Not talking about the obvious stuff that brings most of us here initially. I mean the longer term decision to actually settle down with a Thai woman specifically.

Looking back I think the relationship dynamic played a bigger part in my choice than I ever admitted at the time. The roles are just... clear. He provides, she takes care of the home and family. No blurred lines, no competition for the same space, no ongoing negotiation about who does what and why or whose in charge!

That model largely disappeared in the West over the past few decades. Again — not saying that's wrong, times change. But somewhere along the way relationships back home started feeling like a constant push and pull, both people sometimes fighting for the lead role, and a lot of the warmth getting lost in the friction.

With my Thai partner that friction is just absent. There's a calm to it. She's reserved in public as Thai culture generally is, but within the relationship she's attentive and warm without it feeling like something that has to be earned or negotiated.

So honestly — for those of you settled with Thai women long term — how much did that traditional dynamic factor into it? Was it a conscious choice or did you only recognise it later for what it was?

Nope......purely the "obvious stuff".

Be honest, was it the traditional values that drew you to a Thai woman

Yep. Western woman with tats and nose rings and blue hair can stay in the West for all I care. I've no use for them.
I prefer traditional, Buddhist, family values.

5 hours ago, Conan The Barbarian said:

So honestly — for those of you settled with Thai women long term — how much did that traditional dynamic factor into it? Was it a conscious choice or did you only recognise it later for what it was?

Hot frequent sex with much younger women at minimal cost was what kept me here.

I think I only recognized it later.

IME Thai women are more subtle. Instead of the confrontation/negotiation model of the West, they gently steer you to what they want, with emphasis on harmony.

No, as I find people are the same everywhere. Plenty of 'traditional value' folks back in the USA, that I left behind. Though depends on who's tradition you are referring to.

Nothing different about TH & USA, except P4P is on display, if wanting, in TH. Rest is basically the same in every country I've been to. Most people simply live comfy; work, eat & enjoy themselves.

Only difference that affects me, I'm a THB millionaire here, so makes retirement, stress free.

Yes, couple of decades ago it was nice, especially out of Bangkok.

But now, its sickening to find at every nook and corner high nosed foreigners aggressively flaunting their $$$ power as if they were of some superior class.

The problem is not with the Thai lady. Problems start with her family, the 2 useless lazy brothers hidden somewhere who show up or the in-laws expecting the falang to finance their retirement comfort. That's where the trouble always starts.

You also have the look of society. Maybe not in villages or remote areas but in popular cities or towns like Bangkok, Hua Hin Phuket etc...people seeing a thai lady with a foreigner will usually assume the lady is on a rent-per-week basis. That's sad to think such but many (mostly foreigners) will think as such.

The description of "submissive" females is specific to the lower socio economic class of people everywhere. It is why many abused women remain with their abusers in the west, why morbidly obese and/or unattractive people hook up with partners who have no redeeming characteristics etc.: They are so unappealing, that this is the best that they can do. No woman of independent means and of sound emotional state is going to sign on as the live in attendant for a mediocre, unattractive, male with few if any positive features. Even sexual attributes loses their allure after a year or two of living with a deadbeat loser.

8 minutes ago, Patong2021 said:

The description of "submissive" females is specific to the lower socio economic class of people everywhere. It is why many abused women remain with their abusers in the west, why morbidly obese and/or unattractive people hook up with partners who have no redeeming characteristics etc.: They are so unappealing, that this is the best that they can do. No woman of independent means and of sound emotional state is going to sign on as the live in attendant for a mediocre, unattractive, male with few if any positive features. Even sexual attributes loses their allure after a year or two of living with a deadbeat loser.

Never met a submissive Thai lady, my wife would stab me without a second thought, if I was out of order.

My last two Thai LTRs, one ran her American husband down with her car, then had him removed from Thailand for overstay while he was still on crutches. The other had her Swedish husband run down and killed by a taxi driver.

What's wrong with a women who likes to cook, clean, do laundry and enjoys sex? Many are still out there especially in Thailand.

People seem to think this is a bad thing.

Probably because they have been so beaten down and tainted by western females in every aspect they have lost touch. Might as well chop your nuts off. Sad and weak in my opinion.

Actually it was a terrific bum in light blue jeans. Jeans have gone bum is bigger but still together

I support two Thai women on disparate sides of the country. Stay 5 1/2 months to keep my gold platted retirement benefits intact.

Either one would kill me if they knew. Nothing more appealing than a strong willed Thai gal. Life on the edge.

Gotta love it.

In my last relationship in Norway, we were only just beginning to get to know each other when she told me she wanted to have one more child. She was 41 and already had children aged 22 and 18. She also told me she dreamed of traveling through Scotland and the USA on horseback.

Meanwhile, I was picturing palm trees and beaches.

She did go to USA and explored parts on a horseback, so credit for that. I like horseback riding, but,,,,,,,, not exactly my dream.

Wife was just a meeting through common friends, just finished or ending a long term relationship, so we took our time by distance and a few visits before we where a couple. She is a good mix culturally Nordic and Thai, not extreme in any way. Her boyfriend or boyfriend's did a good job teaching her.

45 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Her boyfriend or boyfriend's did a good job teaching her.

Erm...okay 😊 Nothing like having another man train up your woman. You sound somewhat proud. I'm sure he appreciates your endorsement.

Perhaps the ex of one of my Norwegian friends.

Are there any palm trees and beaches where you are?

Happily, I found a woman with traditional values who also loves to share 😊 Intelligent women need strong and intelligent men.

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Erm...okay 😊 Nothing like having another man train up your woman. You sound somewhat proud. I'm sure he appreciates your endorsement.

Could be the ex of one of my Norwegian friends.

Nice try IsmeUno, and good morning to you to.

We are all products of our experiences.

Sorry to see you carry so much negativity within yourself, and somehow I knew this reply would come from you.

Just now, Hummin said:

Nice try IsmeUno, and good morning to you to.

We are all products of our experiences.

Sorry to see you carry so much negativity within yourself, and somehow I knew this reply would come from you.

No negativity at all. I have a big smile on my face. 😊 Laughing even 😊

A good morning to you 😊

Not much into steak, though bon appetit! all the same.

10 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

No negativity at all. I have a big smile on my face. 😊 Laughing even 😊

A good morning to you 😊

Not much into steak, though bon appetit! all the same.

It is always interesting when someone can make others smile, even if it is driven entirely by self-righteousness and complacency.

And yes, there are palm trees around me too, but beaches and palms are not some special point of distinction, they are simply part of the destination you choose.

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

It is always interesting when someone can make others smile, even if it is driven entirely by self-righteousness and complacency.

I see that you are enjoying a word salad with your steak 😊

Indeed, I was thinking how much myself and girl laugh together. I mean side splitting, often. So yes indeed, it's great to be with people who can make you laugh and with whom you can have fun.

2 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

I see that you are enjoying a word salad with your steak 😊

Indeed, I was thinking how much myself and girl laugh together. I mean side splitting, often. So yes indeed, it's great to be with people who can make you laugh and with whom you can have fun.

I will send you a pm that will cheer you up a bit. Have a nice day, truly, a nice day you deserve it.

Just now, Hummin said:

I will send you a pm that will cheer you up a bit. Have a nice day, truly, a nice day you deserve it.

An unsolicited PM? You know what you did every time I sent you an unsolicited PM. You lost it completely. So be careful what you begin is all I can say at this point. 😊

Better you take Admin's advice and start a new thread. Then it's all in the open.

On 3/24/2026 at 7:37 AM, Conan The Barbarian said:

Not talking about the obvious stuff that brings most of us here initially. I mean the longer term decision to actually settle down with a Thai woman specifically.

Looking back I think the relationship dynamic played a bigger part in my choice than I ever admitted at the time. The roles are just... clear. He provides, she takes care of the home and family. No blurred lines, no competition for the same space, no ongoing negotiation about who does what and why or whose in charge!

That model largely disappeared in the West over the past few decades. Again — not saying that's wrong, times change. But somewhere along the way relationships back home started feeling like a constant push and pull, both people sometimes fighting for the lead role, and a lot of the warmth getting lost in the friction.

With my Thai partner that friction is just absent. There's a calm to it. She's reserved in public as Thai culture generally is, but within the relationship she's attentive and warm without it feeling like something that has to be earned or negotiated.

So honestly — for those of you settled with Thai women long term — how much did that traditional dynamic factor into it? Was it a conscious choice or did you only recognise it later for what it was?

Yep, and this states well why "aging" western males find Thai culture so inviting. As I express to those newly arrived (after stating to keep thinking and control over funds) ... retiring to Thailand is like stepping back into the life most of us "boomers" were raised. As you stated, man responsible for finances security, woman takes care of her man. Ha! I can live the remaining of my days with that. True also is the observation that this is reinforced by traditional Thai culture. OK, I said enough without launching into a dissertation on the ups and downs.

21 hours ago, Lacessit said:

I think I only recognized it later.

IME Thai women are more subtle. Instead of the confrontation/negotiation model of the West, they gently steer you to what they want, with emphasis on harmony.

Ha! Yes. I had read upon retiring here that: "Thailand is a male dominated society ... directed by women!"

4 minutes ago, Hummin said:

I will send you a pm that will cheer you up a bit. Have a nice day, truly, a nice day you deserve it.

I don't know which thread you used as a basis, but it certainly was not the one where you constantly deflected. Ego driven is certainly correct 😊

21 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Hot frequent sex with much younger women at minimal cost was what kept me here.

Ah, but a fond memory now.

18 hours ago, bkk6060 said:

What's wrong with a women who likes to cook, clean, do laundry and enjoys sex? Many are still out there especially in Thailand.

People seem to think this is a bad thing.

Probably because they have been so beaten down and tainted by western females in every aspect they have lost touch. Might as well chop your nuts off. Sad and weak in my opinion.

Who/where are these people who say it is a bad thing? None of my 'western' exes had any problems with doing these things.

Maybe the problem is that the man doesn't help at all and thinks his money should compensate for his uselessness in all other areas.

This narrative of western woman bad, Asian woman good is more than likely actually propagated by weak men.

I agree with @KhunLA Same same...but different.

47 minutes ago, Hummin said:

Have a nice day, truly, a nice day you deserve it.

Thank you. Though I must say that your posts are quite different when not written by ChatGPT 😊

22 hours ago, BritManToo said:

Hot frequent sex with much younger women at minimal cost was what kept me here.

Me too like most of my friends . . .

47 minutes ago, wwest5829 said:

Yep, and this states well why "aging" western males find Thai culture so inviting. As I express to those newly arrived (after stating to keep thinking and control over funds) ... retiring to Thailand is like stepping back into the life most of us "boomers" were raised. As you stated, man responsible for finances security, woman takes care of her man. Ha! I can live the remaining of my days with that. True also is the observation that this is reinforced by traditional Thai culture. OK, I said enough without launching into a dissertation on the ups and downs.

I think @Cameroni may have some thoughts to add before you launch into a dissertation. It's not just the west that is changing/has changed.

52 minutes ago, IsmeUno said:

Who/where are these people who say it is a bad thing? None of my 'western' exes had any problems with doing these things.

Maybe the problem is that the man doesn't help at all and thinks his money should compensate for his uselessness in all other areas.

This narrative of western woman bad, Asian woman good is more than likely actually propagated by weak men.

I agree with @KhunLA Same same...but different.

I more of a 'young western women unavailable' to a 70yo man.