My Brother In Law's Girlfriend

[Banzai99]

if she earns 40 K per month, why she doesn't put the money for show?

Toyota Vios monthly payments, money to family etc etc.

So in fact you DIDN'T buy her a car, as you state in the OP, since it's paid by her in monthly installments.

Is there anything more that you claimed you bought, but actually didn't ?

It's the Brother in Laws GF who has the Vios, try to keep up mate.

[tim armstrong]

This is a hard one. I've been here for 10 years now, and have loaned money to several people and many good causes. I've learnt that if you don't have any expectations of it coming back, despite the initial promises, then you are not going to be disappointed. Sadly, borrowing money and not returning it is the norm for business and personal loans. Negotiating a discount on the loan half way through is also normal. ie normal for thai to thai transactions. You are a farlang, and like all farlangs, whatever you might say to anyone you will ALWAYS have money somewhere, somehow. Trust has a different interpretation in many Asian countries compared to ours. While it sounds like you are on solid ground with your thai relationships, you are obviously concerned. Go with your gut instinct, but don't have expectations.

[thaibeachlovers]

With the love thingy it's unfortunate that falling in love and love use the same word. The first one is temporary hormone induced insanity that usually clears up within 6months (which is already too late for many) that seems to be addictive to some, the second one a somewhat more rationally based phenomenon that might even grow in time.

The English language is a very imperfect way of communicating meaning.

True love is what keeps people from splitting up over silly little things or when partners become old and ugly, and unconditional love is what a mother feels for her scumbag child that everyone else in the whole world despises.

Love, as it is commonly used, is, as you say, a hormonal reaction. It ensured the survival of the species before we became "civilized".

Well said all.

My personal definition of real love (as opposed to the chemically-induced emotional syndrome) is to be committed to the spiritual/emotional growth of the other.

Only the former IMO has anything to do with sex, although very nice indeed when they happen to coincide it's not to be taken seriously, least of all as the motive for anything important.

And neither phenomenon has anything to do with monogamy, nor the length of time a relationship is intended to last, both of which I see as arbitrary and obsolete remnants of organized religion's cultural programming.

The desire for people to remain married till death was probably based in the fact that many ( ?most ) people died in their 40s or so, before medical science and better nutrition extended lives. That was only long enough to raise enough children to support their parents.

Lifespans have increased, but mentality has not evolved to keep pace with a different reality.

[thaibeachlovers]

Big stack of funny money, with a real 1,000 b note on top and bottom, tied with a wide red ribbon so that only the corners of the notes are visibile. Makes for an impressive display.

They're not that stupid, and I'd guess that trick may have been tried once or twice before - at most of the Thai weddings I've attended, an elder of the bride's family fans the money out across the area in front of the monks so everyone can verify it.

Could always do what I did, and not have the monks. They're not compulsory.

[jacktrip]

do you really want to flash cash on your wedding day? i would prefer to not have it be an issue, esp with a thai/foreigner couple. it brings in a whole gamut of bargirl/prostitute vibes that i would not want on my wedding day.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

do you really want to flash cash on your wedding day? i would prefer to not have it be an issue, esp with a thai/foreigner couple. it brings in a whole gamut of bargirl/prostitute vibes that i would not want on my wedding day.

Have you got any real experience in these things at all? The groom at most of these weddings has little if any say about what goes on, and the bride often less. It's all about the parents (usually the mum more than the dad) and making them happy = giving them big face in the village.

But all these issues are certainly up for discussion during the ceremonial negotiation when you are asking the family elders for permission to marry their daughter. Maybe if you agreed to an extra three pigs, five more cases of whisky and a bigger song and dance show, they'd be willing to concede to your request to make it a less flashy display wrt to the cash and gold, but then again, they might tell you to piss off and marry their daughter off to someone that has more respect for their traditions.

And if you find a girl who's willing to go against her parents' wishes you can be 99% sure you're going to have big trouble on your hands down the road, why would she say obedient to you if she didn't obey her folks?

Things just don't work here the way they do back home. And yes, the above is a country bumpkin deal as that's who most of us marry, I know a lot of you have hi-so Chinese Christian inlaws that wanted a western-style wedding and bought you your own island in the Andaman Sea. . .

[DrTuner]

do you really want to flash cash on your wedding day? i would prefer to not have it be an issue, esp with a thai/foreigner couple. it brings in a whole gamut of bargirl/prostitute vibes that i would not want on my wedding day.

On the wedding day it's traditional to be pissed out of your mind, or at least severely hung over. well, at least for me. Arrangements have been done months ahead and the party is just part formality (that part better endured very, very drunk), part pissup (the perfect solution if being hung over was the choise). Either way, the groom can comfortably rely on autopilot and need not worry about notarization of financial contracts previously drawn.

[lizardtongue]

I did the same thing, not a problem I got it back same night. If you feel comfortable go for it, if it goes 'tit's up' you could always reclaim one of the many other gifts you have bestowed on your immediate family!

[NeverSure]

The OP wouldn't be on here posting about this if he didn't think he was going to get ripped off.I predict that he'll be right & look forward to his next thread :

'Things I'd planned to do with my 150,000 baht once the wedding was over'!

Or "How I'd planned to live in a house, a condo, have 3 farms and five scooters for the rest of my life."

I have no clue how any farang can possibly buy property in LOS. None. If I (urp) decided (urp) to get married, my test would be to refuse worldy goods above a decent living amount, and see if she liked me for myself. The answer is probably not.

All of my real assets stay in the US under US law, there is a prenup, we rent. If she s------s she gets a scooter. If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car. She'll have no idea how I came up with that much money. Maybe I received a gift from the US.

In the meantime all vehicles etc. stay in my name. Prove to me that you want to be with me for me, or hit the road, Missy.

I've heard enough stories.

[The Smithy]

The OP wouldn't be on here posting about this if he didn't think he was going to get ripped off.I predict that he'll be right & look forward to his next thread :

'Things I'd planned to do with my 150,000 baht once the wedding was over'!

Or "How I'd planned to live in a house, a condo, have 3 farms and five scooters for the rest of my life."

I have no clue how any farang can possibly buy property in LOS. None. If I (urp) decided (urp) to get married, my test would be to refuse worldy goods above a decent living amount, and see if she liked me for myself. The answer is probably not.

All of my real assets stay in the US under US law, there is a prenup, we rent. If she s------s she gets a scooter. If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car. She'll have no idea how I came up with that much money. Maybe I received a gift from the US.

In the meantime all vehicles etc. stay in my name. Prove to me that you want to be with me for me, or hit the road, Missy.

I've heard enough stories.

Spot on,why would anyone buy property in a country where they cannot own land and the best that they can do is an overpriced condo,on a short-term 30 year leasehold with no chance of renewing said lease at a decent rate?

You can buy freehold in Europe,to hold in perpetuity with a decent yield for the same price,that no-one can take from you.For God's sake it's not rocket science,Spain/Portugal/Italy/Greece or some corrupt scumbag in Pattaya/Phuket?

[thaibeachlovers]

The OP wouldn't be on here posting about this if he didn't think he was going to get ripped off.I predict that he'll be right & look forward to his next thread :

'Things I'd planned to do with my 150,000 baht once the wedding was over'!

Or "How I'd planned to live in a house, a condo, have 3 farms and five scooters for the rest of my life."

I have no clue how any farang can possibly buy property in LOS. None. If I (urp) decided (urp) to get married, my test would be to refuse worldy goods above a decent living amount, and see if she liked me for myself. The answer is probably not.

All of my real assets stay in the US under US law, there is a prenup, we rent. If she s------s she gets a scooter. If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car. She'll have no idea how I came up with that much money. Maybe I received a gift from the US.

In the meantime all vehicles etc. stay in my name. Prove to me that you want to be with me for me, or hit the road, Missy.

I've heard enough stories.

Spot on,why would anyone buy property in a country where they cannot own land and the best that they can do is an overpriced condo,on a short-term 30 year leasehold with no chance of renewing said lease at a decent rate?

You can buy freehold in Europe,to hold in perpetuity with a decent yield for the same price,that no-one can take from you.For God's sake it's not rocket science,Spain/Portugal/Italy/Greece or some corrupt scumbag in Pattaya/Phuket?

You can talk sense all day, but in the end, there will always be mugs that buy everything for the woman they knew for 6 months or so before getting married. Sad.

[mistephenso]

If this is a traditional Sin Sod payment, then it goes to the bride's parents - this means that it is up to them whether the money comes back to you or not!?

I'm assuming they have all discussed this before you hand over the money to your brother in law...? If they have, then they know he hasn't got the money (and probably aren't overly happy about someone marrying their daughter who can't raise 150000 baht?)

If they haven't, then you are at the mercy of you brother in law's girlfriend's parents (who definitely aren't direct family) - you could well be in for a long wait for your money if this is the case and they need the cash....?

Good luck anyway. It's up to you at the end of the day, but I wouldn't get involved...

[inthepink]

The OP wouldn't be on here posting about this if he didn't think he was going to get ripped off.I predict that he'll be right & look forward to his next thread :

'Things I'd planned to do with my 150,000 baht once the wedding was over'!

Or "How I'd planned to live in a house, a condo, have 3 farms and five scooters for the rest of my life."

I have no clue how any farang can possibly buy property in LOS. None. If I (urp) decided (urp) to get married, my test would be to refuse worldy goods above a decent living amount, and see if she liked me for myself. The answer is probably not.

All of my real assets stay in the US under US law, there is a prenup, we rent. If she s------s she gets a scooter. If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car. She'll have no idea how I came up with that much money. Maybe I received a gift from the US.

In the meantime all vehicles etc. stay in my name. Prove to me that you want to be with me for me, or hit the road, Missy.

I've heard enough stories.

Spot on,why would anyone buy property in a country where they cannot own land and the best that they can do is an overpriced condo,on a short-term 30 year leasehold with no chance of renewing said lease at a decent rate?

You can buy freehold in Europe,to hold in perpetuity with a decent yield for the same price,that no-one can take from you.For God's sake it's not rocket science,Spain/Portugal/Italy/Greece or some corrupt scumbag in Pattaya/Phuket?

You can talk sense all day, but in the end, there will always be mugs that buy everything for the woman they knew for 6 months or so before getting married. Sad.

That all sounds like way too much hard work to me. Why not just date girls that do not need to be treated like small children and are financially independent? NeverSure - sounds like your ranting. I'll do this and I'll do that and if they don't like it they can hit the road blah blah blah....

If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car? Sounds like you are looking for a pet to keep not a partner.

Edited October 30, 2012 by inthepink

[inthepink]

The OP wouldn't be on here posting about this if he didn't think he was going to get ripped off.I predict that he'll be right & look forward to his next thread :

'Things I'd planned to do with my 150,000 baht once the wedding was over'!

Or "How I'd planned to live in a house, a condo, have 3 farms and five scooters for the rest of my life."

I have no clue how any farang can possibly buy property in LOS. None. If I (urp) decided (urp) to get married, my test would be to refuse worldy goods above a decent living amount, and see if she liked me for myself. The answer is probably not.

All of my real assets stay in the US under US law, there is a prenup, we rent. If she s------s she gets a scooter. If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car. She'll have no idea how I came up with that much money. Maybe I received a gift from the US.

In the meantime all vehicles etc. stay in my name. Prove to me that you want to be with me for me, or hit the road, Missy.

I've heard enough stories.

Spot on,why would anyone buy property in a country where they cannot own land and the best that they can do is an overpriced condo,on a short-term 30 year leasehold with no chance of renewing said lease at a decent rate?

You can buy freehold in Europe,to hold in perpetuity with a decent yield for the same price,that no-one can take from you.For God's sake it's not rocket science,Spain/Portugal/Italy/Greece or some corrupt scumbag in Pattaya/Phuket?

You can talk sense all day, but in the end, there will always be mugs that buy everything for the woman they knew for 6 months or so before getting married. Sad.

That all sounds like way too much hard work to me. Why not just date girls that do not need to be treated like small children and are financially independent? NeverSure - sounds like you're ranting. I'll do this and I'll do that and if they don't like it they can hit the road blah blah blah....

If she's nice after a year or so she gets a car? Sounds like you are looking for a pet to keep not a partner. I take it that women who can afford to buy a car without your help are a threat to your masculinity?

Edited October 30, 2012 by inthepink