Why Are They Staring At Me?!?!?

[mrbleu]

I would like some insight from Thais.

Many foreigners complain about Thais staring at them, but my situation is a little different from most; I was born and raised in the US but I am ethnic Korean yet Thais stare at me. I wouldn’t mind so much if it were cute girls but it’s Always Thai males.

In a country where guys can wear make-up and dresses and not be noticed, why I would deserve any special attention. I’ve been working and living in Thailand for almost four years and most of the time I’m able to brush it off but it’s starting to weigh on me and I find myself getting more and more agitated.

For Thais that don’t understand Western etiquette, when a male stares at another unknown male, it is an invitation for conflict. I assume this is true in Thailand as well.

I don’t think there is anything about me that stands out; I’m in my mid-30’s, 178cm tall, thin build, fairly light skinned (but not pale), t-shirt and (not skinny) jeans type of guy. Any insight or thoughts? Has any other non-Thai Asians experienced this?

[Semper]

If you post a pic of yourself, you might get some helpful answers.

Edited October 20, 2012 by Semper

[mrbleu]

If you post a pic of yourself, you might get some usable answers.

[soi41]

Don't worry. You get the stares, because you look like a younger Abhisit

[TomTao]

Maybe it got to do with the current craze for all things Korean that is in Thailand at the moment.

Sent from my GT-I9003

[I Like Thai]

They cannot make eye contact with you if you don't make eye contact with them. You are so nervous of this situation that when you go out, you are the one that is initiating the stares. The Thais see you looking at them and stare back probably thinking "why is that guy staring at me". My advise is for you to stop looking to see who is looking at you, then the problem will go away.

[meatballs]

People of Korean extraction always kind of look unique to me. I'm sure they can tell you aren't Thai.

I'm American too but people give me a strange look and say I don't look like it. They say I look Russian or something.

[transam]

If you post a pic of yourself, you might get some usable answers.

Yep, it's the boggy on the end of your nose. ...............................

[ripstanley]

They think you may start singing Gangnam Style

[Jingthing]

My theory is that you look Asian of course, so close enough that you COULD be Thai, yet as a Korean American I'm sure you don't act or walk like a typical Thai, so they are just curious about what you are.

I could be wrong but I also don't think that staring at curiosities is really seen as aggression/confrontational by Thais.

Edited October 20, 2012 by Jingthing

[Semper]

If you post a pic of yourself, you might get some usable answers.

Maybe they got the hots for you? I mean, you look like a very handsome man compared to me.

[george]

Because the Thais think you are an Alien.

[IMA_FARANG]

This doesn't apply to me but do you realise that Korean pop (K Pop) music is the cool thing in Thailand now among the Thai university and slightly younger female set right now?

So being Korean in Thailand....even a Korean American guy and in your 20's to 30's makes you highly desireable and/or collectable among Thai females of the same age.

You're a hot commodity....make use of your desired status.

P.S. I know of what I speak. I've got a 20 year old Thai grand daughter, and anything Korean looking is "dreamy cool" according to her and her school friends.

K Pop is playing on our family television at least half of every day.

I don't much care for the music, but there are some very good looking women dancers.

Edited October 20, 2012 by IMA_FARANG

[mrbleu]

I was hoping for some input from Thais.

They cannot make eye contact with you if you don't make eye contact with them. You are so nervous of this situation that when you go out, you are the one that is initiating the stares. The Thais see you looking at them and stare back probably thinking "why is that guy staring at me". My advise is for you to stop looking to see who is looking at you, then the problem will go away.

One might assume so but that isn't the case; they are the ones that initiates the spaghetti-western stare-downs.

[arthurwait]

Do your flies up.

[mrbleu]

This doesn't apply to me but do you realise that Korean pop (K Pop) music is the cool thing in Thailand now among the Thai university and slightly younger female set right now?

So being Korean in Thailand....even a Korean American guy and in your 20's to 30's makes you highly desireable and/or collectable among Thai females of the same age.

You're a hot commodity....make use of your desired status.

I wouldn't be complaining if it were girls.

[Songhua]

My wife was walking by when I zoomed your photo to full screen. She said 'he is a very hansum Thai man'. I said 'you've got it wrong, he's not Thai, he's Korean American'. Now she can't stop staring and she says she's feeling a little faint.

I said, 'I know it's a shock but you should be feeling ok soon. He gets that all the time'

[mrbleu]

My wife was walking by when I zoomed your photo to full screen. She said 'he is a very hansum Thai man'. I said 'you've got it wrong, he's not Thai, he's Korean American'. Now she can't stop staring and she says she's feeling a little faint.

I said, 'I know it's a shock but you should be feeling ok soon. He gets that all the time'

Besides English and Korean, I'm also fluent in Sarcasm.

[metisdead]

I was hoping for some input from Thais.

Unfortunately for you in this case, this is an international forum and there are not very many Thai members on here.

I have removed a number of trolling nonsense posts and will continue to do so.

[Beechboy]

I think that you are being a bit paranoid. People stare at other people constantly, it is human nature.

I once took a ladyfriend out for the first time. She steered intently at every other female who entered the bar and later the restaurant. I feared the worst, but luckily found out the best.

You have achieved a mind-set of self-consciousness. You look absolutely no more conspicuous than the average Joe out there so eliminate this negativety asap before it snowballs into an unhealthy neurosis.

[mrbleu]

I was hoping for some input from Thais.

Unfortunately for you in this case, this is an international forum and there are not very many Thai members on here.

I have removed a number of trolling nonsense posts and will continue to do so.

My Thai is limited at best, and that is why I open this thread on thaivisa.

Reading back on the initial thread, I can understand how it may seem to be a troll but this is an issue that is starting to grate on me.

I'm wondering if others have had to deal with this issue and understand if this is a cultural matter that I am misinterpreting.

[culicine]

They think you may start singing Gangnam Style

And as we've seen in the press, Thais have their one special use of that dance:)

[mauGR1]

My theory is that you look Asian of course, so close enough that you COULD be Thai, yet as a Korean American I'm sure you don't act or walk like a typical Thai, so they are just curious about what you are.

I could be wrong but I also don't think that staring at curiosities is really seen as aggression/confrontational by Thais.

I think JT is quite spot on, they try to guess where the OP is coming from.

I guess the first backpackers who happen to travel to Thailand in the seventies had the same experience.

I find the Thais to be quite polite, but they don't find really impolite to stare at people like we do in Western countries ( and in Korea, i learned )

[transam]

I think that you are being a bit paranoid. People stare at other people constantly, it is human nature.

I once took a ladyfriend out for the first time. She steered intently at every other female who entered the bar and later the restaurant. I feared the worst, but luckily found out the best.

You have achieved a mind-set of self-consciousness. You look absolutely no more conspicuous than the average Joe out there so eliminate this negativety asap before it snowballs into an unhealthy neurosis.

I don't.

Ah, except every morning looking at my self in the mirror to shave. NOT a good start to my day l might add. ............................................................... .................................

[hookedondhamma]

Don't worry so much about. It happens and will continue to happen. My Thai friends tell me it's bad etiquette to stare, but you know how things are here.

I get stared at quite a bit, but I just keep looking forward, as always. They're probably trying to figure out what you are - I've been and keep being mistaken for many different SE Asian ethnicities. It used to grate my nerves a little, as one can feel it, but after a while you'll get used to it.

You're handsome as well - so don't freak out additionally when your new friends want to try a new flavor.

[kurnell]

How do you know Thai males are staring at you? Cos you're staring at them?

[cbrer]

Someone being ethnically Asian, but moving and talking in a completely non-Asian way is too much for them to compute. You've literally blown their mind and they don't know what's going on.

Think nothing of it.

Edited October 20, 2012 by cbrer

[mike123ca]

Stoop wasting time thinking about why Thai guys are staring.

Life is too short to worry about little things.

You should be concentrating your

thoughts on the ladies.

[krisb]

Don't worry. You get the stares, because you look like a younger Abhisit

Lol, and he probably wears red tshirts

[rattler]

Im the only "Frang " in the village, they often drive past my house bibbing horns to get me to look at them.

I usually oblige by going outside and jumping up and down like a lunatic, this helps their perception of us Im sure.

Many times a bike comes past and I hear them say "Frang" quite loudly.

I know who I am and let them think their crazy thoughts.