Wonderful English From Around The World

[Robby nz]

In a Bangkok Temple:

IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.

Cocktail lounge in Norway:

LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

Doctor's office in Rome:

SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Dry cleaners in Bangkok:

DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.

In a Nairobi restaurant:

CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE, OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:

ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.

In a city restaurant:

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.

In a cemetery:

PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.

Tokyo hotel rules and regulations:

GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE, OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

In a Tokyo bar:

SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.

In a Hotel in Yugoslavia:

THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE, IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

A Hotel in Japan:

YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

In the lobby of a Moscow Hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox Monastery:

YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET

COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE

OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE

TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE.

A Hotel in Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS

PURPOSE.

An advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

At an Airline ticket office in Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

In a Laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND THEN SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

And finally:

Seen in an Abu Dhabi Souk shop window:

IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED, PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.

[IMA_FARANG]

A Hotel in Zurich:

BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX

IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS

PURPOSE.

------------------------

Notice I once saw in a hotel in a Muslim part of Malaysia:

Unmarried Male guests are strictly prohibited from entertaining single women in their rooms.

The hotel management has therefore provided a place in the reception area for that purpose.

And then this little gem.

There used to be a shoe firm from China...that firm is now sadly defunct.

Their name...the cleaned up version...was Nussy Shoes.

Except the first letter was a P.

Their advertising slogan...again the cleaned up version....was

Nothing fits as well as a well made Nussey....referring to their shoes, of course.

[overherebc]

_{Going to China soon ?}

TANJOOBERRYMUTTS.doc

[TomTao]

I laughed so hard my ribs hurt.

[khaowong1]

Very very funny, thanks for the laugh.

[steve down under]

Fanu belly mush I rike belly mush you ingriss sends ov hughmore :-)

[Thaddeus]

Sign in makro last year.