How Does Your Thai Partner React ?

[Ricardo]

Traditionally in my own (UK/London working-class) culture, when you have a serious disagreement with your wife, she reaches for the rolling-pin, to reinforce the strength of her point-of-view.

Hence those cute little gifts for English newly-weds, a red emergency (fire-alarm style) box with a miniature rolling-pin inside, and the legend 'Break Glass if Needed'.

But how does your Thai partner react ? Since Thais tend not to use rolling-pins, in the kitchen, and displays of anger or violence are a cultural no-no ?

In my own case, a transgression or visible loss-of-temper is likely to result in an attack of the 'Ho-Hums', ignoring me & not communicating with me, for a few hours/days. By the end of which, I've usually forgotten what it was that had upset me, and we've both remembered the better-reasons, why we are together

So what other reactions can there be ? Is there a Thai domestic equivalent of the rolling-pin, for situations not merriting the famous sharp-knife/sleeping-husband/Ouch experience ? !

[Neeranam]

So what other reactions can there be ? Is there a Thai domestic equivalent of the rolling-pin, for situations not merriting the famous sharp-knife/sleeping-husband/Ouch experience ? !

Off topic - does anyone know the Thai word for rolling pin?

I've never heard one. When asking a few people they say "mai nuat baeng" or literally "wood that massages dough/flour"

Oh and I get the silent treatment.

[Simbo]

Traditionally in my own (UK/London working-class) culture, when you have a serious disagreement with your wife, she reaches for the rolling-pin, to reinforce the strength of her point-of-view.

Hence those cute little gifts for English newly-weds, a red emergency (fire-alarm style) box with a miniature rolling-pin inside, and the legend 'Break Glass if Needed'.

But how does your Thai partner react ? Since Thais tend not to use rolling-pins, in the kitchen, and displays of anger or violence are a cultural no-no ?

In my own case, a transgression or visible loss-of-temper is likely to result in an attack of the 'Ho-Hums', ignoring me & not communicating with me, for a few hours/days. By the end of which, I've usually forgotten what it was that had upset me, and we've both remembered the better-reasons, why we are together

So not merriting the famous sharp-knife/sleeping-husband/Ouch experience ? !

What other reactions can there be ? Is there a Thai domestic equivalent of the rolling-pin, for situations

In my experience, the rolling pin was replaced with the kitchen cleaver. When you are faced with that, you make a hasty retreat. This was in the UK. Needless to say, we are not together now.

Divorced and remarried, I have a delightfully even tempered new Thai wife, who always makes me feel the guilty one, by not reacting to my occassional criticisms. Chinese thai women are the ones to beware of. You can see the madness in their eyes.

[torgate]

Haileys - Comet

Nerranam's - Rollin-pin

new word entry for thai culture minister....

My wife also void on this word

well done......

[h90]

But how does your Thai partner react ? Since Thais tend not to use rolling-pins, in the kitchen, and displays of anger or violence are a cultural no-no ?

I can not share this experience, I would say in Europe is anger or violence a no-no, but not in Asia.

My wife is half chinese/half thai and from the deep south with a voice that she can speak with the south from Bangkok without taking a phone.

Usually when someone of her staff makes something everyone is running before she explodes.....

But as well I saw already one boss (chinese) beats his staff for doing something wrong.

But it is good possible that such things are dedicated to chinese and/or deep south people.

One thing/not sure about, but I never saw southeners screaming with southeners only with Isaan labour, so maybe the story is much deeper than I think of.

[sierra01]

I get the silent treatment, and sometimes she'll go sleep in the spare room. This happened the other night, she had a bad dream and couldn't get back into our bed quick enough!

She will also refuse to eat, then come down in the middle of the night for a bowl of mama. She's very quiet about it, cleans up after herself thinking that I won't notice, bless her little cotton socks

But I still love her very much, and wouldn't change her for the world.

[Patex]

The thaicounterpart to the rolling pin is the สำก (sag= pestle). Often used as a missile, made from hardwood or stone. Also very handy in the close combat.

If confronted with this weapon find refuge in the next pub! Never try to disarm the aggressor!

[pnustedt]

One does not disagree or argue with my wife!

[TokyoT]

Sulking/ silent treatment

[Joey Boy]

In 8 months it hasnt happened, she does as shes told

[sierra01]

She's just been getting you sussed out Joey, your turn will come!

[h90]

can I trade my loud wife?

I get the silent treatment, and sometimes she'll go sleep in the spare room. This happened the other night, she had a bad dream and couldn't get back into our bed quick enough!

She will also refuse to eat, then come down in the middle of the night for a bowl of mama. She's very quiet about it, cleans up after herself thinking that I won't notice, bless her little cotton socks

But I still love her very much, and wouldn't change her for the world.

[The Dan Sai Kid]

In 8 months it hasnt happened, she does as shes told

Ah, the honeymoon period. When up to you really did mean it - not "that is the last thing I want to do"

[sbk]

Neerannam, I asked the husband and staff and rolling pin is called "mai nuat pbaeng"-- wood that massages the dough

And H90, the reason Southerners won't scream at another Southerner doesn't have to do with disdain for the Isaan but fear of the Southerner. You may be screaming at the wrong person and end up at the wrong end of a gun by doing so.

My husband is Thai and he has learned to have an argument, we rarely scream or shout at each other but have learned how to discuss (heatedly sometimes!) our problems. The silent treatment is most annoying and neither one of us falls into that.

[Tingnongnoi]

I get the silent treatment also

[steveromagnino]

I get the silent treatment also

Surely silence is the best way to get even keeled and avoid saying things that inflame the situation, and instead allows a chance to communicate like adults rather than soi dogs on the street?

Well, not including the sniffing bit, I mean the barking bit.

[skylar]

I find that the silent treatment method is a way of denying the recipient their place in society. It's more harmful than having a heated argument.

[malcolminthemiddle]

Sulking/ silent treatment

The Thai word sounds like "horn".

[britmaveric]

Pouting and silence!

[tuky]

My wife will just say "solly solly", or if it her that has the problem with me, well I just remind her who pays the bills and then she says "solly solly"

[steveromagnino]

Pouting and silence!

Agreed that ongoing silence is pointless.

However the idea of agreeing not to speak for an hour, then rationally discussing things without accusation or fighting is not a bad one. I wish my mum wasn't so western in wanting to get into arguments all the time; since I started this approach things are much better.

Also, it means listening entirely to the other person's idiotic arguments, before I can explain why I am right and they are wrong.

[Glauka]

I always go for the silent treatment and avoid contact...this behaviour got my exbf. mad...

[BIG SPUDS]

I too get the silent treatment and no matter what i say nothing will change this, she tells me she is moo huu - (angry) and nothing will change it!

[Bung]

My wife is actually a pretty good arguer and will go head to head with me till the cows come home. She really sticks buy her guns and will never back down and usually jumps on her bike in a huff to see her mates with a "sup to you"

Usually comes home after a couple of drinks and is alright.

It's not just me though, I have seen her get stuck into anyone that crosses her, even pi's! But she is very Jai Yen 99% of the time.

[mrbojangles]

Silent treatment for me also

I tried doing it back to her once but i cracked in the end I must admit, you ladies have got stamina

[daleyboy]

Yep silent treatment for me, but i have to say in the 4 1/2 years we have been married, i can count on onw hand the amount of silent treatments i have had

[Ice Maiden]

My wife is actually a pretty good arguer and will go head to head with me till the cows come home. She really sticks buy her guns and will never back down and usually jumps on her bike in a huff to see her mates with a "sup to you"

Sounds like me! I will argue until I am blue in the face if I know I'm right but alcohol dosen't make me better either!

[Old Croc]

I've had it all. My first wife was a violent nutcase when angry. She would scream, throw things, and physically attack me. I still bear scars. The second lady, a Kiwi, thought she was 100% right on any issue and if proved wrong would go to silent mode. The silences could last for 3 or 4 days.

I was with my last partner (the love of my life) for ten years and we never once raised voices against each other. We were so similar in temperment it became boring in some ways.

(Sorry a little off topic. I didn't realise it was about your THAI partner.)

Edited February 15, 2006 by Old Croc

[kurgen]

My better half gives me the silent treatment,for anything up to 2 days.

It drives me round the twist

[mogoso]

One does not disagree or argue with my wife!

I can't say we disagree much, as our goals are mutually shared. She does get a bit miffed with me about the incredible slowness of my goverment to get her status sorted out, but as its not my fault but theirs, I mai pen rai it, and let the words bounce off my conciousness.

But shes more concered with being the best wife, best person she can be, to argue or have negative feelings. Me I continue life in the stupor that my misguided, yet fun loving, youth has left me in.