Thai Women And Jealousy

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I get the odd birthday/xmas card from the ex, so it was a bit hard to keep it a secret.

I've kept the same dropbox address for all overseas and official Thai registrations, banks immigration etc for fourteen years, don't even receive bills at any address where I actually sleep, anything coming to the house the kids know they can cut it up for collages without me even looking at it.

The service pay the incoming bills for me for B10 each, accepts faxes and packages, selectively forwards anything I want based on my instructions or just hold it for me to pick up when it's convenient.

Makes moving or maintaining multiple residences easy-peasy, protects your privacy, no problem if I'm overseas, lots of benefits,

Same with my official residential address back in the States, haven't had to change that for 25 years now. Dropped the Australian one 30 years ago, saw no need to maintain it. . .

Edited November 12, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[mjj]

my wife is great she never gets jealous , well i dont give her a reason , but i know she is a great lady and if she did think something she would ask first

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

Ditto.

Mrs mjj and I were once with a Thai/farang couple and the farang guy said something along the lines that his wife would not let him go to Pattaya for a weekend to see his friend. My wife asked why not? We are back to the trust issue again.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Is it their way of showing that they love you??"

Yes, and it can go the other way, many won't believe that you really do love them if you're willing to let them fool around.

[norrona]

The same Thai Women who are paranoid and jealous when their "partner" communicates with other females are the same ones likely to dump the man when it suits their Position , such as better rich pickings elsewhere

everyones looking for the B.B.D mate.....

the bigger and better deal

[uptheos]

Is it their way of showing that they love you??"

Control and love should never be confused.

[loong]

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

I sometimes get questioned when reading posts from people like you.

She wants to know who I am communicating with because of the woman in the avatar.

[jaideeguy]

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

I sometimes get questioned when reading posts from people like you.

She wants to know who I am communicating with because of the woman in the avatar.

yea, I have had the same same with some of the avatars that posters use.....hey guys, clean up your avatars, you're getting us married guys in trouble!!!.

I thought that I had an 'open relationship' with my TW and we discussed it at length that we could both look all we wanted and even do what we wanted as long as it was out of town and proper safety precautions were implemented, but agreements here in LOS don't mean <deleted>.

Bottom line, 'the strongest chains are no chains at all' and if this keeps going on, then I'll 'slip out the back Jack and set myself free Lee'.

[edwinchester]

I might mention that in other past relationships with Asian women that when i get accused too much, i then figure that I can go play around as I have been tried and found guilty for no crime. The funny thing is that I haven't gotten caught in a real act.....just the imaginary ones.

That explains it......kharma!

[yourauntbob]

cheating here is so rampant that they never fully trust anyone

[yermanee]

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

We must all be doing it wrong and treating our wives/gf's badly. Do you have a self-help book I can read?

No, just common sense and a lot of experience.

Or maybe I was just lucky.

Yermanee

Edited November 12, 2012 by yermanee

[loong]

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

We must all be doing it wrong and treating our wives/gf's badly. Do you have a self-help book I can read?

No, just common sense and a lot of experience.

Or maybe I was just lucky.

Yermanee

The Missus walked in just as I was reading your post. Luckily I managed to quickly scroll the page so that she didn't see your avatar

[BigJohnnyBKK]

I thought that I had an 'open relationship' with my TW and we discussed it at length that we could both look all we wanted and even do what we wanted as long as it was out of town and proper safety precautions were implemented, but agreements here in LOS don't mean <deleted>.

Gotta use it, or lose it.

Set the pattern from the very beginning, even if you don't really want/need to, just as long as she thinks you are.

Ironic isn't it, pretend you're fooling around when you're not, just be able to keep your options open later on.

Assuming your arrangement is to not reveal details anyway (highly recommended) otherwise you're back to lying which is nogo for me anyway.

[SiameseCurios]

Too many damaged goods out there in the farang-hunting pool, major bi-polar, borderline personality stuff etc.

Excellent stuff.

[MAJIC]

IMO it comes down to extreme insecurity and posessiveness,coupled with the knowledge that there is always some other Thai Lady that is ready to jump into their patch,and take their hard won benefits.

[lovelaos]

Funny all that.

My wife trusts me.

Maybe it's the way I treat her ?

Yermanee

We must all be doing it wrong and treating our wives/gf's badly. Do you have a self-help book I can read?

No, just common sense and a lot of experience.

Or maybe I was just lucky.

Yermanee

The Missus walked in just as I was reading your post. Luckily I managed to quickly scroll the page so that she didn't see your avatar

Not flaming or having a go at you but I went through that sort of sh*t and it just got worse and worse, I work with loads of pretty women and my ex Mrs got to the stage where she was visiting my workplace and embarrassing me at work. Put a stop to it now before it gets worse.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Not flaming or having a go at you but I went through that sort of sh*t and it just got worse and worse, I work with loads of pretty women and my ex Mrs got to the stage where she was visiting my workplace and embarrassing me at work. Put a stop to it now before it gets worse.

I realize I sound like a stuck record here, but for what I perceive to be many if not most cases here, there would never be any reason to inform your partner where you work. Compartmentalization, need to know basis is the foundation of security.

And I realize that some of you actually met your SO through your work, or can't imagine her ever making trouble for you etc, but for the rest of us believe me I've had a friend lose his job over her showing up to throw a psycho-bitch hissy fit in front of everybody.

And no she wasn't a BG, just a normally deranged mia farang.

[akspace]

I really haven't had enough Thai, or Asian, girlfriends to make a generalization. But my Japanese girlfriend was never jealous, no more so then any of my farang girlfriends. However, my Thai girlfriend starts asking questions if I'm going out for drinks after work. If I have to travel for business she assumes I have a girlfriend (or three) in whatever city I'm traveling to. It's never angry accusations, more just questions about exactly who will be there and why I'm going.

She also won't let assumed transgressions go, I had to travel to Bangkok last year and I went without her, now every time she gets angry she brings up my "Bangkok girlfriend". She assumes I have one because I spent 12,000 baht in two days and didn't answer my phone when she called a couple of times.

[rgs2001uk]

I really haven't had enough Thai, or Asian, girlfriends to make a generalization. But my Japanese girlfriend was never jealous, no more so then any of my farang girlfriends. However, my Thai girlfriend starts asking questions if I'm going out for drinks after work. If I have to travel for business she assumes I have a girlfriend (or three) in whatever city I'm traveling to. It's never angry accusations, more just questions about exactly who will be there and why I'm going.

She also won't let assumed transgressions go, I had to travel to Bangkok last year and I went without her, now every time she gets angry she brings up my "Bangkok girlfriend". She assumes I have one because I spent 12,000 baht in two days and didn't answer my phone when she called a couple of times.

I would nip that in the bud PDQ, if she doesnt change, dump her, not worth the aggro.

And before anyone asks, yes I did just that, walked out one morning and never went back, I guess she thought I was joking,I had too much of the insecurity, low self esteem, jealousy and 20 bloody questions every time I went out.

[chrisboyo]

My wife's last boyfriend cheated on her, so there was some insecurities and jealousy at first, but we spend a lot of time together and get on really well, so i think she has got over the whole jealousy thing.

I dont give her a reason to be jealous and dont want to.

Chris.

[NeverSure]

I really haven't had enough Thai, or Asian, girlfriends to make a generalization. But my Japanese girlfriend was never jealous, no more so then any of my farang girlfriends. However, my Thai girlfriend starts asking questions if I'm going out for drinks after work. If I have to travel for business she assumes I have a girlfriend (or three) in whatever city I'm traveling to. It's never angry accusations, more just questions about exactly who will be there and why I'm going.

She also won't let assumed transgressions go, I had to travel to Bangkok last year and I went without her, now every time she gets angry she brings up my "Bangkok girlfriend". She assumes I have one because I spent 12,000 baht in two days and didn't answer my phone when she called a couple of times.

I'd be curious to know how she knew how much money you had or spent. I'm not flaming you, it's just something I'd never do. When I had gf's in LOS, they had no idea how much money I had or where it was. It just appeared when needed. I wasn't living large either because they were the 90 day stays. The gal always knew I was leaving which may have helped.

But I had a 1 br apt at the Riverside in Chiang Mai and a tiny rented car which I could never find a place to park. I didn't appear to be well off whether I was or no, and the gf's got what I felt like giving them which was mostly room and board and some nice meals and a few perks for a few weeks. Nothing large.

[fletchsmile]

Jaideeguy

...the amazing thing from your post is you actually got an apology ............

[SiameseCurios]

Not flaming or having a go at you but I went through that sort of sh*t and it just got worse and worse, I work with loads of pretty women and my ex Mrs got to the stage where she was visiting my workplace and embarrassing me at work. Put a stop to it now before it gets worse.

I realize I sound like a stuck record here, but for what I perceive to be many if not most cases here, there would never be any reason to inform your partner where you work. Compartmentalization, need to know basis is the foundation of security.

No. This is just silly and childish. The basis of any worthwhile relationship is honesty and trust.

If you really can't tell (or don't wish to tell) your significant other where you work then you simply don't have what normal adults would consider to be a relationship.

I'm sorry to be rude, Johnny, but you really do need to grow up a bit.

[Patron]

For some reason my wife does not care if I look at a beautiful farang woman when in America.

Maybe she thinks she's no competition.

But the lord hath no fury like when I look at a Thai stunner in Thailand..wow.

But I found something that works everytime, I just say I'm looking because I don't know,is she girl or ladyboy.

Now is just laughs at me.

[rizla]

I`ve been with my girl for a long time .....only once has it got to a point of no return...she stomped out one night back to mom and pops with clothes in hand...2 hours later she was ringing my phone..it kept ringing for 3 days until she arrived back with her sorry darling..

I had 3 nights out on the piss, but never put a foot wrong, DID she believe me , YES because from day one i`ve told her that i don`t worry what she thinks ....i made a promise to myself that i would not break for anyone...i will not cheat, and break my own promise....but if want to go or she for that matter, we will end our partnership FIRST..

[macksview]

one example for me,had to go to the hospital,my wife went sulky,why because the nurses were talking about me saying how nice and polite i was and a pity i was married.

told me off later as i must have been flirting with them, when and how i dont know,but i must have been.

she is never jealous of farang women only asian ones.

[Shaktam]

Actually this jealousy goes back generations and seems to be built on to the Thai women's head. In earlier days and still happens now somewhat too. Thai husbands have their family and their wife of marriage but along with his wife and family he would have numerous mistresses. In old family photos these mistresses (which there can be several) can be found in the family portrait usually sitting or on the outer side of the family.

In those days everyone would know of this situation but cannot and did not speak about it.

Thai girls in my opinion can't acknowledge that western men these days are different from Thai men years ago. And yes it usually happens to me when she has her period.

[farang000999]

It probably has something to do with the rampant infidelity and lack of morals displayed by men in this society which leads to female insecurity.

[mauGR1]

Spot on, done the same mistake a few times, but i guess if you answer evasively they get even more suspicious.

Mai geeo arai gap khun.

None of your business, just like if she asks about my bank accounts, do I own a house back home, etc.

Easier said than done.

Sorry Johnny, it may work well for you, which i politely doubt, but i cannot imagine having a relationship with a woman and giving her this kind of answers.

Of course we can agree on the fact that monogamy might not exist in the future, as it goes against the natural instinct of (most of ) the people.

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Mai geeo arai gap khun.

None of your business, just like if she asks about my bank accounts, do I own a house back home, etc.

Easier said than done. Sorry Johnny, it may work well for you, which i politely doubt, but i cannot imagine having a relationship with a woman and giving her this kind of answers.

It definitely does work for me. If she insists that she has the right to know then I know she's not someone I want to keep. She may very well agree, and then that's a win all 'round.

I admit such a stance does take balls, but I do try to keep mine in shape by exercising them regularly. If a TG is interrogating you about details of your past relationships, you can be sure absolutely nothing you reveal will be processed objectively. IMO there's absolutely no benefit to you to share such information, downside only.

Just out of curiosity what possible basis would you have for thinking it's a good idea to talk about your past ex's with the new teerak?

No. This is just silly and childish. The basis of any worthwhile relationship is honesty and trust.

If you really can't tell (or don't wish to tell) your significant other where you work then you simply don't have what normal adults would consider to be a relationship.

We just define "worthwhile" differently, and I agree we are talking about different kinds of "relationship" here, which of course include parent/child, employer/employee, teacher/student, customer/service provider.

I realize that many people here choose to create/define sexual/companionship relationships differently from how I strive to set up most of mine. And that's my whole point, trying to help like-minded people that there are alternative models from what our culture has taught us is "right".

In the beginning, it's a purely transactional relationship - there is an explicit deal with full disclosure of all details, and she can take it or leave it. If she breaks the terms there are consequences, anything major and she's out.

In some cases over a period of time a small percentage turn out to be worthy of the kind of leeway, trust and sharing that you all start out assuming is required from the beginning - in my case it only is allowed to develop over time, basically as earned privileges.

And in ever rarer cases, there develops real love, not in the mythical hollywood sense but time and effort put into supporting each other, working together toward shared goals, helping each other grow as people.

So no need to try to claim "that's not a real relationship", as if there is only one true way to define such a thing. More like "that's an unusual approach" or "that's not how I choose to structure things with my partner" fine.

So bottom line for me is only share what is necessary (need to know) and in my interest to share. Anything that could come back and bite me in the butt down the road gets shelved for now until she's proven herself to be a keeper over time.

"Family jewels" like details about income and assets, contact information for important people in the other spheres of my life etc are protected almost as well as online passwords and ATM PIN numbers.

Sure bad stuff still does occasionally happen, but a lot more good than bad - I don't try to eliminate all risks but I do protect my assets, privacy and peace of mind pretty effectively.

I completely understand that most people prefer not to roll this way and that's fine, not saying you're wrong, just sharing what I've found works for me given my preferences.

Edited November 13, 2012 by BigJohnnyBKK

[robblok]

Thai girls are insecure because they got a lot to loose when the guy who provides for them says bye bye. Many guys are the girls meal ticket, they don't have skills enough to keep up the kind of life they are used to now. They know other girls want to take their place. If you got a girl that makes her own money jealousy is a lot less. Unless of course you give reason too.

I was in a open relation with the current wife all was well and good until i went too far with one of the other girls. She felt threatened in her position and got jealous. Now open like before is something i can forget about.