Mia Noi ?

[chrisinth]

One Thai wife is enough!! why punish yourself with more?

Makes you wonder what the big appeal for 72 virgins is in some circles...............

[chrisinth]

I have 2 girlfriends, but I keep them well apart, 1 in Thailand and 1 in Bali!

Don't let either of them know what your TV username is or read the General Topics....................

[macksview]

my wife told me i can never have a mia noi, but i could have a set of 18 year old lao female twins as housekeepers when i reach 70 years of age, i asked why 70 years of age, her reply " i will be too old look for you when you leave the house and get lost", love her logic.

[chrisinth]

Sadly, I'm not wealthy enough to afford a Mia Noi ... .

sadly, my wife does not approve of a mia noi...

Donot tell the wife or just get a gik.

what is a "gik"?

Mia Noi in training.............

[macksview]

having had various alleged mia nois, from the local area, pointed out to me by the wife, the standard isnt too high in the looks department, mind you we are not talking rich men and mia nois, more like a lo-so find a spare on the side and slip her a few baht a month.

the wife, of a senior government engineer, was complaining to my wife and the MIL, about finding out about her husbands second mia noi, she knew about the first but had only recently been told of the new one.

who gave the engineer up, the encumbent mia noi.

[chrisinth]

My problem with the Mia Noi thing is that while it can (and does) work, there will be a time when Mia gets jealous, wrong time of the month, whatever and it could be "feed the ducks" time.

My biggest fear of this is becoming as forgetful as women and not lifting the toilet seat after a pee.............

[chrisinth]

The questions should be, how many of you can actually afford to have mistresses or illicit affairs in Thailand, other than going short time on the commercial sex scene?

This practice of having a partner or a bit on the side was probably not unusual 20 or so years ago, but these days the fairer sex is one of the most expensive commodities in Thailand and the luxury of being able to afford more than one partner is not going to be possible for the majority of us.

For these reasons I very much doubt if Mia Nos or sometimes described as second wives are all that common these days, whether the official wife knows about it or not.

Dream on, baby.

My misses is still trying to get me to marry her sister (and we will all live together).

And I'm not loaded.

They obviously just want you for sex!

And enthralling viewpoints on widespread subjects............

[Pormax]

From what I hear in our little rural village a Mia Noi is a common thing with the Thai men and the wives though not maybe like it, accept this.

My Thai brother-in-law is working in Pattaya, while his wife stays in the village, he has a Mia Noi who is also from this village, and works in Pattaya too, is (or was) a good friend of the man's wife. The Mia Noi also has 3 Farangs that send her money every month.The family and everyone in the village knows about these goings on and seem to accept it as part of life. The problem the wife has is that she is left short of money and has to care for his 3 children. She won't do him harm or kick him out as she has little chance of finding a new man to take care of her and the children and needs him to pay the bank loan for the mini-bus etc.

The same thing happens in the UK but the men or ladies are much more discreet and don't tend to sh*t on their own doorstep.

I personally am very happy with my wife who caters for all my needs, alsop I do not wish to wake up with a body part missing which I am positive would happen if I even attempted to have a bit on the side.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The ethics of this are of course up to each of us to decide.

My POV is that since the mia noi relationship is usually significantly more expensive than more casual relationships, it's only necessary to have that level of commitment when you want the girl to stick around long-term and have some sense of security. In the past I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang, and other than the expense factor, found it a great modus operandi.

From the practical side, the main advantage is it self-filters out those girls looking for the ultimate "game over" sort of commitment, they've heard rumors that farang are more likely to promise full-on lifetime monogamy, but I'm honest enough with myself and them as well that I realize this is impossible for me.

Personally I don't think that's even a worthwhile goal, and in fact even the mia noi arrangement is more complicated than what I now consider ideal.

[Morakot]

I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang

Wouldn't that be called gikking around?

Edited October 19, 2012 by Morakot

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang

Wouldn't that be called gikking around?

My understanding is that that term's reserved for the more casual "friend with benefits" style of relationship, zero commitments, and not necessarily with (much) money involved.

Whereas a mia noi is usually supported to at least some extent by her husband/sponsor, and is usually expected at least ostensibly to be faithful to the man - in reality of course usually isn't, and ethically I wouldn't expect that myself.

Closest English word is mistress, which of course isn't used that much anymore.

Of course there is a continuum of commitment/support without corresponding terms defined between the two categories.

[Morakot]

Here a random definition:

A mistress is a long-term female lover and companion who is not married to her partner; the term is used especially when her partner is married.

[maprao]

Too many problems with a mia noi ..... be happy with the wife.........then when opportunity presents itself just become a monger for a short period (in some cases, as in mine, become a monger again!!)

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Here a random definition:

A mistress is a long-term female lover and companion who is not married to her partner; the term is used especially when her partner is married.

Exactly, and although this term sometimes (used to be) used in English for more casual relationships, the key aspect here that IMO causes it to correspond to mia noi, as opposed to giik, is "long term". Companion is another.

"Kept woman" is another, albeit disparaging semi-equivalent, which implies the transactional side of things more strongly.

Giik doesn't imply any of these aspects, the emphasis there is on the *lack* of serious commitment in both directions.

[Krupnik]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

How any woman can accept it is just beyond me.

[Morakot]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

Who? Your husband? Hope he reads this forum; well actually, hope he doesn't read it. Otherwise you might find him missing.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

How any woman can accept it is just beyond me.

How anyone can expect monogamy from a healthy and reasonably attractive member of the human species is beyond me.

Thai (most non-Christian) culture is just much more pragmatic and realistic.

Some people are psychotically jealous of course in all cultures, but IMO it's not a virtue, an open and honest relationship has much greater chance of lasting. . .

[Semper]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

How any woman can accept it is just beyond me.

Welcome to Thailand.

[Krupnik]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

Who? Your husband? Hope he reads this forum; well actually, hope he doesn't read it. Otherwise you might find him missing.

He is already aware of my feelings about a mia noi so it makes no difference if he does read it.

[noob7]

I've had multiple mia noi without having any mia luang

Wouldn't that be called gikking around?

I approve that!

[Morakot]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

Who? Your husband? Hope he reads this forum; well actually, hope he doesn't read it. Otherwise you might find him missing.

He is already aware of my feelings about a mia noi so it makes no difference if he does read it.

Sounds like a healthy relationship to clarify positions and feelings, in contrast to the idea to physically mutilate one's spouse for the emotional trauma he could inflicted upon one.

Edited October 19, 2012 by Morakot

[noob7]

If he has a mia noi he will find himself with a missing body part too.

How any woman can accept it is just beyond me.

Welcome to Thailand!

The main part for this:

The Mia luang is not gone loose the protection of being a wife!

And sharing the husband, without loosing the protection for the family and the status is important.

Also: in Thailand, the sex drive of the men is (called) uncontrollable! So get, what you need, but still take care your kids and wife!

[rgs2001uk]

I don't care how many rich people there are anywhere,as long as I have enough that's all I worry about,I don't see what shopping malls and sales of Mercedes cars has to do with the opening post about wether you a foreigner living in Thailand have or want a Mia noi that's all

Rich Thai guys have Mia nois. Poor Thai guys don't have Mia nois. There are more rich Thai guys in Thailand today than 20 years ago. So there are more ex Mia nois running around now then there were 20 years ago. Who is going to take care of the ex Mia nois? If the Farang can get over their Western moral thing maybe them.

Beetlejuice wrote, " This practice of having a partner or a bit on the side was probably not unusual 20 or so years ago, but these days the fairer sex is one of the most expensive commodities in Thailand and the luxury of being able to afford more than one partner is not going to be possible for the majority of us."

I don't agree with that as there is more disposable income among Thai men today then there was 20 years ago.

"Poor Thai guys don't have Mia nois."

Well that depends on what you define as a mia noi and how you define poor.

Case #1. Thai guy works for revenue dept, makes about 15k per month, has 5 kids by two different women, spends his time going back and forward between them both, both women are aware of the situation.

Case #2. Thai guy working as delivery driver in Bkk, makes about 12k per month,wife lives with children in Surin living with the guys mother, guy living openly with another woman here in Bkk, dont know if the main wife knows or not, however the minor wife is aware of the situation.

Case #3. Thai labourer makes 300 baht per day doing construction work, his wife lives in Buriram looking after the grandkids while the daughter works in Pattaya. This guy is living with the minor wife on construction sites in Bkk, minor wife knows of the situation and accepts it.

Case #4. Thai guy works as bodyguard for an MP (dont know salary) the major wife lives with his 4 children in his fathers house, looking after the father and the children. The guy lives with a well off woman in Lat Prao, the woman showers the guy with gifts.

I can only assume BJ is confusing a mia noi with a mia chao, the cheapest I know of for a mia chao in Bkk is 20k per month, thats 5k rental for the apt and 15k pocket money for the woman.

When the relationship goes belly up the guy moves on and stops paying the rent, everything is in the womans name, these Thai guys aint dumb, they aint buying condos in the womans name.

The above is also the going rate for a university student being sponsored by an older guy, the Ramkhamhaeng area is littered with them.

Fashion Island also has its fair share of these arrangements.

These woman would of course be mortified to be referred to as prostitutes.

There used to be a bar in Soi Cowboy full of them.

There used to be a snooker hall in Suk soi 71 full of them,they were working as markees.

Personally I dont think it has anything to do with income when referring to a mia noi, a mia chao of course dont come for free.

[meatballs]

My wife would kill me if she caught me with another lady. So much for the common belief that a mia noi is "okay" with the wifey..

[Scully]

The wife and the mia noi would have to become good friends at some point, this way their menstrual cycles could synchronize.

Otherwise no benefits whatsoever

[Beetlejuice]

Do mia nois ever do promotions? Such as, hire for 3 months and get 1 month free?

[Semper]

Do mia nois ever do promotions? Such as, hire for 3 months and get 1 month free?

Yes, when they have a bf/husband working overseas.

[noob7]

Do mia nois ever do promotions? Such as, hire for 3 months and get 1 month free?

Sure they do: You hire 3 month, they do 4 weeks of this 3 month as paid holiday!

[chiangmaikelly]

Do mia nois ever do promotions? Such as, hire for 3 months and get 1 month free?

I think you may be confusing prostitution with the venerable institution of Mia noism.

[BillyBobThai]

I will never allow the wife to raise ducks or keep sharp knives in the house...