Thai Funeral

[Jersey Jim]

Can someone please give me some advice about Thai funerals

my girl friends father has just died the funeral will be on 3rd Feb I am arriving in Bangkok on the 1st and will travel to her home town from the airport this is Burrirum. What should I wear for the funeral? Will I be expected to take anything for the family, there are only sisters involved as her mother died some years ago. Three of her sisters are married to Thai husbands and one is younger and still single. Can anyone advise me what sort of expenses are involved and would I as a Farang boyfriend be expected to pay?

Hope somebody can help.

Jersey Jim

[khunlungphudhu]

Attended the funeral of my last sister-in-law only last Sunday.

You make a donation, in an envolope with your name on, and the level of donation is entirely up to you, bearing in mind what you can afford, your 'position' within the family, and the circumstances of the family itself.

I wore a white T-shirt and off white chinos, and was told that a plain red shirt would have been acceptable, black is fairly uncommon, though closer family are taking it up. Most poorer families do not have special or 'best' clothes, so, generally speaking, clean and tidy is the by word.

As to what to do, the ceremonies appear to vary a great deal around the country, so keep your lady close to hand and follow her guidance.

And, strange as this may sound, I found the whole thing to be a moving but enjoyable experience, a fine way to say farewell.

[Neeranam]

A lot depends on the financial and social status of the gf's family.

You may be expected to pay - but I'd tell them to get stuffed - if they can't afford a funeral for their own father there is something wrong.

[Morden]

I assume that the family are Buddhist. At the funeral I attended recently the family and friends dressed as smartly as they could afford. My wife suggested that if I wore black and/or white it would go down well so I wore a white shirt (not t-shirt in my case) and black trousers. Shorts are probably a no no.

Something like 200 baht in an envelope would go down well. It's unlikely that you will be asked to contribute a substantial amount if you're not married into the family, not that Thai funerals are expensive. I guess that, even if you are asked for more money, you are too polite to follow the previous rather rude advice to 'tell them to get stuffed'.

Thai Buddhist funerals are quite happy affairs. Shows of grief are usually kept private within the family but you might expect a few at the moment the coffin goes into the furnace. As suggested, stay with your girlfirend and she will explain what's happening. In fact, most of the time nothing is happening except talking and eating.

It's good of you to make the trip. The family will respect you greatly for taking the trouble.

[Jersey Jim]

I assume that the family are Buddhist. At the funeral I attended recently the family and friends dressed as smartly as they could afford. My wife suggested that if I wore black and/or white it would go down well so I wore a white shirt (not t-shirt in my case) and black trousers. Shorts are probably a no no.

Something like 200 baht in an envelope would go down well. It's unlikely that you will be asked to contribute a substantial amount if you're not married into the family, not that Thai funerals are expensive. I guess that, even if you are asked for more money, you are too polite to follow the previous rather rude advice to 'tell them to get stuffed'.

Thai Buddhist funerals are quite happy affairs. Shows of grief are usually kept private within the family but you might expect a few at the moment the coffin goes into the furnace. As suggested, stay with your girlfirend and she will explain what's happening. In fact, most of the time nothing is happening except talking and eating.

It's good of you to make the trip. The family will respect you greatly for taking the trouble.

Thanks for the response it has been very helpful yes the family are Buddhist and I would obviously like to be respectful to the family etc etc

Jersey Jim

Attended the funeral of my last sister-in-law only last Sunday.

You make a donation, in an envolope with your name on, and the level of donation is entirely up to you, bearing in mind what you can afford, your 'position' within the family, and the circumstances of the family itself.

I wore a white T-shirt and off white chinos, and was told that a plain red shirt would have been acceptable, black is fairly uncommon, though closer family are taking it up. Most poorer families do not have special or 'best' clothes, so, generally speaking, clean and tidy is the by word.

As to what to do, the ceremonies appear to vary a great deal around the country, so keep your lady close to hand and follow her guidance.

And, strange as this may sound, I found the whole thing to be a moving but enjoyable experience, a fine way to say farewell.

Thanks for the information it has been very helpful

Jersey Jim

[lopburi3]

The basic colors are black and white. Otherwise any darker clothing should be fine. There will be all kinds but remember many people have no choice. As a foreigner you will be expected to be able to afford a shirt (not t-shirt) and long pants. The donation in an envelope can be done by your GF rather than you and as said several hundred baht will probably be on the high side upcountry. The sisters are going to have to pay and they will make an agreement among themselves as to who pays what. The total bill will likely be in the 30k baht range if they do not overdo things (the sight of a foreigner may signal pressure to do just that however). Anything you pay would be between you and your GF and toward her share in the pooled payment.