The Importance Of Walking

Walking can add minutes to your life.

This enables you at 85 years old

to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing

home at $7000 per month.

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My grandpa started walking

five miles a day when he was 60.

Now he's 97 years old

and we don't know where he is.

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I like long walks,

especially when they are taken

by people who annoy me.

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The only reason I would take up walking

is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

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I have to walk early in the morning,

before my brain figures out what I'm doing..

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I joined a health club last year,

spent about 400 bucks.

Haven't lost a pound.

Apparently you have to go there.

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Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',

I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

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The advantage of exercising every day

is so when you die, they'll say,

'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

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If you are going to try cross-country skiing,

start with a small country.

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I know I got a lot of exercise

the last few years,......

just getting over the hill.

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We all get heavier as we get older,

because there's a lot more information in our heads.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

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AND

Every time I start thinking too much

about how I look,

I just find a Happy Hour

and by the time I leave,

I look just fine.