Naming And Shaming

[thequietman]

hi guys,

As I type here in the village, the pue yai is calling out the names of people in the village and has been doing so for 10 minutes now.

It was only when I heard the wifes name that I asked her what was he talking about her for.

Answer....... the temple is currently building a fancy archway into the wat and have been collecting money to do so. The part I dont like is the need to call out peoples names and tell everyone how much or how little they have given to this cause.

The wife says its a face thing and people want other people to know how much they have given.

Surely the point is that people give what they can, when they can and not to embarass them if they couldnt give or only were able to give a little.

Has this happened to any of you before.

Thanks in advance for any replies.

[wana]

if it happened me ,i would give a symbolic envelope ,an empty one ......

Terrible practice of pressuring people to donate more than they can afford

or feel embarrassed in front of their neighbours because of them broadcasting the amounts

everyone did or didnt give ........

Edited May 10, 2012 by wana

[samsiam]

Yes....its the face thing....you should understand that by now and also understand its role in every other action they do.

I have had/seen it before.

I put 10 baht in an envelope once and wrote MrBean on it.

Another time I put 5 x 1 baht coins in and wrote from the Beatles.

[Lite Beer]

Happens all the time.

Weddings, Funerals, Monk parties, Wat donations.

To my thinking it is awful but this is the way it is.

[ableguy]

As if these guys dont have enough temples and cash already ?

[theblether]

What did your wife actually say, did she say it was a bad thing or a good thing?

I would imagine your wife would have a fine balancing act to play as you are a farang, there may be a lot of expectation on her via you.

There may also be people in the village that look forward to the event. Interesting topic.

[thequietman]

Yes....its the face thing....you should understand that by now and also understand its role in every other action they do.

I have had/seen it before.

I put 10 baht in an envelope once and wrote MrBean on it.

Another time I put 5 x 1 baht coins in and wrote from the Beatles.

surely they would have known it was from you with the name and handwriting!

anyone say anything to you about it ?

[pattayadingo]

As they do at weddings except they notice the names on the envelopes as opposed to reading the names out aloud. Then they know who the cheapskates are.

I am surprised they read the names out in public but i am not a Thai. Not a situation I like at all.

[thequietman]

What did your wife actually say, did she say it was a bad thing or a good thing?

I would imagine your wife would have a fine balancing act to play as you are a farang, there may be a lot of expectation on her via you.

There may also be people in the village that look forward to the event. Interesting topic.

She has told me she doesn't agree with it either.

On another occasion they were collecting for something else for the wat ( i think they all needed top ups for their mobiles or something). The wife gave as normal but when she put 100 baht in the dish, the guy actually started hassling her, asking why because she has a farang, didn't she put more money in. this was in front of the neighbours. she just walked away but he kept on talking. she turned around and walked back over, put her hand in her purse again, opened it and then put her hand in the dish and took the 100 baht back. the guy couldnt believe it and neither could the neighbours.

[zzaa09]

if it happened me ,i would give a symbolic envelope ,an empty one ......

Terrible practice of pressuring people to donate more than they can afford

or feel embarrassed in front of their neighbours because of them broadcasting the amounts

everyone did or didnt give ........

What if they had a tamboon.....and no one gave? Practicing a little protest decorum.

Wonder how the poo yai's approach would be then?

[zzaa09]

What did your wife actually say, did she say it was a bad thing or a good thing?

I would imagine your wife would have a fine balancing act to play as you are a farang, there may be a lot of expectation on her via you.

There may also be people in the village that look forward to the event. Interesting topic.

Surely. When attached to "the Farang".....the amount is expected to be greater, by leaps and bounds.

[h90]

I recall from Austria, when I was young say 20-25 years ago they had this "Licht ins Dunkel" (Light in the dark) before christmas and brought on TV for hours lists of names of people and how much they gave.....

Even than I thought it is very strange.....

[villagefarang]

I agree with Blether that our wives are often squeezed between the expectations of the village and us. I try my best not to add to that pressure. Whatever she feels the need to do is fine with me. She is also free to use me as an excuse if there is something she doesn’t want to do. I am impervious to the heat.

From what I have seen much of the cooperation and community spirit that we see in villages, is motivated by fear not generosity. Everyone keeps a ledger on the rest of the village and knows exactly where they stand.

As a side note, I take perverse pleasure in having our names and the amount donated hanging above the entrance to the temple. Everyone must walk under the name of an unbeliever. We did that instead of having a drunken melee, called a house warming party. There are always avenues for manipulating the system without direct confrontation.

[elwood]

Every year my wife's village holds a rocket festival and all households make contributions to buy items to be used at the lottery and other village expenses; it is a very large, 3-4 day event. The head man reads out the entire list of contributors and the amounts, as you say.

However, no one listens; they are too busy hosting family parties or visiting the temple for food, drink, lottery and a fair; they don't give a toss whether anyone gives 100 baht or 20 baht.

No one worries about "face" - in fact, when the working family members and their friends pour in from Bangkok and elsewhere, they simply offload money and presents to the temple and nobody blathers on about who spent the most or the least.

[jamescollister]

Those that have, pay, those without pay what they can afford. If you live there don't get into a pissing match. I never pay, let the wife do what's right, TIT go with the flow and always remember we have no face. Just do as you can, no one will hold it against you. Jim

[theblether]

What did your wife actually say, did she say it was a bad thing or a good thing?

I would imagine your wife would have a fine balancing act to play as you are a farang, there may be a lot of expectation on her via you.

There may also be people in the village that look forward to the event. Interesting topic.

She has told me she doesn't agree with it either.

On another occasion they were collecting for something else for the wat ( i think they all needed top ups for their mobiles or something). The wife gave as normal but when she put 100 baht in the dish, the guy actually started hassling her, asking why because she has a farang, didn't she put more money in. this was in front of the neighbours. she just walked away but he kept on talking. she turned around and walked back over, put her hand in her purse again, opened it and then put her hand in the dish and took the 100 baht back. the guy couldnt believe it and neither could the neighbours.

I think you married well thequietman, that's Story Of The Week for me.

[kerryk]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

[Naam]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

[mackes]

It's happen everywhere. It is a way to get more money donated, if no announcement I'm sure they don't get half the amount.

I'm not defending the system, just try to explain. If you should have them to stop this habit there must be a solid motivation.

[thequietman]

What did your wife actually say, did she say it was a bad thing or a good thing?

I would imagine your wife would have a fine balancing act to play as you are a farang, there may be a lot of expectation on her via you.

There may also be people in the village that look forward to the event. Interesting topic.

She has told me she doesn't agree with it either.

On another occasion they were collecting for something else for the wat ( i think they all needed top ups for their mobiles or something). The wife gave as normal but when she put 100 baht in the dish, the guy actually started hassling her, asking why because she has a farang, didn't she put more money in. this was in front of the neighbours. she just walked away but he kept on talking. she turned around and walked back over, put her hand in her purse again, opened it and then put her hand in the dish and took the 100 baht back. the guy couldnt believe it and neither could the neighbours.

I think you married well thequietman, that's Story Of The Week for me.

yep, i,m lucky. she does something strange but uplifting on a weekly basis. makes me laugh a lot. thanks.

[theblether]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

Edited May 10, 2012 by theblether

[villagefarang]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

I think I am blushing.

[AngelofDeath]

You wouldn't be putting yourself in the spotlight if you did not donate the most. Go with the crowd in this case is a good decision.

[theblether]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

I think I am blushing.

That will be a first..........anyway I call it as I see it

[thequietman]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

yes, excellent read. the one thing that strikes me is the friendly manner in which the banter to's and fro's. a much better class of tv'ers back then, me thinks. there are a lot of people on tv now who really come on to wind people up and prove themselves to be no help at all. I will keep reading and if you could point me in the direction of any other good links from the past, it would be appreciated. By the way, I enjoy reading your posts. you are both honest and well intentioned. take care.

[farang000999]

When they had that flooding last year or the year before I donated some instant noodles. There was a whole lot of kowtowing. Boy did it feel good. Frankly, if I would have dropped off those instant noodle packages and nobody acknowledged I would have felt robbed. The most important aspect of giving is that it is acknowledged, if only by strangers.

[theblether]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Scotland?

You wouln't dare do that in Scotland, the sheet would get stolen.

thequietman, villagefarang recommended this topic as being one of the best ever on Thaivisa.

http://www.thaivisa....lage-full-time/

I am half way through it, and I highly recommend it. Some of the posts are absolutely hilarious while being right on the button at the same time. You should go have a look at villagefarangs profile and follow into his blog.

I think you will find in both cases a lot of experiences and information that will be both useful and familiar to you.

If anyone else has a couple of hours to spare I recommend you do the same thing, the quality is of MacB's topic is quite outstanding, and you will see some superb, and I mean superb photography from villagefarang along with his musings of life in Thailand.

Top quality stuff.

yes, excellent read. the one thing that strikes me is the friendly manner in which the banter to's and fro's. a much better class of tv'ers back then, me thinks. there are a lot of people on tv now who really come on to wind people up and prove themselves to be no help at all. I will keep reading and if you could point me in the direction of any other good links from the past, it would be appreciated. By the way, I enjoy reading your posts. you are both honest and well intentioned. take care.

Now I'm blushing

[nong38]

Yes....its the face thing....you should understand that by now and also understand its role in every other action they do.

I have had/seen it before.

I put 10 baht in an envelope once and wrote MrBean on it.

Another time I put 5 x 1 baht coins in and wrote from the Beatles.

I hope you wrote Mr Bean and the Beatles in Thai otherwise the Monks will say " see that farang over there, he is a cheapskate."

[SlyAnimal]

People don't have to post their name with the donation, I know when I last gave a donation I asked my gf to make it private instead (Although she actually just put it in the name of her mum instead)

But yeah, I'm not a fan of the practice, but then it's just Thai style. They like to compare wealth, it's important to them.

I like that idea of having a big sign above the temple saying how you made a large donation etc, especially as a non believer lol. It'd probably take a bit of pressure off your wife, and earn her a bit of extra respect in the village.

Haha although, it'd probably also double the amount of visitors who come around for coffee and ask your wife if they can borrow some money too lol. Since if you have that much to give to the temple, I'm sure you can spare 20k for poor ol P Oiy who has fallen behind on her repayments to the mafia, after she borrowed money from them so that she could make the repayments on that car which she doesn't need.

Edited May 10, 2012 by SlyAnimal

[besth]

What was that country that used to hang the sheet on the balcony after the wedding night?

Isn't that a gipsy habbit?