Trusting The Wife

[payak]

how many here have absolute trust in there wife.

this is not an attack on anyone so lets keep it civil for 5 minutes.

Has you partner or wife truly earned it, or does she do things that leave you wondering every other day.

[bobbysamuels]

well i've been with mine for 6 years now, still not married though. We've been through thick and thin, and had our own groups of friends back at home.

She wouldn't be secretive in anyway, a the start it was a bit hard just because i've had bad experiences with other past gfs but if i called her whilst she was out she would answer, we have each others facebook password, we would know all of one another's friends, there was no such thing as hanging out or going out with random people we had just met. And as time passed it became second nature to just communicate with one another honestly and most importantly effectively especially when you fight.

I think if your in it for the long haul it is both your responsibilities to make sure that the other one has no doubt in your actions and feel secure within your realtionship. Trust doesn't come overnight, it is something that is earned through actions and time and if broken it can take forever to get back.

[yermanee]

Mine has truly earned it.

However it not only has to be earned, one must also be willing to give it and be trustworthy yourself.

Not easy !!!

Yermanee

[BigJohnnyBKK]

You have to define your terms more specifically.

I have had a high degree of trust in all my long-term and/or live-in partners in the sense that I know they won't steal from me, and only lie in the normal social ways (you so hansum 8-).

However trust them to be mature and have common sense, be able to make important life decisions wisely?

I don't know many people I trust like that full-stop, and don't require those qualities in a partner - in fact they are very very rarely found in conjunction with the qualities I do prefer.

Once in a while a rare one does come through and surprises me though, a couple have even ended up relatively financially secure (from nothing) without depending on men to support them.

[jpinx]

I trust my wife absolutely - cos she divorced me, married another guy and then divorced him too -- so it was NOT my fault

[payak]

great to see some positives here, really.

[Schmackos]

Marriage is all about trust and understanding.

She doesn't trust me & I don’t understand her.

[Beetlejuice]

Here is my take on the subject.

My Thai wife is in her 50s almost the same as me and as regarding her going off with someone else, this of course is very unlikely, because she is on my pension scheme, insurances etc and at her age she would not be so stupid as to push me out and blow her financial dependence and security, which is me, for her old age. I doubt that any young toy boys would be interested in an old granny anyway, so therefore I trust her. The question is; can we place our complete trust is someone who has other options? And I don`t think that`s possible.

Married to my first wife who was English at a very young age and it wasn’t until after we divorced that I discovered an acquaintance was not only popping in to our home for visits but also popping into my wife for quickies while I was at work. It seemed everybody knew except me.

I have known wives who’s husbands have been absolute thugs, treated the wives like dirt and ruled the household with an iron hand, yet these women idolised their husbands. Probably something to do with human behaviour dating back to the Stone Age when the strongest brute got the best girls, the rougher they were treated, the more these women stayed loyal to them. Perhaps it`s because these women saw their male partners as protectors and providers?

On the other hand I have known guys that treated their wife’s like Goddesses, done everything for them, would climb the highest mountains or swim the longest oceans just to please their wife’s and prove their eternal love and devotion to the marriage, yet these wives have ended up straying off and in cases taking them for every penny and dumped their guys completely.

I believe that for guys who come across as being too committed to appeasing their wife’s every whim and fancy, willing to sacrifice all to hold the relationship together, than in many cases these guys will eventually become subjugated and unappreciated, as the wives or female partners may end up straying off seeking some rough and tumble adventure elsewhere. But if the guys make clear from the beginning of the relationship, do not make a jerk out of me and ensure that the female partner will make compromises at all times, than the partnership has a much better chance of being a success in a long, happy and fulfilled marriage.

Of course I`m not suggestion that guys should treat their woman with disrespect and with aggression, but the guys should make it clear that they`re not with a woman to be stepped on and taken as fools, or in other words, be firm and be gentle.

This is my experience for what it`s worth.

Edited November 9, 2012 by Beetlejuice

[sirineou]

The Basis of any marriage is Trust. With out it it's not a marriage it is an arrangement.

If I did not trust my wife Ii would certainly not be married to her.

[chris1dna]

Yes. Absolutely. It's me I wonder about sometimes. 12 years so far and I have complete trust in her.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

[Semper]

Can you trust posts from anonymous people on a anonymous forum?

[TommoPhysicist]

1 Trust her not to shag another guy?

2 Trust her not to kick me out of the house I just bought in her name?

3 Trust her not to steal all my loose change?

4 Trust her not to forge my signature and empty my bank account?

5 Trust her not to kill me for inheritance/anger?

What trust are we talking about?

My answers

1 Not bothered, up to her.

2 Not daft enough to buy a house in someone else's name.

3 All Thai ladies do that.

4 She wouldn't do that.

5 If the mood took her.

[TommoPhysicist]

The Basis of any marriage is Trust. With out it it's not a marriage it is an arrangement.

If I did not trust my wife Ii would certainly not be married to her.

What about getting married to protect your parental rights over your children?

And if you don't intend to have children, why would you ever get married!

Edited November 10, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Gary A]

I think there is a huge difference between trust and BLIND trust. I have a friend right now who is being who is being taken advantage of and he doesn't know it. I'm not saying anything.

Some years back, a wise American said "Trust but verify".

[Bagwan]

The Basis of any marriage is Trust. With out it it's not a marriage it is an arrangement.

If I did not trust my wife Ii would certainly not be married to her.

What about getting married to protect your parental rights over your children?

And if you don't intend to have children, why would you ever get married!

For various reasons children were not in our scheme for the future. However my lady was paranoid about returning to the poverty and deprivation that she was born into. No matter how much I told her 'roi pee', her fears lingered. I kept my word that, if after a year we were still content with each other, then we would marry. In so doing I hooked her into the UK social security system so that many financial benefits will accrue to her, including a single person's UK State Pension when I snuff it. Being married means that she will have the wherewithal to enjoy her old age and I will have continued to support her after I have gone. It is the very least that I can do to reward the love, concern and understanding that she has afforded me for the past 11 years. For the present, I think that being married to a farang gives her status with her friends and acquaintances, something that goes down well with Thai people.

[BEVUP]

Between me & wife ok but when the inlaws pressure here no way

They want to use your sh***t as colateral

[mjj]

With money? Yes.

With other guys? Yes.

With left over curry in the pot? No.

[thenervoussurgeon]

Yes i trust my wife ,i trust that as soon as a new handbag is out she will be first in the bloody shop to buy it , apart from that yes i trust her ,its been 20 years and she has never given me any reason not to.

[uptheos]

we have each others facebook password,

Personally, I think trust is not having each others password to FB & email or reading texts and opening each other's mail.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

3 Trust her not to steal all my loose change?

-----

3 All Thai ladies do that.

<deleted>? You know better than that don't you? In my experience, given brought up traditional upcountry girls with no previous exposure to the usual farang-Thai scenes?

Very very rarely a problem.

That's actually one of my very early on tests with a new one, leave money around as the forgetful old man that I am, and even 20 baht gone out they go back to Nakhon Nowhere.

Very few succumb to that temptation.

Of course they've received the full-on stern lecture defining how important I consider honesty and personal integrity in my partners, the fact that breaking such is 100% gonna break the deal, and most importantly giving in explicit detail the farang definition of those terms and how they may contrast with common practice among people with bad habits here.

[giddyup]

Trust her enough to give her my ATM pin number.

[poanoi]

Yes, well she isnt my wife but i know she is trust worthy.

Still boring life tho, i had more fun alone, a lot more fun.

[daftpunker]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X4BHlRs3LWc

[marstons]

I think there is a huge difference between trust and BLIND trust. I have a friend right now who is being who is being taken advantage of and he doesn't know it. I'm not saying anything.

Some years back, a wise American said "Trust but verify".

Think there are many people who know guys being taken advantage of or know of things going on he does not know about but dont tell. So these guys if got asked would undoubtably say "yes trust her implicatly, practically joined at the hip, soul mates etc, could not be happiier. Trust her with bank books, facebook, internet etc".

So NO if i had one would not.

[fletchsmile]

Trust is best when mutual. Especially in a marriage.

Yes, trust is a noun and you might think your wife should earn it from you.

More powerful is to realise trust is a verb and extend it.

[TexasRanger]

Absolutely trust her as much as anyone can trust another human being. 100% trust? I think not possible ever, faith maybe.

[sirineou]

The Basis of any marriage is Trust. With out it it's not a marriage it is an arrangement.

If I did not trust my wife Ii would certainly not be married to her.

What about getting married to protect your parental rights over your children?

And if you don't intend to have children, why would you ever get married!

If you got married some one you don't trust to protect your parental rights , or any other interests tor that matter, then as I said it is an arrangement not a real marriage.

This is not a judgement call, It is simply an observation .there are many good reasons why some one might get in to an "arrangement"

Edited November 10, 2012 by sirineou

[transam]

I don't trust anyone, full stop.

[giddyup]

I don't trust anyone, full stop.

Sad for you.

[transam]

I don't trust anyone, full stop.

Sad for you.

Yes indeed, sadly my life's encounters have made me this way.