My Wife'S Friends

[dean999]

I was having a conversation with the wife the other day about one of are male Belgium friends and it went something like this -

Wife talking about Thai friends," they don't like the Belgium man because he speaks good Thai."

Me," surely they should be happy he has taken the time to learn you're language."

Wife," they say, Falang who speaks Thai is no good."

Me," well in that case, i don't like your friends, Thai who speak good English is no good."

She just laughed and said it's not the same thing. i said to her that i don't trust anyone that says the line " falang that speaks good Thai is no good."

I think that people have something to hide or they like to speak bad about Falang and thats why they don't want us to understand. Or it's a kind of power trip.

I would like to add that my wife likes me talking Thai and she teach's me as much as she can.

Your thought's please.

[theoldgit]

My ex-wife used to say the same, just before she took me to the cleaners.

I'm 100% convinced that she didn't want me to know what she was saying to her friends and when talking on the telephone.

My current partner has the opposite view, and in the five years we have been together actively encourages me to improve my Thai language skills.

[arthurwait]

Every Thai I know and have met is glad I try to learn Thai and encourage me to learn more.

The only time I recall someone didn't like me speaking Thai was with a friends girlfriend who is half his age who had to keep reminding her sister that I can speak Thai. Nid noi diow though.

[LucidLucifer]

My wife has never objected to me learning Thai (although i've been lazy to), and we have both witnessed Thai women say they don't want their husbands to learn the lingo.

For me, and the missus, we regard that as a sure sign the lady is trying to hide something. Very bad indeed.

[TommoPhysicist]

Almost every Thai I meet pretends they can't understand when I talk Thai.

Then I get out my notepad and write it down and suddenly they can understand my spoken Thai.

[YipYipYa123]

My wife has never objected to me learning Thai (although i've been lazy to), and we have both witnessed Thai women say they don't want their husbands to learn the lingo.

For me, and the missus, we regard that as a sure sign the lady is trying to hide something. Very bad indeed.

In many farang/thai relationships ,the woman takes care of all shiopping /decision making and other affairs

and she probably likes it that way

A farang who can speak perfect thai is a much more daunting challenge for a woman

He doesnt have to rely on her for every little thing ,he can pick up the phone or chat casually with thai persons and a whole other

world opens up for him

I can see why some women would prefer a farang that doesnt speak or understand thai ......

[bendix]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

[LucidLucifer]

My wife has never objected to me learning Thai (although i've been lazy to), and we have both witnessed Thai women say they don't want their husbands to learn the lingo.

For me, and the missus, we regard that as a sure sign the lady is trying to hide something. Very bad indeed.

In many farang/thai relationships ,the woman takes care of all shiopping /decision making and other affairs

and she probably likes it that way

Are you sure about that?

He doesnt have to rely on her for every little thing ,he can pick up the phone or chat casually with thai persons and a whole other

world opens up for him

What you are describing is a wife keeping her husband in the dark. Why, in an equal relationship, which is what a marrage i ssupposed to be, would one partner want to do this, unless there is an ulterior motive?

I think in many ways you have just helped to prove my point.

Edited May 31, 2012 by LucidLucifer

[Berkshire]

I would agree with this from the OP regarding Thais who don't want farangs to learn Thai:

"I think that people have something to hide..."

I have never met a Thai who didn't appreciate foreigners learning/trying to learn their language. But I could imagine in a bar situation where a BG would prefer that the farang customer couldn't speak Thai. Not only for deceptive reasons, but being able to speak Thai means the farang has been in-country awhile and possibly wise to the ways of the fleecing ritual. So these women speaking negatively of the Belgian are clearly not to be trusted.

Thai women who are in long term, loving relationships would sure as heck prefer that their spouse could speak their language.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

In my experience the only Thais who say this are those looking to scam foreigners.

I'd really like to hear a plausible alternative explanation, can't think of one.

Note however the government also considers it a national security issue, at least that's what AUA told me when I asked why they registered my name with the Thai government. Can't imagine that list is maintained with any efficiency, but just the fact they try to keep one. . .

[BigJohnnyBKK]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

I really don't understand this. It seems perfectly obvious to me that most farang marry Thai women who are not trustworthy.

No aspersions cast on Thais in general, obviously most farang look for love in all the wrong places.

But are you trying to claim that these guys **should** be trusting of these women and their friends? Either you're rooting for the Thai scammers or very naive. . .

[Berkshire]

I also wanted to ask the OP/Dean if he can find out why these women think that the "Falang who speaks Thai is no good." Surely they must have a reason why they think this way.

[YipYipYa123]

My wife has never objected to me learning Thai (although i've been lazy to), and we have both witnessed Thai women say they don't want their husbands to learn the lingo.

For me, and the missus, we regard that as a sure sign the lady is trying to hide something. Very bad indeed.

In many farang/thai relationships ,the woman takes care of all shiopping /decision making and other affairs

and she probably likes it that way

Are you sure about that?

He doesnt have to rely on her for every little thing ,he can pick up the phone or chat casually with thai persons and a whole other

world opens up for him

What you are describing is a wife keeping her husband in the dark. Why, in an equal relationship, which is what a marrage i ssupposed to be, would one partner want to do this, unless there is an ulterior motive?

I think in many ways you have just helped to prove my point.

its more like keeping him dependant on her ,rather than keeping him "in the dark" i would think ..

I think in a lot of cases ,even my own ,i rely on thai people to do much more than is really necessary

Partly because i make mistakes dealing in thai sometimes but more often from sheer laziness

Why not tell a bi-lingual secretary or wife to organise delivery of something or re-new the tax on the cars etc

it gets to the stage where you could learn more thai if you really had to ........but you know enough basic thai already to be comfortable in

most daily situations

[remiss]

I was told the same thing last night. Upon which I said 'koon mai dee', then we sat there saying that too each other a few times until I gave up... Forgot to ask why, but they probably like to keep things witin the group or to themselves. If you are used to being able to keeping secrets or saying what you want infront of someone, losing the way to do it is kinda annoying (been there myself).

[theblether]

The most delicious dish.......

Don't declare you can speak Thai, you will learn a lot more in 5 minutes than you will in 5 years otherwise.

The Thais that want to talk negatively think they have an advantage over you, let them hang themselves with their stupidity and slamdunk them when it suits you.

Then enjoy the look of dread when they realize what they have done. Timing, dear boy, timing.

By the way it's not just a Thai thing, every country does it.

[canman]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

I don't think he actually said or implied that he did not trust his wife.

[dean999]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

When did i say i don't trust my wife? I said i don't trust anyone that use's the line about falang speaking good Thai. I never said my wife say's it. It's her friends. So i don't trust her friends. Read again.

[theblether]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

You must be reading a different OP from me to deduce that.

Try again Bendix.

[bendix]

"She just laughed and said it's not the same thing"

Doesn't this suggest she agrees with her friends?

[bendix]

But are you trying to claim that these guys **should** be trusting of these women and their friends? Either you're rooting for the Thai scammers or very naive. . .

I don't know who 'these women and their friends' are, and have no interest in them.

What I'm saying is that it's a tragedy that so many men marry people that they fundamentally don't trust, and I wonder what makes them do it.

[theblether]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

When did i say i don't trust my wife? I said i don't trust anyone that use's the line about falang speaking good Thai. I never said my wife say's it. It's her friends. So i don't trust her friends. Read again.

That was a poor and misjudged post by Bendix.

I read that your wife positively encourages you to speak Thai. She sounds fantastic, loving and trusting to me.

[dean999]

I also wanted to ask the OP/Dean if he can find out why these women think that the "Falang who speaks Thai is no good." Surely they must have a reason why they think this way.

I'll ask her friends when i see them next. I asked my wife and she said it's to do with Falang looking like they are being clever. She said Thai's are happy around the villages for us to speak Thai but area's like Pattaya, Phucket ect they don't like it. I say it's because thoughs area's have the highest percentage of liar's and bad people. For example, if you understand Thai you will hear the conversations about all their gik's and how they fleece them. So they look bad and loose face.

[canman]

"She just laughed and said it's not the same thing"

Doesn't this suggest she agrees with her friends?

I would say it suggests she believes it is not the same thing. She may be implying as has been said already in this thread that a falang fluent in Thai limits their ability to converse covertly in front of said falang. Where as it is not such an issue if the Thai is fluent in the falang's native language.

[edwinclapham]

Being ignorant of a language always gives someone an upper hand.. sit back and

The most delicious dish.......

Don't declare you can speak Thai, you will learn a lot more in 5 minutes than you will in 5 years otherwise.

The Thais that want to talk negatively think they have an advantage over you, let them hang themselves with their stupidity and slamdunk them when it suits you.

Then enjoy the look of dread when they realize what they have done. Timing, dear boy, timing.

By the way it's not just a Thai thing, every country does it.

I just love the look of total confusion on their faces! and the "back tracking" is a joy to behold!

[bendix]

It's sweet that the OP doesn't trust his wife or her friends.

Nice one.

When did i say i don't trust my wife? I said i don't trust anyone that use's the line about falang speaking good Thai. I never said my wife say's it. It's her friends. So i don't trust her friends. Read again.

That was a poor and misjudged post by Bendix.

I read that your wife positively encourages you to speak Thai. She sounds fantastic, loving and trusting to me.

If it was, then mea maxima culpa.

My sense was that she imparted a view to her husband about what her friends thought. He countered by saying does that mean Thais who speak English are no good.

She laughed and said it wasn't the same thing which seems to suggest she is defending and supporting their position, and countering his view.

Either way, if my - admittedly - throw away post gave offence, I apologise.

[edwinclapham]

"She just laughed and said it's not the same thing"

Doesn't this suggest she agrees with her friends?

I would say it suggests she believes it is not the same thing. She may be implying as has been said already in this thread that a falang fluent in Thai limits their ability to converse covertly in front of said falang. Where as it is not such an issue if the Thai is fluent in the falang's native language.

Not too sure of that accusations of being a bar girl could come into play

[Bangkokhatter]

I agree with most posters, the Thais that don't like it are the ones either wanting to say bad things or trying to scam people.

Maybe a few of the wives or girlfriends prefer their man not to know too much so he is more reliant on them and will not wander, but i would imagine most partners would encourage learning the language.

Mine certainly nags me enough to start learning again

[theblether]

"She just laughed and said it's not the same thing"

Doesn't this suggest she agrees with her friends?

Then she proceeds to teach her husband as much Thai as possible. So it's obviously not an issue between the husband and wife.

It's a rare mistake from you Bendix, it would be better for you to hold your hands up than cast aspersions upon this marriage.

[PattayaParent]

In my experience the only Thais who say this are those looking to scam foreigners.

I'd really like to hear a plausible alternative explanation, can't think of one.

Note however the government also considers it a national security issue, at least that's what AUA told me when I asked why they registered my name with the Thai government. Can't imagine that list is maintained with any efficiency, but just the fact they try to keep one. . .

So you're on the Thai government's watch list that they have maybe shared with the CIA?

[dean999]

"She just laughed and said it's not the same thing"

Doesn't this suggest she agrees with her friends?

No she was laughing at me because i said something funny.

She said 'it's not the same thing' because she ment that if Thai's can't speak English then they can't communicate with us. I tried to explain that she was crazy but i was just going round in circles and gave up.

She doesn't agree with her friends as per this line," I would like to add that my wife likes me talking Thai and she teach's me as much as she can."