Trying To Show Generousity In A Corrupt Society

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Honestly, I don't either. But I'm keenly aware of how my wife acts when she is about to lose face. And she was going down that path. If I would have pressed it, it would have gotten ugly. I will not have that disharmony in my own house. I don't know how else to explain it.

What you should not allow is your wife to influence how you want to proceed, she is the source of the disharmony then you tell her to butt out.

Best is to not let your SO get involved in any transactions like this. Thais will of course want to deal with the Thai in the household even if she's just the maid, but you have to make it clear that you are the customer.

Any tradesman etc comes to my house before they set foot in the door I tell them to only talk to me, specifically say if any woman in the house wants to know what's going on, how much is he charging etc he's to keep his trap shut. The SOs get all pouty about it, tough luck here's 30 baht go get some som tam, go to the TV room and shut the door 'til we're all done.

Most important phrase to learn in Thai - "Mai geeow alai gap khun" none of your business.

Otherwise you're just letting your wife manipulate everything her way just by threatening to pull a hissy fit.

Now of course if you're the type to get yourself into deep doggy doo by blowing hard at the wrong guy, then you'll only have yourself to blame, dig yourself out with a shovel, might have been better off taking your cue from her, so YMMV.

[wana]

Honestly, I don't either. But I'm keenly aware of how my wife acts when she is about to lose face. And she was going down that path. If I would have pressed it, it would have gotten ugly. I will not have that disharmony in my own house. I don't know how else to explain it.

What you should not allow is your wife to influence how you want to proceed, she is the source of the disharmony then you tell her to butt out.

Best is to not let your SO get involved in any transactions like this. Thais will of course want to deal with the Thai in the household even if she's just the maid, but you have to make it clear that you are the customer.

Any tradesman etc comes to my house before they set foot in the door I tell them to only talk to me, specifically say if any woman in the house wants to know what's going on, how much is he charging etc he's to keep his trap shut. The SOs get all pouty about it, tough luck here's 30 baht go get some som tam, go to the TV room and shut the door 'til we're all done.

Most important phrase to learn in Thai - "Mai geeow alai gap khun" none of your business.

Otherwise you're just letting your wife manipulate everything her way just by threatening to pull a hissy fit.

Now of course if you're the type to get yourself into deep doggy doo by blowing hard at the wrong guy, then you'll only have yourself to blame, dig yourself out with a shovel, might have been better off taking your cue from her, so YMMV.

As long as the deal is between me and the seller guy ,i dont mind having a translator present and it does help

more often than it doesnt

but i make no bones about my offer and the conditions of it

i wasnt raised in a culture of polite fake smiles so when i want to buy something i am direct and dont waste much time

i asscess the deal ,decide whats its worth to me and offer him 80% of that figure i have come up with

take out the cash and count it ,works really well with 2nd hand motorcycles and cars

most sellers will buckle when your putting a big wad of cash in their hand so quickly and easily

if he says no ,start putting the money away and preparing to leave

(at this stage they often try to pressure the thai GF into convincing you to pay a bit more,obviously stick to your limit and if necessary ,start walking away )

tell him you have to check another shops etc because that was your maximum

more often than not ,he will agree or sometimes call your bluff and let you leave

then chase after you 2 min later ,or phone you back and accept the deal out of laziness

(yes ,many thais are lazy so the path of least resistance is often very attractive to them )

[KunMatt]

brought phone to mbk ,first shop says he can fix ,500 thb i said ok (come back in 1 hr )

back in 1 hr and he hands me back the phone and says sorry ,we cant fix it ,no charge

gave it to another shop in mbk ,same story ,come back in 2 hours ,eventualy they said it couldnt be fixed

and gave it back to me again

so ,i goes back to the hotel and the manager (who i trust very well ) was there ,i told him the phone story , he told me his friend has a mobile shop in banglumphu ,he can get them to check it properly so i gave it to him

he comes back the next day and asks where i had brought the phone to fix initially ? i said MBK ,why ?

his friend told him ,that the camera ,(memory ) ram and some other components had been removed from the phone by the vultures

who offered to fix it at MBK

he wanted to know which shop so we could go back together but i couldnt remember the exact stalls or staff who had worked on the phone because i talked to so many phone booths in those 3-4 hours i was at MBK and they all look the same

after a while ,i was telling this to my other thai friend ,he owns a bar in bangkok and a few small factories ,his advice was :

if you take anything to fix ,make them fix it in front of you (car/motorbike /watch /phone /laptop)

if they say come back and collect ,refuse and offer to wait

if they say they need to go to the back room ,go with them

watch every move ,dont trust anything

if repairs are taking too long ,and they want you to return tomorrow ,take the item with you

(refuse offers of letting them work overtime in the night so you can pick it up in the morning etc )

scooters often have parts replaced ,if you leave them enough time ,they will cheat and replace every component

that has re -sale value with an older ,more worn out one and give you back a bike thats worse on every level than you gave them

this advice was from a thai (razor -sharp business owner) ,regarding other thais and how to deal with them safely

This is actually happening to us right now! lol. My gf's iPhone's screen was scrambled, all fault finding from me pointed to a problem with the CPU board. We take it to an Authorised Apple Re-seller in MBK on the 4th floor which has a sign saying they only use genuine parts and they say they cannot fix this type of fault and call someone in another shop on the 5th floor. We follow them back to their shop and they take it "quickly" to another shop for checking. We have our baby and hands full with shopping so we have no choice but to just stand by. He comes back with the phone in pieces with another screen for testing to show us the fault remains, so he takes it away again to check the CPU board. The day is dragging on and he says we can go home and he will call us to let us know when it is fixed and if he cannot fix it then no charge - we had already expected the worst the first time it was taken out of sight but that statement confirms it: it is being stripped down for parts and will be given back full of fake parts with a "Sorry, cannot fix, no charge".

So we have to go back tomorrow to collect it. The phone was probably already BER but we could have got some cash for it by selling it for parts when it was still original and put that towards a new iPhone. So what can we do now? Is there any kind of complaints department in MBK if we prove we've been scammed? The police won't want to know and all the stall guys are mafia.

Ideally to save face all round I would suggest he buys it from us for spares without any accusations that he's been a thieving little bastard, and that way there is no problem on both sides but of course he is not going to want to buy it when he already has the parts he needs.

So I'm just wondering, what would you do?

[wana]

brought phone to mbk ,first shop says he can fix ,500 thb i said ok (come back in 1 hr )

back in 1 hr and he hands me back the phone and says sorry ,we cant fix it ,no charge

gave it to another shop in mbk ,same story ,come back in 2 hours ,eventualy they said it couldnt be fixed

and gave it back to me again

so ,i goes back to the hotel and the manager (who i trust very well ) was there ,i told him the phone story , he told me his friend has a mobile shop in banglumphu ,he can get them to check it properly so i gave it to him

he comes back the next day and asks where i had brought the phone to fix initially ? i said MBK ,why ?

his friend told him ,that the camera ,(memory ) ram and some other components had been removed from the phone by the vultures

who offered to fix it at MBK

he wanted to know which shop so we could go back together but i couldnt remember the exact stalls or staff who had worked on the phone because i talked to so many phone booths in those 3-4 hours i was at MBK and they all look the same

after a while ,i was telling this to my other thai friend ,he owns a bar in bangkok and a few small factories ,his advice was :

if you take anything to fix ,make them fix it in front of you (car/motorbike /watch /phone /laptop)

if they say come back and collect ,refuse and offer to wait

if they say they need to go to the back room ,go with them

watch every move ,dont trust anything

if repairs are taking too long ,and they want you to return tomorrow ,take the item with you

(refuse offers of letting them work overtime in the night so you can pick it up in the morning etc )

scooters often have parts replaced ,if you leave them enough time ,they will cheat and replace every component

that has re -sale value with an older ,more worn out one and give you back a bike thats worse on every level than you gave them

this advice was from a thai (razor -sharp business owner) ,regarding other thais and how to deal with them safely

This is actually happening to us right now! lol. My gf's iPhone's screen was scrambled, all fault finding from me pointed to a problem with the CPU board. We take it to an Authorised Apple Re-seller in MBK on the 4th floor which has a sign saying they only use genuine parts and they say they cannot fix this type of fault and call someone in another shop on the 5th floor. We follow them back to their shop and they take it "quickly" to another shop for checking. We have our baby and hands full with shopping so we have no choice but to just stand by. He comes back with the phone in pieces with another screen for testing to show us the fault remains, so he takes it away again to check the CPU board. The day is dragging on and he says we can go home and he will call us to let us know when it is fixed and if he cannot fix it then no charge - we had already expected the worst the first time it was taken out of sight but that statement confirms it: it is being stripped down for parts and will be given back full of fake parts with a "Sorry, cannot fix, no charge".

So we have to go back tomorrow to collect it. The phone was probably already BER but we could have got some cash for it by selling it for parts when it was still original and put that towards a new iPhone. So what can we do now? Is there any kind of complaints department in MBK if we prove we've been scammed? The police won't want to know and all the stall guys are mafia.

Ideally to save face all round I would suggest he buys it from us for spares without any accusations that he's been a thieving little bastard, and that way there is no problem on both sides but of course he is not going to want to buy it when he already has the parts he needs.

So I'm just wondering, what would you do?

more than likely ,they have a failed motherboard ,failed ram and other crap they can install so your phone will look the same when u get it back (just be devoid of value )

its a hard crime to prove even if you do report it to mbk managment crime prevention team

im sure these tiny parts have numbers on them ,but theres no way to prove what components was in your phone when you handed it over

unless an expert from apple was involved but nothing in thailand ever gets investigated properly .........

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Don't waste your time, MBK least of all, but even Apple authorized, TiT. Complaining about this is like guys complaining when they get scammed by girls, at the time they paid for the house they knew they would have no legal right to it when things go south.

>> Doctor doctor it hurts when I do "this".

> So stop doing "that".

This: before you hand over the gadget you make it clear that they will need to fix it in front of you while you wait and you're not letting it out of your sight. Don't run this type of errand with anyone else around who might interfere.

Edited May 16, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[KunMatt]

Don't waste your time, MBK least of all, but even Apple authorized, TiT. Complaining about this is like guys complaining when they get scammed by girls, at the time they paid for the house they knew they would have no legal right to it when things go south.

>> Doctor doctor it hurts when I do "this".

> So stop doing "that".

This: before you hand over the gadget you make it clear that they will need to fix it in front of you while you wait and you're not letting it out of your sight. Don't run this type of errand with anyone else around who might interfere.

Thanks, but none of it is news to me.

Any actual advice for tomorrow??

[BigJohnnyBKK]

> Any actual advice for tomorrow??

If it works, be happy and pay.

If it doesn't, don't pay anything.

You didn't say how you left the price quote for fixing it, if you left it open-ended then you're pretty SOL, cross your fingers.

Remember, it's all little stuff, don't think too much.

[Travel2003]

The Alice in Wonderland guide to Thailand.

Generosity = stupidity.

That's the primary reason why Thais think we are idiots, because we flash cash and give it away. We think we're being kind, and they think we are clowns. It's a topsy turvy world we live in

Generosity = stupidity??

Wow, even generosity is being criticized here!

The one single act of unselfishness is actually being looked down upon!

Oh dear, you really got burned heavily once, didn't you?

And still bitter, since you claim all Thais think we are idiots.

[phuturatica]

What a rubbish situation, I'm sorry this happened to you. I personally would have told the wife to shut up and headbutted the guy without giving him a penny and demanding your old computer back. He probably would have given it you back if you made him lose face.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Generosity = stupidity??

Wow, even generosity is being criticized here!

The one single act of unselfishness is actually being looked down upon!

Oh dear, you really got burned heavily once, didn't you?

And still bitter, since you claim all Thais think we are idiots.

"Farang jai dee" isn't always said in admiration.

Thais talk a lot about abstract principles of virtue, but in practice their acts of kindness and generosity are usually kept within their personal friend/family/colleagues/business circles, and more often than not favors tracked and reciprocated, if not in kind, then future obligation, or at least deferment to their higher status, accumulating face as a useful soft asset to be cashed in later.

Just giving something away to a relative stranger without an expectation of anything coming back is definitely seen as a bit weird by many and foolish by some, and often results in our specifically being targeted to be taken advantage of.

I think theblether was pointing out the above, just more succinctly, rather than saying he feels the same way himself.

And of course I don't.

[Latindancer]

Thankyou, MCA ! Finally, after two pages....a post giving the correct response to this situation. This is exactly what I have learned to do in Thailand, not to turn away and refuse to deal with the offending person. In Thailand, a calm response....not a reaction....is best. And that is the correct response.

Edited May 16, 2012 by Latindancer

[samran]

Find it strange that the OP is turning his own lack of due diligence and common sense into an anti-Thai diatribe, and then hiding behind some misguided notion of 'losing face' as the excuse.

Oh, hold on, it is Thai Visa. Not so strange then.

[mca]

Thankyou, MCA ! Finally, after two pages....a post giving the correct response to this situation. This is exactly what I have learned to do in Thailand, not to turn away and refuse to deal with the offending person. In Thailand, a calm response....not a reaction....is best. And that is the correct response.

Sorry mate I deleted the post, You were a bit quick for me.

[simple1]

Interesting... my Thai wife has previously informed me that some Thai's say you're showing off / being big headed when being generous due to jealousy.

[Berkshire]

Find it strange that the OP is turning his own lack of due diligence and common sense into an anti-Thai diatribe, and then hiding behind some misguided notion of 'losing face' as the excuse.

Oh, hold on, it is Thai Visa. Not so strange then.

Was thinking the same thing. Disagreement with one party turns into the whole society being corrupt. But his whole concept of "generosity" baffles me. Giving away an old computer that you were never going to use again or most likely throw away--is that generosity? Everyone knows that a computer over 5 years old is woefully outdated. Why not buy the kid an Ipad? Because what is a modern kid going to do with an old computer, exactly? Oh, but an Ipad would mean actually spending some real money, i.e., being generous.

And getting the local repair guy to fix it..oh yes, that will save some money. Don't want to get a certified repair guy at a real repair shop because that would cost more money. But the repair guy did manage to fix it. Maybe didn't want to return some of the original components because it was crap, so decided to do the old farang a favor. Did the customer show any gratitude? Apparently not....

[samran]

Find it strange that the OP is turning his own lack of due diligence and common sense into an anti-Thai diatribe, and then hiding behind some misguided notion of 'losing face' as the excuse.

Oh, hold on, it is Thai Visa. Not so strange then.

Was thinking the same thing. Disagreement with one party turns into the whole society being corrupt. But his whole concept of "generosity" baffles me. Giving away an old computer that you were never going to use again or most likely throw away--is that generosity? Everyone knows that a computer over 5 years old is woefully outdated. Why not buy the kid an Ipad? Because what is a modern kid going to do with an old computer, exactly? Oh, but an Ipad would mean actually spending some real money, i.e., being generous.

And getting the local repair guy to fix it..oh yes, that will save some money. Don't want to get a certified repair guy at a real repair shop because that would cost more money. But the repair guy did manage to fix it. Maybe didn't want to return some of the original components because it was crap, so decided to do the old farang a favor. Did the customer show any gratitude? Apparently not....

Lets change the story a little.

Say I had a 1992 Toyota that I wanted to give to my 18 year old nephew, but it needed a bit of work. I send if off to the local mechanic up the road to be fixed.

My wife and I know nothing aboout cars, but the mechanic is a friend of a friend in the village.

A week later he comes back to me with a 1988 Datsun which works even worse, and charges me for the repair.

I gladly pay for the repair as my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic.

Sure, the mechanic has a bit of gumption when trying it on, but what does it say about me given the fact that he is trying it on, and that I am willing to pay for the Datsun, while my property is sitting somewhere else, never to be seen again?

Edited May 17, 2012 by samran

[Berkshire]

Lets change the story a little.

Say I had a 1992 Toyota that I wanted to give to my 18 year old nephew, but it needed a bit of work. I send if off to the local mechanic up the road to be fixed.

My wife and I know nothing aboout cars, but the mechanic is a friend of a friend in the village.

A week later he comes back to me with a 1988 Datsun which works even worse, and charges me for the repair.

I gladly pay for the repair as my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic.

Sure, the mechanic has a bit of gumption when trying it on, but what does it say about me given the fact that he is trying it on, and that I am willing to pay for the Datsun, while my property is sitting somewhere else, never to be seen again?

Ah, I see. So you're saying he's lacking in the gonads department? Well that's one perspective.

[Kilgore Trout]

Why did you accept the older computer and pay the 600 baht? I would say give me my old computer back and not pay a thing.

I started down that road, had already mentioned that to my wife, but it was obvious that my wife was losing face in front of the degenerate that was ripping me off. Creating a situation where my Thai wife loses face IS NOT worth 600 baht.

I dropped it for my wife's sake, and probably for my sake too -- I was extremely angry at that point. It's wasn't worth 600 baht to create the amount of disharmony that was about to happen in my house. I wanted the low-life and his junk computer out of my house as quickly as possible. I told my wife I was done with it, and turned my back on the guy. I refused to talk to him and the wife issued him out of the house. End of story.

Sorry, but I don't understand how your wife loses face trying to protect your property / interests.

because its an uncomfortable situation to accuse someone of dishonest practices or basically call him a lying cheating scumbag to his face

because of the langauge barrier your wife wold have had to make the accusations to the guy

i doubt a thai man would have had this problem but thai women are often scared of scumbag thai men and will often be afraid to stand up and start a ruckus when they can just pay up and avoid the fuss

your wife probably understood perfectly ,but women arent filled with testosterone and rage like a man in the same situation would be ,and thus are easier scammed

best not to let your wife make future deals ,i use thai women as translation only,not negeotiation ,and i tell them what i want to say and make the decisions myself ......

Edited May 17, 2012 by Kilgore Trout

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Giving away an old computer that you were never going to use again or most likely throw away--is that generosity? Everyone knows that a computer over 5 years old is woefully outdated. Why not buy the kid an Ipad? Because what is a modern kid going to do with an old computer, exactly? Oh, but an Ipad would mean actually spending some real money, i.e., being generous.

And getting the local repair guy to fix it..oh yes, that will save some money. Don't want to get a certified repair guy at a real repair shop because that would cost more money.

Generosity isn't measured by the money spent. He is being thoughtful and putting in his time and energy, most likely would end up having to give support down the road etc, very very generous IMO compared to just wacking an overpriced game gadget on your credit card if you've got that much money to spare.

A "modern kid" without resources is going to learn a lot from a full-blown computer even if it just runs Office 2007 and a web browser. How to prevent getting viruses and spyware, basic file management, typing at a decent rate - English!

And he won't be given the idea that the nearest rich farang will just bada bing make his greatest desire just magically appear, that thought effort and work are required to keep stuff going.

The most valuable gift of all in this context I'd say.

[tinfoilhat]

Why did you accept the older computer and pay the 600 baht? I would say give me my old computer back and not pay a thing.

I started down that road, had already mentioned that to my wife, but it was obvious that my wife was losing face in front of the degenerate that was ripping me off. Creating a situation where my Thai wife loses face IS NOT worth 600 baht.

I dropped it for my wife's sake, and probably for my sake too -- I was extremely angry at that point. It's wasn't worth 600 baht to create the amount of disharmony that was about to happen in my house. I wanted the low-life and his junk computer out of my house as quickly as possible. I told my wife I was done with it, and turned my back on the guy. I refused to talk to him and the wife issued him out of the house. End of story.

Sorry, but I don't understand how your wife loses face trying to protect your property / interests.

Honestly, I don't either. But I'm keenly aware of how my wife acts when she is about to lose face. And she was going down that path. If I would have pressed it, it would have gotten ugly. I will not have that disharmony in my own house. I don't know how else to explain it.

i believe you summarized your relationship with the woman in another thread.

if i recall correctly face is not the least of your issues

[robblok]

Lets change the story a little.

Say I had a 1992 Toyota that I wanted to give to my 18 year old nephew, but it needed a bit of work. I send if off to the local mechanic up the road to be fixed.

My wife and I know nothing aboout cars, but the mechanic is a friend of a friend in the village.

A week later he comes back to me with a 1988 Datsun which works even worse, and charges me for the repair.

I gladly pay for the repair as my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic.

Sure, the mechanic has a bit of gumption when trying it on, but what does it say about me given the fact that he is trying it on, and that I am willing to pay for the Datsun, while my property is sitting somewhere else, never to be seen again?

Ah, I see. So you're saying he's lacking in the gonads department? Well that's one perspective.

I am saying he should have been stronger, but it the computer repair guy who is most at fault. You two guys are really crazy if you dont see it. The OP made mistakes but that does not justify getting ripped off.

They always taught me two wrongs don't make a right.

The OP was wrong for being to soft and not sticking to his guns. But the Thai repair guy was even more wrong and a complete scammer. One thing does not excuse the others.

[Berkshire]

Lets change the story a little.

Say I had a 1992 Toyota that I wanted to give to my 18 year old nephew, but it needed a bit of work. I send if off to the local mechanic up the road to be fixed.

My wife and I know nothing aboout cars, but the mechanic is a friend of a friend in the village.

A week later he comes back to me with a 1988 Datsun which works even worse, and charges me for the repair.

I gladly pay for the repair as my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic.

Sure, the mechanic has a bit of gumption when trying it on, but what does it say about me given the fact that he is trying it on, and that I am willing to pay for the Datsun, while my property is sitting somewhere else, never to be seen again?

Ah, I see. So you're saying he's lacking in the gonads department? Well that's one perspective.

I am saying he should have been stronger, but it the computer repair guy who is most at fault. You two guys are really crazy if you dont see it. The OP made mistakes but that does not justify getting ripped off.

They always taught me two wrongs don't make a right.

The OP was wrong for being to soft and not sticking to his guns. But the Thai repair guy was even more wrong and a complete scammer. One thing does not excuse the others.

I don't disagree with you, but it's the entire episode that I'm leery of. The basic theme of this thread is rather disingenuous, don't you think? "Trying to show generosity in a corrupt society?" The OP is making himself out to be this generous saint, while at the same time trying to paint all of Thai society as corrupt. I see neither.

[robblok]

Lets change the story a little.

Say I had a 1992 Toyota that I wanted to give to my 18 year old nephew, but it needed a bit of work. I send if off to the local mechanic up the road to be fixed.

My wife and I know nothing aboout cars, but the mechanic is a friend of a friend in the village.

A week later he comes back to me with a 1988 Datsun which works even worse, and charges me for the repair.

I gladly pay for the repair as my wife is looking at me in a bit of a panic.

Sure, the mechanic has a bit of gumption when trying it on, but what does it say about me given the fact that he is trying it on, and that I am willing to pay for the Datsun, while my property is sitting somewhere else, never to be seen again?

Ah, I see. So you're saying he's lacking in the gonads department? Well that's one perspective.

I am saying he should have been stronger, but it the computer repair guy who is most at fault. You two guys are really crazy if you dont see it. The OP made mistakes but that does not justify getting ripped off.

They always taught me two wrongs don't make a right.

The OP was wrong for being to soft and not sticking to his guns. But the Thai repair guy was even more wrong and a complete scammer. One thing does not excuse the others.

I don't disagree with you, but it's the entire episode that I'm leery of. The basic theme of this thread is rather disingenuous, don't you think? "Trying to show generosity in a corrupt society?" The OP is making himself out to be this generous saint, while at the same time trying to paint all of Thai society as corrupt. I see neither.

I see the OP trying to do a good deed, that was fouled by the repair man. I can understand the frustration. So yes i understand his post. But to call the whole society corrupt is a bit much. But its certainly more corrupt and scams are more common here then in our home countries.

I find you a bit crazy with saying he should have bought an IPAD, maybe you got cash to spare but the OP has not. Might be the same when you buy an IPAD for someone and i say you should have given a IMAC xxxx (dont know them that well). Generous has nothing to do with how much you spend but, how much you spend in relation to what you can spend.

A poor rice farmer donating 1000 bt might be much more generous then a rich guy donating 10.000. Also by giving to much right away you set a wrong example.

[Berkshire]

Giving away an old computer that you were never going to use again or most likely throw away--is that generosity? Everyone knows that a computer over 5 years old is woefully outdated. Why not buy the kid an Ipad? Because what is a modern kid going to do with an old computer, exactly? Oh, but an Ipad would mean actually spending some real money, i.e., being generous.

And getting the local repair guy to fix it..oh yes, that will save some money. Don't want to get a certified repair guy at a real repair shop because that would cost more money.

Generosity isn't measured by the money spent. He is being thoughtful and putting in his time and energy, most likely would end up having to give support down the road etc, very very generous IMO compared to just wacking an overpriced game gadget on your credit card if you've got that much money to spare.

A "modern kid" without resources is going to learn a lot from a full-blown computer even if it just runs Office 2007 and a web browser. How to prevent getting viruses and spyware, basic file management, typing at a decent rate - English!

And he won't be given the idea that the nearest rich farang will just bada bing make his greatest desire just magically appear, that thought effort and work are required to keep stuff going.

The most valuable gift of all in this context I'd say.

I'd agree with you, in that generosity can't be measured in monetary terms. Just giving time and effort can be even more rewarding. But if the OP comes on here boasting about his "generosity" (his words, clearly in the thread title), then certainly the readership can apply some scrutiny.

[robblok]

Giving away an old computer that you were never going to use again or most likely throw away--is that generosity? Everyone knows that a computer over 5 years old is woefully outdated. Why not buy the kid an Ipad? Because what is a modern kid going to do with an old computer, exactly? Oh, but an Ipad would mean actually spending some real money, i.e., being generous.

And getting the local repair guy to fix it..oh yes, that will save some money. Don't want to get a certified repair guy at a real repair shop because that would cost more money.

Generosity isn't measured by the money spent. He is being thoughtful and putting in his time and energy, most likely would end up having to give support down the road etc, very very generous IMO compared to just wacking an overpriced game gadget on your credit card if you've got that much money to spare.

A "modern kid" without resources is going to learn a lot from a full-blown computer even if it just runs Office 2007 and a web browser. How to prevent getting viruses and spyware, basic file management, typing at a decent rate - English!

And he won't be given the idea that the nearest rich farang will just bada bing make his greatest desire just magically appear, that thought effort and work are required to keep stuff going.

The most valuable gift of all in this context I'd say.

I'd agree with you, in that generosity can't be measured in monetary terms. Just giving time and effort can be even more rewarding. But if the OP comes on here boasting about his "generosity" (his words, clearly in the thread title), then certainly the readership can apply some scrutiny.

Agreed, but i think its more that he is pissed off about the ripping part then boasting. But i would have written it differently with more emphasis on the ripping off but to be honest it feels worse if you are trying to do a good deed and something like this happens.

[Berkshire]

I find you a bit crazy with saying he should have bought an IPAD, maybe you got cash to spare but the OP has not. Might be the same when you buy an IPAD for someone and i say you should have given a IMAC xxxx (dont know them that well). Generous has nothing to do with how much you spend but, how much you spend in relation to what you can spend.

A poor rice farmer donating 1000 bt might be much more generous then a rich guy donating 10.000. Also by giving to much right away you set a wrong example.

As I just mentioned in a previous post, I agree that being generous really has nothing to do with monetary value. Regarding the Ipad, that was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. If a computer has no internet connection, it's near useless to a kid these days. I don't know if some of the old guys here are aware, but kids today are much more computer savvy than adults. My point is if a computer has outlived it's usefulness to an older guy (i.e., the OP), then it sure as heck won't be of much use to a young person.

[wana]

I find you a bit crazy with saying he should have bought an IPAD, maybe you got cash to spare but the OP has not. Might be the same when you buy an IPAD for someone and i say you should have given a IMAC xxxx (dont know them that well). Generous has nothing to do with how much you spend but, how much you spend in relation to what you can spend.

A poor rice farmer donating 1000 bt might be much more generous then a rich guy donating 10.000. Also by giving to much right away you set a wrong example.

As I just mentioned in a previous post, I agree that being generous really has nothing to do with monetary value. Regarding the Ipad, that was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. If a computer has no internet connection, it's near useless to a kid these days. I don't know if some of the old guys here are aware, but kids today are much more computer savvy than adults. My point is if a computer has outlived it's usefulness to an older guy (i.e., the OP), then it sure as heck won't be of much use to a young person.

pretty much all computers from around 1998+ have been abe to connect to internet and many are wifi enabled

a 5 year old computer would be a great gift to a poor kid with no computer at all

[sbk]

Must be "off topic petty bickering day" on Thaivisa today.

This is the fourth such topic I have had to delete off topic personal bickering between members. Please learn to mind your manners.

[Beetlejuice]

Our Connda has mentioned that his wife knows nothing about computers. So this means that there is a high probability that the repair guy was not cheating or ripping off the OP, but rather that the wife misunderstood the communications between Connda, herself and the repair guy and therefore resulted in the balls up of events.

There is no possible way that I would let my wife, who is also sadly lacking in the grey cell department, conduct any negotiating on my behalf unless I was physically standing in-between all parties concerned and ensuring that everything was completely understood, even if I had to draw pictures, if need be.

I think that there are many here in Thailand who are suffering from a form of paranoia, convinced that everyone’s sole ambition is to cheat and scam them, which is simply not the case.

Instead of just bluntly making accusations against the repairman and complaining about living in a corrupt society, I would first take into consideration what and how the wife explained everything to him, because I guess that this has been the cause of the problem and is the only reason the wife is afraid of losing face, because of her own misunderstandings.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

As I just mentioned in a previous post, I agree that being generous really has nothing to do with monetary value. Regarding the Ipad, that was somewhat tongue-in-cheek. If a computer has no internet connection, it's near useless to a kid these days. I don't know if some of the old guys here are aware, but kids today are much more computer savvy than adults. My point is if a computer has outlived it's usefulness to an older guy (i.e., the OP), then it sure as heck won't be of much use to a young person.

You must swim in wealthier circles than most. Other than my students - who by definition are wealthy - fewer than 10% of the Thai families I know (hundreds) can afford or are ever likely to be able to afford to buy a computer for their kid.

As long as it runs Office and a web browser it's much better than nothing. In fact the fact that a computer isn't capable of playing games is IMO a big plus to them actually using it for the intended purpose rather than just a very expensive PS2/Xbox.