WebBangkok Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Hi, Some of you may of read one of my earlier topics about my father inlaw staying with us for awhile as his girlfriend gambled a lot of his money away and he just walked out on her and is staying at our place for awhile. He is only there a few days a week and spends time at his friends house as he is looking for a new place to live/buy. But, recently he has being saying things to my wife which I do not like and have no idea why he would say things like this. I go see clients for my work, a lot of them like to drink and sometimes I come home at 2am pissed as a fart. (last night was big night out with one) So wifey got home yesterday and her father said that he thinks I am going out meeting girls and not clients. He has said this twice to her, he said it last week. She obviously tells him no, as she knows I go see clients. But it sort of really pisses me off, this morning I didnt wai him at all and did even look at him. I was actually going to say something but thought I better just button it up for now. Think it through first. The thing is, I think he thinks this, is because he did it to his ex-wife (My wifes mother) and she divorced him many years ago. So maybe he thinks this because thats what he would do lol... I can't boot him out of the house because the house is my wifes, I know the wifey won't boot him out because its her father, she just tells him off. SO what would you do? You think its wise for me to confront him about it or just ignore it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
talk2sam Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 You can help him look for an apartment to rent... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
smokie36 Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 You can help him look for an apartment to rent... Wise answer...unless you want a massive bustup with your wife. I wouldn't wai him again though...or any other sleazy <deleted>. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Take him out on one of the client meets to see for himself. Perhaps he will come back with you drunk and he can say to the wife we were with clients. //edit - seriously, I would discuss it further with the wife your feelings and how bad it is and see if she will take the ball and run with it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadingo Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 It is always hard to know what to do with the stirrers. If you protest too much you will look guilty. If you do not protest you will look guilty. So i would have a word with the wife to make sure she is OK and happy that you are doing what you say. As for the old man. I'd start to ignore him too. If anything is said about that I'd then explain my reasons 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post WebBangkok Posted July 20, 2012 Author Popular Post Share Posted July 20, 2012 Her answer was "Forget him, he is just a f@#kwit" lol 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tywais Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Her answer was "Forget him, he is just a f@#kwit" lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarnpot Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I suggest you ask him to let you put your feet on his head. It is a sign of great respect and ought to get the status quo back 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlyAnimal Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 bah he's just trying to look out for his daughter As regardless of what the truth is, he thinks that you might be cheating, of course he doesn't know for sure otherwise he'd have maybe confronted you directly, but he's just trying to do the right thing if your daughter was living with her husband, and you thought that her husband was cheating on her, you'd probably mention the same thing as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxme Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 bah he's just trying to look out for his daughter As regardless of what the truth is, he thinks that you might be cheating, of course he doesn't know for sure otherwise he'd have maybe confronted you directly, but he's just trying to do the right thing if your daughter was living with her husband, and you thought that her husband was cheating on her, you'd probably mention the same thing as well True but a good father would not even try to barge into their lives like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurwait Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Her answer was "Forget him, he is just a f@#kwit" lol Ha ha. She took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to say take him with you, but he sounds a right fuc_kwit. Take your wife instead either to stay the duration or say you were taking her into town to go shopping or a meal later. Oh and I know people will say it's Thai culture, but stop the waiing parents everyday. Just do it when going away for a few days and when you come back. It's arse licking in reality and sets a heirachy (SP?) that shows whose boss and who has to always respect the elders opinion which will always be the right one. I was told to do it everytime I saw my mother in law when I first came here and it was always her opinion that was always right and the only one, along with my wifes aunts, that my wife took notice of. I got fuc_ked off with this and stopped waiing her and soon after it all changed and we are all much happier now. Although we get told to do it as it's part of Thai culture, no one respects an arse licker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelmann Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I really dont see the problem, tell him if it happens again he will be getting a new home faster than he thinks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Rent a new condo yourself and move into it. They should both get the hint pretty fast. If they don't, as her father has already pointed out, plenty more girls around. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthepink Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) Her answer was "Forget him, he is just a f@#kwit" lol Ha ha. She took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to say take him with you, but he sounds a right fuc_kwit. Take your wife instead either to stay the duration or say you were taking her into town to go shopping or a meal later. Oh and I know people will say it's Thai culture, but stop the waiing parents everyday. Just do it when going away for a few days and when you come back. It's arse licking in reality and sets a heirachy (SP?) that shows whose boss and who has to always respect the elders opinion which will always be the right one. I was told to do it everytime I saw my mother in law when I first came here and it was always her opinion that was always right and the only one, along with my wifes aunts, that my wife took notice of. I got fuc_ked off with this and stopped waiing her and soon after it all changed and we are all much happier now. Although we get told to do it as it's part of Thai culture, no one respects an arse licker. This is quite true, You don't need to keep waiing somebody every morning if you are living in the same house. Edited July 20, 2012 by inthepink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hotandhumid Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 You usually wai him? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WebBangkok Posted July 20, 2012 Author Share Posted July 20, 2012 You usually wai him? Yeah I do everytime I see the parents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mca Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I can't boot him out of the house because the house is my wifes, I know what you're saying mate but it's your house as well. It's your house as part of a normal husband/wife relationship.If I were you I'd tell your wife you find her dad's comments unacceptable under your roof and if he keeps them up then he's out. As you said you were out with clients therefore I assume you're the main breadwinner in the house. Throw in the little nugget that you're out providing for your family and he's accusing you of infidelity which you find highly offensive. No need to be argumentative is there? Just point out the facts. See where that goes. .Being brutally frank ( and not aimed at your actions so far OP)I'd be damned if a guest in my house treated me with such disrespect FIL or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aussiebebe Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) I can't boot him out of the house because the house is my wifes Reason no.25 why I've never regretted buying a condo....good luck to you mate, I couldn't live like that. You could find him somewhere to stay but probably end up footing the bill. Edited July 20, 2012 by aussiebebe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrRealDeal Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Tell your wife to stop gossiping about her personal bisness with her father to you , he won't stop doing it but you won't have to hear about it either. Tell her if her father doesnt have anything nice to say about you you don't want to hear it, especially since her personal conversations are not really any of your bisness anyhow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 "Pissing it up with clients darling, honest." I will fly that one past Mrs NL the next time I have a rake around the fleshpots and let you know how I get on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trainman34014 Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Leave it to Wifey; it's her Father and she knows best how to deal with him. Of course; you could try arriving home earlier and not pissed as a fart so often...reckon that might help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 He has plans of taking over your household via his authority over your mrs. . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mjj Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Put his tooth brush round your rim. I have no time for backstabbers like that. Wife's uncle starting doing backstabbing shit. I don't wai him anymore or even say sawadee kap. If he wai's or says sawadee kap to me, my hands are in my pockets and he gets a condescending kap. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Morakot Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 Oh and I know people will say it's Thai culture, but stop the waiing parents everyday. Just do it when going away for a few days and when you come back. It's arse licking in reality and sets a heirachy (SP?) that shows whose boss and who has to always respect the elders opinion which will always be the right one. I was told to do it everytime I saw my mother in law when I first came here and it was always her opinion that was always right and the only one, along with my wifes aunts, that my wife took notice of. I got fuc_ked off with this and stopped waiing her and soon after it all changed and we are all much happier now. This is quite true, You don't need to keep waiing somebody every morning if you are living in the same house. The old man probably thought why does the son in law keep apologising every morning and concluded that he must feel guilty about something... construing that he is cheating on his daughter as he always keeps coming back so late. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vtjforyou Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 If the wife doesn't tell him to leave I would leave myself ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SlyAnimal Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 (edited) You usually wai him? Yeah I do everytime I see the parents. lol Does your gf wai him every day? Probably not? When I first visited my gf's house I wai'd her mother and said sawatdee karp After we were "officially" going out (eg after the gossip got out that we werent just friends lol), I would wai her mother and say sawatdee karp Khun maea Since I've moved into the house, she might get a good afternoon/morning once a week lol but usually just a tau lai karp as I buy a coke from her shop (she's naturally a very quiet person) So yeah, what I'm saying, is it was probably about time you stopped waiing him anyway, since you live together. In general, to adhere to thai culture, just do what your gf does Edited July 20, 2012 by SlyAnimal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pigeonjake Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 in thailand, you also get respect for standing up for yourself, i dont like my father in law, my wife knows it so does mama, but there ok with it, i say hes lazy, and they both agree with me and just say what can they do, he like this all the time, he gets nothing off me, now i know what we give mama some must go to him, but i dont give him it direct, i dont bother him he dosnt bother me,,lol but me wife and mama allways have a good laugh together on the farm, but every situation different, this is just mine, jake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beetlejuice Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I don`t blame your father-in-law for his concerns and to understand one has to be a parent. I have a 27-year-old daughter and if she were married or had a partner who was staying out to all hours of the night and arriving home as drunk as a skunk, than I too would be highly sceptical that this was work related. Would be interested to know where and what is your line of work that involves heavy drinking and entertaining clients up to 2.00 am? The wise man says; You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. That’s my philosophy unless convinced otherwise. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 I don`t blame your father-in-law for his concerns and to understand one has to be a parent. I have a 27-year-old daughter and if she were married or had a partner who was staying out to all hours of the night and arriving home as drunk as a skunk, than I too would be highly sceptical that this was work related. Would be interested to know where and what is your line of work that involves heavy drinking and entertaining clients up to 2.00 am? The wise man says; You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time. That’s my philosophy unless convinced otherwise. I make Beetlejuice right on this one. It does look very suspicious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MJP Posted July 20, 2012 Share Posted July 20, 2012 in thailand, you also get respect for standing up for yourself, i dont like my father in law, my wife knows it so does mama, but there ok with it, i say hes lazy, and they both agree with me and just say what can they do, he like this all the time, he gets nothing off me, now i know what we give mama some must go to him, but i dont give him it direct, i dont bother him he dosnt bother me,,lol but me wife and mama allways have a good laugh together on the farm, but every situation different, this is just mine, jake No, most of these situations are like that. FIL is a waste of clothes, MIL is a saint. Same, same. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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