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Yet Another Sinsod Question

irlguy1

By irlguy1
in Marriage and Divorce

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irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
Posted

I plan on getting married in September but we have both decided to hold off on the party/Thai wedding until the following year when all her family can attend.

My question is this..

Should I pay Sinsod now or at the party?

Please no comments on whether I should or should not pay. I am happy to do it and its not a big amount.I wasn't badgered into it.

I just want to know what would be the opinion of the forum on the when not the why.

Thanks

ShanePashen Advanced Member

ShanePashen

Posted
Posted

Hi

I don't know enough about Thai culture to answer your question.

I'm sure others here will.

But I am curious to find out.

What was the process of arriving at a figure, I won't ask how much.

And what part of the country did your wife come from.

At what point in your relationship was the subject raised.

brit1984 Platinum Member

brit1984

Posted
Posted

If you pay now the money may well be forgotten or spent by the time of wedding party

I think the main reason for sin sod nowadays is for the family to show it off at the wedding party so I doubt they will mind to wait

However, as with all questions about sin sod, it is difficult to make generalisations

For example, the family may have some reason not to trust you to pay later; or pay me unfamiliar with the concept of "buy now, pay later"

I recommend you sit down with your partner and her family and agree payment terms so that everyone is happy

David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

Hi

I don't know enough about Thai culture to answer your question.

I'm sure others here will.

But I am curious to find out.

What was the process of arriving at a figure, I won't ask how much.

And what part of the country did your wife come from.

At what point in your relationship was the subject raised.

Sigh ... coffee1.gif

ShanePashen, why do you ask to be spoon fed EVERYTHING?

A pinned Topic here (directly above this Thread as I write) is

sin-sod-an-explanation ... with 39,539 views ... but obviously not yours.

You know I (and others) try and help you ... but stop being so frigging lazy and do your own research.

Apologies to the OP for this small diversion.

bangkokburning Platinum Member

bangkokburning

Posted
Posted

Exactly as Mario has stated, it will be waved around like a flag during the ceremony. If you pay now, they may "forget" whistling.gifgiggle.gif

I hope you are not paying:

second marriage

bar girl

with child

more than 60K

Unless ss is a done deal, you might think about gifting rather than cash. Poor people with a cash windfall and all that...

2unique Gold Member

2unique

Posted
Posted
Exactly as Mario has stated, it will be waved around like a flag during the ceremony. If you pay now, they may "forget" whistling.gifgiggle.gif

I hope you are not paying:

second marriage

bar girl

with child

more than 60K

Unless ss is a done deal, you might think about gifting rather than cash. Poor people with a cash windfall and all that...

But isn't the going rate 1 million baht now?!?

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Exactly as Mario has stated, it will be waved around like a flag during the ceremony. If you pay now, they may "forget" whistling.gifgiggle.gif

I hope you are not paying:

second marriage

bar girl

with child

more than 60K

Unless ss is a done deal, you might think about gifting rather than cash. Poor people with a cash windfall and all that...

"Please no comments on whether I should or should not pay. I am happy to do it and its not a big amount.I wasn't badgered into it."

Always one :)

  • Like 2
cardholder Platinum Member

cardholder

Posted
Posted (edited)

Exactly as Mario has stated, it will be waved around like a flag during the ceremony. If you pay now, they may "forget" whistling.gifgiggle.gif

I hope you are not paying:

second marriage

bar girl

with child

more than 60K

Unless ss is a done deal, you might think about gifting rather than cash. Poor people with a cash windfall and all that...

"Please no comments on whether I should or should not pay. I am happy to do it and its not a big amount.I wasn't badgered into it."

Always one smile.png

I am not sure which is worse - someone paying sin sot who has "not been badgered into it" or someone paying sinsot who has been badgered into it.

Sin Sot - Just say "No"!

(note - my post is not directed to the OP who has asked for "no comments" on paying sin sot, it is a response to bangkokburning who has commented :) )

Edited by cardholder
  • Popular Post
Naam Star Member

Naam

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

But isn't the going rate 1 million baht now?!?

Sent from Android please excuse errors in type or judgement

the going rate has been raised recently to 5 million Baht, payable in gold-pressed Latinum.

Sent from planet Kronos on modulated subwave frequency. Please excuse any nonsense the message might contain.

  • Like 3
  • 2 weeks later...
letitbe Silver Member

letitbe

Posted
Posted

dont pay/for suckers only.

dont pay/for suckers only.

well I know plenty of Thais who pay it and my wifes best friends boyfriend paid 1 million baht and 20 baht of gold. Its nonsense to say suckers only and in many cases it comes back in one way or another. Around 20 years ago I paid 150,000 baht and 20 baht of gold and my wifes family is very poor. In last 20 years except for some extended family her mother has never asked for anything but I have gladly paid for her operations and we got around 80% of sinsod back when she did not have enough to pay for a major needed operation an hospital. The gold she gave 1/2 back straight after wedding. Before giving rest back all shed spent was 20% on a washing machine so she could earn money and a new fridge for her fags and booze corner shop

  • Like 2
ozzieovaseas Gold Member

ozzieovaseas

Posted
Posted

Escuse, but is this a troll?

Why would anyone pay Sinsod way in advance of being married? Especially in Thailand blink.png

and having access to pages upon pages of horror stories and rip offs.

I cannot believe anyone would have to ask this, but if you are for real then i would suggest mentioning this to your GF and her family.

Seriously any legit Thai family would not expect this ,suggest it or even allow it. What would be the point, as others have stated it is for show at the wedding, so if you gave it now then you'd only have to fork out another amount to show at the wedding as i will bet my left one that the money you will pay now will not be there later.

Ask your GF and family if they want you to pay this up front, now...if they say yes then start running.

I sometimes find it hard to believe that people get conned so easy but when you read stuff like this it really does make you wonder

..whats that saying about jesus weeping? sad.png

irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

No I am not a troll but thanks for your input.you may be right on paying before the wedding which is why I put the question out there but with regard to your follow up cynical rant well for thousands of years the father of a western bride paid the the wedding and that was all fine didn't hear anyone complain. Well this is Thai tradition and I don't have a problem honering it within reason to give a family some just standing in the community and it makes them happy. Which is a nice feeling.

  • Like 1
aussiebebe Gold Member

aussiebebe

Posted
Posted

I agree with the advice already offered; it should be made at the party, not in advance. I liked 'letibe's insight in terms of putting the payment into perspective; hospital bills and ageing in-laws are the biggest headache for any foreigner who has married a Thai.

  • Like 1
ozzieovaseas Gold Member

ozzieovaseas

Posted
Posted

Maybe I misworded my "rant" a little. I havent a problem with the sinsod issue itself , what i was saying was that no Thai family would/should expect the payment that far in advance of the actual wedding day.

My point being that if a family actually did agree to this idea of payment so far in advance i'd consider them to be up to no good.

Well sorry, I suppose i am being cynical in a way as i could imagine more than a few thai people receiving payment up front and then saying to the daughter "Well, no need to marry this guy now, this was so easy, lets just go and find another one and do it again"

  • Like 1
irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Maybe I misworded my "rant" a little. I havent a problem with the sinsod issue itself , what i was saying was that no Thai family would/should expect the payment that far in advance of the actual wedding day.

My point being that if a family actually did agree to this idea of payment so far in advance i'd consider them to be up to no good.

Well sorry, I suppose i am being cynical in a way as i could imagine more than a few thai people receiving payment up front and then saying to the daughter "Well, no need to marry this guy now, this was so easy, lets just go and find another one and do it again"

If u had actually properly read my post you would have noticed that they did not ask for anything let alone up front. It was me that asked so I could be better informed as to when to pay if they asked.

Thanks

473geo Ruby Member

473geo

Posted
Posted

Are you having a Thai ceremony in the home in September, or and a registration at the amphur, where are you getting married?

irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Are you having a Thai ceremony in the home in September, or and a registration at the amphur, where are you getting married?

The plan is for a registration in Bangkok in September then the Thai ceremony the following Songkran in her villiage when all her family can be together with us.

473geo Ruby Member

473geo

Posted
Posted (edited)

Are you having a Thai ceremony in the home in September, or and a registration at the amphur, where are you getting married?

The plan is for a registration in Bangkok in September then the Thai ceremony the following Songkran in her villiage when all her family can be together with us.

Based on your agenda, in my opinion, there is no reason at all to 'show' or handover the sinsod until the village party - enjoy

Edited by 473geo
  • Like 1
irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Are you having a Thai ceremony in the home in September, or and a registration at the amphur, where are you getting married?

The plan is for a registration in Bangkok in September then the Thai ceremony the following Songkran in her villiage when all her family can be together with us.

Based on your agenda, in my opinion, there is no reason at all to 'show' or handover the sinsod until the village party - enjoy

Thanks for the input mate

althemighty Explorer Member

althemighty

Posted
Posted

I have the same situation. Registered marriage in april as I needed to apply for visa but planned to do wedding party in december. After we got back to the village her whole familiy was at her house to witness the dowry. Had to tell them that I was not paying until the wedding party. which made her parents lose face with the older generation. But they have no choice really. I would make sure her parents know you intent to do dowry at the wedding party to prevent any lose of face.

  • 1 month later...
cheeryble Platinum Member

cheeryble

Posted
Posted

Are you having a Thai ceremony in the home in September, or and a registration at the amphur, where are you getting married?

The plan is for a registration in Bangkok in September then the Thai ceremony the following Songkran in her villiage when all her family can be together with us.

What, pray, is the conceivable advantage in getting it registered?

RAZZELL Platinum Member

RAZZELL

Posted
Posted (edited)

What, pray, is the conceivable advantage in getting it registered?

Well, getting "registered" at the amphur makes it "legal" for a start! whistling.gif

RAZZ

Edited by RAZZELL
Mario2008 Star Member

Mario2008

Posted
Posted

The ceremony is nothing more then that and does not constitues a marriage. Only the registration, done at the ampur, is considered a legal marriage.

irlguy1 Advanced Member

irlguy1

Posted
  • Author
Posted

The ceremony is nothing more then that and does not constitues a marriage. Only the registration, done at the ampur, is considered a legal marriage.

Thanks for saving me the effort of explaining it :)

krisb Ruby Member

krisb

Posted
Posted

Hi

I don't know enough about Thai culture to answer your question.

I'm sure others here will.

But I am curious to find out.

What was the process of arriving at a figure, I won't ask how much.

And what part of the country did your wife come from.

At what point in your relationship was the subject raised.

Sigh ... coffee1.gif

ShanePashen, why do you ask to be spoon fed EVERYTHING?

A pinned Topic here (directly above this Thread as I write) is http://www.thaivisa....an-explanation/

sin-sod-an-explanation ... with 39,539 views ... but obviously not yours.

You know I (and others) try and help you ... but stop being so frigging lazy and do your own research.

Apologies to the OP for this small diversion.

coffee1.gifcheesy.gif

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