I've been having this problem for a long time. Some of you might know that I have to save between 5 million to 10 millions bahts within 2 years for our future (my girlfriend's and mine), else the unthinkable will happen - and I don't want it to happen.

Firstly, the problem is my girlfriend can't really think ahead or can't think of the importance of saving money for the future. Her reasoning is that we can't predict what will happen in the future, therefore, she want to enjoy life to the fullest, even if it means miraculously waking up to the next day and finding herself alive but with no money to pay for the meals for that day. Anyone of you whose thai girlfriend has this mindset too? How do you change her mindset? I tried explaining to her about how the economy is not doing well; how prices of daily necessities are going up except for her salary etc. She acknowledges these facts but doesn't seems to care.

Secondly, whenever we get together for a meal, she will order expensive meals that cost 600 bahts in total. Worst of all, she can't finish the food that she ordered.

Thirdly, she loves to buy shirts, dresses and shoes weekly. As a result of that, she uses up her monthly salary within three weeks. She said the things are cheap here so she won't feel the pinch when she buys. However, if you think about it, a little a day makes up a heap. After that, she will ask me for 5000 or 8000 bahts to tide her over. If I don't give it to her, she will call me a stingy person and then borrow from her friends.

What all this problems mean to me is that it will cause me to reach my goal to earn 5 or 10 millions bahts at a slower rate (over the 2 years timeframe). If your thai girlfriend exhibits similar problems like these, please share your experience whether you succeed in changing these sorts of behaviours and mindsets.

Thank you pals!

Tell her to buy gold, Thai's love this and to be fair it's not such a bad way of saving !

stay firm and keep telling her NO on borrowing money from you....then once she decides the grass is greener elsewhere go get yourself a new girlfriend!

I think it's the other way round anyway...what does she buy you out of her salary? you maybe stingy but she sounds very selfish to me!!!

Don't give her any, then she'll hang on to what she's got.

If you keep shelling out time after time, she isn't going to save.

Posts like this are rummy and there are many on here similar. It's almost like to some, having a Thai girlfriend is like having a pet that they need to learn to look after.

Sad.

Give her a budget of so much, when it has gone that is it, no more

Don't give her any, then she'll hang on to what she's got.

If you keep shelling out time after time, she isn't going to save.

Posts like this are rummy and there are many on here similar. It's almost like to some, having a Thai girlfriend is like having a pet that they need to learn to look after.

Sad.

and if you pet them they will only get worse....

pet me for a few months and see how demanding I can get

Firstly, don't worry about her saving, you save with an account in your name.

Secondly, if you are paying the bill, consult with her but then you order the food for both of you (if she pays, she can order)

Thirdly, don't lend her money, don't pay her debts.

Thinking of the future.

In the west those who didn't plan for the winters all died of cold or starvation, those who did lived and reproduced.

In Thailand it is never really cold, and there is always food growing, so those who planned ahead had no reproductive advantage.

I've been having this problem for a long time. Some of you might know that I have to save between 5 million to 10 millions bahts within 2 years for our future (my girlfriend's and mine), else the unthinkable will happen - and I don't want it to happen.

Firstly, the problem is my girlfriend can't really think ahead or can't think of the importance of saving money for the future. Her reasoning is that we can't predict what will happen in the future, therefore, she want to enjoy life to the fullest, even if it means miraculously waking up to the next day and finding herself alive but with no money to pay for the meals for that day. Anyone of you whose thai girlfriend has this mindset too? How do you change her mindset? I tried explaining to her about how the economy is not doing well; how prices of daily necessities are going up except for her salary etc. She acknowledges these facts but doesn't seems to care.

Secondly, whenever we get together for a meal, she will order expensive meals that cost 600 bahts in total. Worst of all, she can't finish the food that she ordered.

Thirdly, she loves to buy shirts, dresses and shoes weekly. As a result of that, she uses up her monthly salary within three weeks. She said the things are cheap here so she won't feel the pinch when she buys. However, if you think about it, a little a day makes up a heap. After that, she will ask me for 5000 or 8000 bahts to tide her over. If I don't give it to her, she will call me a stingy person and then borrow from her friends.

What all this problems mean to me is that it will cause me to reach my goal to earn 5 or 10 millions bahts at a slower rate (over the 2 years timeframe). If your thai girlfriend exhibits similar problems like these, please share your experience whether you succeed in changing these sorts of behaviours and mindsets.

Thank you pals!

Maybe she can predict the future and your not in it !!!!!!

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

this reminds me of a similar problem I had back in the west when I had a lemonade run.

one particular attractive single lady had run up a large bill and I needed paying.

I normally sent the help but he was too scared to ask for settlement of the bill.

anyway, one saturday morning I went to the door myself. I knocked and sure enough she came to the door in a house coat.

when I asked for the settlement of the bill (40 pounds) she pulled the house coat opened and asked me,

" Can you take it out of this?"

I was quiet for a second as I had a look and pondered her proposal. I replied,

"Don't you have anything smaller?"

She promptly paid me but never bought from me again. Shame.

Seems to me your GF is right and you're stingy.

Excluding compound interest saving 10 million in two years works out to 416,666 / month. If you take out 8 thou a month to tide her over you would have to save only 12 days longer to get the ten mil. Big deal or not?

this reminds me of a similar problem I had back in the west when I had a lemonade run.

one particular attractive single lady had run up a large bill and I needed paying.

I normally sent the help but he was too scared to ask for settlement of the bill.

anyway, one saturday morning I went to the door myself. I knocked and sure enough she came to the door in a house coat.

when I asked for the settlement of the bill (40 pounds) she pulled the house coat opened and asked me,

" Can you take it out of this?"

I was quiet for a second as I had a look and pondered her proposal. I replied,

"Don't you have anything smaller?"

She promptly paid me but never bought from me again. Shame.

Nice story. If only it were true...

You need to save between 200,000 baht and 400,000 baht per month respectively to reach your 5 million - 10 million baht target in 2 years.

In this context, I got the impression from the introduction to the thread that the sums your girlfriend are spending are not going to move the dial much.

To put things in perspective, I think you need to put some numbers down on paper.

How much do you earn?

How much does she earn?

How much do you spend?

How much does she spend?

What is the net aggregate saving?

It might be that increasing your income is much easier (and more effective in achieving your overall objective) than changing your girlfriend's spending habits.

I think asking advice on Thai Visa on how to change his girl's habits is bad enough. If you cannot reason with her in any way then there is not much more to be said is there?

.. else the unthinkable will happen ..

I'm sorry - I missed what 'the unthinkable' is. Can you briefly explain?

Simon

I totally agree with those that say give her X amount per month and no more than that. Then you save money in YOUR account for the future. If she decides you are too sticky with your money and leaves at least you have your savings.

When they buy that much food they cannot eat it all I find it annoying. Tell her if she does it again she will pay for her food. Put your foot down now and see where it all leads.

If you do love her and care for her it makes life hard for you now but if you do not put your foot down you can almost guarantee it will be worse for you later.

Think of her as a child, even a spoilt child and treat her as you would that child to correct her ways. Cruel to be kind and all that

I'm sorry - I missed what 'the unthinkable' is. Can you briefly explain?

She'll get a new "job"....

I like her way of living, live for today for tomorrow may never come. she knows all she has to do is wait untill you have your 5/10 millions , then she can really live it up

There is a solution when your partner orders too much food and can't finish her dinner...

You can take her plate and finish off the food, which will embarass her... if she is not embarassed, lick the plate clean... if she is still not embarassed, lick the serving bowls clean...

She will order less next time or dump you... either way, you will save a few baht and be around 0.001% closer to reaching the 10 million baht target

Over ordering food is a very Chinese characteristic ...... Is she Thai-Chinese by any chance?

Does she have a degree?

Are her parents wealthy?

Edited July 6, 201213 yr by TommoPhysicist

Over ordering food is a very Chinese characteristic ...... Is she Thai-Chinese by any chance?

Does she have a degree?

Are her parents wealthy?

I am afraid some will fail to grasp your sarcasm, without reference to this

Over ordering food is a very Chinese characteristic ...... Is she Thai-Chinese by any chance?

Does she have a degree?

Are her parents wealthy?

is it really???

I see it as a characteristic that many Thai people have when someone else is footing the bill....been going on for years!

You have fallen in one of the biggest test a Thai girl does to know if you know how to spend money wisely or just plain stupid. If you are not man enough to control her all your money will be gone. It is not her fault as you gave it to her but yours.

Here is the Thai way.

Later on in dating you will probably want to purchase a gift for her. This will be a money test. One example: when I was dating my wife before we got married, I noticed she needed a good watch. We went to the mall and a reputable watch dealer. Now, I could have bought a very expensive one, but here is what I did. I ask her which one she liked. Of course she picked out a very expensive one (remember this is just a test). I then asked the clerk to see a much cheaper one, which she showed me. I told my date that the cheap watches were not any good. We then looked at medium-price watches and she found one she liked and made the purchase. Now here is the lesson in all this.

If a Thai girl convinces you to make an expensive purchase when it is not necessary, she thinks you spend way too much money. If you make a cheap purchase, she will think you are stingy. If you make the right purchase, she will know you know how to spend your money wisely. She will never marry a man who throws money away or a man who has no money or is cheap.

Asking for money

Here is one trap most Western men fall into, and again, this is another test. My wife never did this, but I was one step ahead of her, so she didn't have to. At some time in the courtship she will say something like, "My parents need a new roof for their house, as it leaks when it rains," or, "We have no indoor plumbing in our house in the village. Can you help us?" or maybe, "My father's motorbike broke down and he needs a new one." Let's think about this one carefully. Okay, she now knows you might love her or at least like her a lot or you wouldn't be spending this much time with her. Now she is performing the biggest test of all--seeing how stupid you are.

Most of the Western men I know would give her the money because they want to help. This is the biggest mistake you can do. DO NOT give her any money for anything!!! Your reply should be, "Let's go to your parents house and see what they need and maybe I can help." This is not only wise but also what she wants to hear. She will have one of two replies. If her parents really don't need the money, she will just laugh, probably give you a hug, and change the subject, no more said for now. Don't bring up the subject again; remember, this is just a test. If they do need the money for the purposes she mentioned, she will say okay.

Now one of three things will happen.

If she just wanted you for your money, she will see you saw right through her objective and will avoid you. Another is she will take you to her parent's house and you will see her parents don't need anything from you and that this was just a test. Third, you will visit her village and parents and see what they need. Now this is very important and happens mainly with bar girls. If you just give her the money she asks for, she will take it for sure. Not only that, but she will keep asking for more as long as you keep giving it to her. You are now her cash cow, and remember, she didn't take it from you: you were more than willing to give it to her. I hear many stories from Western men who say, "This girl stole my money." No, you were stupid enough to give it to her without checking to see if her stories were true. Remember, these are tests to see if you are wise, thrifty, kind, and considerate, or just plain stupid. A traditional Thai girl would not take the money but just smile or laugh as mentioned previously.

Be wise, informed and smart. Think with the big head not the small one between your legs.

Randy

If i remember right AngelOfDeath posted a little bit ago that his GF requested him to give her a few million baht+business+house for parents in 2years or she'd leave him

You can try giving her an incentive, if she saves a certain amount every month you can match it or give her a certain percentage etc...

I think asking advice on Thai Visa on how to change his girl's habits is bad enough. If you cannot reason with her in any way then there is not much more to be said is there?

Yep, the girl is not going to change her habits on her own and any thoughts of using reason is laughable.

You can try giving her an incentive, if she saves a certain amount every month you can match it or give her a certain percentage etc...

To late she already knows he cannot manage money.

Another view can be that GF comes from a poor background and learned to live day to day and has not adjusted.

Lock her in the house.But if you really want to save money dont have a thai gf.

Best idea. Cost of a Thai gf is 2:1. However much it costs the OP to live alone he should expect to pay an additional 2 times as much. This is in no way an absolute but it is not far off being one.

Another view can be that GF comes from a poor background and learned to live day to day and has not adjusted.

Most poor girls have been married before and their husbands left them once they had children. I have been working with Christian organizations to help single mothers. The main problem is there is no child support law here. A man can have children and just leave. There has been a large number of Thai ladies now who have children from westerners who leave them when they become pregnant. The guy know they will not be punished so they just find a new girlfriend or move on.

Until there is a child support law this will continue, sad to say. I have talked to lawmakers but the men don't want to hear it as I am sure they have fathered children they don't want to take care of. Women who run for office tell me if they run on this platform they will loose as the men are in control.

It is very difficult to stop this problem. Please help support a law that stops dead beat dads as the children are the worst sufferers not just the mothers.

Kind regards,

Randy

this topic should rather sound "How Do You Get Your Thai Girlfriend To Save YOUR Money?"

Edited July 6, 201213 yr by metisdead
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