar 2 my favourie bar in all of Pattaya, i can relate to the story simular to mine wife dying. but it wasnt my daughter who sent me to thailand, quite the opposite it was my young work mates . yes done all the stuff with the Issian girl, im in a loving relationship with a beautifull girl much younger than myself who comes from a very respectable family. marriage is being disscssed at the moment but doing it for a 2nd time is giving me food for though. she has 2 young boys from a previous relationship with a Thai man. and yes its very expensive school fees etc... my daughter and her family dont talk or even bother with me because of this, but thats her choice. i have been coming to Thailand from 2007 and have met some great characters the stories they told were fantastic. hey maybe we have seen one another in Wonderfullbar 2,

[geriatrickid]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

[macksview]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

you are right with your post, so it is something that must be considered by all potential older dads/parents, hopefully ultrasound and whatever else they do these days will find obvious major problems.

[villagefarang]

I have yet to meet anyone who took my chosen route through life. Came to Thailand in my early 20s. Had an amazing single life until I married at 45. No kids, no ex-wives, no debts, no problems and now an amazing wife 20 years my junior who is my best friend. Young or old and can’t see having kids and I certainly wouldn’t want to spend my twilight years changing diapers. There is just too much to enjoy and experience in life, to be tied down with a family in my opinion. Now companionship is a different story.

[Fookhaht]

I got kids and ex wives all over the place. New ones keep popping up.....

....The child is very angry. I don’t know why she is angry at me, it was her mom who got the other guy involved. But child sent both me and mom an email advising us to burn in hell.

Looks like a reaping/sowing scenario. Or at least a bit of Karma created by the poster.

[kerryk]

I got kids and ex wives all over the place.  New ones keep popping up.....

....The child is very angry.  I don’t know why she is angry at me, it was her mom who got the other guy involved.  But child sent both me and mom an email advising us to burn in hell.

Looks like a reaping/sowing scenario.  Or at least a bit of Karma created by the poster.

Yea, I paid child support for 15 years because my wife had an affair while I was in the Army. Bad Karma I guess.

[MAJIC]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

Well my 5 year old daughter is one of the most intelligent children I have ever come across (yes! I know, I would say that,her Teachers also confirm her intelligence.) so at an older age,it may be that in some way,some extra intelligence also gets passed on through genes, and from my observations in Thailand,Farang / Thai children,do seem to be particularly intelligent,obvious not a Scientific study though,which would also apply to other physical genetically related problems.

[theblether]

Thanks very much to those that have commented and enjoyed the story. I've been in Thailand 12 times since 2008 and I think it was fate that I met that gentleman on my first afternoon. I had arrived with all my preconceived notions and he gently knocked them all right out of me.

I spend the majority of my holidays now in Chiang Mai and the North, however I'm contemplating going to Pattaya for Songkran. If I do I'll make myself known to oldgent at Wonderful Bar 2, but he'll have to keep it a secret as there is still a contingent of Pattaya OAP's after my blood. ( see previous threads about UK pension rights ).

Anyway, the story is not mine, the story is that of a man who loved and lost and was lost. Now he has found a new life and he is the better for it, and so is his family. All I had to do was listen, learn and remember.

The Op will find that as he travels through life circumstances have a habit of changing unexpectedly, the trick is to have the ability to adapt, accept, and get on with it. Pattayadingo did, Ianforbes did, and many other people who have contributed to this thread or are reading it did.

If you will indulge me with a combination of two of the most famous Scottish sayings, ( I'll be nice, I'll translate them into English )

The best laid plans of mice and men go wrong................but if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

[GreenSnapper]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

Well my 5 year old daughter is one of the most intelligent children I have ever come across (yes! I know, I would say that,her Teachers also confirm her intelligence.) so at an older age,it may be that in some way,some extra intelligence also gets passed on through genes, and from my observations in Thailand,Farang / Thai children,do seem to be particularly intelligent,obvious not a Scientific study though,which would also apply to other physical genetically related problems.

Don't worry, the theory that older men have bad sperms, is just another Western myth, created by some journalists and fuzzy research.

The by far biggest danger for the mental health of a child is the "single mother" who prevents the child to have any contact to the father. Thus the "modern, free, empowered woman".

[MAJIC]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

Well my 5 year old daughter is one of the most intelligent children I have ever come across (yes! I know, I would say that,her Teachers also confirm her intelligence.) so at an older age,it may be that in some way,some extra intelligence also gets passed on through genes, and from my observations in Thailand,Farang / Thai children,do seem to be particularly intelligent,obvious not a Scientific study though,which would also apply to other physical genetically related problems.

Don't worry, the theory that older men have bad sperms, is just another Western myth, created by some journalists and fuzzy research.

The by far biggest danger for the mental health of a child is the "single mother" who prevents the child to have any contact to the father. Thus the "modern, free, empowered woman".

Very good point. Far from making Fathers obsolete as many extremist/ Feminists are pushing for,there should be a massive reversal of this long term trend,to prevent this mindless' hateful' struggle for power. Nature has given children a Mother and Father for a very good reason ..... the children need both,to grow up well adjusted. But this is very large Topic in its own right.

[F1fanatic]

I suppose this will draw the ire of some, the offspring of older people tend to demonstrate more genetically related problems than do younger people. The ability of DNA and genes to repair themselves falls off as we age. I recognize that many of the older men will have younger wives. However, the deterioration does have an impact. (My father was over 40 when I was born, so perhaps that explains my diseased mind )

Well my 5 year old daughter is one of the most intelligent children I have ever come across (yes! I know, I would say that,her Teachers also confirm her intelligence.) so at an older age,it may be that in some way,some extra intelligence also gets passed on through genes, and from my observations in Thailand,Farang / Thai children,do seem to be particularly intelligent,obvious not a Scientific study though,which would also apply to other physical genetically related problems.

Don't worry, the theory that older men have bad sperms, is just another Western myth, created by some journalists and fuzzy research.

The by far biggest danger for the mental health of a child is the "single mother" who prevents the child to have any contact to the father. Thus the "modern, free, empowered woman".

Very good point. Far from making Fathers obsolete as many extremist/ Feminists are pushing for,there should be a massive reversal of this long term trend,to prevent this mindless' hateful' struggle for power. Nature has given children a Mother and Father for a very good reason ..... the children need both,to grow up well adjusted. But this is very large Topic in its own right.

I'm missing something here... Which "extremist/Feminists" are pushing to make fathers obsolete?