Attitude Towards Gay People?

[anilorak]

Hi,

Me and my girlfriend are considering moving to Thailand. We're looking into the possibility to run a small business in the Hua Hin area. We've visited Thailand several times together but then on vacations. My 2 year old daughter will come with us.

Now to my question...what reactions should we expect from thai people? I've understood that Thais are quite open-minded towards gay people - is that your opinion - and does that include gay women and the fact that we (I) have a child?

I'm used to meet people with questions and opinions but so far that haven't been a problem.

I'm not telling everyone everyday that I'm gay, but in most situations I'm open about it.

Thanks very much for your help!!

[Ijustwannateach]

What I've heard from lesbian couples in other Asian countries probably applies here: Unless you are having sex in front of them they will not consciously speculate on that aspect of your relationship. Women can get away with much closer relationships than men can without arousing suspicion, curiousity, and unwelcome reactions. That said, even if it does become openly known, chances are discrimination per se, if any, will be very subtle and low key.

"Steven"

[Buki]

Hi Anilorak. Welcome to the forum. I am also new here in Thailand. But before I left my home country, I had a preconcieved notion that thais are more open to gay people and gay relationship. It is quite true to some extent. However, there are some people who still doesn't understand us gay people. But the good things is that they might not be for it but they tolerate it. As for your case, it would be easier to get away with it. Don't worry so much about it, but the only worry would be when your little girl would start her schooling. I have friend who has lesbian couple friends who adopted a child, maybe they can share some infos about it.

[americana]

Thais are so friendly and the vast majority don't hold those kind of prejudices, you will be fine

[DUMPSTER]

Absolutely agree with americana. Where I live there are hundreds of lesbians, alot more than gay guys, and many live happily together. At my school there must be atleast 300 lebians in relationships and nobody gives a ######. There are a few female teachers who are out and in relationships too.

[anilorak]

Thanks for your replies!

Comforting to hear you opinions!

Lot's of things to think about before we can move, but these kinds of question feels very important to think about before we move on to more practical things....

[ProThaiExpat]

I have seen many more "out there" Thai lesbian couples in Thailand, Chiang Mai mostly, than in the U.S. and I include Providence Town.

In fact, the "butch" one looks more like a man than many Thai straight men do and they hold hands, nuzzle and otherwise act like any other hetero couple out on a date, in fact probably more affectionate for "show" than the average couple.

A sub-text question in my mind is, compare gay men as a couple and a lesbian couple and rate their acceptance in Thailand?

In the U.S., lesbian couples are far more accepted by the straight world than a gay couple, in my view. Can't make that judgement for Thailand, I just don't know.

I have no interest in integrating into the Thai culture so pay little attention 5o what Thais mqy think of my lifemate and me. Probably they think more of what an odd couple we make than about our being gay. We are treated respectfully and without discrimination as "gays", whether that is actual respect or feigned due to the Thais cultural mai pen rai.

[jdinasia]

I Lived in Hua Hin a couple of years ago. Noone gave a flying f%$# about me being gay. The only crap me and my Thai partner got was subtle and from BKK Thais down there on vacation. The 2 times it bothered him I made into a joke by walking up and asking them about houses for sale in the area and when answered gave them one of my friend's cards asking them to e-mail if they heard of something.

However, 2 foriegners in a relationship .... you'll not get any reaction at all 99% of the time. If you live around Thais they WILL be gossiping a bit about you, but it won't be in a nasty vindictive way.

[Hmmm]

I suggest you look into this carefully and read everything you can find about Thai attitudes to LESBIANS. It is NOT the same as the relative tolerance (not acceptance) of male homosexuality.

Perhaps you should contact the Thai lesbian organization Anjaree. It has been said that Thai lesbians are more disposed towards gay activism than the seemingly complacent male gays because lesbians are more discriminated against.

I am in the rather unusual situation of having a gay Thai boyfriend whose sister is also gay. He is totally accepted by family and friends - she was driven out of the family when she came out. Her daughter (from a previous failed straight marriage to a lousy husband) was basically taken away from her by the family. I have tried to talk to my boyfriend about this, but he cannot accept her (monogamous) lifestyle. He loved his sister greatly, and the whole thing has obviously hurt him deeply (let alone her), but he totally refuses to see any contradiction between the acceptance of his sexuality and the family's treatment of his sister.

I knew lesbians were not well accepted in Thailand, but I was totally shocked by the strength of their feelings.

As others have said, lesbians are quite visible in Thailand, or at least the "toms" are (similar to western butch) - the feminine "dees" obviously blend in more. As far as I know, Thai lesbian couples are usually (maybe always ?) tom / dee pairings. But this visibility does not mean they are accepted. I had noticed the bigoted attitude towards Thai lesbians by my boyfriend (before he knew his sister was gay) and other Thais.

Academic treatises on Thai gay issues are 99% male, but there are a few on Thai lesbianism ...

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/082482852...opiasoutheasasA

http://www.haworthpress.com/store/ArticleA...XD7MH0&ID=69296

I would think that Thai attitudes to farang lesbians is an almost totally unexplored area.

Good luck !

[anilorak]

Thanks very much for your post, even though it didn't make me happy... I read the first article.

I'm not that surprised that women are more discriminated against than men, since that's the case everywhere. However, I didn't beleive it was that bad.

I can live with questions, some comments etc...the problem is if my daughter would get many bad comments about her family! In general we're very well treated in Europe, in general people do not realize we're gay and I don't scream it out loud everyday. And when I tell them, or when my daughter starts to tell them, people don't generally have a problem with it, except some who don't like the fact that we have a child. But of course I can't live in Thailand if the situations is not good for her.

I guess we'll have to find out what it's like and then decide!

[jdinasia]

Coming and seeing for yourself makse a lot of sense. I have watched the treatment of lesbian couples including the manager of my last condo complex and a couple in my new building. My personal belief based upon observation is that there is little or no overt discrimination against lesbians here.

I do however believe that when you look at G/L issues in Thailand ... well more often than not families still expect the boys to marry even if they step out ..... Seems less likely that a woman that is known to be a Tom at least will ever fulfill the families expectations ((Same with overt kathoey))

[astral]

Me and my girlfriend are considering moving to Thailand. We're looking into the possibility to run a small business in the Hua Hin area.

I hope you have done your homework on visas/work permits/investment etc?

As a gay couple you will both have to stand on your own feet.

The Thai government does not recognise any such relationships..........